Brea chewed her bottom lip. “She might.” Her chest went tight with anxiety. Maybe Shana Mikkelson would understand this anxiety, too. “It’s generous of you to mention this opportunity and invite us on your trip.”
The scientist arched an eyebrow. “I’m not totally altruistic with this. My wife wants time with her twin. I want that for her—peace, reconciliation. I’m not good at romantic gestures, but this trip falling over Valentine’s Day would make it a perfect gift for her.”
Her heart hammered as Brea inhaled a deep breath of cold air. It stung in her lungs as night birds squawked in the towering pines.
Valentine’s Day? She hadn’t even given a thought to the impending “lover’s holiday.” Her skin prickled, and it had nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with her sexy lover as Ward placed a steadying hand on her back. “How long were you planning to stay?”
Brea shifted on her feet, sleet crunching beneath her sheepskin-lined leather boots. Filled with the urgency to run, she imagined what it would be like to dash headlong for the elk loping in the tree line. To leave all of this behind.
“It’ll be a three-day, two-night trip.” Royce leveled a stare at Brea. “You need to understand. I’d do anything for her—and anything to protect her.”
Maybe she should have taken that as the warning it was no doubt meant to be. But Brea couldn’t deny a certain satisfaction that Naomi had found someone to stand beside her.
Ward might not have shared her feelings about Royce’s warning, however. She felt tension in the arm he slung more tightly around her shoulders.
“I’m sure you understand, I feel the same.” Ward held the other man’s gaze for a moment to let that sink in. “It’s time for us to leave.”
As they strode toward the SUV, she thought about how easy it was to lean into the strength of Ward’s protective arm, to pretend their fake relationship was in fact becoming something more than a one-month agreement.
But she also recalled his grief over his broken marriage and losing his stepdaughter. The memory of the pain in his voice when he’d shared that still tore right through her, speaking to a part of her that understood what it was like to lose everything.
Sleeping together had been incredible, but it put them in a dangerous position on so many levels. Emotionally and practically. What would come of their affair if she found that the Mikkelsons—or the Steeles—had played a role in that crash? She wasn’t sure, but she guessed where Ward’s loyalties would lie. He’d worked too hard for this position to turn his back on the Steeles.
Beyond that, she wasn’t even sure she could trust her memories, her past or her family. How could she pursue something real and long-term with him when she was still getting to know herself?
And where would that leave her? She wanted to think she could simply walk away. But the more time she spent with him, the more difficult she realized that would be. So before they celebrated any kind of Valentine’s Day together—before she slid back into his bed again—she needed to figure out a plan B, for when things fell apart.
Because she wasn’t sure she could handle her world falling apart again, especially when she still wasn’t over everything that had happened to her.
* * *
Pressing his foot down on the accelerator, Ward maneuvered his SUV through the massive, elaborate gates that enclosed the Steele compound.
“What do you think about making that trip to North Dakota? We don’t have to go if you prefer not to.”
To block the sinking sun, he flicked the visor down, more eager for her answer than he should be—eager to spend time alone with her away from the larger contingent of her family. He’d been playing the role of buffer. Her family was one of the reasons they’d started.
He waited for her answer as he drove toward the setting sun. Short Alaskan winter days sent the sun’s rays shrinking behind the mountains all the way back to Brea’s apartment.
“It sounds like I could learn a lot about the newly merged family business.”
He mulled over her words. Was she already thinking about ways to play sleuth on Mikkelson territory, as she’d likely done around Ward’s office the day that had launched this dating charade? What would Brea’s family think if they knew about the information he suspected she’d taken off Ward’s computer? He was risking his job by not telling anyone. But once he’d figured out what records she’d accessed, he’d determined there was nothing proprietary involved and decided to keep the incident to himself.
Glancing to his right, he watched the way silence made her mouth grow taut. He hated seeing her uneasy.
Clearing his throat, he turned onto the main road. “And it really doesn’t bother you that Naomi and Royce are the ones who invited us? That Marshall Steele is going to be our pilot?”
