by Helene Gadot
I clutch the basket closer to me, the weight heavy in my arms. “Probably. We need to practice for our performance tomorrow.”
Rillon grins. “I look forward to it.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll see you later.”
I smile and wave, turning back towards the kitchens, but sticking closer to the fence. When I get to the spot I need, I pretend to stumble and dump the entire basket out right on top of bright yellow flowers.
With a loud curse, I drop to my knees and gather the vegetables, a few flowers mixed in with everything else.
Perfect.
I stand back to my feet and carry my goods back to the kitchen where of course they pat me down before I even make it inside the kitchens.
Tahira raises a brow when I reenter and I dip my head in a small nod as I bring her the basket.
I palm the flowers, tucking them into my uniform.
For a while, I get back to work, preparing bread and washing dishes and cutting vegetables, the usual tedious garbage.
Once everyone gets to the busy part of making the major spread for the guards’ dinner is when I strike.
The flowers come out of my shirt and I squeeze out the seeds, dumping the wrangled flowers into the scrap heap and the seeds on the counter. Using the side of the knife, I smash and scrape until the seeds turn into a paste.
I chop herbs and lemon zest into the paste, mixing it until I have a nice smelling sauce which I scoop into a cheesecloth and set it in the middle of the table. Since this is my station, no one else will bother cleaning up my mess so it should be safe until it’s time to serve.
And from there, I can ruin the prick’s day. Hopefully longer.
Gavyn keeps glancing over at me, suspicion in his furrowed brows. I thought I’d been careful, but somehow he’s figured out I’m up to something. Hopefully, he’ll leave it alone and trust I’m not doing anything to hurt him or his friends.
I smile at him, trying to make it reassuring and innocent instead of anything insane, but based on the way he jerks back, I don’t succeed.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Gavyn
MY MATE IS UP TO SOMETHING. Ever since she returned from the garden she’s been acting shifty, hunching over her work station, eyes constantly darting across the kitchen, on the watch for any attention on her.
I may have successfully avoided her for the past few days, but even though we’ve barely exchanged a handful of words, I’m frightfully aware of each of her movements and facial expressions.
My incubus is obsessed.
And honestly, so am I.
After watching her here in the kitchens and in the dungeon at night, she’s become even more intriguing than before.
At first we believed her weak and possibly even a traitor to Arcanes, but that’s not who she is at all. She’s kind and sad and clever and haunted and broken and skittish.
Anyone who needs help, she assists. Anyone who’s upset, she tries to cheer up even though none of her laughs or smiles reach her eyes. Anyone who is treating someone else badly, she stands up for.
Now, ever since Sterling returned from the doctor hurt, there is a sort of manic fury in her eyes. It’s a new expression than all the others I’ve studied since we arrived here.
Very new.
It makes her almost unrecognizable.
Which makes her even more intriguing.
Denying the bond is becoming almost painful. And not only because of my incubus. I want to know her as well. I want to know what all those expressions mean, what is going through her mind, what is between that jinn and her, what she tastes like.
It all began when we heard her sing and then experienced the way everyone joined in, like it’s a regular thing. Though she and her jinn have been silent every night since.
Curiosity burns me as I watch Allegra check over her shoulder yet again. If she’s trying to be sneaky, she’s not the best at it. Something I find reassuring. She’s definitely not someone who can pretend to be someone she’s not.
Which reinforces our decision to keep her out of our messy lives with the resistance. Pretending to be someone you’re not is a crucial skill. It’s a cutthroat and violent world. While this place is too, there’s a massive difference in having violence done to you and doling out violence to others. Even the people who are hateful to her, she’s still kind to. She’s been through enough and she still has the ability to be kind instead of ruthless.
Unfortunately, we need those who are willing to harm or even kill for the greater good if we want to win this war.
If I had to guess, I bet she’s somehow sneaking food to someone who needs it. No idea how she plans to smuggle food out of here with the way they keep track of the supplies, but she’s lived here her whole life. She’s probably come up with a way.
I tell myself I need to keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t get caught, but really I just want to see what she’s up to.
And I just want to watch her without dealing with the pesky guilt constantly nagging me, reminding me I’m supposed to be staying away, that she’s not for me.
For us.
Even if that means letting that damn jinn have her.
It’s clear he adores her. He’s been digging for information about us from Archer, who has been giving him the run-around instead of anything real, not trusting him to keep his mouth shut if we let it slip about our place in the resistance.
So far, he hasn’t acted like he views us as any kind of competition for her affections, but he could be playing it smart.
Or he isn’t worried because our mate couldn’t be more uninterested in us if she tried. She’s barely even glanced at me these past days even though we’re in the same building for the majority of every day. She ignores Archer and Sterling too.
The most interest she’s shown was when Sterling came in injured today at the midday meal.
But she didn’t ask any questions or say a word. She just went back to serving each person who passed through the chow line.
