Rose

by Elle Casey

  “Do you think Amber will be upset about this . . . relationship . . . or whatever it is?” I ask.

  “No, why would she be mad?”

  “Because she and Greg don’t get along very well.”

  “That’s just Amber; you know her. She wants you to be happy. I know she respects Greg. She says he’s a good lawyer and he always has the band’s best interests at heart.”

  “Are you sure? Sometimes I wonder.”

  “I’m sure. She told me just the other day how cool it was that he comes all the way out here to see you.”

  “I’m nervous about this visit,” I admit.

  “Why?”

  Maybe I shouldn’t tell her, because it means for sure that Amber will find out within minutes, but I can’t keep this all to myself anymore. “Because we’ve both acknowledged that we’re into each other and that something is going to happen.”

  Em grabs my hands and squeezes. “That is so cool! I’m so excited for you.” She drops her voice to a whisper. “You’re finally going to touch his junk.”

  We both start laughing at her imitation of Amber.

  The door opens and Amber sticks her head in. “What are you laughing at?”

  Em and I look at each other and burst out laughing again.

  Amber comes in and shuts the door behind her. “If you’re laughing at me, you’re both dead.”

  She comes over and jumps onto the bed, ruining the outfit I was thinking about wearing.

  I push her off it. “Move, pregnant lady, you’re wrinkling my stuff.”

  “Getting ready for your hot date?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

  “It’s official,” Em says, her eyes gleaming. “They are officially into each other.”

  Amber smirks. “I knew it. Greg was acting totally squirrelly on the phone a minute ago.”

  “You talked to him?” My heart starts going crazy again.

  “Yeah. He’s on his way over right now. You have about ten minutes before you have to do the big reveal.”

  I jump off the bed, immediately throwing things all over the place. Maybe that outfit I picked isn’t the right one. Maybe I should wear something else. Something more subtle. Something less subtle. Something crazy, something normal, something colorful, something bland . . .

  Emerald holds up two articles of clothing. “This is what you’re going to wear. Calm down.”

  I take the white peasant blouse and dark-blue jeans with flowers embroidered on the back pockets from her and hold them up against my body. “Are you sure?” I’ve never really given a hoot about what I wear. Today is a first for me—being nervous about how I look, worrying about what a man might think of me.

  “It’s perfect,” Amber says. “It totally shows off your boobs.”

  I look up at my sisters, stricken. “Is it too much? Am I being too obvious?”

  “You wear that shirt all the time,” Em says, laughing. “Why do you think he fell for you in the first place?”

  I reach out and hit her with the hanger. “Shut up. You act like I intentionally tried to snag him or something.”

  “Nobody’s saying anything of the sort,” Amber says, folding her arms over her chest. “But my question is, where is this going?”

  The tone of her voice and her question work like a two-by-four banging me over the head, knocking some sense into me. “What do you mean?”

  “Have either of you talked about where this might go? I mean, he lives in Manhattan and he has a job there that he’s not going to leave, and you live out here in the sticks, and I know very well you’re not leaving either.”

  My face falls.

  “Wow, talk about a downer,” Emerald says, scowling at our sister.

  Amber shrugs. “I’m just being realistic. I don’t want Rose getting hurt. Am I a bad guy because of that?”

  Em doesn’t say anything. She looks at me, waiting for my response.

  “No, you’re not a bad guy.” Reality sucks. I throw the clothes onto the bed and walk over to the mirror. What does it matter what I’m wearing? This is going to be over before it even begins.

  Amber comes up behind me and puts her hand on my back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. That was me being way too nosy and way too bitchy. Can we blame it on the hormones?”

  I rub under my eyes, hoping there are no traces of my earlier tears there. “No, you’re just being honest, saying what needs to be said.”

  “What do I know? If you had sat here a few months ago and told me that things with Ty would never work, I would’ve agreed with you. But look at us now.”

