by Helene Gadot
Blood weighs my feathers down as I transform into my nightingale. Shifting into her is almost seamless, most of the pain torturing my broken human body fading away as she heals us.
We ruffle our feathers, still bitter at the clipped wings keeping us grounded and trapped.
Always bitter at the loss of freedom.
Though, is it a loss if it’s something we’ve never had?
The doctor snatches us into his hands, squeezing so tight we squawk in pain and protest, our ribs creaking, our breath trapped.
We’re shoved into the nasty cage he likes to keep us in that burns our nostrils, the stench of rust too strong.
Our chest rises and falls in quick, shallow breaths, weakness from the wounds and whatever else the doctor did to us making us lightheaded and exhausted. Our eyes blink slower and slower as sleep calls to us, promising rest and healing.
The doctor and his minions have already turned their backs on us, focused on our unicorn mate. We let out a rather weak and pathetic chirp of concern, not wanting to let on to the doctor of all people of our mate status, but not wanting to sit here trapped and forced to watch them put the unicorn through the horror they routinely put us through.
They ignore us, the unicorn the only one who glances over at me, the slightest shake of his head signaling us to stay out of it.
We ruffle our feathers in frustration, wanting to do something, at least take their attention off him for a bit, anything.
Being one with my nightingale makes it harder to resist our bond with him. The fear and pain from losing Rowan isn’t as strong, the determination to keep them safe from us is buried, the need to stay away has vanished.
Usually, I’d fight her, but we’re too entwined together. I don’t know where she begins and I end. We’re the same. This is how it’s always supposed to be, but we never have enough time together like this to learn how to work fluidly together. Instead we have a bunch of stolen moments, usually spent recovering from dancing too close to death.
THE DOCTOR STICKS TO a relatively simple exam, nothing painful or overly invasive — checking the unicorn’s ears, mouth, pulse, looking over him for wounds.
It’s rather boring and the doctor seems like he’s gotten most of the violence out of his system, so we’re no longer able to fight the healing sleep we need to strengthen up and switch back. We want to keep watching and keep enjoying our time together, but we’re starting to shake and the pain radiates stronger and deeper with each minute we put it off.
Our eyes slide closed, our left foot rising and burying itself in the feathers of our belly.
We’re woken when rough fingers wrap around my throat and pull me out of the cage. “Time to shift back.”
We’re dropped back onto the blood-soaked table, our wings flapping uselessly as we tumble onto the slippery surface.
A warble vibrates from our throat as we find our feet and check on our unicorn. He’s fine. No sign of blood or pain.
But he’s still strapped in and is now completely naked.
I blink and look away, not wanting to see him like that, though my nightingale fights me, curiosity strong inside her. And a hint of desire, even in these disgusting and awkward circumstances.
Damn dirty bird.
“Shift back, inmate. Now.”
We ruffle our feathers and snap our beak, a little more backbone showing up when we’re together and healed.
Mostly.
The doctor narrows his eyes at us, the threat clear.
With an eternal sigh and a farewell mental hug, our body twitches and grows, our vision warping and blurring, leaving us panting and lying in our own blood on our side, naked and trembling.
The doctor snaps the collar back around our throat with a whispered word and we’re separated again, the loss making me cry out and curl into myself, battling tears.
From the corner of my eye, I see the unicorn lurch against his restraints.
The two guards grab my arms and force my aching and still shaking body onto my back before they tie me back up, but at least this time I’m not completely immobilized.
Then, without another word, they follow the doctor from the building, leaving the unicorn and I alone.
Chapter Fourteen
Allegra
“What the fuck was that?” The unicorn strains against his bonds, his grumpy attitude building.
“That was a Thursday here. Welcome. Don’t expect your next visit to this building to be quite as painless as it was this time.” I clear my sore and raspy throat, wishing for just a few drops of water to ease my thirst.
“I wouldn’t call this visit painless.” He eyes the blood still covering me, the table, even the floor.
They really skirted the edge today.
It’s not always quite this bad for me. Sometimes it’s just a small vial of blood. Other times, they cut off parts of my organs to study.
There’s no rhyme nor reason to anything the doctor does to any of us. For some reason, he prefers me to anyone else.
Though Zakar is a close second.
He likes getting us young, the sick prick.
“I missed most of whatever they did to you.”
He doesn’t seem to be in pain, but maybe he’s better at hiding it than I am.
He scoffs. “Wish I could say the same.”
“Right. Sorry.” I don’t know why I’m apologizing.
I don’t ask to be experimented on and tortured. It’s not my fault. But the way he keeps glaring at me has me on edge, no matter how much longing my nightingale pulses through me. Now that we’re separated again, all the reasons I need to keep my distance are important again.
After a few moments of stilted silence, he sighs and asks, “What’s your name?”
“Allegra.”
He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Of course it is.”
What’s wrong with my name? Tahira gave it to me when my mother died too fast to name me herself. She said she chose that name because nightingales have a beautiful song.
