by Linda Calvey
‘You might think we’re mugs but know this: my brother will never work for you and your “big boys” again unless ya give us our half.’ Ruby said defiantly, staring hard at the weasel. ‘So, let me tell ya what I want. I want five thousand pounds, in cash, brought round to me tonight. Is that clear? If ya don’t bring it, I’ll ’ave a word with Mr Big.’ Ruby smiled a slow smile of satisfaction. Freddie looked as uncomfortable as a man could possibly be.
‘Look, Ruby, darlin’, I’ll ’ave a word with Bobby. We’ll sort this out man-to-man.’ Freddie tried to charm her but Ruby cut in, her voice low and dangerous, ‘You deal with me from now on. You take my terms or nuthin’.’
Ruby stood, her head high, her back straight. Her hair fell down her back, almost to her waist and she held Freddie’s gaze until he pulled away. She’d won. It was a feeling she would never forget. If she could face a villain, what else could she do? A sense of possibility grew inside her.
Freddie nodded reluctantly, looking over her shoulder. He plastered a sly grin on his face. ‘I’ll be round later. Got some business to do first but I’ll be there.’
‘You’d better be,’ Ruby said grimly.
She stalked off, her heart pounding, but it wasn’t fear, it was pure exhilaration. Yes, she wanted a fair share of the takings, but suddenly she realised this was what she was born to do. This was power, pure and simple, and, in that moment, she realised she liked the feeling of it. She realised she could use her brains, and her brother’s skills, and they’d never want for money ever again.
Ruby arrived back at the house to find George being given his night-time bottle by Bobby in the lounge. Her brother’s face was still pale. He looked up as she entered the room. Ruby knew her face was flushed, her heart still raced, yet she felt calmer now, back in control.
‘I got the money. Freddie’s bringin’ it tonight.’
‘You what? Are ya mad? Freddie knows some big-time villains. You don’t know what you’re messin’ with, Rube.’ It was Bobby’s turn to hiss at her.
Ruby didn’t look away. She knew Freddie Harris was rotten to the core, but she also guessed that he had no real friends in the criminal underworld. He was too dodgy, too stupid, to be a player. She was betting everything on him being the loser that she’d always thought he was.
‘Believe me. Bobby, he’s comin’ ’ere tonight with the cash. Five thousand nicker.’ Even though her confidence had begun to drain away, Ruby tried to appear certain. Now she was back home, she couldn’t believe she’d done what she’d done.
Bobby looked stunned. George stopped gulping, eyed up Ruby and smiled, emptying the contents of his gummy mouth onto Bobby’s hoodie.
Bobby sighed, not for the first time that day. ‘’Ere, take George, will ya? I’m goin’ to get changed, and get me head round all this. You’ve done somethin’ there, Ruby. You don’t know how this is goin’ to pan out,’ he said as he departed.
Ruby was left in the sitting room, holding her baby brother, his warm milky scent made her smile, bringing her back to her reality and family life. She kissed his forehead and he smiled back, kicking his little feet in happiness at seeing her. ‘I wouldn’t let anything or anybody harm ya. I’ll sort out those nasty men, oh yes I will, even if Bobby don’t believe I can do it,’ she said softly. Little George’s fingers curled around hers as he gurgled with the sheer joy of seeing his big sister and hearing her voice.
Ruby smiled back at him. She searched her heart, yet she couldn’t find any regret at challenging Freddie the way she had. They had to stand up for themselves or every villain round there would think they were a soft touch and try it on. That’s if they did any more jobs.
‘Everythin’ I do is for you, little one,’ she crooned, bringing the bottle back to his lips and watching as he sucked contentedly. Once she’d burped him and read a storybook about baby ducks to him, he yawned and she realised it was time to put him down for the night. Her heart swelled as she lay him down in his soft, clean cot and sang him an old Romany song, which her Grandad Jim had taught her as a child.
She drew the curtains, smiling to herself as she sang, remembering how Grandad Jim had always replaced the words so he sang ‘green-eyed baby’ to her as a child. She murmured the words quietly now until George’s eyelids drooped and he fell fast asleep.