  “Yeah, but you were willing to move. I’m not and neither is Greg. You were right about that. It’s an impossible situation.” Depression looms. I knew going into this it was just going to be an affair, but what if I want it to go beyond that? I can’t. Am I setting myself up for future heartache? Would it be better to just never go down that road at all? People say it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, but I’m not sure I’d agree. But I can only guess, since no one but my mothers and sisters have ever loved me back. One-sided love doesn’t count.

  “No, it’s not impossible,” Em says, coming up behind me. In the mirror there’s one sister on my left and the other on my right. I’ve been looking at their faces for twenty-five years, but today everything feels different, like I’m about to take a step toward the rest of my life. I’m so grateful that they’re standing here next to me for this.

  “Anything is possible,” Em says. “Love can surmount any obstacle.”

  Amber frowns at Emerald. “Who says they’re in love?”

  She scowls back. “Who says they’re not?”

  I turn around and put one hand on Amber’s shoulder and one hand on Em’s. “Please don’t fight. I do like him and I could love him one day. Maybe this is all a big mistake, I don’t know. But how about if I just take this one day at a time and let the universe figure it out for me?”

  My sisters nod at each other and then hug me. “I think that’s a fantastic idea,” Amber says.

  “I second that,” Emerald says.

  I have to wipe tears from under my eyes again. “Damn, I am so emotional right now. What is wrong with me?” I try to laugh it off.

  “You might be in love,” Amber says, looking at me closer. She turns to Em. “You could be right about her.”

  “Stop. You guys are being silly.” I try to wave them off, going back to look at my hair in the mirror.

  “Have you two noticed how easily we fall in love?” Emerald asks. Her expression is serious. “It started with our mothers falling for the band, but we’re no different. We meet a guy who rocks our world, and then suddenly there’s nobody else for us. We’re done looking and the search is over.”

  “It’s a good thing we fell in love with guys who fall easy too,” Amber says. “Could you imagine falling for somebody who didn’t return the feeling?”

  Pain and fear strike my heart like a lightning bolt. I could imagine it very easily because I’ve lived it. And I pray it doesn’t happen to me again, because I think my sisters might be right . . . I think I could fall in love with this man very easily, and I don’t think I could manage having my heart broken like that again. Not by him. And he’s not with the band. He’s not an artist who gives freely to the world. He’s a man who stays locked up in a tower, working his fingers to the bone, rarely going out and rarely spending time with anyone but his dog.

  Oh my goodness, what have I gotten myself into?

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  I hear Greg arrive downstairs, but I’m too much of a lily-livered coward to go down there and greet him. I’ve put my wardrobe away, and I’m wearing the outfit my sisters and I decided is my best approach, but now I actually have to leave my bedroom and go downstairs to face the man who has agreed that we’re going to start what might be termed an affair.

  I’m twenty-five years old. I should be perfectly capable of doing this, but fear has my feet frozen
to the floor. I’m staring in the mirror, looking at the image before me. My blond hair is falling in waves past my shoulders. I’ve put on a little mascara for the occasion to highlight my light-blue eyes, but that’s it. Normally, I don’t wear any. My face is freshly scrubbed and slightly pink from my heightened emotions. I put a dab of perfume on my wrists and behind my ears. Greg might have a hard time recognizing me. This is the first time he’ll see me with my hair down. I wonder what he’ll think.

  There’s a slight knock at the door, and I turn to face it. “Come in.” I expect one of my sisters or mothers to be there, but it’s Greg’s head coming around the frame.

  “Can I come in?”

  My heart lurches and then races. I break out in a cold sweat. “Sure. Come on in.” I rub my hands together. My palms are clammy. I can’t believe how quickly my body is reacting to seeing him here. In my bedroom!

  He closes the door behind him and stands there looking around. “So, this is the inner sanctum, eh?”

  His joke instantly puts me at ease. “Yep, this is it.” I gesture with my hand. “This is where the magic happens.”

  The way he looks at me is incredibly sexy. “The magic?”