He looks away from me to stare up at the ceiling. “Anyway, look. I don’t know what you’re expecting or hoping for now that we’re here, but this isn’t going to happen.”
I frown. “What isn’t?”
There’s nothing I expect from them other than leaving me alone.
“The bond.” He mouths the word in case anyone is nearby to overhear us.
I almost laugh, but I’m still sore and aching and don’t want to make it worse.
Instead, I merely nod, my lips twitching as I keep my voice low. “You’re right. It’s not. If we keep our distance, our Arcane sides should calm down eventually. The collars help.”
His shocked violet eyes dart back to mine. “Oh. Right. Good. Glad we got that out of the way.”
Clearly, he expected me to be hurt and upset at the news, but he should really learn to get over himself. He doesn’t seem like that much of a catch.
We subside back into silence and I try to cheer up my nightingale who’s pouting with her back to me, mad that I refuse to give in to the bond and heartbroken that he clearly has no interest in it either. It’s a good thing and makes all this a lot easier.
I tried to stay away from Rowan, but he wasn’t having it, determined to get to know me, to protect me, to love me. Eventually, my walls crumbled and while I don’t exactly have regrets, I still have a lot of pain I’ll never get past.
The last thing I plan to do is open myself up to more. It’s bad enough I’ve allowed Tahira and Zakar behind my walls. If something happens to them, I’ll taunt the doctor until he does actually kill me.
I can’t keep living day after day in this place without them.
I just can’t.
I’m not strong enough.
“They put you through that every week?”
I jump at his sudden angry tone. “Not every week. It’s usually not this bad.”
Sometimes, it’s worse.
He grunts, but doesn’t say anything else.
Oh, he’s probably worried the same experience is waiting for him.
“Don’t worry. They won’t take it this far with you. You’re a unicorn. Rare. You’ll spend a lot of time here, but he’ll want to get all the information about you he possibly can before he starts taking you apart.”
My words aren’t as reassuring as I meant them to be.
He stares at me like I’m crazy. “Good to know.”
It’s better if we don’t talk, I think.
Certainly less awkward.
I don’t need to get to know him and he doesn’t need to get to know me. He seems like an ass anyway, all glares and brooding.
Nothing like Rowan.
Sure, my lion was grumpy sometimes and possessive and protective, but he never turned it only on me. It was always in defense of me.
The unicorn is definitely nothing like Rowan.
Who never spoke an unkind word to me.
Not once.
Not even at my craziest or when I lashed out at him in pain and frustration. He always remained patient and loving and sweet. Even if the next moment, he’d choke out someone who got a little too close.
Fuck, I miss him so much.
Nothing will ever fill the missing hole he left when Borus killed him.
“Where’d they go?”
I shrug with a wince as the movement pulls against the binds and my aching muscles. “No idea. He does that sometimes. Just leaves his specimens here tied up even though he’s done with them. I think it’s to keep us in our place. Or to keep us guessing. I stopped questioning why they do any of this a long time ago.”
“Did you ever question it or have you always just taken whatever abuse they dole out?” His tone is nasty and accusing, like he’s already decided I’m a traitor to our kind.
I flinch, his question hitting too close to home where all my insecurities lie.
Honestly, I’m not sure if I ever questioned this life or if I’ve just always obeyed.
I turn my head to avoid his eyes, paralyzed as his words echo over and over again in my head. When I thought I couldn’t get any lower, I sink
down,
down,
down.
The unicorn is definitely making the decision to stay away from these males a lot easier on me.
Even my nightingale has stopped pushing me towards him and is instead snapping her beak in offended frustration.
The silence is thick between us, bloated with tension and unspoken words.
He growls in frustration. “I’m not trying to be an ass. My friends and I... we just can’t get involved with anyone here. I can’t go into why. But it’s better for you anyway. So, I need you to stay away from them as well.”
My jaw hardens and I refuse to look at him. “Not a problem. I’m completely uninterested in you and your friends or a connection. You do your thing and I’ll do mine. “
I close my eyes and block him out, suddenly fighting tears again.
I’m not usually so weepy, almost numb to pain and loss. But their arrival has me all disoriented.
Tomorrow, I’ll get my head on straight.
I hope.
Chapter Fifteen
Gavyn
MY KNEES ALMOST GIVE out on me when my mate walks into the kitchen with only a few spots of blood on her it looks like she missed during cleanup
I was pretty sure she was still alive once the bond returned, but there was a part of me convinced I was imaging it.
My own relief is reflected on the old woman’s face and she rushes over to my mate, grabbing her shoulders and looking her up and down.
“I’m fine, Tahira.”
Tahira huffs. “You’re not fine, fledgling. No one would be after that. It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”
The songbird’s spine bows and she sighs. “I don’t know anymore. It’s been worse in the past, I think.”
“The whole place heard you.”
Her shoulders hunch as she cringes, like she wants to disappear at the news.
