by Rayne, Piper
“Ever wake up and think how did I get here?” I ask in a soft voice. I’ve envisioned what my life could’ve been without Jeff in the picture. I’d never take away the four blessings upstairs, but what would’ve happened if I’d never agreed to move to Arizona? If we would’ve raised our kids in the same small town where we grew up?
“After Laurie’s death, I’d be up late after the kids went to bed and think ‘How did I become a widower in my thirties?’ But usually a kid would wake up with a nightmare. I really just got Chevelle to sleep in her own bed this past year since the incident.” He doesn’t look as though he’s on the verge of tears.
“Where did you meet her?” I never really knew Laurie since she wasn’t from Sunrise Bay.
A smile comes to his lips. “She was from up north. Came here for school. We met in Psych 101.”
“And that was it, huh? You two were inseparable?”
He closes his toolbox, locks it, and faces me, crouching. “No. I wasn’t ready for a long time. We were study partners, turned friends, turned more. It was a slow process.”
I wonder what might have caused him to go so slow.
He shrugs and answers my thoughts. “I was kind of hung up on someone.”
“Oh.”
He raises his eyebrows at me, and I nod, remembering how close we became our senior year. Jeff was at college and had asked Hank to look after me. He did, but neither of us expected that feelings could develop between us. I denied them, but Hank wore them out in the open. In the end, I broke his heart by leaving for Arizona shortly after graduation.
I say nothing because sorry seems stupid. It’s been over twenty years and he’s had a happy marriage and a family in the time since then.
“When I found out you were returning, Laurie’s reaction flickered through my mind. What would she think if she was still alive? In a small way, I think she was jealous of you.”
I scoff. “As you clearly saw this morning, there’s nothing to be jealous of.”
He nods and stands to his full height, taking the light from my hands. The dim light coming from the bottom of the stairs becomes our only light source after he turns off the construction light.
“I should go,” he says. Something in his voice makes me think it’s like torture for him to be here with me.
“Okay.” I struggle for breath. Having him so near feels overwhelming in this moment.
Then he steps closer. Visions of his heated gaze this morning flicker to mind and I meet him halfway. His hand touches my hip and I turn into him, my face tilting up to meet his.
He bends down and my tongue slides out to wet my lips, preparing for him to kiss me. Just as my eyes are about to fall closed, he presses his lips to my cheek.
“I’m glad you’re back, Marla,” he whispers before stepping back and bending to retrieve his toolbox and light.
Then he’s waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me to go up first, and embarrassment floods my body that I actually thought he was going to kiss me. How stupid can I be? More than twenty years, a deceased wife, a divorce, and nine kids between us does not make for a romance.
We reach the top of the stairs and find Adam, Posey, and Mandi at the kitchen table playing Uno while Jed and Nikki are nowhere to be found.
“Would you like some pizza?” I ask.
“No, thank you. I have my chili waiting at home.” He lifts his toolbox. “I’m going to put this in the truck and then grab the old water heater. Do you think Jed could help me?”
“Oh, definitely. Yeah.” I walk away from him to the bottom of the stairs. “Jed!”
“What?” he calls down.
“Mist… Hank needs your help.” I look back. “Is that okay if he calls you by your first name?”
He chuckles, glancing up from the table. “Yeah. I guess we’re in uncharted territory here. I’ll be right back.”
Jed comes down the stairs and, surprisingly, helps Hank get the old rusty water heater out from the basement without offending anyone. Maybe because football wasn’t part of the conversation. Jed really is a good kid, but his arrogance at his athletic ability is grating, even to me. It’s all thanks to his father putting his only son up on a pedestal his entire life.
“Thanks, Jed,” Hank says after they come back in.
“Sure thing.” Jed runs up the stairs.
Since the kids are almost done with their current hand, Hank and I stand uncomfortably in the kitchen, waiting, cloaked in awkwardness.
