The final bell had released everyone. I grabbed my backpack and marched from the building, careful to keep my eyes above everyone’s heads. The afternoon lighting hid behind thunderous clouds and I wished for the return of our sunny days.
Going on the bus the four miles to the apartments would be ideal if people weren’t staring at me as I passed by the yellow vehicle. They wanted me on there. They would torment me and after the comments and the stares all day, I was fast reaching my tipping point.
Walking wouldn’t be hard. In fact, the activity would be preferable to what I was doing right then. Maybe I could work off the stress of the last week or four months.
School wasn’t somewhere I wanted to be – ever. The first day I took my shirt off. My shirt. In a bold attempt to show I wasn’t afraid of the idiots at that damned school. I might have proved myself but my plan to appear brave had backfired when that seemed to bring out the meanest of the group.
Instead, all I got was a lot of catcalling and disgusting looks from the guys as well as some of the teachers. There was no doubt what they wanted to do me.
Fine. Whatever.
I could deal with it.
The worst over the last few days since I’d started ESA was Jaxon. Him and his dark eyes that saw everything, noted everything, and yet he said nothing.
Every night I threw my backpack on the twin bed with cheap cotton bedding. My hands shook. His eyes. He didn’t have to do anything except sit in the back of the room with his hair across his forehead and those eyes of his watching me.
He watched me with a hunger I couldn’t describe. He was Braddox and yet he wasn’t. There was something steady in him I could sense like a fire that burned consistently.
Braddox was like a bolt of lightning. His intensity was selfish and hot and once he got what he wanted, he disappeared. I wasn’t stupid. That’s why he never got anywhere but making out with me.
Not that I didn’t want to. He was hot and attentive and everything I craved. He just would’ve burned out and disappeared. If I wanted to keep him around, I had to hold the carrot just out of his reach.
None of that mattered. He wasn’t an option anymore, anyway. Not only because I didn’t go to WSA anymore, but because… we weren’t in the same league. I had no money, no prospects for my future, no nothing. He’d gotten into a huge school and I couldn’t afford the one I wanted.
Depressed, I kicked a rock out of my way on the cracked cement sidewalk and continued walking slowly down the main part of the east end of Shores. Fighting the way I craved Braddox and everything we had between us, I was grateful for the small break. I was grateful anyway until I’d discovered Jaxon. How was I supposed to get my cravings under control for Braddox when I couldn’t even get my thoughts off Jaxon.
How would I explain my attraction to Jaxon, if I was with Braddox? Braddox would say I felt things for Jaxon because they were twins and I was transferring my feelings for Brax to his brother. Which could very well be true. I wouldn’t deny that they looked the same and I loved the way Brax looked.
The cool spring air tugged at my hair and I reached up, shoving it behind my shoulder and off my face.
The last few days had been filled with rain and clouds and no sign of the sun. Large puddles spanned across the roads where they dipped beneath the weight of the asphalt and vehicles over time. When another car drove by, the puddles shook and shimmered, breaking up the reflection of the clouds.
For the most part, the cars veered around the puddles, avoiding splashing through them and getting me wet in the process. I lifted my hand each time in gratitude.
I couldn’t move too far from the road. While there was a sidewalk, it didn’t get to keep its space very much as rundown businesses encroached out onto the gray and faded squares. A second hand store had clearance wares set up on racks in the middle of the walkway. I inhaled as I stepped into the muddy street to get around them.
Back on the sidewalk, I crossed my arms and continued walking, ignoring the sound of another car engine coming from behind.
This one didn’t go around me as it drove directly through the deep puddle on my right.
Cold gritty water splashed over me in an arcing motion that started with my back and finished with my front. Hair clung to my skin and my white shirt had taken on a dingy gray-brown color.
I bit my lip to fight the expletive begging to come out. I was soaked and the breeze was suddenly much colder than it had been moments before. Water leaked down into my shoes. I grimaced at the squishing sound it made as it sucked against my toes while I walked.
I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t cry.
“Go back to the west side, you skanky whore!” The rusted-out Ford truck thundered by, black smoke billowing from the pitted exhaust.
I wanted to yell back, rage at them, rail at the injustice that I was getting treated like I was and for no reason.
Yet… the reason was clear. I couldn’t deny understanding why I was so hated. When I went to WSA, I would have done the same thing to someone who got in on scholarship – not that West Shores did that kind of thing. But the person without money would have been hazed over and over because of the status of their bank account. Nothing else seemed to matter in Shores. Either you had money or you didn’t. End of story.
I didn’t have to do anything to deserve what was happening. The shit happening to me was just happening because of what my dad did. Was the rest of my life going to be reflective of his decisions? Was I going to be like the puddles on the road and shake and tremble at the slightest possibility of a trial or even explode when someone got too close?
No. I could handle this. I just had to deal with it and keep my dignity intact.
Clenching my jaw and pursing my lips, I wiped at the extra moisture on my face. I glanced around, eyeing the shops around me. I needed to see if I could get cleaned up before I walked the rest of the four miles between my place and school. This wasn’t how I wanted to end my day.
