by Linda Calvey
Archie asked, softly this time, ‘Why did ya do it, Ruby?’ His face looked ghastly in the light thrown down by the ceiling spotlights.
Ruby turned to the man she loved. She wouldn’t lie, she didn’t need to. She said bleakly, ‘I had to. I killed my brother because if I didn’t then you and yer brother would’ve tortured him first, you would’ve made him suffer for what he did and I couldn’t bear that. Truly, it was the kindest way. It was an act of mercy.’
CHAPTER 40
Come ’ere, darlin’, yes that’s it, one foot in front of the other! What a good boy you are, you’ve taken your first steps. Oh, George, you beautiful boy, come to me, come to your big sister. The little boy gurgled with delight at his prowess, walking alone, wobbling from side to side in a shaft of sunlight. Ruby realised she was back in her old family home in Star Lane. The kitchen was the same, clean but basic with the yellow Formica table and the small yard out back. For a moment, just a mere moment, Ruby could sense her parents there too, though that wouldn’t have been right. Surely they were dead by then? Perhaps she could feel their ghosts looking over their third child, the one left to Ruby and Bobby to bring up. Ruby felt puzzled, but she knew they were there, watching over her, asking her to look after little George, to protect him, to shelter him . . .
Ruby awoke out of her dream, the smell of burning leaves seeping into her bedroom. She yawned, trying to shake off the unsettling memory of her little brother taking his first steps unaided, the dream she’d plunged into upon falling into a dead sleep. Even though she was now awake, she could almost feel George with her, how warm he’d been in her arms as a baby, how much he giggled when he realised he could walk by himself. She wanted to stay there, in that strange dream state, far away from what awaited her.
Ruby got out of bed slowly and walked to the window. Archie wasn’t beside her and his half of the bed felt cold. Perhaps he hadn’t been to bed at all.
In the garden she could see her husband was tending to a bonfire, heaping the piles of autumn leaves left by the gardener a few days previously onto a smouldering fire. From where she was standing, she could just see the cuff of the silk dress she’d worn last night peeking out at the bottom.
Ruby shuddered and turned away. She felt panic rising inside her and a sudden urge to throw up. Instead, she started to cry for the loss of the brother she loved so dearly, whose life she had taken so effortlessly.
Would she ever move on from this? Would her love for him, her guilt at being the one who killed him, ever be fully erased? She doubted it. She knew this guilt would become part of her. All she could feel then was the emptiness of life without the boy she’d brought up. She’d failed him, she knew that. She’d tried so hard to be like a mum to him but she knew it had never been enough. She could never replace his mum, Cathy, and dad, Louie. She saw that now, and she saw how confused and damaged he’d been by the loss he’d suffered so young. Yet, none of it seemed equal to the crime he’d committed against her daughter.
It was time to think about Cathy. Her daughter would be traumatised. She’d been raped – her virginity taken from her by the uncle she loved dearly. Ruby had to move past the events of last night and focus everything on her now. Would Cathy ever get over it? Ruby didn’t know, but she would be with her every step of the way.
Must get up and go to her, Ruby thought. She could only have had a few hours’ sleep, and she felt it. This is nothin’ compared to how my Cathy must be feelin’ . . .
Somehow they all had to move past the horror.
Ruby pulled on her silk dressing gown and headed downstairs, straight to the coffee machine. Archie walked into the kitchen and she turned to look at the man who was as much a part of her soul as her own spirit.
‘Is it sorted?’ she asked, seeing the exhaustion, the dark rings under Archie’s eyes and the night’s stubble still on his chin.
‘It’s done. Now, we move on,’ he replied.
She nodded. She didn’t ask him how he’d disposed of George’s body. She knew without saying that all it would’ve taken was a large back-hander to the pig farmer who would’ve fed them his limbs, brain and muscle for breakfast. Just like Freddie Harris. Just like so many who ran up against the strict codes of the underworld. You don’t hurt your own. You don’t mug off your own. Simple, brutal, and effective.
At that moment, Alfie walked in. He looked like he hadn’t slept either.
There was an awkward silence as the three studied each other.
Ruby broke it by offering coffee.
