by G. R. Lyons
The door opened, and Athan stood there, studying the two of them, not making a move to let them in.
“Athan,” Vic said, offering his hand.
“Hello, Vic,” Athan said, shaking Vic's hand before turning to Ryley. “Hi.”
“Um, hi.”
Athan studied him for a moment, his mood unreadable. Damned Falsiners. Their marble features made their expressions infuriatingly subtle. Almost impossible to make out. Athan could be either elated or furious, and Ryley wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
“Come in,” he finally said, stepping back, keeping an eye on Ryley as the two men walked inside.
Ryley frowned. Had he done something wrong?
“Please, sit,” Athan said, gesturing at the living room. They all took seats, and Athan focused on Ryley again. “Before she comes in, I need to know you can't hurt her.”
Ryley blinked, looking from Athan to Vic and back, feeling completely lost. “Hurt who?”
“My wife,” Athan said.
Ryley's jaw dropped. “You're married?”
Athan nodded.
“Since when?”
“A few months now,” Athan said, then gestured at Vic. “Right after…”
“Right after what?” Ryley asked.
Vic turned to him. “Do you remember that contract Athan brought us? The–”
“Oh.” Ryley nodded. “Yeah, the one you were helping him with.” He paused, thinking. “Trying to get some woman out of another agent's control?” Though what that had to do with anything, Ryley couldn't begin to guess. He glanced at Vic. “I just realized you never told me how that whole thing turned out.”
Vic nodded. “We got her out,” he said, a hint of a proud smile on his face, then gestured at Athan. “And now they're married.”
Ryley waited. “That's great and all, but…I'm not seeing a connection. Why would I hurt her?”
“She has robotic modifications in her skull to repair the blindness she was born with,” Athan answered, “just like the robotics in my arm.”
Ryley blinked, still frowning. He knew all about Athan's robotic implants, synthetic replacements for bone and muscles that were damaged beyond repair in an accident he'd had last year. While Athan had been in physical therapy, the arm tended to twitch and misbehave, his brain not yet trained to interact with the robotic interface.
“I still don't get it,” Ryley went on.
Athan gestured at his arm. “It acted up every time we–” He broke off and gave Vic a quick glance before looking at Ryley again.
“Oh.” Ryley's eyes went wide. Every time they'd had sex. Every time Ryley had unknowingly let out a burst of magic, which interfered with anything electronic that was nearby. Which included the robotics in Athan's arm. He'd noticed the twitches every time they'd had sex, but never made the connection. “Oh,” he said again, studying Athan's face, thinking he saw a hint of something stern and protective there. Athan was worried Ryley might have another outburst around the woman, which—if she had small robotics in her skull—could risk damage to her brain. Ryley shook his head. “I'm calm, I promise.” He counted a few breaths, just to be sure.
Athan studied him for another moment, then gave a sharp nod. “I'll go get her.”
Ryley watched him go, then turned to Vic. “I still don't understand what we're doing here.”
Vic smirked at him. “You'll see. Just…” He paused, giving Ryley a serious look. “Shysais…Well, Summer. She goes by Summer. She's a little…off, for lack of a better term,” he said, and Ryley nodded. He remembered that from when Athan had first brought in the contract. Something about her being mentally incompetent to take care of herself. “But she's more aware than she seems, and she sees things the rest of us don't.”
Ryley frowned, unable to make sense of the look on Vic's face. “What…kind of things?”
Vic opened his mouth to answer, but got interrupted.
“Hi, Vic!” a feminine voice called. Ryley turned and found Athan guiding a woman into the room. She was absolutely stunning, blonde and slender and smiling brilliantly. She was also, if the protective placement of her hands on a slightly protruding belly meant anything, glowingly pregnant.
Holy shit. Athan really didn't waste any time.
But before Vic could even respond, Summer glanced past Vic's shoulder, her smile going even wider as she raised a hand and waved. “Hi, Cam!”
