by Helene Gadot
Zakar scoffs, stepping forward with a scowl. “Because you haven’t even attempted to get to know her or what she wants. Instead you judged her based on who she has to be in front of the guards. She’s had to fight to survive every single day of her life and has adapted accordingly. But in spite of that, she’s somehow kept a purity of spirit.”
Tahira places a calming hand on Zakar’s forearm. “You’re not going to talk her into that plan. Better to just give her a job to do. And us with her. Preferably far from wherever you are if you’re determined to ignore the bond. It’ll be a lot easier for all of you once we’re out of here and you’re not forced to see each other every day.”
My unicorn hates this plan. It was bad enough when we denied the bond, but he took comfort in the belief in her safety once we escape this place. But to drop her off with some resistance cell in the middle of a war and leave her in danger is not something he’s going to accept.
“Do the two of you want to be involved in the resistance as well?” Archer asks.
He’s the only one of us who has given a single shit about the little birdie’s desires or choices.
“I go with her.” Zakar crosses his arms across his chest, like he’s daring us to deny him and his claim.
He’s starting to piss me off. We’ve made it clear we’re staying away from her. We’re not going to steal her from him. As if she’d let us.
After watching the way they interact, I’m even less inclined to try to accept the bond because there’s no way she’s giving him up and there’s no way I’m sharing my mate with anyone other than these men I already know and love.
And even that is pushing it.
Archer may like the guy, but I don’t trust him. He’s too angry and possessive over her.
Tahira rubs at the small of her back with a wince. “I’m certainly willing to help out where I can.”
She may like to play the crotchety old lady, but I have a feeling she’s hiding more brains and power than she likes to let on.
Just like Gavyn’s crazy grandmother.
This mage even took in two strays just like the woman who took me in years ago.
“We could send them to Eron. What do you think?” Gavyn asks.
I growl at the idea. Most of the people there are on the front lines. “No. Lacy.”
Her work is extremely important, and I’m hoping it’ll appeal to the birdie with a bleeding heart.
Gavin and Archer nod thoughtfully. It’s mostly safe, but they’ll still be able to do work we desperately need and our mate apparently desperately needs to be a part of.
And it’s at least a three day’s drive from where we’re based out of for now. Plenty of distance, but close enough we can make it pretty quickly in the case of an emergency.
Zakar and Tahira eye us suspiciously, but I don’t care. I’ll do whatever needs to be done to keep the people I care about safe.
Gavyn turns to the mage. “That’ll work. And don’t worry, you’ll be involved plenty. There’s a lot of work to go around. Do you think the people here would join us? Or will they just head back to their lives?”
Tahira shrugs. “Probably a mix of both, but once the ones who try to go back make it home, they’ll realize home isn’t there anymore and if it is, it’s not safe. So you’ll end up with a fair amount of soldiers for your war.”
“We need them. We’re losing.” I’m tired of losing.
Of losing battles. Of losing people. Of losing hope.
“What was the point of you getting captured and tossed in here with us?” Zakar asks. “Just to lead a prison break? Granted, it’s a pretty good blow to them.”
“We’re after a particular warden. This isn’t the prison we were supposed to be sent to, but something changed in transit. We’re trying again once we’re out of here.” Gavyn runs his fingers through his hair.
He’s taken this setback the hardest out of all of us.
“I see. Do you plan on coming back for Allegra once you’ve accomplished your real mission? Is that why you’ve been determined to deny the bond?” Tahira narrows her eyes on each one of us, a threat lurking in her gaze.
I can’t tell if she wants us to return for Allegra or stay the hell away.
I can’t tell what I’d rather do either.
For the first time, my unicorn and I aren’t on the same side.
The damn bird has split us up.
Gavyn begins pacing again. “Partly. And we’re living a very dangerous life. It’ll be a miracle if we all make it out of this war alive.”
Tahira shakes her head with a disgusted snort. “Life is dangerous, fools. You’re not promised a tomorrow. You might as well find as much joy and love as you can while you’re still here.”
I scowl. “She doesn’t want to be connected to us either.”
There’s no way I’m accepting all of the blame for our ignored bond.
A growl more natural for a tiger shifter than a mage rumbles in her throat. “Because she’s scared. The last mate she let past her walls and into her heart died on her. If she denies the bond, she thinks she’s safe. Even though she still has love in her life that she could lose.”
I don’t miss the glance she shoots Zakar. But he does.
The fool probably still hasn’t figured out he’s in love with his best friend.
“None of this matters right now. We need to focus on getting the hell out of here. Then we can worry about personal matters and relationships.” I’m tired of talking about this.
I’m tired of thinking about this.
It’s saturated our conversations and our minds ever since we arrived.
She’s wormed her way inside of me and I don’t like it. The faster we get out of here, the better.
“Is she okay?” Archer asks, glancing at the door with a worried frown. “Should we go talk to her?”