“I see you got the concession stand volunteer form.” Hank points at the papers on the fridge.
“Yeah. I’m dreading it.”
He nods. “How do you think I feel? I’m the only dad who does it, and I always get stuck with Donna Sullivan.”
“At least it’s not Donna Demonte. I ran into her today at the drop-off.”
He laughs. “She does love her whistle. But Donna Sullivan is Donna Demonte. She married—”
“Bill Sullivan?” I ask with a laugh. His smirk and nod saying we’re on the same wavelength. “She married the pothead who almost didn’t graduate?”
He returns my smile. “They fell in love after they returned from college. You won’t even recognize him now.” He taps his fingers on the paper. “I think I’m going to sign up for the first game so that I don’t have to worry about the later games in the season in case they make it far this year.”
I think he gives me a look like “maybe you want to as well,” but I must be reading his body language wrong after downstairs. “That makes sense.”
“Plus Donna never does the first home game because she’s too busy with introducing the team and making banners for them to run through. She puts stakes with players names along the grass and decorates the fence. It’s a whole ordeal. So if you sign up, it would save both of us from having to do it with Donna.”
“That sounds like a good idea.”
“Out!” Posey yells and puts her last card down on the stack in the middle.
“You’re good.” Adam stands and walks over to his dad’s side. “I’m ready.”
Hank puts his hands on Adam’s shoulders, the affection between father and son obvious. “We’ll leave you to your night then.”
Hank turns and heads toward the front door. I rush past them and open the door. I watch them get in the truck and pull out of the driveway until his lights fade away.
“I’m taking a shower,” Posey says, and she and Mandi go upstairs.
I take out my pen and look at the volunteer form. Am I asking for trouble? The pen hovers over the first home game spot. That tension is clearly still present with us and we’re both single, which means there’s nothing to really keep us apart. But he’s technically my cousin by marriage.
Arguing starts upstairs between Posey and Nikki, Jed slams his door, then Mandi yells at him. Without second-guessing myself, I scribble my name on the first home game night. It’s just so I’m not stuck with Donna. At least that’s what I’m choosing to believe.
The first football home game is fucking freezing. Adam, Chevelle, and Xavier sit on the bleachers to watch their brothers play. Although Fisher was called up from JV to varsity for this game, he most likely won’t play. They just wanted extra players since Greywall is known for playing rough.
Donna is arranging candy bars and chip stacks beside me in the concession stand.
“I got this, Donna. You go and do whatever else you need to.” Please.
Her hand falls to my forearm. “I don’t know where Marla is, and I hate to leave you by yourself.”
“I’m sure she’ll be here soon. Plus, I’ve been doing this for three years. I can handle it.”
“If you’re sure?” She squeezes my forearm, or more my jacket and sweatshirt underneath.
“Promise.” I slide my arm out of her hand. Sometimes I wonder if she forgets she’s married.
“Okay then.”
Just as Donna goes to the back door, Marla appears in the front. She’s wearing spirit wear that I assume is her d
ad or mom’s, or maybe back from when we attended Sunrise Bay High. She has on a black hat with a gold ball on top and bears embroidered along the front. She even has the mittens with bears on top.
“Where did you find all that?” I laugh, signaling for her to go to the back door.
When she walks in wearing tight jeans that show off her amazing curves and boots with a furry lining up to her calves. She looks adorable, and I want to shut the door on the concession stand and warm this place up with some body heat.
“My mom’s closet. She throws away nothing.” She holds up her mittens and shows me how they flip open to be fingerless gloves. “So I can handle the money.”
“Awesome. I’ll have to grab a pair of those.”
“Don’t be jealous. I’ll share.” She looks around, reads the labels for coffee, hot chocolate, and apple cider. “So the prices are all here?”
I nod. I can tell this isn’t her first time running a concession stand. “Where are your kids?”
“They’re in the bleachers, but I worry they’re going to end up in here. They’re still getting used to the cold.”