“Crenshaw’s Motors” had been painted in block letters on a sign that hung in a square from an iron rod over an open garage door. Two other wooden garage doors sat closed and the man-sized door had been left ajar just feet from me. Tires leaned against the exterior walls and a shiny hubcap topped a pile of metal pieces discarded between garage doors.
Maybe they would have a bathroom. If I could just clean up a little bit, I wouldn’t have to be worried about getting bothered on the way home. The last thing I needed was someone making comments about wet t-shirts or something. To say I was worried about being raped was an understatement.
I clutched the strap of my backpack higher up my shoulder and splurched and splotched inside.
A counter, surprisingly clean in the middle of a mechanic’s shop, offered a place to hold a computer and phone. Pictures of various vehicles plastered on the back wall gave a backdrop for a neon sign and a mirror running the length of the counter. Cement flooring devoid of linoleum led into two restrooms and an office as well as a door that led into the garage area.
“Hello?” I just wanted to get my hair drier. The continual stream of cold water down my back was getting to me. Irritation gripped me and I took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I’m coming, just a sec.” The husky voice pulled me up short. What was I supposed to do? I recognized the voice that sent shivers up my spine. I hadn’t heard him speak since my first day at ESA, but Jaxon’s voice left an impression I woke up to late at night.
I shook my head and spun, desperate to get out of there before he saw me as the mess I’d walked in as.
Too late as he turned the corner from the garage, wiping an oily rag on his strong hands. The blue and gray coveralls showcased Jaxon’s broad shoulders and I swallowed before turning all the way back to face the counter.
Motioning toward the restrooms, I bit my lip. “Would it be okay, if I used the ladies’ room?” I waved my hand at my wet outfit and tried to smile. “I’ve had an… incident.” That was putting it mildly. I had to hope he would try t
o help me in the normal world outside of the terrorizing hallways of the high school he lorded over.
He furrowed his brow, his eyes scanning me from dripping head to soaked shoes. As his eyes trailed back up my body, his eyes stopped at my chest and something darkened in his already deep gaze.
I glanced down to see what had captured his attention. My white shirt was plastered to my skin and the white bra beneath did nothing to hide my tightening nipples. I refused to hide in shame, not lifting my hands to cover what he obviously couldn’t look away from.
He finally raised his gaze to mine. Something easily defined in his expression took my breath away.
Leaning on the counter, he set the rag down and folded his arms and cocked his head to the side. “We don’t have a ladies’ room.”
I blinked at his answer and licked my lips, suddenly not caring that my tits were basically bare for him to see. “You seriously aren’t going to let me use the bathroom? You can see what happened to me. It’s not like I’m here to cause problems.” Why was he being so unnecessarily rude? I hadn’t done anything to him. If anything, I’d kissed him. Wouldn’t that get me some kind of points or something?
“No. We really don’t have a ladies’ room. Crenshaw tore it out and made it a storage space.” Jaxon moved around me and opened the door. “You’ll dry outside better than in here.”
He was dismissing me. I refused to ask about the other one. He wasn’t going to offer it and I wasn’t going to ask.
I moved to stand in front of him as he took up the space in the doorway. He was inches from me and I could almost feel the heat from his lips as the memory of our mistaken kiss swirled inside me. I looked up at him, taking in the opening of his collar and the shadowed angle of his jaw so close I could touch him. “Why do you hate me so much?”
Jaxon narrowed his eyes, his jaw ticking as he moved closer to me. He invaded my space and I refused to back up. He wasn’t going to know he intimidated me. Not if it killed me.
His breath wafted over me, minty like he’d been chewing gum. Bracing a hand above my head he stared down into my eyes. “You don’t matter enough to hate, West Side. Now, get out of here, before I decide to do what your body obviously wants me to.” He turned into the garage, letting his elbow graze across my breasts.
I inhaled sharply. How dare he? He didn’t know what my body wanted. Hell, I didn’t know what my body wanted.
Keeping my chin up, I turned, storming from the shop. The entire walk home I held my pace, long strides carrying me in my thunderous distraction.
Swinging my arms, I focused on getting to the apartments. That’s all I needed to do. Get there and hide in my room. I hated that it was on the ground floor. I hated that my mom and I had a small two bedroom and I could hear when she left and when she used the shower. There was no real privacy, even when I closed the doors. But after school, she would still be at work.
The apartment was empty except for me. I would be able to sit and relax for a little bit after the hell school had become.
After the hell I’d had to face at the shop with Jaxon.
Why was he so mean? I didn’t understand what I’d done to him.
Dropping my dripping sweatshirt onto the decorative table Mom had placed outside the front door, I used my key to get into the apartment. I locked the door behind me, abandoning my bag on the floor by the door. Flopping onto the couch, I took a deep breath and let myself sink into the cushions.
My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out, gripping it in my hand before turning it over.
Was it Braddox? Was it possible he’d finally decided to contact me again? Part of me missed him and his demanding ways. I kind of liked that when I wasn’t sure what I wanted he’d tell me. Other times I found it smothering because I did know what I wanted and his opinion differed.
Hearing from him, though, would definitely help soothe the wounds from his brother’s treatment.