  I suddenly realize what I’ve said. “The sleep magic. This is where I sleep.” I really would love to open a window and let in the cold autumn air—anything to keep me from sweating more than I already am. Why is it so stuffy in here all of a sudden?

  “I get it. Sleep does feel like magic after a long day.”

  I need to do something with my hands, but it’s not like I can pick up my brush and start stroking my hair with it. That would be too intimate. I fold my fingers at my waist and twiddle my thumbs instead. “Did you have a nice trip?”

  “I did. I left Tinkerbell downstairs, but I’m worried about leaving her alone for too long. I just wanted to come up and tell you something in private because I wasn’t sure when we would have another chance with the family around.”

  “Sure. What’s up?”

  “I brought that engagement letter, but because we were getting close to the deadline to respond to their complaint, I had my colleague go ahead and file a motion to dismiss. I hope that’s okay.”

  “It’s totally fine. What does it mean, exactly?”

  Greg takes a couple steps closer to me and adopts his lawyer face and tone. “Essentially, we’re saying that they lack the legal elements necessary to bring a lawsuit in the first place. I assume it will fail, but it’s worth a try.”

  “It’s going to fail?” The panic over my predicament instantly returns.

  “Don’t worry about it. This is just the standard process we go through. We first try the easiest route, which is to get the whole thing thrown out on a technicality, and if that doesn’t work, we take the next step.”

  “And the next step would be?”

  “The next step will be some discovery, where we ask them for some information and documents. We’ll also probably send over some interrogatories, which are questions they’ll have to answer in writing. And if what we find through those avenues is encouraging, we’ll file a motion for summary judgment.”

  “And what will that do?”

  “If we win, it will throw the case out without a trial. If we lose, then we’ll move forward to the next step, which is settlement talks.”

  “Settlement? I don’t know what I could do to settle. They’ll want me to close down, and I don’t want to do that.” What would I do then? Go to vet school? Ha, ha. As if. The very idea sends me into a panic.

  “There’s always a way to settle a dispute, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves. I really think we could defeat this on a motion for summary judgment, if not with the motion to dismiss, so I don’t want you to worry.”

  I think about that for a few seconds and nod, forcing myself to calm down. “If you tell me not to worry, then I’m going to stop worrying right now.”

  He smiles, his lawyer façade falling away. “I like that.” He takes a step closer. “You mean I can just tell you to do something, and you’ll do it?”

  I shrug, suddenly feeling a little saucy. “I guess that depends on what it is you’re telling me to do.”

  He walks even closer and reaches out, taking my elbows in his hands and pulling me to him. Mere inches separate us, and I can feel the warmth from his hands seeping through my shirtsleeves into my skin. “What if I told you to kiss me right now?” he asks. “Would you do it?”

  “I don’t know. Why don’t you give it a shot and see what happens?”

  “Rose Lancaster.” He moves in closer. I can smell his cologne. It’s a sophisticated and sexy scent. Maybe even a little bit dangerous with the way it makes my body respond. He warms me to my toes as our thighs touch.

  “Yes?” I ask.

  “I want you . . . to kiss me.” He leans toward me, his eyes falling shut.

  My hands slide up his arms to his shoulders, and my eyes close too as our mouths come together. The memory of how it felt to be touched by him comes back. I love how full his lips are and how warm and soft his tongue is. I’ve never experienced kisses like this before, replete with both tenderness and passion. His hands roam my body, and I grow warmer by the second.

  “I’ve been thinking about this for days. Weeks,” he says against my mouth. His hands slide up and down my back, kneading my muscles and sending shivers through my body.

  “Mmm, me too,” I say, my hands going up into his hair. It’s as thick and soft as I imagined it would be.

  “How much time do we have before we have to go downstairs?” he whispers.

  “That’s up to you,” I say. “You didn’t want to leave Tinkerbell down there too long, right?”

  He backs up, breaking off the kiss. “Damn. I can’t believe I forgot about her.” He looks stricken.

