by Lauren Smith
Nathan nodded hastily.
“Excellent. What a relief this is. Seven daughters. Seven! Not one married until now. Thank heavens for mistletoe.” She jabbed an imperious finger in the air. Nathan and Thea looked up. The doorway a few feet away had a large bough of mistletoe nailed to the frame. Neither he nor Thea had noticed its very obvious placement. They’d been too distracted by the drama of their reunion.
“You must come inside before you catch a cold. Thea, you should dance with His Grace again. I’m sure everyone will want to see you together now that you are to be married. Finally,” Mrs. Swann added heavily at the end, shooting an unimpressed look at Nathan.
He felt like a boy stealing candied chestnuts from the kitchen. Clearly he would spend the next several years working his way into his future mother-in-law’s good graces. He actually looked forward to the opportunity.
Thea slid her hand into his, her fingers lacing between his own. He raised their joined hands to his lips and brushed a kiss over her knuckles.
“Well, I’d better go speak with your father,” he murmured as they followed Mrs. Swann and Lady Barrington back inside.
“Let me speak to him first,” Thea whispered.
“I suppose that’s a good idea. I doubt he’s forgiven me for breaking your heart.” Nathan didn’t relish the idea of facing Mr. Swann, but it was the right thing to do. He squared his shoulders, and with Thea on his arm, he was ready to face anything that came, even a rightly furious future father-in-law.
7
Thea was trembling as she and Nathan entered Pemberton Hall together, arm in arm. The tongues would begin to wag the moment they were spotted, but she didn’t care. After all these years, the loneliness. She had the other half of her heart back.
“Your father is this way,” her mother said more gently now that they were indoors.
They entered the edge of the ballroom, and Thea spotted her father.
“I’ll go and fetch him,” her mother said. “Wait here.”
Nathan leaned in to whisper to her. “Why do I feel so bloody nervous?”
“Because you know he’s going to be angry. That’s why I must speak to him first.”
Thea watched her mother stop her father in the middle of a conversation, and their heads touched briefly as they shared a hushed conversation, then her father spun to look toward them.
“Oh dear,” she murmured at the black look upon her father’s face.
“Oh dear indeed,” Nathan echoed.
Her father stormed toward them, sending dancers scattering as he crossed the middle of the ballroom floor. Everyone looked at him in confusion, but he didn’t seem to care.
“Hastings,” he greeted gruffly, but there was no warmth in his tone.
“Mr. Swann,” Nathan replied.
“I hear you seek a private audience with me?” Her father finally looked her way.
“He does. But, Papa, I must speak with you first. I insist upon it.”
“Very well. Sir Giles won’t mind us using the library.” He led Thea and Nathan to the library, and then after Thea followed him inside, her father shut the door in Nathan’s face.
“My dear girl,” her father said more gently. “What is this about marriage? When your mother said she’d found you two . . . er . . . reacquainting yourselves, I didn’t quite believe her.”
“I needed to speak with you to tell you what happened that day eight years ago when Nathan came to the house to propose to me.”
“I’m listening.” Her father leaned against one of the nearest reading tables, his arms crossed.
“He’d gone to his father that morning seeking permission to ask me to marry him, and the old duke said no. Not only that but he threatened our family, Papa. He threatened to buy up your debts—which, if you recall, at the time were fairly significant—and he said he would throw Mama and my sisters out into the cold to . . . earn their living in what ways they could. When Nathan was told this, he knew he couldn’t marry me, for the sake of you and everyone else in our family. He told me the truth that day—he never kept it from me—but it didn’t make losing him any easier. I don’t know how many times I wished in vain that he had broken my heart because he was a cruel man, not a noble one. It would have been easier to forget, to move on if that had been the case, but it wasn’t.” She had spent the last eight years on meaningful work for the poor, as well as helping manage her sisters and spending time with her friends. It had been a good life, but it wasn’t complete without Nathan.
Her father was silent a long moment. “And now that old Hastings is dead, the year of mourning is up, and he’s come for you.”
“That’s just it, Papa. He didn’t know I was unwed. He made me vow to marry another, to love another, but you know I couldn’t. I saw him tonight, and it was as though I were eighteen again. It was the same for him. We spoke out on the terrace, and I told him that I hadn’t married.” She blushed at how quickly things had led to that explosive kiss, but she didn’t dare share that with her father. “He proposed immediately.”
“And that was when your mother found you . . .”
“Yes.”
“Thea, you are my darling girl, the first of that wild brood of sisters. You know how deeply I love you. I simply cannot part with you to any man, not until I’m certain of your happiness.”
“I know.” Her throat constricted. “Seeing him tonight, brought me such unspeakable joy. I cannot tell you now how I feel knowing that the dreams that held the pieces of my heart together all these years will now come true. It’s as though my entire soul is bathed in the most glorious light.” Kissing Nathan, being in his arms, had chased away every shadow of the past that lay between them.
Her father blinked rapidly and rubbed at his eyes. “Well, I can’t stand in the way of that, now can I?”
“You could, but you won’t.” She sniffled and tried to smile.
“My darling girl,” he said again and cupped her cheek. “What will I do in the house when it’s only your mother and sisters?” he teased her, and she laughed.