“No. I’ll make sure she’s fine and explain everything she missed.” Zakar gives us a nod and leaves without a goodbye, rushing to get to our mate.
Who he curls up with every night like she has the right.
And I suppose he does.
“Unless you need to tell me anything else, get out of my cell. I want to go to sleep.” Tahira points to the door.
All right then.
Chapter Thirty-One
Allegra
HURT AND ANGER RADIATE through me as I pace the small confines of my cell, focusing on my own emotions and trying to keep theirs from swallowing me whole.
Of course they’re resistance. And of course they’re friends with a beautiful and brave mage who plans to rescue them from this hellhole. And of course they want to stash me somewhere out of the way so they can go back to their lives of adventure and excitement and freedom while I’m stuck in just another prison.
Except this time my jailers would be those I love.
Since they are so intent on keeping their distance, why bother making any plans for me in the first place? They owe me nothing. I don’t want them to feel like I’m their unwanted responsibility they’re stuck dealing with even though none of us have any plans to build a proper life together.
I certainly don’t feel any responsibility to them.
I ignore the reminder from my brain how I certainly seemed to feel Sterling is my responsibility when I was enjoying my revenge on his behalf.
The soul bond does make it hard to completely ignore our mates, especially when we’re still in close proximity to them. I hate the way it keeps pushing me towards them, the way my nightingale refuses to give up hope no matter how uninterested and rude they are.
Zak shoves aside our rag door and ducks into our cell. “Are you all right?”
I stop pacing and face him with my hands clutched in front of me. “Frustrated, but I guess good?
I should be, at the knowledge we’re getting out of here. That everyone’s getting out of here.
It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of, every night when sleep eludes me.
Freedom.
Choice.
Revolution.
Vengeance.
And my mates are giving me that chance, with their mysterious and beautiful contact on the outside, powerful enough to handle making our collars useless, reuniting us with our Arcane sides, making us whole.
He steps in close to me and reaches out to rub his hands up and down my upper arms. “There’s nothing wrong with being frustrated. They’ve been making plans on your behalf without bothering to learn anything about you.”
I stare at a spot on his chest. “It’s not that. I don’t want them to know me. And I don’t care if they underestimate me. Most people do and it’s kept me alive longer.”
Zakar shoots me a skeptical look. “Then what is it?”
“I...” I trail off with a shrug.
I don’t know how to clarify. Even to myself.
“Does it have anything to do with their friend?” Zak asks.
I pull away from him, outrage making my jaw drop. “What? Of course not.”
At least, I don’t think that’s completely it. I don’t know. I just... am furious and hurt and outraged and annoyed and insecure. At least I think those are just my emotions.
He holds his hands up. “It’s understandable if it is. They’re your mates, regardless of how much you’re telling yourself you want nothing to do with them or how much you even mean it. Our Arcane sides are possessive and your nightingale believes they’re yours.
“Then why aren’t they getting possessive and offended over you?” I ask.
“Oh, they are. They hate me.” Zak sounds almost gleeful at the thought.
My brow creases. “What? I haven’t noticed anything.”
If anything, they barely seem to acknowledge his existence.
Which is also quite rude.
The corner of Zak’s lips curl. “They’re subtle and Archer isn’t too bad about it, but Gavyn and especially Sterling grind their teeth or scowl every time they see us together.”
“But they’re planning on sending us away together.”
If he’s right, their reaction makes no sense.
Though neither does mine to their pretty mage.
“Because they’re not fools and in case they are, I told them I’m with you. No matter what or where.”
My shoulders slump. I don’t deserve him. And expecting him to follow me wherever I go isn’t fair. Especially if I’m throwing myself into the path of danger.
“Are you sure you want to go with me? I’m not doing what they want and hiding away in safety. Maybe you should head off on your own, find your mate or mates.”
The thought of separating from him makes my throat close, but I want him to find happiness.
His jaw hardens and his head raises. “Not happening.”
“Zak...”
He shakes his head. “No. If I stumble across my mate one day, I’ll take it from there. But it may never happen. The humans have killed so many Arcanes, she or he’s probably dead. I’m not going to give you up on some slight chance I don’t even want.”
“You don’t want to find your mate?” I ask, surprised.
Since when?
“No.”
“Why?” I groan and let my head fall back, frustrated and baffled.
Nothing makes sense today.
He huffs. “I’ve told you a thousand times. I want the choice, not whoever or whatever is behind matings pushing me on someone.”
I sigh and slump, sadness sweeping through me. “You know it’s not like that.”
What I had with Rowan was so special. As painful as missing him is, I can’t regret accepting him. He was worth the pain.
“If it’s not, then maybe you should stop fighting too.” He raises a cocky brow.
The damn brat.
“Ugh. Fine.” I toss my hands into the air. “The two of us can run off into the sunset together with a big fat fuck you to our mates.’
He grins. “Works for me. But you accepting them does too.”
