by Jamie Knight
The two of us got to the door, and there was Darren with Bryant.
“Noah! It’s great to see you!”
I could see Darren trying to calculate how to greet me. He seemed to be waffling between a handshake and a hug. I made the decision for him by holding out my hand — touching is not something I’m comfortable with anymore. The handshake was awkward, but we made it through.
“Nice to see you too, Darren.”
I was already hating having to socialize, and I knew we’d do some talking later, but for now, I turned my attention to Olivia — an easy distraction.
Olivia was looking at Bryant, who was staring into our home. It could be a lot to take in for the first time, especially for a tiny child. I was about to try and facilitate something, but Olivia stepped forward all on her own.
“Do you want to see inside?” she asked in her musical voice.
Bryant nodded enthusiastically before letting Olivia take his hand. The two of them rushed into the house, and Darren and I followed them to Olivia’s playroom. The kids did fall easily into their own rhythm. I shouldn’t have been surprised. The two of them always found something to do with one another.
It did leave Darren and me sitting next to one another while we watched them. The silence lasted longer than I expected, but I was comfortable with it. Darren, on the other hand, needed it broken, which was precisely what he did.
“So, how have you been?”
I turned my head to look at my old buddy. It did suck that things between Darren and I were so awkward. We’d been friends since high school and managed to keep contact throughout the years, but when Kylie passed away, our friendship didn’t survive me shutting Olivia and myself off from the world. He’d send a holiday card, and maybe I’d get a text here or there. I’d drop Olivia off to play with Bryant but never stick around. It was clear things between us had changed, and a lot of it fell on me. But it was for the better. It was the way things had to be.
“I’m fine. Olivia and I are fine.”
“Really?”
I could see the concern in his eyes. This was the very thing I had been trying to avoid. It was kind of my friend to be worried, I guess, but I didn’t want to have to manage his feelings towards me — it just complicated things.
I was about to try and find a way to get out of the conversation when the doorbell rang again, jolting me out of my seat. It was very unexpected. People never just came to my house. It wasn’t easy to get to, and I never let anyone over. In my mind, this didn’t feel like a good thing.
“Someone else to be friends with!”
Olivia jumped up from where she and Bryant were playing on the floor and ran to the door. I rushed to follow her because who knew what stranger she would let inside.
“Olivia! Stop!”
My daughter usually listened to me right away, but it seemed the excitement was getting to her as she only ran faster. She got to the door before me. The little girl already knew how to open doors, so she greeted whoever was out there. She was out the door and giggling with whoever was on the other side.
“I’m so sorry, she’s just excited.” I finally caught up, and the breath was kicked out of my lungs when I saw Scarlett waiting with a bag.
“Hi, Noah.”
Olivia had a tight grip on Scarlett’s leg, yelling with excitement. I could hear Darren and Bryant coming up behind me — making the situation even more claustrophobic.
“Scarlett. I wasn’t expecting you.”
She shrugged. “Yeah, yeah. Kind of an unplanned trip.”
Scarlett switched between looking at me and humoring Olivia, who was literally a ball of happiness. She has always loved her aunt, so I wasn’t surprised that she was freaking out so much. I was having a freak out myself but was managing to keep it internal.
“Is everything okay?” Darren asked from behind me.
Reluctantly, I opened the door, so we could all see one another.
Olivia finally let go of Scarlett’s leg and went back over to Bryant. She was talking a mile a minute, explaining who Scarlett was to him.
“Scarlett! Hey, how are you?”
The greeting between Darren and Scarlett was a lot less weird. I doubted they talked regularly, but it could be the fact that they socialize more often than I chose to when she was living here. In fact, she was friends with his wife. Two years of minimal trips past the bounds of our land was a long time to be isolated.
“I’m not too great actually. It’s why I’m here.”
Looking at my sister-in-law was so strange. She was a lot like her older sister, but also extremely different. I had so many feelings wrapped up in my marriage to Kylie and then her unexpected death. I knew I projected a lot onto Scarlett that she didn’t deserve, but sometimes I couldn’t help it when I looked into her blue eyes.
“Oh, I hope it’s not too serious,” Darren said to her as I stood in my own little haze.
“I mean, it’s nothing new. My dad and stuff.”
I knew all about it. After Kylie’s death, Glenn didn’t take it well. He started drinking heavily, and a lot of his care fell onto Scarlett. I made sure they had enough money, but I kept myself removed from the situation. Seeing how much it has affected her makes me feel a little guilty, but I was still only ever thinking of keeping Olivia safe.
“Do you need something? You could have called,” I argued.
Her gaze at me was a bit cold. “You don’t really answer.”
That wasn’t a lie, but I did listen to voicemails. I would have done something if Scarlett sounded like she really needed me, or I’d like to think I would.
“I’m here now.” Scarlett’s eyes darted down to the ground, her feet shuffling. “I was hoping I could stay here. I don’t really have anywhere else to go, so…”
Having my sister-in-law here was a bad idea. I wanted to offer to put her up in a hotel wherever she wanted, but I didn’t want to make things more awkward in front of Darren.