  I put my hands on his cheeks and smile. “Don’t feel guilty. I have pretty powerful kisses.”

  He grins charmingly, looking relieved. “That you do.” He leans in and gives me three sweet kisses before pulling away again. “Are you coming down with me?”

  “Yes.” Part of me wants us to stay up here in my room and hide because I know I’m going to be wearing a goofy grin when I go downstairs that everyone is going to see. But I’m afraid if I stay up here I’ll never come down again; my fear and anxiety over potential heartbreak will grow to the point that it defeats me. And I don’t want to be defeated. I want to enjoy this while it lasts, even if that means there’s the pain of loss waiting for me down the line. I’m going to believe my sister Emerald when she tells me that anything is possible. Until the universe shows me otherwise, I’m going with that theory.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Greg and I share lunch together. Surprisingly, we’re dining alone. My moms are with the band, and they’re all in town together shopping. Emerald and Sam are at the clinic keeping an eye on the front desk and the animals for me, and Amber and Ty have taken Sadie and all the dogs, including Tinkerbell, on a hike. It’s the first day we’ve been without rain in a while, and Sadie loves hunting for mushrooms. She’s learning about them from Barbara, and Emerald has been showing her how to draw them in a little notebook that she carries everywhere. We’re guaranteed at least an hour of complete privacy. It’s a miracle. We even received Amber’s assurances that if Tinkerbell starts to tire, they’ll carry her. She only weighs four pounds, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.

  “Is this normal?” Greg asks, looking around. “I’ve never been here when it’s been this quiet before.”

  I shake my head, taking a sip of my lemonade before answering. “No. This is not normal at all. I’m pretty sure this was manufactured to give us some alone time.”

  He pauses with the sandwich halfway to his mouth. “Seriously?”

  I nod, taking the tiniest bite of my sandwich. I have a very nervous stomach right now.

  He slowly lowers the food to his plate as he stares at me. His gaze goes very intense after it drops to my lips.

  “What are you thin
king right now?” I ask. I’m pretty sure I know the answer to my question, but I need to hear him say it.

  “I was thinking that we’ve been given a rare gift and we really shouldn’t squander it.”

  I lower my sandwich to my plate too. “What did you have in mind?”

  He reaches over and holds my fingers. “You’re going to think I’m rude if I say what’s in my head right now.”

  I have to smile at his naïveté. “I doubt it. I live on a hippie commune, remember? We’re what you’d call ‘free thinkers’ around here.”

  He smiles somewhat shyly. “I don’t want to screw anything up between us.”

  “The only way you could screw something up between us is to not be honest.”

  His grip on my hand tightens, and his expression slips. The sexual intensity disappears, replaced by something I don’t recognize. He lets go of my hand and grabs his sandwich. “That’s fair.” He takes a huge bite.

  I pick up my sandwich too, wondering what I said wrong. Maybe I just misinterpreted that earlier expression he was wearing.

  He takes another bite of his food and then a drink. I watch his throat move as he swallows and then his jaw muscles bulge out over and over again as he chews his food. Is it possible for a man to be handsome when he’s eating? Before this moment I would’ve said no. Now I’d say yes. Definitely. He’s literally turning me on by eating a sandwich. I am so desperate it’s ridiculous. I really wish he’d said what I was imagining he was going to say earlier: Let’s go up to the bedroom and get naked.

  I use two hands to hold my sandwich and bite off a corner. I try to remember to chew with my mouth closed so I don’t gross him out. I’ve never been so conscious of how I eat. He takes another huge bite of his sandwich too. We’re staring at each other as we chew. His gaze is focused on my mouth.

  “What?” I wipe my lips with my napkin. “Do I have food on my face again?”

  “Again?” He uses his napkin too.

  I sigh. “Don’t pretend you didn’t see that giant leaf on my tooth the last time you were here. After lunch. I had, like, an entire head of lettuce on there.”