Downstairs, Bobby was in the lounge reading the paper again. His face was still pale. He looked shocked as he read. ‘Makes it real . . .’ he said haltingly.
Ruby nodded. She’d felt that too upon seeing the headline, but her feelings had soon been overtaken by the rage that followed.
Just then, there was a knock on the front door.
Bobby stood up. ‘I’ll get it,’ he said, taking charge this time. Ruby stayed silent. What would happen now? Would Freddie hand over the cash, or were they about to find out what happens to people who defy the local crooks? Anyone could be out there. Freddie could’ve called in a few favours. He might not have been lying about his big-time contacts. The next few seconds would reveal what they were up against. Ruby braced herself, suddenly feeling small and vulnerable. ‘Don’t harm George, just leave the baby alone,’ she whispered to nobody but herself.
She heard Bobby open the door. She stared at the clock ticking on the mantelpiece, constant, slow. She swallowed. Her hands went cold, her throat dry. There were murmurs from the doorway then the sound of the door shutting and being bolted from the inside, something they rarely ever did.
Ruby stood up, her head swimming. Bobby walked back in. Without saying a word, he handed her an envelope; a thick brown envelope. She opened it, half expecting it to go off in her face.
Inside was a stash of notes. She pulled the wad from its container, gingerly. What did she expect? Would Freddie poison them or give them fake money? She checked a couple of the notes against the overhead light. She saw they were real. Hands trembling for the second time that day, she started to count. Ruby looked up at Bobby. A shadow seemed to fall across his face but perhaps it was a trick of the light. They shared a look of disbelief, which changed rapidly to wonder.
‘It’s all there . . .’ she said. A smile began to form on her face. They’d done it. She’d done it.
Bobby looked down at the notes, then back up to Ruby. ‘What ’ave ya started?’
Ruby looked at him, her love for Bobby, George and her mum filling her up, making her feel like weeping where she stood. ‘We ’ave to hide this. Mum can’t know,’ she said, handing the money to Bobby.
‘It would kill her,’ he replied.
‘I know, Bobby, but we ’ave to think of little George now. It’s all down to us.’
‘But what about everythin’ Mum and Dad taught us? What about goin’ straight, livin’ an honest life?’ Bobby sounded like a young boy, not the strapping man he had become.
Ruby sighed. Why didn’t her brother see it? ‘That life is gone, Bobby, it’s gone. From now on, we work together. I make the deals and you do the jobs. If we play this right, if we’re choosy and pick our targets carefully, then we’ll never ’ave to worry about money ever again. We’re foolin’ ourselves if we think we ’ave any other way to survive. Without Mum, without Dad, and me havin’ to take care of George . . . there’s just no other way.’
Bobby looked mutinous, then great fat tears came into his eyes.
Ruby turned away from him. She knew their mum mustn’t know. She knew it would destroy her to think her beautiful children had grown into crooks, like everyone else they knew in Canning Town, but she was already realising the opportunities, the ways they could earn enough, or maybe more than they needed, and the idea was intoxicating.
‘Listen, Bobby, I won’t say nuthin’ to Mum, but this is our life now,’ Ruby reiterated, looking down at the little tower of bricks still left on the floor from earlier that day. Bobby and her had played building bricks with their little brother. He’d been squealing with delight as they put one block on top of the other, creating a tower that wobbled and swayed, staying up lon
g enough for George to whack it and bring it all tumbling down. For a couple of hours life had been simple and filled with joy.
Bobby noticed the direction of his sister’s gaze. ‘Just make sure, we ain’t like that tower, with no foundations, pushed down by anyone strong enough,’ Bobby whispered to her, and though it upset her, Ruby managed to keep a smile on her face.
We’ll ’ave foundations, don’t you worry about that, she thought to herself.
Bobby handed Ruby the wad of cash. It felt weighty in her hands, and again she felt a thrill she’d never experienced before.
‘Oh Bobby, just think of the good we can do with this. We can look after little George, we can buy everythin’ Mum needs from now on. We could even get her extra care at the hospice, get a private nurse to go in every day and check she’s OK.’
They both stared again at the money she held.