“Yeah, that’s fine,” I managed to spit out. One or two days would be okay, then we could work something better out.
“Awesome, thanks!”
Scarlett pushed past me to get into the house. I was sure she was trying to get herself settled before I changed my mind. She left her bags by the front and started bounding towards the playroom in a way that made it impossible to not look at her full breasts.
“I’ll go make sure the kids are alright.”
I hadn’t even noticed they left.
With Scarlett away, leaving me alone with Darren, he gave me a look I had seen many times. He wanted to tell me something but wasn’t sure how to word it.
“I didn’t know she was coming.”
“I know, I know,” he held his hands up in defense. “Are you okay with that? Scarlett staying here?”
“Of course. That’s why I said yes.”
“Of course.”
Darren was confusing me because his worry seemed to be morphing into amusement. I wasn’t sure what was amusing. Maybe it was something Scarlett did. She had a way of making people happy. Olivia was always smiling whenever she played with her, and I could admit, even though I was a righteous depressing bastard after Kylie passed away, Scarlett managed to get a smile or two out of me during that first year.
But it didn’t matter. It would probably be best if Darren and Bryant left, so I could deal with this new development.
“Look, Noah. I just want to make sure —”
“I know you guys came all this way, but –” Darren and I were talking over one another, and both just stopped.
“What is it?” I asked him.
“I’m just worried about you is all.”
“Oh, uh, yeah. I’m fine, really, and I’ll try to text you back more when you’re checking in.” I was hoping that would be enough to assuage him. “And I know you and Bryant came all this way, but now that’s Scarlett’s here, I should probably talk with her. Just make sure she’s okay.
”
He nodded. “That makes sense. We can reschedule. I know Bryant would love to see Olivia again. I’ll go let him know we’ve got to say goodbye.”
I followed Darren back to the playroom, my head spinning with how I was going to handle this Scarlett situation.
My day had just gotten way more complicated.
Chapter Two - Scarlett
Darren and his son left quickly after I got there. I was sure Noah had said something to get them to go. I was also convinced that Darren’s presence was the only reason Noah allowed me to stay.
“Did they have to go?”
Olivia was lying across my lap, pouting that her friend left. It looked like the two kids had gotten into a lot of the toys.
It was nice to see Olivia playing with someone, she didn’t really get to hang out with any other children after Kylie died. Noah hated having people over, but I was able to take her out from time to time. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t kept up the practice.
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m sure you’ll get to play with Bryant again. Maybe next time, you can go over there?”
“Really?” Olivia popped up, looking at me with high expectations. I glanced over at Noah, and he seemed frustrated, but he wasn’t saying no.
“Of course!”
I gave her a quick kiss on top of her head before giving her the tightest hug. A year was way too long to go without seeing my niece. She wasn’t the only one I missed, though.
Earlier, when her father came out of the house, my heart almost popped out of my body. Noah looked just as good, maybe better than he had the year before. I wasn’t sure. Was it even possible for him to get better looking?
My sister had married well. Not only was Noah incredibly rich, but he was also hot as hell. With a diamond-shaped face and shiny black hair that he kept slightly too long, my former brother-in-law could have been a model. The man was even tall like a model. He towered over my sister and me.
I was jealous for a long time. I tried to stay away from him to hide my attraction until Kylie lost her footing while mountain climbing. Then I regretted my actions. So much time with my sister was lost because I couldn’t deal with my attraction to her husband.
“Olivia?” The two of us look over at her father. “Why don’t you clean up this mess, and then we can have dinner?”
“Okay.”
Her little frame removed itself from my arms, and Olivia started putting her toys away. I would have liked to cuddle a little bit longer, but my plan was to live at the mansion for a while, so there would be plenty of time for that.
Once Olivia got to cleaning, Noah walked out of the playroom, heading towards the kitchen. I got up to quickly follow him, letting Olivia know where we’d be.
“Noah!” I called out, catching up to him.
He abruptly stopped, causing me to run straight into his muscular back. I almost wrapped my arms around him, but I was smart enough to know he would get upset.
“What is it, Scarlett?” Noah turned around; his eyes practically boring into my soul.
“I just wanted to say…” There were a lot of things I wanted to say. I couldn’t say them all now, so I went with the most comfortable option. “I’ve really missed Olivia, and I wanted to see how she was doing, and…”
“Is that all?” His raised eyebrow told me he wasn’t buying the act. I’d already confessed that I came back because things weren’t going well with my dad, but I still came here because the house and these people held some really good memories. I wanted to feel safe here.
“No. I was also thinking maybe I could help by taking care of Olivia if you want to get back to work or some other thing. You always had hobbies and stuff, so…”
“Is that all?”
Noah had a unique ability to make me uncomfortable. It partially had to do with my feelings for him, but he never just let something go. He liked to poke until you revealed all your secrets.
“I could make you guys dinner. I’m guessing you never learned how to make my famous four-cheese pizza?”
Scratching the back of his head, Noah finally smiled at me. “No, I never was able to get the dough quite right.”
