by Jamie Knight
Ever since she signed the papers, we hadn’t spoken much. She’d tried a few times to have a conversation, but it all felt too weird. I hadn’t fully gotten over the first time we had sex. I should have shown more restraint. But Scarlett was waiting for me like a fucking gift, and I had my own pent up emotions. I sent her away a year ago, but I never dealt with any of the feelings I had for her. They never went away. They only laid dormant, and now shit was bubbling to the surface.
“That sounds delicious,” I directed this towards Olivia.
“Do you want one?” Scarlett asked from behind me.
I turned, so I could answer. I didn’t want to be entirely rude and potentially give Olivia the wrong impression. She was so happy these past few days, I wouldn’t let my mood get in the way.
“I’m not too hungry.”
“We’re making one for Daddy!” Olivia slammed a bowl down in front of me. I was so shocked; I flinched a little. My daughter was standing right in front of me with a stern look on her face.
“It’s fine, sweetheart. You guys don’t have to worry about me.”
“We’re making one for Daddy!” She said it a little louder the second time around. It was clear Olivia meant business, and it looked like there wasn’t anything I could do.
“I guess Daddy is going to have some parfait.”
Livvy clapped her hands and got onto her tippy toes to give me a kiss on the cheek. I brought my face down, so she could place a quick peck on me before she ran off to rummage through the fridge. Scarlett had to rush over to help her get the ingredients. I watched as the two of them scooped and mixed and sprinkled. It was like a scene out of a catalog.
It didn’t take them too long to make our breakfast, and soon, all three of us were sitting at the table with a bowl in front of us. We ate in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable like the silence I had been allowing to grow between Scarlett and me. It felt like we were a unit—something I couldn’t get used to.
“I need to go to my office. Thanks for the breakfast, baby.”
I stood up, ruffling Olivia’s hair before I left the kitchen. It was a total cop-out, but it was getting way too cozy in there for my liking.
Throughout the day, Scarlett and I traded off Olivia. I was able to spend some time with my daughter while avoiding too much eye contact with Scarlett. A weird day but not completely horrible.
That night, I got to put Olivia to bed.
“Thank you, Daddy.” Her eyes were fluttering closed. Olivia was moments from falling asleep.
“Thank you for what?”
“For Auntie Scarlett. Thank you,” her voice trailed off, and she was out.
I quietly and carefully left her room, going to sit in the living room. There were so many things racing through my mind.
“Noah?” Scarlett’s hand rested on my shoulder, and I jerked away, surprised. She withdrew her hand and looked at me with sad eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”
“No, it’s fine. I was just lost in thought. Do you need something?”
Scarlett hugged her body, her shoulders going tense. “It’s just… I was wondering how we were going to make this baby if you were always not around me,” she trailed off, her eyes going to look at her feet.
The girl had a point. There was no way she would get pregnant if I didn’t get over my fucking self. All this avoiding her wasn’t working. I said I was going to give Olivia a sibling, and I still wanted to do that.
I got up from the couch and grabbed Scarlett’s hand, leading her up to my room.
Chapter Nine - Scarlett
Noah grabbed me and dragged me up to his room. He shut the door behind him, leaning against it, observing me. I wanted to be bold, so I walked over to him and placed my hands on his chest. I looked into his eyes, bringing my face closer to his for a kiss, but before our lips could touch, Noah grabbed onto my wrists, spinning me around, so my back was pressed into his front.
“We’re doing things differently tonight,” he whispered into my ear. He guided us over to the bed before pushing me front first into the mattress. “Get on your hands and knees.”
I did as he asked, getting on all fours. Tonight felt very different from last time. Something about Noah was different. I wasn’t turned off by the change, but I was aware of it.
“Put your head down. I want to see your ass in the air.”
Licking my lips, I slowly bent down and placed my cheek on the mattress. I could hear Noah moving around behind me. My heart was beating with anticipation. He wasn’t necessarily gentle last time — and I loved everything he did to me — but I could feel him holding back. He was still holding back, but it was like something had triggered. I was well aware that Noah hadn’t been with anyone since Kylie died. This felt like he had unleashed something he had kept hidden all that time.
I felt Noah’s fingers get under the hem of my leggings before peeling them off my body. The cool air of the room hit my skin, but it did very little to temper the heat that was spreading throughout my core. My panties were next, and soon, my ass was not only up in the air but also exposed.
The air in the room stood still for several seconds. I was waiting for Noah to make some kind of move or say something, but there was dead silence.
“Noah, I —”
Before I could get my thought out, Noah slapped my ass, sending my body rocking forward. I yelled out because it stung a little, but mostly because I was surprised.
“Do you like things like that?”
“I’ve never —”
Noah slapped me again. That time, I was slightly more prepared. I grunted as the second sting was added to the first.
“It sounds like you might.”
He smacked my other butt cheek. I moaned as the feeling went straight to my clit. I never thought of myself as liking the rougher stuff. When Noah and I slept together the first time, I was so wrapped up in finally being with him and losing my virginity, I wasn’t really thinking about anything else.