She twisted her hands in her lap, picking at her fingernails. “I can’t avoid my siblings forever just because I’m afraid the world will open up under me if I gain total clarity about my past.”
“Is that really how you feel?” He held her gaze for a moment. “We don’t have to go.”
“I’m not afraid.” She tipped her chin, eyes full of that fiery determination he admired.
Once he had stopped at a red light, he reached over to stroke her jaw briefly before returning to the steering wheel. “It’s going to be a quick trip, but it also sounds like a good idea. Like Royce said, you could get a breather from so many people here, while still getting to know the Steeles—and Mikkelsons—in smaller groups.”
Brea toyed with her hair, rubbing it between her fingers. “What if I change my mind? You could go without me.”
What was she hedging about? He understood the lunch had been stressful, but throughout the meal, she’d leaned on him, touched his knee under the table. Something had shifted when they were outside, and he wasn’t sure what that might be.
He accelerated again into traffic, sludge crunching under the tires. “For the business, I should go. But if we’re apart over Valentine’s Day, it sounds like you’re not holding up your end of our bargain. People will question why we’re not together.”
“Well, we can’t have people gossiping.” Brea’s jaw tightened as she reached to hold her hands in front of the heater vents. The scent of her perfume drifted toward him on the gusts of warm air.
Ward drew in a deep breath, then looked at her, her face so beautiful, bathed in the warm glow of the dashboard lights. “I want to spend time with you.”
Flicking the blinker on, he turned onto a road where a light dusting of snow had begun to accumulate.
Turning her head to face the window, she muttered, “Spend time in my bed, you mean.”
He detected something dark in her voice. Careening his head to see her, he noticed the way she chewed her bottom lip.
“Is that a problem?”
The red light just ahead of them turned green. An ancient snowplow lurched forward in a sputter of black smoke. Ward steered the SUV around the choking vehicle.
The leather creaked as Brea shifted in the seat. “I just want to be sure we’re on the same page about what’s happening between us. This is an arrangement that allows me to be around my family with your protection. And I’m helping you blend into the family corporate culture.”
“And the sex?”
The question hung in the air in between them. Electricity palpable before she answered. “The sex was amazing, truly amazing. But it can’t be anything more.”
He agreed, but hearing her say as much still stung. “I don’t recall saying otherwise.”
She looked down at her hands, her hair rippling in front of her eyes like a curtain. “The family vacation to North Dakota just seems...like something more.”
“It’s not a vacation. It’s business.”
“And our timeline to break up is still the same?”
Was that regret in her voice?
He sealed his vow with a kiss. He intended it to be a brief skim of his lips over hers. But she gripped his jacket and pulled him closer, sighing. The kiss quickly spun out of control. But then Ward had learned things were often that way with Brea. Never had he met a woman who turned him on as fully and as quickly as she did.
She was a feast for the senses. The hint of her floral shampoo, the taste of chocolate mousse she’d picked at. Best of all, the satin texture of her skin. He wanted to take her here, now—
A car door slammed near them, a few parking spots away, and they bolted apart. His heartbeat sped up, heat still flaring up the back of his shoulders from wanting her. Damn, he’d lost sight of where they were. She deserved better from him.
“Your place or mine?” he asked, hunger for her edging his words with stark need.
“I’m—” She hesitated. Licked her lips. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Surprise—and a hefty dose of disappointment—rushed through him. Especially since he could see her pulse jumping in the fast-ticking vein in her neck, where he’d just kissed her. “Why not?”
“I don’t regret what we did.” She stroked his face lightly, as if unable to trust herself to deepen the connection. “But things are moving too fast for me. I need space to think.”
He saw the resolution in her deep brown eyes and knew enough about negotiations to realize he wasn’t going to win this round. “You’re right, of course. This afternoon had to be rough for you.”
A hint of regret chased that resolution in her gaze. “I wonder what it would have been like if we’d met each other on totally neutral territory.”
He wondered the same. But they would never know. He could only go with the hand they’d been dealt, and his resolve to keep her close was strong as ever. He needed to keep her in his sights. Yes, this was about helping him gain entry to the family, and being her buffer. But it was also about making sure she was on the up-and-up.