Alfie shook his head. ‘Get Cathy,’ was all he said. Alfie might not be a sensitive type, but today he saw the heart of the matter. Nothing else mattered but taking care of Cathy.
Ruby nodded.
‘Alfie, my wife’s traumatised . . .’ Archie started to say, but this time it was her who butted in. ‘It’s OK, darlin’. Alfie’s right. I need to see Cathy.’
‘All right, babe. We’ll go together. Alfie can finish the cleanin’ up.’ He leaned in to kiss Ruby, and for a brief second she yearned to cling to him, to sob and beg for forgiveness, for redemption, but she knew she couldn’t break down.
She walked upstairs like a zombie, pulling on the first outfit she saw and tying her hair back with a hairband. She caught sight of herself in the mirror. She looked older, weary and very afraid. Not for herself, but for her daughter. The hardest part was facing Cathy now, the lies she would have to tell to protect her daughter.
Just around the corner from Bobby and Belle’s home, Ruby pulled over and turned off the engine of the Bentley.
‘What’s the matter, babe? Why ’ave we stopped?’ Archie, whose face was grey, turned to her in the car.
Ruby composed her thoughts. Archie had to understand her way of thinking or they could face losing Cathy for ever.
‘I don’t want either of us to tell Cathy what happened,’ she said.
Archie nodded. ‘So what do we tell her?’
‘We both know if we tell Cathy I murdered George, she’ll never forgive me, so we’ve got no choice. We ’ave to lie to her, tell her that we’ve sent George away somewhere . . . I need to know you can do that, Archie.’
Archie thought for a moment. ‘It’s the only way, I see that.’
Ruby nodded, turning on the ignition, and continuing the journey. Their pact was sealed. The truth would stay hidden, to protect Cathy, to protect them all.
CHAPTER 41
Belle and Cathy appeared to be fast asleep, though the young girl was beginning to stir. She was lying on the bed, while Belle was in a nearby chair.
Cathy opened her eyes as Ruby walked in softly. For a moment she looked just like the sweet, happy girl she was, then as she woke up, her mind cleared and her eyes clouded over as the memories of the night before came rushing back.
‘Darlin’, it’s Mum and Dad. How are you? Oh my lovely girl, come ’ere.’ Ruby embraced her daughter as Cathy began to cry, holding her close and rocking as she sat on the edge of the bed. Archie hovered close by, agony written on his face. It was every father’s worst fear, a daughter being raped and powerless to have prevented it.
Belle’s eyes flickered open. She yawned deeply, and her face looked puffy with tiredness. Bobby was standing in the doorway holding a tray with four mugs of sweet tea.
‘Drink this, it’ll make you feel better,’ Bobby said, looking at Ruby.
‘What happened, Ruby?’ Belle said softly, but her eyes were sharp. Until now, Ruby had thought Belle a pleasant-enough woman, but now she realised there was a keen intelligence underneath the hippy exterior.
‘Let’s talk later,’ Ruby said, this time looking at her brother Bobby.
‘Belle, love, why don’t ya take Cathy and get her some breakfast. She needs to eat.’
Ruby helped Cathy up off the bed, crooning, ‘Put your dressin’ gown on, that’s it. Now, what would you like? Eggs on toast?’
‘Bobby?’ Belle cut across them, looking straight at her husband.
�
�We’ll speak later, I promise. Take Cathy down, love, please?’ he replied.
‘It’s fine, darlin’, I just need to speak to Bobby. You go and eat. Aunt Belle will look after ya,’ Ruby said to Cathy as she passed her over to Belle.
Belle’s face was mutinous but she took the girl anyway, and Ruby was thankful to hear her speak softly to her daughter as they went.
‘Did ya find him?’ Bobby asked, but Ruby’s face told him everything he needed to know.
Archie stood at the doorway, saying nothing.
‘Jeez Rube, did they kill him?’ Bobby said, his voice a whisper.
Ruby shook her head, and before Bobby could reply she said, ‘No, I did.’
There was silence.
Bobby looked over at her. ‘Tell me it ain’t true. You killed George?’