I did have other boyfriends before him. We just never got too far with anything, but what we did was so vanilla and soft. So, the way Noah was handling me was new for me. But every fiber of my being loved it, and I wanted even more.
“I do,” I breathed. “I love it.”
Noah kept going, alternating between my ass cheeks. His pace became more and more frenzied. My breathing was labored as I felt the sting on my ass. My pussy throbbed. All I wanted was for Noah to touch me there and relieve the pressure.
He moved from spanking me to massaging my backside. His fingers dug into my flesh, rubbing over the sensitive skin.
“Noah,” I begged. The desperation was clear in my voice. Was he teasing me?
I heard a zipper going down and turned my head to see Noah pulling his dick out his pants. I held my breath, watching him handle himself. Memories of before flooded my brain and excitement sparked in me.
I placed my forehead down on the mattress. I felt the tip of Noah’s cock breach my walls, his shaft pushing into me. I bit down on my lip to hold in a moan.
“Fuck,” Noah whispered.
He continued to push forward until his cock was completely buried inside of me. My pussy trembled around his shaft. It felt like I was trying to pull him in even further. My body and my mind craved every inch of Noah. I was overwhelmed with the feeling.
Grabbing onto my hips, he started slamming his pelvis into me. I yelled out as he created a frenzied rhythm, fucking me with vigor. He rammed into me over and over, his long, thick dick reaching every single inch of my walls. My pussy was dripping everywhere, the sounds of our fucking filling up the room.
“Don’t stop, don’t stop!”
I wanted Noah to coat my insides with his cum, mixing our juices together. His grunting became more and more animalistic. His fingers dug into my skin, his hands clinging to me. I did the same with the covers, looking for whatever I could to work through the tension. It felt as if my skin was burning.
Noah doubled over as he came inside of me. His cum spread all over my pussy before leaking out and dripping onto my thighs. His finger found my clit, and he ran circles around it until I was shaking with him. I pushed my face into the covers, so I could muffle my screams. My body exploded, starting with my quivering pussy and flowing to the rest of me. The feeling made me dizzy.
Noah collapsed next to me, and I flopped down onto my stomach. While catching my breath, I looked over at him. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but he made it clear intimacy was not the goal. He hadn’t even wanted to kiss me. The first night must have been a fluke.
Since Noah wasn’t saying anything, I got up to go to the bathroom. As I peed, I thought about everything that had happened up until this point. It was nice to be closer to Noah, but were we closer? Physically, yes, because we were having sex, but there was still this massive wall between us. At that moment, having some connection was enough, but I wasn’t sure if I could make do with pieces forever. It would hurt to know that he would never open up to me. I couldn’t think of what to do to make his feelings towards me change. Time seemed to be the only answer. I’d have to continue to show that I cared. His heart had to soften. Right?
I left the bathroom, and Noah was already on his side turned away. This would have been fully disheartening if he hadn’t opened up the covers on the other side of the bed. A small gesture, but it was an invitation to spend the night. He was probably just being courteous, feeling weird about kicking me out after fucking me. I’d take it though.
I got into the bed and fell asleep staring at Noah’s back, using all the restraint I had to keep myself from reaching out to touch him.
Chapter Ten - Noah
Scarlett was asleep when I woke up again. Sometime in the night, I had turned around. I woke up looking at her face. She was a beautiful girl, that was undeniable, but she was doing things to my heart I’d rather not have done.
I sat up in the bed and stared down at her sleeping figure for way too long. Hopefully, she’d be pregnant soon, and we could end this whole thing. I liked Scarlett, but having her in my life was causing me a lot of confusion, and it was uncomfortable.
I stepped out of bed and quietly got ready. I had decided to take Olivia out for a little fun in town. I’d leave Scarlett a note.
I went to Olivia’s room, and she was still asleep. I stood by the door and watched her. My daughter was what kept me going. If it had only been me, there’s a high chance I would have entirely closed myself off from the world.
That’s another reason why I couldn’t understand why Scarlett wanted to be around me. I knew I wasn’t pleasant. I was a lot more fun before Kylie died, and that wasn’t just me bragging. I would hang out with friends, make people laugh, I was pretty happy myself. I’ve felt like a completely different person these past two years.
“Daddy?” Olivia was rubbing her eyes, sitting up in bed.
“Do you want to go to town with me today?”
“Yes!” She pumped her little arms into the air. I walked into her room, so I could help her get ready.
Olivia and I started the morning by going to the 24-hour diner in town. It felt like a big stack of waffles morning, so that’s what we had. With such a great start to the day, we continued to have fun, walking around, and driving around. I let Olivia pick out the things she wanted to do.
At one point, we were sitting at one of the outdoor tables at the local ice cream shop. Olivia had told me she could handle the cone without making a mess, but two scoops proved to be a little trickier than expected, so I got her a bowl to help out. She was eating her mint chocolate chip with a spoon while I lazily got through my strawberry. She put her soon down and looked at me like she wanted to ask a question.
“Is everything okay, sweetie?”
“Is Scarlett at home?”
“Uh, yeah. She was asleep, and I didn’t want to wake her up.”