What pissed me off the most about Jaxon was the fact that he had no qualms studying my body, but he had every issue with being a gentleman to me. He didn’t have to be my friend. I just wanted respect.
Apparently, that was too much to ask.
As much as I would like to talk to Braddox and feel wanted, even for a little bit, my pride would never let me call him. Not when I’d already lost so much in that department.
I turned the phone over, swiping the screen and pulling up my texts.
Party at Donnie’s, Friday. Let’s go! I’ll pick you up.
Stephanie never let me down. We had the kind of friendship that didn’t need to be coddled every day. We texted when we needed each other or had something to say. Steph attended West Shores and hadn’t flinched when I’d told her I was changing schools and had to move. She’d just shrugged and winked, declaring the pool of guys had just opened up.
Not that she’d in any way deign to date an ESA guy. Screw him, yes, date him, no.
I replied with a heart and a thumbs up. Something good to look forward to over the next two days of hell ahead of me. I wasn’t stupid. Things weren’t going to get easier. Not for a while.
And not while Jaxon was in all my classes.
Maybe I needed to screw Braddox to get Jaxon out of my head. I couldn’t think of much else. Even my nights were filled with that damn kiss and the things he’d done with his hands. I could still feel his fingers at my waist.
I jerked upright on the couch, running my fingers through my long hair. Closing my eyes, I took a shuddering breath. I needed to get him out of my system and fast before I lost my control.
Just the thought of what I’d dreamt of doing to him in the middle of class was enough to have me shedding my clothes and climbing into a cold shower. The puddle water splashed on me hadn’t been enough to cool me down.
Even the way the asshole had treated me wasn’t enough. My body apparently didn’t understand the difference between good lust and dirty lust.
My longing for Jaxon was definitely dirty. There was nothing good there for me. He was mean and tolerant of the wrong things. I didn’t need to have that in my life. I didn’t need to have him in my dreams.
Yeah, screwing Braddox might be what I needed. Then Brax would disappear from my life, taking my craving for Jaxon with him.
The spray of cold water beat down on my skin, cooling my ardor. I had to think of something else besides the O’Donnell brothers.
My sanity demanded it of me.
I’d have to spend the rest of the night doing homework. The makeup work would be easy, I just had to do it. Maybe watching a movie and waiting for Mom to get home would be enough to occupy my thoughts.
If not, I was going to go crazy with the conflicting emotions about Jaxon, Braddox, and just what I was supposed to do to help my mom after Dad died.
Nope.
Not right then. I couldn’t face that loss just yet. It was too much. Too painful and I wasn’t ready to ugly cry.
Not when my dad died in his helicopter and he and I had gotten in a huge fight right before he’d left.
Nah. I’d rather go back to school naked and stand in front of the football team, then dwell on my dad’s death.
Next!
Chapter 5
Jaxon
I splashed cold water on my face in the bathroom at the shop. Cupping my hands under the running faucet, I splashed more. Nothing was working.
I couldn’t get the image of Olivia’s breasts through her wet shirt out of my head. If her goal was to drive me insane, she was succeeding.
She wasn’t an option for me. I couldn’t even talk to her, no matter how much I wanted to. What made her tick? Why was she at East Shores when she’d been at West? I didn’t get why Braddox would let someone like her out of his sight. She had this skin that almost glowed. I wanted to reach out and skim my fingers down her neck to see if her skin was as silky as it looked. Velvet. That’s what she looked like.
Every time I’d had the opportunity to touch her, which wasn’t nearly enough, my head expl
oded with a high I’d never be able to replicate.
“You done for the night?” Old man Crenshaw poked his head around the door frame and arched a shaggy eyebrow my way. He had more wrinkles on his face than whiskers and he wasn’t much older than my dad. The years of chain smoking had gotten to him, or so he claimed.
I nodded, staring at him in the mirror while ignoring the flush in my cheeks. “Yeah, I’ll lock up.”
“Good. The missus is making meatloaf and taters tonight. You’re welcome to come by and eat up. You know she makes more than she should.” He winked at me, reaching out to pat my shoulder before he ducked out of the shop.
I probably would. Homecooked meals were a thing of the past for me. My mom hadn’t cooked anything but ramen and mac’n’cheese in years. Before living on the east side with her, we’d had a cook and numerous maids that did all that for us. They still did all that for my dad and Braddox.
I clenched my jaw and shook my head as I wiped my face with a brown paper towel. Throwing it in the garbage, I flicked off the lights and locked up the shop.
Damn Olivia. Showing up like she had at the shop. I didn’t need her to know any more about me than absolutely necessary – just what I showed at school. She was probably spying on me to Braddox. She’d go home and tell him all about me working with a mechanic.
Would that be before or after he got to see her in the wet white shirt?
I’d wanted to let her use the bathroom. I did. But… the things she was already doing to me, I couldn’t allow. In fact, I’d have to step it up, if I wanted to push her away from me and the other students of ESA. Not that she was making a lot of friends there.
Out behind the shop, I climbed into my El Camino, grinning as the engine started and purred smoothly. Cars I understood. Cars didn’t have dark nipples staring at me from under a wet white shirt.
Forsaken: A bully romance (An Academy Twin Rivalry Series Book 1) Page 4