‘This ’ere is our chance,’ Ruby added, ‘this ’ere is freedom.’
CHAPTER 15
‘What’s this, Mum?’ Ruby took the folded envelope that Cathy offered, hands shaking with the effort. She’d taken it out of the side table next to her hospice bed. The dying woman’s breath was rasping, her pallor grey. She lay back on her pillows, exhausted, her eyes searching Ruby’s face.
‘Open it later . . . when I’m gone . . .’ Cathy said with difficulty as she dissolved into a coughing fit.
‘All right, Mum, just settle back,’ she replied, her heart aching at the sight of her mother.
Ruby had kept a vigil at her mum’s bedside for the last two days, knowing the end was near. Their neighbour Mrs Brown, from two doors down, a stout and motherly woman with five kids of her own, was looking after little George as Ruby ate and slept by her mum’s side.
Ruby inspected the crumpled envelope in her hands. Her mum had written her name, and hers alone, on the front. She could sense Cathy watching her, and she looked over and her mum nodded as if to say, ‘It’s for your eyes only’. Ruby looked back again. It had clearly been written a while ago as it was stained with handling, but it obviously meant a lot to her mum so she placed it into her handbag, the knock-off Gucci that Cathy had bought her at Rathbone Market when she started her first job.
‘How’s yer job goin’, love?’ Cathy asked, as if reading part of Ruby’s mind. Without missing a beat, Ruby looked up to her and smiled. ‘It’s great, Mum, really great. Mrs Brown is lookin’ after George and we’re managin’ fine. There’s nuthin’ for ya to worry about. But you must rest, Mum, you’re tired.’
Ruby was adept at lying to her Mum now. She’d lied about still working. She’d lied about Mrs Brown looking after her brother all the time. She’d lied that there was nothing to worry about. Just little white lies, she thought to herself. Cathy closed her eyes and suddenly her breathing became more laboured.
‘Nurse!’ Ruby rushed to the door, almost bumping into Bobby as he arrived. He looked around in alarm as a nurse sped into the room.
‘Now then, dear, let’s adjust the oxygen levels. That’s better. Is that better, Mrs Murphy?’ the nurse said.
Cathy made a small nod and her breathing began to slow, though it seemed like hard work.
Once the nurse had written on Cathy’s chart and left the room, Ruby and Bobby sat either side of her, each holding one of her hands. Ruby looked down at the gnarled hands of her mother, a working woman who’d slogged all her life, working in the tobacconist, who’d cooked, cleaned and ironed for others. She remembered the cool touch of her mum’s hand as a child on a hot day, checking her forehead for sunburn, smiling down into her eyes. Ruby felt a wail rise up inside her. She wanted to shout, ‘Stop!’ She wanted her mother’s death to stop, her life to return to the happiness she’d felt as a child, secure and safe in her family. Time wouldn’t stop though.
It only took a second for Ruby to realise that the oxygen pump was working but her mum wasn’t breathing. It was a second of complete stillness, before she saw their beloved mother had passed. Ruby picked up her mother’s hand, now floppy and still, and kissed it, feeling the warmth already draining from her body. She placed it down, bent her head onto the bed and wept. She wept for them all, for Bobby, for George who would never know his mum, for her dad who was now reunited with the woman he adored. Lastly, she tried to weep for herself but that was where the crying stopped. Her tears had run dry. She would never shed a tear for herself ever again. It was as if her emotions had frozen, and she’d changed into a woman whose heart ran cold.
There was a blur of activity in the room. Nurses came. They checked their mum over. She heard the words, ‘I’m sorry, Miss Murphy, Mr Murphy, but your mother has passed away.’ She didn’t know who had spoken them. She didn’t care. Her world had shattered into a million pieces. Nothing would ever, ever be the same again, and their future, the one where they protected themselves, looked out for themselves, had already begun.
Later that night after all the rush of nurses and officials, after her brother’s tears had stopped flowing, Ruby was finally alone. She didn’t dare open Cathy’s letter until she was in bed, George sleeping peacefully in the cot beside her.