“Nope.” I roll my eyes. “So, what’s the plan you guys decided on after I left?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Allegra
BY THE END OF THE NEXT day, I’ve had the chance to gather ten flowers and stuff the blooms into my bra.
And there hasn’t been a single question about the dead guard.
It’s not the first time a guard has just disappeared. This isn’t a job they can just quit. It’s considered treason if they abandon their duty, but some still leave.
I’m convinced it’s why they’re so hateful to us. This isn’t exactly a pleasant and peaceful place to spend all your days, even for them.
Gavyn and I walk back to the dungeon together after our shift, Tahira is forced to stay behind with a couple others to handle a late night snack the guards are demanding.
Finally, I’m not getting every single one of his emotions. Or the emotions from the other two.
Every now and again a particularly strong feeling from one of them slips through, but after working all night and most of today on blocking them, my soul is finally mine again.
I hope once we’re out of here and away from each other, it won’t happen at all anymore.
There’s no way I can spend the rest of my life with their feelings interrupting my days.
The thought makes me shudder.
“How many did you get?” I keep my voice low and the question vague.
“Not sure, I just grabbed a handful and stuck them down my pants.” Gavyn’s hand reaches for the waistband of his pants, like he’s double checking it’s still there.
I can’t help the snort escaping me. He shrugs with a slight smile as he yanks away his hand from his crotch.
It’s the first time I’ve seen any fun humor from this one. Archer’s always ready with a joke and I doubt Sterling has a humorous bone in his body, the grumpy ass. But Gavyn always seems like the weight of the world rests on his shoulders and he doesn’t have time for foolishness unless it’s biting sarcasm. It’s good to see he isn’t quite so solemn all the time.
Not that it matters to me.
Though I have been curious how the three of them came to be so close. They’re so different. It can’t just be the resistance tossing them together.
Now’s as good of a time as any to get some answers.
“How did the three of you end up a team?”
He glances over at me before his eyes cloud with memories. “My grandmother took us all in when our parents were killed in the war.”
A pang hits me in the chest. I’m not sure if it’s his or mine.
The humans have taken so much from us. Made so many of us orphans. Broken up so many families. Ripped children from their parents’ arms. Kept mates apart. Ruined lives.
“Were they friends or something?”
He shakes his head. “No. We all came at different times. I was first at ten. Then Archer when I was fourteen and he was twelve. Last was Sterling when we were both sixteen. That was ten years ago. We have a sister too who came around the same time as him when she was eight. You met her last night.”
I skid to a halt, my eyes wide, something I don’t want to admit is relief sweeping through me. “Wait. What?”
His head tilts to the side as he frowns at me. “She’s obviously not a real sister, but we consider her one since she’s so much younger than us, we’ve always protected her.”
“Oh.” I duck my head and restart the walk across the yard.
Gavyn rushes to keep up. “Why do you sound so odd? Are you all right? She’s trustworthy I promise.”
“I’m sure she is. I guess I just assumed she was something else to you.” I peek at him from the corner or my eye, feeling foolish and young.
He shudders. “No. Definitely not.”
“But you don’t seem to see the others as brothers.”
If they were all raised together, why is she viewed as a sister while they view each other as occasional lovers?
I’ve seen the way they interact with each other. Especially the vampi
re and the incubus.
While I’m sure a lot of it is feeding their Arcane sides, if that’s all it was they would have made deals with others here like those in their situation usually do.
Gavyn shrugs. “They were almost adults when they came into our lives, so no it’s not a familial bond. But we all view Dara as a sister. Besides, she prefers women.”
“I see.” I clear my throat, not enjoying the relief still rising in me, growing stronger and stronger with each of his explanations.
Why I’m only feeling jealous of her instead of their relationships with each other, I have no idea.
It’s rather hypocritical.
Though I bet it’s because they’re all my mates. If she was one of them too, it probably wouldn’t bother me.
He smiles sweetly at me, but there’s a flicker of arrogant satisfaction in his eyes. “There’s no one else. That’s not why we’re against the bond.”
“Oh. Well, it doesn’t matter if there is. It’s none of my business.” I look down, my face heating.
I should’ve kept all my questions to myself since it’s led me to get way more personal than I planned.
“And how is your nightingale accepting that?” Gavyn asks in a wry tone.
I grumble at the reminder. “She’ll get over it eventually.”
She lets out a harsh call in my head, reminding me she’ll never get over it. She’ll never get over them.
“Right.” He draws out the word with an amused smirk before he sobers. “Tahira and Zakar told us a little about... your first mate.”
I flinch. Why the hell didn’t they tell me they spilled the beans?
My hands clutch at my clothes as I jerk at wrinkles and scrub at stains. “Loving me got him killed. You made the right choice staying away from me. I don’t need any patronizing explanations. We get out of here and we go our separate ways. Nothing’s changed.”
I hurry away from him, pushing through inmates and getting into the front of the group so I’m one of the first to the dungeon door.
Where I find the three inmates who were forced into the open cages crumpled on the ground.