Ruby sat down heavily onto the bed. ‘Yes,’ she said flatly. ‘I killed our brother. I did it to stop my husband and his twin rippin’ him to bits.’ A single tear ran down Ruby’s face.
Then she heard Bobby break down. With his head in his hands, he sobbed. ‘Our bruvver, our little bruvver . . .’
‘I know . . . I’m so sorry. If there’d been any other way . . .’ Ruby said.
Archie said nothing.
She waited for Bobby to finish crying. His face when he turned to her was red raw. ‘I can’t believe George’s dead.’
‘I can’t believe it neither,’ Ruby replied, ‘but it’s dealt with. He was a dead man the minute he touched her.’
Archie coughed. ‘We couldn’t do it no other way. He sealed his fate and paid the price for attackin’ our daughter,’ he said.
‘Listen, we can’t tell Cathy ever. She must never know what I’ve done,’ Ruby added.
‘So, what do we tell her?’ Bobby replied. He knew the truth would kill her, and in his own way, he accepted the simple fact: George’s murder must be hidden from her.
‘We tell her we found him and gave him money to leave. We say he’s not welcome back, and won’t be returnin’.’ Archie took charge.
‘We’d better go to her. If we stay up ’ere too long, she might suspect—’
‘That we’re lyin’ to her?’ Bobby said bleakly.
‘Yes,’ Ruby said simply. ‘From now on, we ’ave to stick to the story, and we ’ave to make her believe it. We’ll tell her that George has gone to America. He won’t ever be back.’
Downstairs Cathy was nibbling at a piece of toast while Belle sat next to her looking anguished.
‘She doesn’t want to eat. It’s the shock. Everything OK?’ Belle said, looking straight to her husband for an explanation.
Bobby shook his head.
‘Baby girl,’ Archie said tenderly. ‘We found George . . .’
‘You found him?’ Cathy looked up. Her face was white as death, her eyes red from crying and lack of sleep.
‘Yes, love, and we dealt with it. He won’t ever be back. We gave him money to leave,’ Ruby said, not able to meet her daughter’s eyes.
‘Leave?’ Cathy looked like she couldn’t take in her mum’s words.
Ruby glanced at Archie, sharing each other’s concern.
‘I’m sorry, darlin’, but George has gone for good. He knows he’s not welcome in our family any more. He’s gone for ever.’ Ruby searched her daughter’s face. She was unusually quiet. Where were the tears? The shock? Where was the need for revenge, the agony at his departure?
‘Mum?’
‘Yes, darlin’?’
‘Is that the truth?’ Cathy’s question almost floored Ruby. She steeled herself for the lie that had to be told.
‘It is, love, now eat up. You need your strength.’ Ruby felt a chill as she spoke.
God, forgive me, she thought, I’m doin’ this for you, darlin’, to keep you safe, so that your innocence isn’t totally destroyed by it all.
Deep inside the pit of her stomach, she could feel the doubt seeding like an acorn deep underground.
‘We gave him money – a lot of money – and he’s gone to America.’ Ruby listened to her words like they were flies buzzing around a carcass. Regret, shame and guilt hummed inside her heart but she carried on anyway. This was all to protect Cathy, wasn’t it? ‘It’s best he’s gone, for all our sakes. He won’t see any of us ever again. He knows never to return. If he does, your dad and Alfie will kill him.’
Tears slid down Cathy’s face now, and it took all Ruby’s willpower not to break down and confess the truth, to beg forgiveness of the daughter she adored. I have no choice, I have to protect her from any more grief. The thought steadied her. Cathy’s gentle tears would be nothing compared to the wild grief she’d feel if she knew that George was already dead.
Cathy turned her tear-stained face up to her mum’s. ‘I would’ve forgiven him, you know.’
CHAPTER 42
Ruby watched from the kitchen as the last wall of the office was pulled down. She stayed there as the base was covered with decking, destroying and covering the evidence piece by piece. She thought of the unwritten rules, the codes of conduct that were followed by the criminal world, and how deeply they were enmeshed in lies and secrets. She thought of Bobby’s natural grief, grief that was as raw and unfiltered as hers was buried and hidden.