She sat in what had been Cathy’s room and tonight, it gave her comfort. The house was silent, the only noise coming from the street with the occasional cat yowling, a drunkard singing tunelessly, a group of young men laughing then shouting, their voices like pinpricks in her mind.
When she was ready, Ruby opened the letter. She almost couldn’t read it, so powerful was the sense of her departed mum as she saw her handwriting scrawled across the lines, the writing of a woman old before her time, a woman knowing she was dying and would never see her baby grow up.
Ruby took a long breath and began.
Dear Ruby,
My darling, I know I don’t have long, my doctors in the hospice are kind but I know my time is short. I can’t believe I’m writing this to you as a widow, facing the end of my days without your father with me, while my youngest child is still a baby.
I want more for you three, my gorgeous children, which is why I’m writing this down rather than telling you. You all look so frightened, though you try to hide it, every time you come in and see me, which is every day. You look so fragile but so grown up at the same time, and it breaks my heart knowing I won’t be there to comfort you, protect you and advise you as you go through life.
This letter is all I can give you. I don’t have money to leave you. I don’t have wealth to give you. All I ever wanted for you and your brothers was a quiet life, an honest life filled with as much love as me and your father could give you. I won’t be around to protect you any more. I’m breaking my promise to all of you, the promise I made every time the nurse handed me my newborn babies: ‘I’ll keep you safe. I’ll do anything to keep you from harm. You’re loved and safe, and I’ll always be here to make sure that’s true’.
And yet, I won’t be here, and by a cruel twist of fate, neither will your father. You will all be left as orphans. As I write this, the tears are starting to come and I can’t see the page too well through their blur, but I must finish this as time is so short.
I have weeks left to live, and that’s the truth. Ruby, by the time you read this, I’ll be gone, but one thing I can promise you is that my love for you and your brothers will never die. I believe I will watch over you all from heaven.
No mother should ever die with a baby to love and bring up, but that’s what will happen to us. Ruby, I’m writing this specifically to you because you will have to take over my role. It’s you who will bring up little George. It’s you who will hold our family together. Your brother Bobby is a sweetheart but he isn’t resilient in the way that you are. I’ve seen your father’s direct nature in you but I don’t know where you get your courage, your strength. You shine a light so strong that sometimes I have to shade my eyes, just like on a summer’s day. I’ve always been so proud of you, my darling. So proud of your courage, of the way you have never cared what other people think. You’ve always gone your
own way, made your own decisions without being swayed by anyone else and I’ve always admired you for that.
Now, I need to ask you to step into my shoes. I need to know that when I’m gone, there will be someone to care for George, to comfort Bobby as he grieves for both me and your dad, and someone to stay strong for the family.
I know I’m asking a lot, and I wouldn’t ask it of you if I didn’t know you could rise to it. Look after your brothers, see that they don’t fall into bad ways with bad people. Keep them out of trouble, and please, please remember your father’s advice. An honest life is the best life. Stay away from bad men and dodgy fellas who promise the earth. My love for your dad was for ever. He was my first sweetheart and the man of my life. I hope you know the same joy, Ruby, the same love as I did. Lead an honest life, and remember you were brought up with love. Your grandpa Jim, your father and I might be gone, but somewhere up there, in the heavens, we’ll always be loving the three of you.
Keep my baby safe, Ruby. Keep Bobby safe too, and keep yourself safe. Remember your father’s words and know that I love you.
I love you all.
Mum x
Ruby folded up her mother’s letter carefully. The words touched her deeply, but she knew even now that she couldn’t follow her mother’s wishes. She’d keep them all safe, but the only way she could do that was in a way her mother would never approve. She’d made her choice. She was the head of the family now. Her sweet brother Bobby and little baby George needed her to be strong, just as her mum said, and that meant not looking back. How else would they survive? Ruby stared into the distance. They were three orphans in a harsh world, and she would protect them all come what may, in any way she could, and by any means possible.
In that moment, as she mourned her adored mum and her wonderful father, her heart hardened. It had to. Everything had changed. Where once she was appalled by crooked work and making easy money, now she was focused only on providing for her family. She thought about Bobby, about his skills at lock-breaking, the skills that were a rarity in the underworld, and she knew which path she’d chosen.