“They can sit in here if they want.”
She gives me an appreciative smile that makes her dimples deepen. “Thanks, but Posey wants to see the action.”
As she says that, Donna Demonte-Sullivan’s voice rings out over the speaker. “And now we welcome our Grizzly Bears. First up…”
She introduces the lineup, Cade and Jed both being referred to as quarterback. Marla grows quiet. I’m sure she’s aware that in a small town like ours, there’s no need for two quarterbacks. One of them will play the majority of the games with the other only playing when we’re already winning or if the other is hurt.
Cade hasn’t been himself since Jed arrived. Jed’s been used more in practice, and I tried to explain to Cade that Jed needs to learn the plays, the passes, what the other players excel and don’t excel at. Those are all things Cade already knows from playing with this team for three years. But all he sees when he looks at Jed is his replacement.
Reese comes to the front window, all bundled up. “Hi, Mr. Greene.”
“Hi, Reese. Can I get you something?”
She looks at the candy, but it’s clear—since she’s here without her friends—that she might not be here just for a refreshment before the game starts. Her vision strays to Marla, who is clapping for each boy being introduced, even though no one will hear her.
“This is Mrs. Greene, Jed’s mom,” I introduce them.
Marla sets her attention on Reese with a small wave. “Nice to meet you, Reese.”
“You too, Mrs. Greene,” she says and grabs a Snickers bar, leaving a dollar on the counter. “Thanks.”
Marla watches Reese walk away. “Is she okay?”
“She was Cade’s girlfriend until two weeks ago.”
Marla’s shoulders sink. “Jed?”
I shake my head. “No. Not that I know of. She was looking at Jed the first day and Cade took it as interest and broke up with her. He can be impulsive at times.”
She sits on one of the stools. “Do you think it’s their age?”
“I hope so. I mean, Cade’s a good kid, but until Jed came here, Cade never had to deal with feeling threatened.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s a life lesson for him. Cade… hell, after Laurie passed, all my kids sort of became this entire town’s kids. They baby them like I don’t have enough love to give them. And how can I blame them?”
“Maybe they feel like a mother’s love is irreplaceable.”
I nod. She’s right about that. Although I think I’ve done a pretty damn good job, they still lost their mother. “I suppose so, but I prefer the tough love approach. This is good for Cade.”
“It’s good for Jed too. As unmotherly as it sounds, I wouldn’t mind him being dropped down a peg or two, so he understands that he won’t always stand on top.”
“So we won’t let this thing with our kids interfere with our friendship?” I ask.
Another winning smile creases her lips. All the memories of our senior year, when I hoped she’d pick me and not go back to Jeff, resurface. How much I didn’t want to cross that line, but at the same time, I did more than anything. Is it a coincidence that we’re here now, both single and able to cross that line without repercussions, or is it fate?
But maybe I’m naïve to think there would be no repercussions. Would the kids understand? The town? I’m not so sure.
“Are we friends?” A blush tints her cheeks and her fingers fidget.
“We’ve always been friends.”
Her smile widens and a rush of happiness hits me. If I were the reason for that look on her face for the rest of my days, I’d die a happy man. Can two people really pick right up where they left off after so many years and so many experiences apart from one another? As suddenly as the happiness hit me, the guilt that I’m feeling this way about someone other than Laurie weighs me down. I push both feelings to the side for now to examine later.
We run the concession stand like an art. Marla takes the orders and the money, and I fill them. The Sunrise Bay side is cheering nonstop because Jed really is one hell of a quarterback. At least it seems that way based on the five minutes I saw him play when I asked Marla if she minded if I stepped out.
Coach decided to play Cade one quarter, Jed the next, and so forth. They’re two completely different players. Cade runs the plays and he’s more patient, whereas Jed reads the field well, but he throws the ball away more often because of his lack of patience for the play to pan out. Cade stands on the sidelines, his shoulders stiff, his lips a straight line. It’s hard to watch your kids learn a lesson, but it’s better for him in the long run.