Ryley blinked. Cam? He turned to look, even though he knew Cam couldn't be there. Sure enough, the room behind them was empty. He turned back to stare at Summer, then glanced at Vic. The woman couldn't be serious, could she?
The smile on Vic's face wasn't a joking one. In fact, the man turned and held out his hand, and a moment later he seemed to clasp something in the air.
“He says he knows you're not here for him but he couldn't help tagging along,” Summer said.
Ryley stared, seeing Vic's hand squeeze before letting go. Vic looked at Ryley, almost blushing as he smiled and shook his head.
“What…” Ryley began. “The hells.”
Vic cleared his throat. “Ryley, meet Summer. She's part Tanasian.” Ryley frowned, shaking his head. What did being from Tanas have to do with anything? Before he could ask the question aloud, Vic said, “It means she can see ghosts.”
Ryley blinked. “Ghosts,” he deadpanned. He looked at each face in turn. “You're joking, right?”
Summer beamed at him, Athan looked as stone-faced as ever, and Vic shook his head. Vic grabbed Ryley's arm and held it up, saying, “Cam, if you're here, could you touch Ryley's hand?”
“Wait, what–” Ryley began to ask, then gasped and jerked back when he felt something touch his hand. Something he couldn't see. Something that felt remarkably like human fingers. Vic held him still, and the touch contacted again, moving more firmly over his skin until he felt the grip of a handshake. “Holy shit.”
“Ryley, breathe,” Vic murmured.
Ryley sucked in a breath and started counting simply by rote, then noticed both Athan and Summer backing away before he realized the lamp beside him had started flickering. He closed his eyes, trying to stay calm while the ghostly contact continued. Inhale, one. Exhale, two. He opened his eyes and looked around. The touch was still there, but he couldn't see anything.
“That's Cam?” he gasped.
The ghost gave his hand an acknowledging squeeze, then let go as Vic said, “Yeah. Summer saw him following me around when we met to discuss her contract issues, and she's been helping us communicate. I can feel him, but I can't see or hear him, whereas she can. Something to do with Tanasian brains being prone to telepathy.”
Ryley looked all around the room, then at each face in turn, everything slowly coming together. “Wait, so you're saying–” Holy shit. My parents. “You mean I can talk to–”
Summer giggled. “More ghosts!” she exclaimed, then waved at something at Ryley's side. “Hi!”
Ryley looked all around, eyes wide, but he couldn't see anything.
“Breathe,” Vic reminded him.
Ryley tried, especially when he saw Athan and Summer backing away again, but then he felt another ghostly touch on his hand, making him instantly lose count. Vic reached past him and switched off the lamp to stop its incessant buzzing, but the other lights in the room were still acting up, flashing erratically in response to Ryley's lack of control.
This couldn't really be happening, could it?
Ryley panted for a moment, then felt himself blush as he whispered, “Mom?”
The pressure on his hand grew, until Ryley was pretty sure he felt two hands clasping his own.
Oh my gods. He swallowed hard. “D-Dad?”
Something touched his knee. It felt like a hand patting him there before resting in place, giving his knee a squeeze.
“Oh my gods,” he breathed, looking at Vic with wide eyes. “This can't– This can't be real.”
Vic rested a hand on his shoulder. “It's real, Ry,” he murmured. “It's real.”
Ryley kept panting, his eyes desperately searching for some visual sign that the ghosts were actually there, but he couldn't see a thing. Still, the physical presence never wavered. Ryley tightened his grip on the hand that clasped his right, then he reached out with his left, fully expecting his hand to land on his own knee, only to meet resistance about an inch above, so that it looked like his hand was hovering just above his leg even though he could feel a solid presence beneath his palm.
He gasped out a breath. “I'm so sorry I forgot you,” he choked out, the memory of that awful day coming back more strongly by the moment. It was becoming so clear now that he couldn't fathom how he'd managed to repress the whole thing as thoroughly as he had. Looking back, he could distinctly recall things leading up to that gods-awful nightmare, things like watching his mother baking his birthday cake and begging her to let him lick the bowl, or pestering Dad a dozen times about whether Grandma was really coming to visit, to the point that Dad finally attacked him with tickles until he was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. How could he have forgotten those things? Ryley sucked in more air and shook his head. “Gods, I'm so sorry.”