She really can’t give a shit, easily ignoring the bond without a struggle. It’s starting to drive me a little crazy. And I can tell it’s bothering Sterling the most even though he’s the one who is against her the strongest.
Archer is taking it pretty personally too, especially since the only reason he hasn’t attempted to solidify the bond is because Sterling and I are against it.
I still haven’t figured out what she’s up to by the time we head into the refectory to serve the guards their dinner.
Tahira shoves a platter of steaming rolls into my hands. “Take these and get out there.”
My stomach growls as the buttery and yeasty scent hits my nose. The bread Allegra and the others who work on the prisoner food is delicious, but we don’t get any butter. Nor are we allowed the fragrant roast or herbed oil dressed greens or the gravy covered potatoes.
Even though Archer and I have found a mutually beneficial way to combat the hunger with blood and lust, it’s not enough. And it’s even harder for Sterling with no way to transfer energies and no way to steal food from the garden with the guards watching the way they do, ready with their infernal whips for anyone they even suspect of pilfering a tiny tomato or a shriveled potato.
They’d feed it to the dogs before they gave us anything extra.
It’s almost impossible to believe anyone lasts longer than six months here. How did our mate last her entire life?
Knowing she’s never tasted freedom makes me sick to my stomach. That she’s spent her whole life starving, separated from her nightingale, never exploring the world, never getting drunk in a tavern, never learning how to fight, never falling in love.
Just this drudgery.
And now, her mates have somehow found her and we tell her we don’t want her?
We are the biggest pricks.
She deserves so much better than us.
Which is yet another reason we should get her out of here and then leave her alone. She deserves a cha
nce to learn about the world outside of this cage, to eat, to make friends, spread her wings, sleep in a comfortable bed with actual blankets instead of a pile of rags, explore the forest, the beaches, the mountains, the deserts.
Whatever she wants.
We can give that to her.
I’m patting myself on the back for my complete altruistic plans, ignoring my own fears and apprehension over mates and the belief I probably won’t make it through this war alive. Finding my mate is the last thing I expected or wanted.
But here we are. And we have to do the best thing for her and us.
Which is get us all the hell out of here. Something I’m beginning to fear is impossible since my mage contact still hasn’t shown up or sent us any message or sign she’s tracked us down.
And without our powers, I’m doubtful we can perform any kind of jailbreak.
We’re running out of time.
I’m supposed to be a leader.
What kind of leader gets themselves locked up on purpose in the wrong blasted prison with no way out?
I should be out there, fighting to free my people, fighting to lead my people. But instead, I’m standing here like a pathetic asshole, waiting for these pricks to finish eating in case they need seconds or thirds. Gluttonous bastards.
It’s just another punishment, making us watch while they indulge and we starve.
Their creativity when it comes to making our lives miserable is almost impressive. I’m certainly learning some important lessons in cruelty here that might prove helpful when we get out of here.
The doctor especially seems to be enjoying his meal with gusto.
I have a lot of plans for him once I get this damn collar off my neck.
All of them are incredibly violent.
My brows furrow when the doctor stiffens in his seat, like my thoughts somehow came to fruition just from the power of my rage. His face flushes and he falls back onto the floor, convulsing.
Guards on either side of him rush over to him, kneeling at his sides to see what’s wrong.
What the hell is going on?
The guards get some ale down the doctor’s throat and after coughing a few times, he calms, looking a little better.
A great big smile spreads across his face and he pulls the younger male guard close and tries to lead him into some kind of waltz. The guard stumbles along with a strangled sound, confusion painting his face. The doctor dips the guard with a hysterical laugh, sounding more like a hyena than a human.
I look over at the other prisoners, specifically my mate and her mage friend.
Allegra has a small smirk on her face and a light in her eyes for the first time since I saw her when we arrived. Tahira is more openly amused. The other kitchen workers are shooting Allegra mixed looks, some impressed, some terrified.
Looks like our mate might not be as innocent as she seems. Looks like she might be just as insane and bloodthirsty as we are. She’s just a lot more clever and ingenious about it.
Sterling and Archer will be sorry they missed this.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Allegra
MY HEAD TILTS TO THE side as I enjoy the doctor completely losing his shit. He’s up on the table, singing a tavern tune incredibly badly and incredibly incorrectly.
This is going better than I expected.
I might have used a few more seeds than I’ve ever used before when I’ve gotten a little vengeful in the past.
The guard who used to make my life even worse than the doctor does is the only other person I’ve used it on and he pretty much just giggled a lot before posting out.
Nothing to this extreme.
It’s brilliant.
The other guards indulge the doctor at first, just thinking him a little tipsy on mead, but the louder and more erratic he gets, the more concerned they look. A couple of them try to coax him down, but he ignores them.
Until his face loses all its blood and a horrified expression takes over. The doctor grabs his behind and stumbles down off the table, racing from the refectory, leaving a stunned silence in his wake.