In the end, the Sunrise Bay Bears win thirty-six to twenty-two with both quarterbacks responsible for an equal amount of touchdowns.
“So are you going straight home after this?” Marla asks. “Do people still head to The Hideout?”
I laugh. “I think the kids head over to Pizza Barn now. Did you guys eat dinner? We could all go.”
Her lips twist as she thinks it over.
“It’s pizza, Marla.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Sure. Let’s do it.”
I do my best not to think about “doing it” with Marla, but that proves impossible.
* * *
“You know, Xavier’s got quite an arm.” Ned Turner clasps my shoulder as I wait for a table to clear out. “He was playing on the side of the bleachers with a few boys and it was quite impressive.”
“Thanks. I guess that’s the benefit of having two older brothers who play.”
“Definitely, and this whole Cade versus Jed thing will turn in your favor.” He winks. “I know it.”
Sometimes I hate small towns. As if I’d be hung up on this and stay up at night, worrying if my son is going to play quarterback his senior year. There are so many more important things in life. “There’s room for both. They’re both talented.”
“Oh, definitely.” He leans in close, and the smell of alcohol on his breath burns my nostril hairs. I love Ned, he’s our insurance guy in town, but he takes Friday night football way too seriously. “Between you and me, Cade’s better.”
Marla walks in with her kids, and Ned turns toward her.
“Marla Greene!” He opens his arms.
Posey grabs her mom’s hand and pulls her back, not allowing her to welcome a hug from Ned. I snicker.
Marla gives him a wave. “Hi Ned. Good to see you.”
“We’ll have to catch up sometime. And be sure to come see me if you need insurance.” He grabs his business card out of his jacket pocket and presents it to Marla as though it’s a black Amex. “Call me.”
She shoves it into her purse. “Sure thing. Thanks.”
“I mean, I’m sure Jeff used to handle it, but—”
Marla raises her hand. “Thanks, Ned.”
He takes the hint and walks away, finding some
one else to talk to.
Marla does a quick round of introductions before she says, “I’m starving.”
“I’m finally warming up. I couldn’t feel my fingers,” Mandi says.
“I see a girl from science class. Can I go over there?” Nikki asks.
“Sure,” Marla tells her.
“My kids are in the game section. Want to play?” I pull some dollar bills out of my back pocket.
“You sure do know how to win a girl over,” Posey says with her hand out.
“Pos, I have money.” Marla digs in her purse, but I put five singles in Posey’s hand and look at Mandi.
“Fine,” she says, and I hand her five too.
“I’ll pay you back,” Marla says.
I wave her off and head to a table in the back big enough for all of us but far enough from the football team.
“Thanks.” She takes off her jacket, and I’m rewarded with the sight of a sweater that’s snug around her breasts. She peruses the restaurant and sits down across from me. “So is this place new?”
“Newer. Built after you guys left.”
It’s an old barn that was converted into a pizza place. Everyone loves it, and it’s so big it easily handles a lot of people, especially on Friday nights.
“It’s huge.” She looks around, giving me the opportunity to really look at her without her knowing.
A waitress comes by, and after much discussion about what every kid eats, we order pizzas.
“Wine or beer?” I ask Marla.
“I’ll just have beer.”
“A pitcher then,” I tell the waitress.
She leaves, and my eyes linger on the team table. Cade’s not even socializing, and Jed is being the life of the damn party. Cade’s gotta snap out of this.
Marla follows my line of vision and huffs before turning around. “I think Jeff taught him he always has to be on. Like he can’t relax and just be himself. I try to tell him to tame it down a little, that people will like him for him, but you remember Jeff.”
The one thing I hate about this situation is Jeff is always a topic of conversation. Will this be how it is if something were to happen between us? I have to be okay with that because he’s their dad regardless.