A ghostly arm slowly moved around his shoulders, as though testing his response, and a moment later, Ryley found himself being hugged by his parents—his real parents—for the first time in over twenty years.
* * *
RYLEY SLUMPED back in his seat while Vic drove him home from Athan's house. Despite his whole body aching with exhaustion, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, as well as his mind. He hadn't fully realized he'd been smothered by a sort of mental fog all his life until it had finally lifted, leaving him clear-headed and feeling light all over.
He rolled his head toward Vic, watching him drive. “Do you think it's true, what Mom said about Grandma?” Ryley asked. Conversation had been halting, with Summer having to listen to everything his parents said before repeating it so he could respond, but just being able to talk to them at all was a blessing he hadn't imagined possible. “About me freaking out every time I saw her?”
Vic nodded. “It makes sense, considering how traumatized you were.” Vic gave him a quick glance before returning his attention to the road. “If you were thinking about her, anticipating her arrival, right before that whole thing happened, your mind probably associated her with the violence, so being around her would naturally trigger a panic response.”
Ryley frowned. “It seems so cruel,” he thought aloud. “That she had to see me react that way. And now she's dead, so I can't–” He paused, his eyebrows going up. “No, maybe I could talk to her, I guess, if Summer's alright with it. I can tell her I'm sorry.”
Vic gave him a sympathetic smile. “Ry, you were three. I'm sure she understood. And your dad did say she was in no shape to take care of a child at that time, which is why Frank and Pam decided to take you in.”
Ryley nodded absently, then sighed and rubbed his eyes. “Hells. What a day.”
Vic chuckled. “And you're still on Jaduan time. You must be exhausted.”
Ryley snorted. “That's an understatement.”
Vic was silent for a moment, then asked, “What are you gonna do now?”
Ryley yawned, then wiggled down in the seat and closed his eyes. “Try to talk to my folks– My aunt and uncle, I mean. Gods, that's so weird.” He shook his head. “I kinda stormed out on them like an asshole.”
“Probably rightfully so,” Vic said.
“Yeah, maybe, but still…” He yawned again. “Shit, I need to apologize to Zac, too.”
“What for?”
“Walking out on the band. Just up and leaving everything behind without a word. You know how much he was counting on us getting back to performing after that record deal fell through.”
“Hmmm, yeah,” Vic said, his mouth in a grim line as he nodded.
“But, first, I need to get back to Jadu'n,” he mumbled, blinking heavily while Vic shot him a puzzled look.
Vic was silent for a moment, then asked, “Is that such a good idea?”
Ryley yawned. “What do you mean?”
“Just…it seemed like you had some temptation there–”
“No,” Ryley insisted, shaking his head. “No, that's not going to be a problem.” He set his jaw. Temptation was irrelevant, even if he weren't only going back to have his powers removed. Then he could come home and try to get back to a normal life.
Vic glanced at him, one eyebrow raised.
Ryley sighed. “Vic, look: I'm sorry I cheated on you. I really am. But I'm done with that now. And I'm sorry I couldn't have stopped when I was with you, but–”
“Asher's different,” Vic finished for him.
Ryley blinked. “Yeah. Yeah, he is.”
Vic gave him a smile. “I'm happy for you.”
“You are?”
Vic nodded. “You're right. I mean, I did love you, but maybe it was the fact that you were a case that kept me staying. I think we both knew, a long time ago, that we weren't going to work out.” He gave Ryley a questioning look.
“Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right.” He paused, watching Vic in silence for a moment. “What about you?”
“What about me?”
“No hot prospects?”
Vic snorted a laugh. “I'm kinda taking a break from dating right now. Trying to figure some things out.” He blew out a breath. “Besides, I just put in an offer on a house, so–”
“You're buying a house?”