“You will laugh and roll your eyes, as you’ve always done. Besides, Nathan’s home is so very close.”
“It is, thank God for that.” He sighed. “All right, let me speak to the boy.”
Thea was the one who rolled her eyes this time. “He’s twenty-eight, Father. He’s not a boy.”
“As long as I’m still alive, and therefore older, he’s a damned boy.” Her father’s gruff tone was more playful than not.
Thea stepped into the hallway and found Nathan pacing on the oriental rug in the corridor.
“Everything go all right?” he asked.
“Yes, he’ll see you now.”
Nathan swiftly kissed her, and with a charming smile, he stepped into the library and closed the door.
Thea pressed herself against the door, attempting—and failing—to hear the words spoken between the two men she loved most.
“Thea?”
She spun at the sound of Lewis’s voice. “Oh, Lewis, you frightened me.”
He chuckled as he joined her at the closed door. “I say, are you eavesdropping? Who’s inside?”
Thea stifled a giggle. “It’s your brother—and my father.”
“Nathan and your . . . By God, tell me the news is good?”
“The news is very good,” she assured him.
Lewis’s eyes lit up with joy. “Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I’m so glad to hear that.” Then he winked. “Didn’t I tell you to have just one dance with him?”
Thea looked up at him. “Did you know he thought I had married?”
“I thought he knew you hadn’t married—but then again, we never spoke of you. It wasn’t allowed while Father was alive. And after he passed, Nathan did so very little talking at all to anyone. It was a bloody miracle I even got him to come to this ball tonight.”
Thea clutched Lewis’s hands. “If you hadn’t, we might never have . . .” She couldn’t bear to finish the thought. He seeme
d to realize it too.
“But he came. And everything is going to be well now, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Her eyes burned with fresh tears. “It is.”
The door to the library opened, and Nathan stepped out and caught sight of them.
“Ah, brother, I hear congratulations are in order?” Lewis held out a hand.
“Indeed they are. In fact, we have, with some persuasion, the ability to be married tomorrow on Christmas Day.” He turned to Thea. “Your father didn’t think you would mind a quick wedding. I don’t wish to wait another minute, and while I can’t get to London for a special license, I can certainly pay the local church for a new roof, perhaps, or new hymnals—something that will let us skip the banns.”
“I don’t mind a quick ceremony. I think I brought a suitable gown, but I’ll need to speak with my mother to make sure.”
“Excellent.” Nathan held out his hand. “Now, with that settled, I believe I’m owed a fair dozen dances.”
“Won’t that set the gossipers on fire?” she asked.
“Undoubtedly, but since we are to be married upon the morrow, I think we have no reason to worry.” Nathan’s smile was so warm, making her feel strangely flushed. She hadn’t seen that smile in eight years. It was a smile of teasing mischief, of love and adoration all rolled into one charming expression.
“Come, Miss Swann. We must dance.”
And dance they did, for the next hour until their feet were sore and their faces hurt from smiling so much. Sir Giles stilled the orchestra for a moment and announced that the coaches were all trapped and that no one would be able to leave tonight, and all were welcome to stay in his home, the rooms of which were bountiful in number.
“Snowed in for Christmas.” Thea sighed dreamily as she leaned against Nathan’s arm. “How perfectly splendid.”
“Splendid indeed.” He led her out of the ballroom with the other guests, and she met her mother and sisters in the throng of people at the base of the stairs.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, my love.” Nathan bent and pressed a kiss to her hand before she was ushered upstairs by her mother.
She paused one last time to gaze down at him, her heart stilling for a beat too long. How different tonight had been than what she’d expected. She’d left her home with a broken heart, and now, amidst the merry cheer of the season, she’d been given a second chance at joy. It was a thought that would play over and over again as she climbed into bed with the snow falling outside.
8
Christmas morning was snowy with overcast skies as Thea, bundled in a bright yellow-gold cloak, exited the coach that had carried her to the small church abutting Sir Giles’s property. She pushed back the hood as she walked up the church steps with her father.
Neither of them said a word, both too afraid to speak lest either of them let emotions run away with them. Her father simply sighed with a sad smile and patted her hand as he led her inside and then removed her cloak, handing it to one of Sir Giles’s footmen who had accompanied them.
“Let’s get you married, eh?” her father said as they stood at the end of the long aisle leading up to the alter. Nathan was watching her, Lewis at his side.
She walked toward him, her heart humming with a quiet but infinite joy. Her father kissed her cheek and stepped back so that she could stand beside Nathan and speak her vows. They were pronounced man and wife to the cheers of the guests, who had all attended the ball the previous night. There were murmurs of how lovely a Christmas Day wedding was, how romantic. Thea had to agree. The holidays used to be her favorite time of the year, but after losing Nathan, she’d lost the joy of Christmas too. But now—now she had the magic of the holidays back.
The festivities of the day were a delightful blur of laughter, the wedding breakfast, cake, and general celebrations. The men went in search of a Yule log, while the ladies sipped hot cider and warmed themselves by the fire. After a few hours, the men came tramping past the window, singing and laughing as they dragged a large log behind them. Sir Giles was in the lead, his baritone voice leading them in Christmas carols.