Outside the doors, his groans moan as he empties his bowels with horrible wet squelching sounds.
A few laugh, a few gag, but most everyone remains too shocked to respond.
That didn’t happen last time.
Tahira never mentioned that specific side effect. I definitely used too much.
Maybe it’ll kill him.
One can only hope.
I’m sure it won’t be long before they get another doctor here to poke and prod and slice and stab, but a break would be nice.
The highest ranking guard, second only to the warden barks for order, gesturing for us to clear out.
We grab our mostly empty trays and platters, carrying everything back to the kitchens to be put away for tomorrow’s midday meal.
The cleaners come in after us, there to make sure everything is fresh and sparkling for the guards in the morning.
I was on that work detail a few years ago. Definitely my least favorite so far. I still haven’t been assigned the mines yet, and hopefully won’t either.
Though I wouldn’t mind spending more time with Zakar.
We haven’t worked together since we were moved out of the gardens years ago when we were still children.
They separated us when they noticed how close we’d grown.
Tahira joins me at my workstation to help get everything put away. “How much did you use?”
“Three flowers?” It comes out as more of a question than an answer, since I’m still a bit in shock over the whole thing.
It usually just makes whoever ingests the seeds act foolish and insane. Not dance on the tables, kissing guards, and shitting himself crazy.
Though it was the only thing to bring me such joy and amusement in a long time.
Tahira grimaces. “Only one is necessary.”
I shrug. “I was a little angry.”
I refuse to feel guilty. He deserves whatever he gets for everything he’s done.
She scrubs at my workstation while I return tools and food to their proper bins. “It could kill him.”
I glance around the kitchens, but only Gavyn is paying us any attention and he’s too far away to overhear a word we’re saying. “I won’t be sorry if it does.”
I mean every word.
Today, I have no more kindness or patience or even fear inside me. I don’t care if they find out I’m the cause and kill me for it. Watching him lose it like that was worth dying for.
I’m no hero or leader or warrior or champion.
I’m just a flightless bird with no real strength or power.
But I’ve learned a lot from the Arcanes who have come and gone here in this hellhole. Especially from Tahira.
And my benevolent nature only goes so far. I only have so much restraint.
Everyone has a point at which they snap.
Seeing Sterling in pain was mine today.
Tahira covers my hand with her own. “Taking a life is no small thing. You shouldn’t be so glib. No matter how much the bastard deserves it.”
She acts like I don’t already understand how big of a deal it is. She acts like she doesn’t remember what I did to the last human here who felt my wrath when I snapped when I found out what he’d been doing to Zak. What I planned to do to Borus if he hadn’t disappeared right after Rowan died.
I know what taking a life does to your soul.
And even though mine is darker than it once was, I have no regrets.
At least, not over those actions.
My hand curls into a fist beneath hers. “There’s only one I want to see dead more, but he’s not here. Can’t get to him. I didn’t try to kill him, but I refuse to feel guilty if he dies. It’ll save us all from a lot of pain.”
She sighs and goes back to scrubbing. “It will. But it could also raise their suspicions. And you know how they respond when they think we’ve tried to fight back in any way.”
Tahira has a point. Every hint of rebellion is quickly and brutally squashed before they ever really get started.
“I’ll turn myself in before I allow that to happen.”
Tahira stiffens.
“Absolutely not,” she hisses. “Let’s just see what we wake up to in the morning. Don’t even tell Zakar what you did.”
My brows furrow. “He’d never betray me.”
Never. I trust him more than anyone.
“I know. But if he’s questioned, he won’t have to lie.”
I don’t like the idea of keeping anything from him, but Zakar does hate lying.
And he’s terrible at it.
I’ll admit everything to him tomorrow if the doctor ends up making it through the night.
No matter what happens to me, I hope I wake up and he’s out of our lives for good, no longer able to hurt us.
I should’ve done this a long time ago.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Sterling
I WATCH THAT DAMN BIRD of ours rescue an earthworm from being trampled by a guard and place the thing safely into a pile of dirt and grass at the edge of the garden and then accept the backhand from the guard for daring to get in his way.
She barely flinches, her mind seemingly on something else as she rises back to her full height and continues on to the kitchens after bringing a basket of bread to the guards at the mine.
Allegra doesn’t even glance over at me, leaving me and the guard who dared touch her staring after her.
My fists clench at my sides and I add him to the list I have in my head. One that’s growing to pretty much everyone in this place. Our mage needs to hurry the hell up and get us out of here. I can’t witness my mate being abused much longer.
I can’t keep accepting the humiliation without fighting back.
I’m ready to murder every single person here or die trying, fuck the mission.
The bruise is already forming on her face.
Dammit.
Gavyn has to be wrong about her.
There’s no way she poisoned the doctor. She just saved an earthworm. And I’ve watched her sneak water to the poor bastards locked in the cages at the edge of the prison. I can’t imagine she would have the ruthlessness to attempt to kill someone.