Vic nodded. “I had my eye on one, and then Asher had this idea about doing a halfway house for rescued boys, and this place would be kinda perfect for that, so…” He trailed off and shrugged.
Ryley shook his head. “See, that right there is why I didn't want to lose you.” He grimaced, adding, “Even if I was an asshole and cheated.”
“Why?”
“Because you're just so good, Vic.” He breathed a laugh. “Here you are, making friends with– Hells. With my ex-hookup and my current boyfriend, like it's the most natural thing in the world. I don't know too many people who would do that.” He thought for a moment. “Then again, they're both cases, too, huh?”
“And good men,” Vic added. “They're not just cases to me. Neither are you–” He broke off, then said, “We're here.”
Ryley blinked and looked around. They'd already reached his neighborhood and he hadn't even noticed. Vic pulled the car into Ryley's driveway and let it power down to idle mode.
“Vic?” Ryley asked as he removed his restraint. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For– Shit. Everything. Looking after my house. Helping Asher. And…for today. And, well, just…everything.”
Vic gave him a half-smile. “You're welcome.” He jerked his chin toward the house. “Go get some sleep.”
Ryley chuckled. “Yes, Mom.” He rolled his eyes, got out of the car, and waved at Vic as the man backed out of the driveway. Ryley watched him go, then turned and shuffled into the house.
Asher was probably still out looking for a job, so Ryley headed straight for the bedroom, kicked off his shoes, and fell onto the bed, face-first. He let out a groan, and just managed to push himself back up long enough to drag his body closer to the pillows before he was asleep.
When he woke, he found Asher perched on the edge of the bed, watching him with a frown on his face.
“Hey,” Ryley groaned, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes.
“Hey,” Asher mumbled back.
Ryley pushed himself up onto his elbows. “What's wrong?”
Asher glanced down at his hands, and Ryley realized he was holding Ryley's phone. “I got home, found you asleep, then heard your phone ringing,” he said, wagging the thing. “There were already a few missed calls from the same number, so I answered it, just in case it was important.” He looked up, meeting Ryley's eyes. “It was Athan. He said you'd just been at his house, talking with your parents through his wife?”
Ryley nodded, feeling choked u
p all over again. He'd gotten to talk with his parents, gotten to feel them hugging him as they told him how much they loved him and how proud they were.
“He said,” Asher went on, “after you left, your parents freaked out, remembering something they wanted to tell you.” He paused, then looked at Ryley intently. “You're not really going to do it, are you? Have your powers taken away?”
Ryley blinked, then slowly sat up. “Ash…”
“He said they were there with you on Jadu'n. Heard you talking to the Vakti. They said you'd decided on a Circle.”
“Ash–”
“Ryley, please. Please, don't do this.”
Ryley sighed. “I have to, Ash. I'm dangerous.”
“And beautiful and amazing,” Asher insisted. “I love everything about you, Ry. Don't rip away part of your identity. I don't think I could stand to see you lose a part of yourself like that. They said it would leave a void. Make you feel hollow. Empty.”
Ryley blinked, clutching his chest, intensely aware of his power now. The feeling had been there all his life, even when he had no idea what it was other than something that was part of him. And it felt so much sharper now. Inhale, one. He blew out the breath, feeling the power respond, just as it always had when he tried to calm himself.
Good gods, Asher was right. If that piece of him got ripped away, he'd know it. He'd know it painfully.
And he'd already had enough pieces of his identity taken away from him, both from his own brain protecting him and from the people around him always trying to change him. He'd bowed to the demands of the Vakti, his parents, his boyfriends, and everyone else around him his entire life, forcing himself to be calm rather than ever letting himself feel anything properly. He'd allowed that to happen.
Bad enough he'd been disloyal to his exes and his birth parents. He'd also been disloyal to himself.
“Alright,” he agreed, smiling to himself as the rightness of the decision settled over him.