Thea giggled at the sight of Nathan and Lewis both joining in the fun. She blushed as she thought that in a few precious hours she would soon be spending her wedding night with him.
Dinner was a lavish affair, with carved turkey, figgy puddings, cranberry relish, and several other courses that left Thea quite satisfied, but her stomach was still quivering with nerves as she prepared for bed a short while later. Many of the guests weren’t ready yet to retire, but the men had set about teasing Nathan that he needed to see to his marital duties straightaway. So it was with delighted embarrassment that she and Nathan, hand in hand, went up to bed together.
Lady Pemberton’s lady’s maid saw to helping her undress and pulling her hair down from her coiffure.
“You’ll be fine, miss,” the girl promised before flashing Thea an encouraging smile and taking her leave.
Thea vaguely knew what to expect tonight, but it didn’t make her any less nervous. She nearly jumped when Nathan knocked on the bedchamber door.
“Come in,” she called out. She stood near the bed, twining her hands fitfully in her nightgown. He entered her room, wearing sleeping trousers and a dark-red banyan wrapped around him.
“How are you feeling?” he asked as he came toward her and gently pried her anxious fingers from the nightgown.
“Nervous,” she admitted. It was a strange thing to feel so shy toward him now after all this time, after everything they’d been through, yet eight years apart had taken so much of her physical confidence from her when it came to being alone with him.
“Never say so,” he teased with a twinkle in his eyes. “Not my Thea. Wasn’t it you who scaled the wall of old Mr. Adams’s gardens to steal his raspberries? I was a damned sight more afraid than you were.”
She giggled. “I did do that, didn’t I?” Some part of her had forgotten what she’d been like as a young girl, how she’d been wild and carefree.
“Yes, and I promise tonight will be far better than that.”
“Is that so?” She tilted her head and shot him a purposely saucy look.
He chuckled, and before she could react, he swept her up in his arms and laid her gently down upon the bed.
“Now, let us agree for neither of us to be startled by what we discover tonight.”
“What we discover? What do you mean?”
“I mean, my darling, that I also have not done . . . this before.”
Thea stared at her husband. “You . . . you are a virgin too?” she blurted out, then covered her mouth with her hand.
“Er . . . yes, I am.” He looked down at the floor, seeming to study the carpet quite intensely, as though it held the secrets of the universe.
She sat up on the bed and caught hold of one of his hands.
“But how?” she asked.
“How?” He seemed confused by the question.
“Yes, why didn’t you . . . Surely there were other women who wanted . . .”
“There were plenty, but not one of them was you. I had ample opportunities over the years, but my heart and body were not interested.” He squeezed her hand gently. “So we shall explore this together.” He raised her hand to his chest, and she slid her palm beneath the opening of the banyan. With artful slowness, she pushed it off his shoulders. He let the dressing gown fall to the floor so that he stood bare-chested before her.
It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him half naked. When they’d played by the river, she’d seen him in breeches and nothing else quite often, but this was so different—he was so different now. There were harder lines of muscle, a larger frame to his body. While she continued to stroke his chest, he swept her hair back from her neck and ran his fingertips up and down the column of her throat, as though similarly mesmerized.
“How is it possible that you are even more beautiful than you were at eighteen?” he asked.
She lowered her chin, strangely emb
arrassed. “I’m not. I am so much older . . .”
“Age doesn’t matter. You are still in the blush of youth, my love, and you will always be beautiful to me, more so with each year.” He tilted her face up and leaned in to kiss her.
It was the sort of kiss she’d first expected upon the terrace—soft, full of sunny secrets, and almost unbearably sweet. She parted her lips, letting his tongue dance with hers, and a heat uncoiled deep in her belly. She dropped her legs off the side of the bed and pulled her nightgown up to her hips so that she could part her legs and let him step closer.
“My darling love,” he murmured as he cupped her face in his hands.
They kissed for what felt like hours before he helped her remove her nightgown and he shed his sleeping trousers. They climbed into bed together, lying side by side, neither of them rushing this moment. He held on to her hip with one hand, his thumb stroking lightly back and forth as he simply stared at her and she at him. Her hair fell in waves around her breasts, half hiding them from his view, but he didn’t seem to mind. He picked up one of the coils of her hair, spooling it around one finger.
“This doesn’t quite seem real, does it?” he asked.
She laughed softly. “No, it doesn’t. But I rather wish to stay here with you, even if it is a dream.”
“Me too.” He wrapped his arm around her and leaned over her so that she lay back upon the bed.
Nathan slid between her thighs, settling his weight atop her, and it felt good, his warmth and hardness above her and the soft mattress below.
When he kissed her again, she was lost in the taste of him, the feel of his lips exploring hers. There was no desperation this time, only a playful eagerness that put her at ease. She tensed a little as he entered her body, and the pinch of pain made her gasp against his lips.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “It will never happen again,” he promised.
Nathan held his hips still, his body trembling slightly as he kissed her neck and nibbled that spot in the curve of her neck and shoulder that made her giddy and flushed. She raised her hips to his, encouraging him to move.