Ruby had watched him, seeing the pain she had caused him, knowing there had been no other choice for her. She told Bobby she did it for love of their brother, not for revenge. He’d understood that Alfie would’ve maimed him, abused him and revelled in the killing, so it had to be her. Yet, despite this, she sensed a distance open up between them.
Somehow she knew that, in that one act, everything had changed. For Cathy’s sake, she also knew that they’d try to be the family they once were, but it wasn’t the same. Their family would never be the same again.
This knowledge made Ruby’s next decision seem obvious. She would relocate to Spain with Cathy and Archie, and leave England behind for ever. Alfie had flown back to South America on the first available flight after George’s death, and there was now a sense that she was rewriting history, remaking their future far away from the terrible truth.
Too many questions were already being asked in the week since Ruby killed George. Several of his mates had rung asking for him. People were commenting they hadn’t seen him. Archie put the news out on the grapevine that George had gone to America after being kicked out of yet another school, but the murmurs didn’t stop. Why hadn’t George said goodbye? Why was his mobile turned off? Because it’s at the bottom of the Thames, Ruby thought as she answered yet another phone call, this time from his pal in Chigwell who’d bought tickets for a gig for them both and wondered why he hadn’t heard from her brother, and demanding to be paid.
‘He’s not takin’ my calls. Tell him he owes me for the tickets and two bags of weed. He’s bang out of order,’ the voice said before hanging up.
Ruby sighed. She turned to Archie. ‘Make sure that kid gets his money, and understands that we’re movin’ on. We won’t ever live back ’ere again.’
All she wanted was to start a new life away from this place, especially for Cathy. She wanted her daughter to live far from this house where she’d been raped. She sensed that the only way her daughter would heal from her uncle’s violation, if indeed she ever did, was away from here, away from the memories. At least, Cathy could grieve the loss of her innocence somewhere where the sun shone and she had friends.
Ruby chartered a private jet to take them and their belongings over, while Archie managed the Chigwell mansion, shutting it up and installing state-of-the-art security cameras.
Stepping out of the aircraft, feeling the winter sun on her skin, Ruby felt the first spark of hope since the tragic events. She looked at her daughter, hiding behind big, dark sunglasses, pulling a hoodie around her though it was a mild afternoon. Her once-sunny, sweet daughter was a shadow of her former self. Where she used to prattle away, chatting and giggling with her parents, she was now quiet and withdrawn. Ruby knew that only time, and p
ossibly a good therapist, could help her, but the sight of Cathy grieved her beyond measure.
‘You all right, darlin’?’ Ruby asked.
Cathy nodded, but didn’t say a word, and yet she understood. Ruby saw that her daughter’s sense of security had been stolen from her in the attack. She hadn’t just lost her virginity – and her uncle – she’d lost her safety.
Sometimes Ruby wondered if Cathy knew in her heart that George had been killed. And sometimes she wondered if Cathy would feel safer knowing George could never hurt her again. But she knew, deep down, it would destroy her gentle daughter to know her mother had killed her uncle.
She would never tell her the truth.
Ruby worried constantly about her daughter as the months passed and she stayed as quiet as a mouse, keeping to the rooms of the villa or the pool, but rarely venturing any further unless it was to go to school. Ruby organised a top-class therapist to speak to Cathy, and every week, drove her to the woman’s office. Gradually, Cathy started to come out of her shell, even to eat dinner with the family at the dining table or outside on one of the verandas.
Ruby’s worry for her daughter’s well-being began to ease with each step she took toward healing. She had taken the last few months off from the business, leaving Archie to run it alongside his father, so she could always be on hand if Cathy needed her. Lloyd knew the truth about George, Archie told him as soon as they’d arrived, and he’d accepted it as just another underworld killing; effective and necessary to resolve a bad situation. Ruby trusted Lloyd with her life, and she knew he would never betray her secret.
Meanwhile, all the staff had been replaced – and security doubled – after the Albanian set-up that almost cost Archie his life. There were now twenty-four-hour guards with dogs and machine guns patrolling the boundaries of their estate. She hoped it helped Cathy feel safer, though the real threat had come from inside their home.