“Then let me make it.”
My former brother-in-law was quiet for longer than necessary. It was easy to see he wanted to say a few things, but he wasn’t letting them out.
“Okay. Pizza it is.”
At that exact moment, Olivia’s little head poked out of her playroom. “Pizza?”
I nodded, confirming our dinner. The little girl came bounding out of her room, saying pizza over and over again, jumping up and down.
“Okay, little miss.”
Noah picked her up, and the three of us headed over to the kitchen. I got all the ingredients out of the cabinets. Olivia pulled her step stool over to help me prep everything while Noah stood not too far away, watching the two of us cooking. It was almost like old times.
I just wanted to get into that head of his to find out what he was thinking. Was he one hundred percent upset that I was here? Was there a part of Noah that was happy to see me?
I was surprised they never moved. Kylie died so close by. It must hold a lot of painful memories for Noah. Maybe he was holding onto the pain on purpose. The evidence pointed in that direction.
Olivia and I got the dough formed and rolled out before spreading our toppings all over. By the time the pizza was in the oven, Olivia was a mess. Flour did have a habit of getting everywhere, especially with a six-year-old.
“The pizza shouldn’t take too long. If you want to watch it, I can go get Olivia cleaned up,” I offered.
“That’s fine. You take care of that, and I’ll clean her up.”
Noah picked up his daughter, heading out. He kept stopping like he was going to say something, but he never did. Soon, I was alone in the kitchen without much to do.
My mind wandered back to the last time I was here. Right before I left, Noah and I almost had sex. He was pressed into me, my back to this counter, our lips connected in a passionate kiss. Everything had felt so right. I couldn’t believe we were finally doing it, but something in him flipped, and he practically jumped off of me demanding I leave. I thought I had done something wrong, so I ran away back to my father. Maybe I should have fought harder, but I just didn’t. This was me giving it another chance. This time, I wouldn’t give up so easily.
The pizza came out perfectly, and the three of us almost ate the entire thing. All the tension made me hungrier than I expected, and Olivia was super excited to have homemade pizza again. I suspected Noah felt the same way, even though he didn’t admit it.
Later, when I was tucking Olivia into bed, she looked up at me with her big blue eyes. It had gotten quite late, and she was barely keeping herself up.
“I’m happy you are here. Are you staying?” she asked sleepily.
“Mmhm, as long as I can.”
Olivia smiled before turning onto her side, falling completely asleep. I left her in her room and went back downstairs to join her father in the kitchen.
The second I turned the corner, Noah was on top of me, caging me against the wall with his body. “What are you really doing here?” The look he gave me, I didn’t know what to make of it. It was like a mix of anger and desire.
I put my hands flat against the wall. “I told you. I couldn’t stay with my dad anymore.”
“I remember telling you to leave.”
“I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“You had no business coming back here.”
I brought my bottom lip in between my teeth. Maybe coming back was a mistake. What happened between Noah and me was almost a year ago. I was stuck in my feelings, and this whole time, he could have been over the entire thing in a couple of days.
“Noah, I —”
Before I could finish my thought, Noah kissed me. He grabbed either side of my face and pressed his lips into mine. It felt like heaven had
decided to visit me for a short amount of time. The ecstasy I felt in Noah’s touch was like nothing else. I grabbed onto his wrists, never wanting this moment to end.
“I’ve missed you,” he mumbled against my lips.
“I’ve missed you, too.”
Noah had no idea how much I meant it. I had missed him so much, it hurt, and I didn’t want to go back to that feeling. I wanted to stay in the happiness I was feeling right then forever.
Chapter Three - Noah
Scarlett had a grip on my wrists, the soft pillows of her lips kissing me back. This wasn’t what I had planned for the evening, but her body felt so perfect against mine. It reminded me of the last time we were in this position. I was overcome with emotion then, too.
But it didn’t matter how good touching her made me feel. It wasn’t right.
I broke away from Scarlett, taking a few steps back and dropping my head.
“I can’t do this with you.”
“Why?”
I looked over at Scarlett, and she was still against the wall. Her hand was circling her wrist, the discomfort coming through clear.
“Because, Scarlett, I mean, you know why. I lost my wife. I can’t go through that again, giving my heart to someone just to lose them.”
“So, you’re going to stay locked up forever?”
I didn’t want to talk about my life with anyone, especially with Kylie’s little sister. It wouldn’t lead anywhere good, so it was time to shut this down. I pointed to the doorway.
“I think you should leave tomorrow morning. It’s what’s best for both of us. You don’t want to be tied down to a single Dad. You’ve got an entire life to live, don’t get stuck here with me.”
Scarlett sighed. She dropped her hands by her sides and walked towards me. “Do you really think you and Olivia are a burden to me?”
“That’s not what I meant to say.” I backed up, not letting her touch me.
“I’ve missed you guys like crazy. Ever since I left, all I could think about was getting back here and being with the two of you because, for me, there’s nothing better than that.” She was practically screaming at this point. Her long blonde hair waving as she gestured wildly.