“Okay,” she took another scoop of her ice cream, considering what I had just said. “Can she be my new mommy?”
It felt like that came out of absolutely nowhere. I was so stunned. I needed a few seconds to think about what I would say.
“Can we talk about this later?”
“Okay.”
She brushed it off and went back to eating, but I was fuming. Did Scarlett put this idea in Livvy’s head? Was this her way of getting to me, by making my daughter think she could be her “new mother”? I couldn’t show Olivia how upset I was, so I buried it all down and decided to bring it up later.
***
I tucked Olivia into bed, making sure she was nice and comfortable before going to Scarlett’s room. I gave the door a quick, loud knock.
“Come in!” I opened it to find Scarlett sitting on her bed, a book resting to her side. “Hey! Did you and Livvy have fun today?”
She looked so innocent sitting over there like she hadn’t been planning some way to wiggle herself back into our lives. From the moment she arrived, everything had felt off. She made me feel off-kilter, and I didn’t like it.
“Today was fine until Olivia asked me if you could be her ‘new mommy’.”
I looked at Scarlett to gauge her reaction. She seemed surprised. She stayed in her seated position for a few seconds. I could see her trying to decide what to do.
“Well?” I needed an explanation from her. This kind of shit wasn’t okay, and if she had anything to do with it, I wasn’t sure if I wanted her in the house any longer.
“I don’t know why Livvy would say that.” She was shaking her head and had gotten up from the bed. Her arms were crossed over her chest, clearly uncomfortable.
“Really? You have zero idea why she would say something like that out of the blue?”
“I don’t know! I’ve never said anything like that to her. I would never do that. I mean, she’s asked me questions about Kylie, and I do my best to answer them. She’s a curious little girl.”
I was shocked. Olivia had never asked me about her mother since her death.
“She asks you about Kylie?”
“Yeah?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I felt my voice getting louder, but I couldn’t help it. I was mad. It felt like Scarlett was hiding things from me.
“I thought you knew!” Scarlett was shouting back at me.
“How would I know what she tells you?”
“Because I thought she was asking you the same questions, and you hate talking to me. It’s so obvious that you avoid me. It’s hard to… broach certain topics with you!”
“Scarlett, you have —”
“I’m sorry!”
We both stopped and turned to the door.
Olivia’s little voice carried over from down the hall. She must have heard us fighting and wandered over. “I don’t remember Mommy, and I like Auntie Scarlett. I was sad when she left. Please don’t be angry.”
My daughter’s words hit me hard. She didn’t remember her mother. I’d never thought about how little time Kylie got to spend with our daughter. Scarlett had spent more time with Olivia — she had been coming around ever since she was born.
“I need to get out of here,” I mumbled.
I turned to leave, and Scarlett grabbed onto my arm. “Noah, wait!”
“I can’t.”
I stormed out, needing some time away from all of this. I knew Olivia needed some comforting, but I was so angry, I didn’t think I’d be of any help. Scarlett would take care of her. I needed to get my head back on right. My brain felt like it was on fire, and I just needed to douse it.
Chapter Eleven - Noah
In all my infinite wisdom, I decided the best place to calm down was a bar. I went to a random local one and walked in to find Darren already there. I hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone, just to drink and forget how shitty my life was, but Darren saw me before I could leave and waved me over. He was my friend, and I did like him, so I walked
over to sit with him. I could still drink a couple Scotches, and Darren could probably distract me with whatever was on his mind. Yeah, it would be fine.
“Noah, I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” He smiled as I took a seat on the chair across from him.
“I hadn’t planned on being here tonight, so it’s a surprise for both of us.”
“O-kay,” Darren nodded. He gave me a weird look but didn’t say anything more. “Do you want anything to drink? I was about to head to the bar.”
I told Darren which Scotch I wanted, and he left to get our drinks. I leaned into my seat, rubbing my eyes. Was this a good idea? Who knew, but I was already here, and I didn’t feel like moving.
It was six or something drinks later. I had stopped counting after a three, and some of them had been doubles, so it could have been any number.
“You good?” Darren was looking at me, amusement coloring his face.
“I’m amazing. I’ve got a dead wife, a daughter who doesn’t remember her mother. I barely leave the house, and I know everybody’s side-eyeing me, but they don’t know what to say. Not that I blame them. I haven’t made myself super easy to approach.”
He frowned and took a sip of his beer. “You’ve been through something traumatic. It takes time to grieve. Don’t beat yourself up because you feel like it’s been a while.”
“It’s not just that.” I brought myself forward, holding my head in my hands. “I don’t know what I’m doing with Scarlett. I never should have let her stay. It’s fucking everything up even more.”
“What do you mean? Did something happen with her?”
“Too much. I asked her to leave for a reason, but she came back. Not that I’m surprised. She was always a little stubborn.”
Kylie had told me stories of how Scarlett used to dig in her heels when they were kids. She could be flexible, but when she really wanted something, there was no convincing her otherwise. I’d seen it in action a few times. The danger with Scarlett was that she knew how to talk her way into what she wanted.