I can still hear the haunting agony of her scream. I can still feel the way our connection was ripped out of my chest, leaving me aching and empty when I believed she was dead.
And that’s before knowing her, before giving in to the mating bond.
If we were fully mated when that happened, I would’ve been on the floor, convulsing and screaming with her.
If this is her life here, we’ve got to figure out a way to defend ourselves from it, from her.
She’s dangerous.
My feet carry me over to her before I realize I’m moving. She eyes me with tentative suspicion.
I search for something to say that has nothing to do with the mate bond with so many others here paying attention to us. The guards may have left us alone for the moment, but I’m more aware than most how often Arcanes collaborate with humans.
Painfully aware.
“My friend. Sterling. He was in there with you. Is he all right?” I should’ve come up with that a lot sooner, but seeing her alive and talking and walking has me completely flummoxed.
“They didn’t hurt him. He was sent to work wherever he was assigned. I have no idea where that is.” A strange look passes through her pretty hazel eyes, something I recognize as pain.
I hope Sterling wasn’t too much of an ass when he told her we can’t accept the bond. I’d planned to be the one to explain things to her.
“He was assigned the gardens.” My incubus pushes at me, wanting me to grab her and yank her into our arms, using our body as a shield against all who wished her harm.
He wants to reassure himself she’s truly unharmed after whatever they just put her through.
I definitely have a lot of questions for Sterling later.
She nods. “Then that’s where he’s at. You’ll see him later when we pass out our dinner of bread and watered down ale.”
“I see. Thank you.”
She gives me a small, uncertain smile before turning her back on me and heading over to the waist high wooden table, where she gets right to measuring flour and eggs and milk, like she hadn’t just been tortured.
And everyone else goes right back to work too, everyone so used to this life, they barely flinch.
I know the nightingale has been here her whole life, but what about everyone else? Have they been here months, years, decades?
At what point do they grow so accustomed to it? And how bad does it get if this barely causes a stir?
Our mission here is even more crucial now that we’ve seen what’s going on here. Once I have a full report from Sterling, we’ll have to figure out more concrete plans.
Though any plan we make depends on our mage being able to find us after we were sent to the wrong prison.
We were supposed to get taken to the one with a very specific warden. Things will have to change now, our plans turning fluid.
There has to be a way to turn this for our profit.
I just hope the three of us are able to find some time and privacy to figure out our next move. They certainly don’t play around in here, just throwing new prisoners right into the deep end.
And the senior inmates don’t seem too interested in showing us the ropes.
I turn back to the piles of vegetables I’m supposed to be chopping, my stomach complaining of hunger after the pathetic excuse for a meal they fed us hours ago.
Usually, we need more food than humans, our Arcane powers burning more energy than them. It’s no wonder everyone here looks starved and weak.
And just bread and ale for dinner?
Sterling is going to be even more of an ass than usual if they’re feeding us so little. He doesn’t do hungry well.
I consider smuggling a few carrots and tomatoes into my uniform for him. Or shoving some of them directly into my own mouth.
Before I do either, the old mage who’s friends with my mate appears at my side. “Don’t chance it. They find out. Someone will tell on you and we’re patted down before we can leave. If you’re caught with
food, you’ll get fifty lashes with the whip and you won’t be allowed to heal supernaturally. Don’t worry, eventually you get used to the hunger and it becomes a minor annoyance.”
I raise a brow. “Really?”
She snorts and shakes her head. “No. It’s always miserable. Especially for us since we’re around it so much. But it’s starve or end up constantly beaten. You can decide which option works best for you.”
“Thanks for the warning.” It’s imperative that the three of us remain healthy as much as we can, keeping up our strength for the mission ahead of us.
“Of course. I’ll give you one more.” She looks around the kitchen, making sure to keep her voice low.
“What’s that?” I ask.
Her eyes narrow on me. “Stay away from Allegra. Tell your friends to do the same. She doesn’t want the mate bond and I won’t let the three of you get her killed. She’s already got enough pain in her life. You don’t need to bring her anymore.”
“We don’t plan to give in to the mate bond. We’re here for a reason and we can’t afford distractions.”
“Good.” She turns on her heel and returns to her station.
I stare after her, shocked and a little amused at the little old woman handing me my ass in defense of the fascinating songbird she cares so much about.
At least I finally know my mate’s name. Allegra. And her not wanting the bond either makes all of this much simpler. I wasn’t looking forward to hurting her if she came to us, happy and excited to find her mates.
I ignore the incubus part of me who’s disappointed and a little offended that she’s turning us down too.
He puffs up his chest, convinced if we had our powers, she’d change her mind.
Somehow, I have my doubts.
Chapter Sixteen
Allegra
SO, THE UNICORN’S NAME is Sterling. Doesn’t fit him at all. It sounds more appropriate for some stuffy, rich human or even a fancy and beautiful elf instead of a mean prick of a horse.