And if he wanted to return to those out-of-control kisses and the passion that swept them both away, he damned well intended to make sure she had an unforgettable Valentine’s Day.
* * *
The past two days preparing for the trip to North Dakota, Brea found her mind full of Ward. Thoughts of what it would be like if she hadn’t turned him away.
She was more apprehensive about seeing Chuck Mikkelson than she’d expected. While he was too young to have had anything to do with the crash, if his family was involved, she feared his reaction when the truth came out.
If only she could trust Ward with all her concerns. She felt so alone.
Which was a feeling exacerbated as she sat white-knuckled in the small private airplane. Marshall, her brother, acted as pilot. Flying them over the impossibly blue lakes in Canada.
Inching toward the window, Brea made herself look out. Her stomach promptly plummeted as her gaze rested on a snowcapped mountain. Painful shards of her past rose to her consciousness, as intently as the peaks below her did.
This flight to North Dakota stirred memories in her. Not just from the crash, which she’d expected. But of that life before. The life after. Life with her adoptive parents and the things they’d done as a family and with their tight-knit community.
She’d spent so much time recovering from the crash and her mother’s death, dazed and full of grief. By the time she’d healed in the home of Steven and Karen Jones, she’d stopped questioning why her father hadn’t come for her. She’d believed Jack Steele had given up on her. That the Steeles and their circles were corrupt. And she’d been so empty inside, needing a family to fill the void. She’d gladly accepted the Joneses’ invitation to stay, to be their daughter. Life was simpler in their home. Sparse. Orderly. Emotions were more predictable. Restrained. All of that had appealed to her when she’d been hurting so badly inside, she thought she might fly apart at any moment.
The twin engines of the private jet hummed. Became something like white noise as she released her grip from the leather seat below her. Looking at the shimmering lakes beneath the plane, she found herself thinking about her off-the-grid upbringing. Or should she say second upbringing?
Steven Jones had been the community’s electrician, working with micro hydro and wind sources for energy to power the small group of homes. He’d taken her along when she was maybe fourteen years old, once she’d realized she wouldn’t be leaving. No one was coming for her. She’d been eager to belong. Confused, but desperate to keep her place in the world she’d found herself in. She’d soaked up the way he assessed different weak points in the systems, gladly throwing herself into a completely new world.
Swallowing a lump in her throat, she cast a look to Marshall. Rather than sitting in the back, she’d opted to sit close to her brother, in the cockpit. Family bonding. Her brother wore the headset, his thick dark curls in need of a cut.
Though maybe next time she ought to choose a less-traumatic space as grounds for her healing with her estranged family. With as much time as she’d spent in counseling about her past, she ought to have known better than to throw herself headlong into difficult situations.
It was almost painful sitting there, with her anxiety about flights and her family keeping her on edge. But after their last conversation, she wasn’t comfortable sitting by Ward.
In the back of the cabin, he clacked away on his laptop. Keystrokes muffled by the sound of the engine. But as she glanced over her shoulder, she noticed the way he threw himself into work. Brow furrowed. A pencil tucked behind his ear.
Her twin also busied herself with work. A flurry of papers surrounded her. Naomi’s lips pursed as she made her way through a brief. Royce was sleeping. Life with twins had clearly drained him. The girls had stayed back with Jack and Jeannie, as well as Delaney, who was on hand to assist during the short trip away.
Swiveling in her seat, Brea forced her attention back to Marshall, whose steady gaze kept the plane even. For a moment she felt as though some of the air returned to her lungs. Impossibly, she felt a surge of trust in her brother’s ability to deliver them safely. He’d always been a quiet kid in their noisy family, but whatever Marshall had tackled, he’d done well. He paid attention to detail, and it showed. They’d all seen that from him at a young age.
“Thank you for flying us today, Marshall.”
“No problem,” he said. “It’s a good opportunity to log some flight hours. I’m also going to take in a rodeo while I’m there before resting up for our flight back.”
She wasn’t surprised he didn’t plan to join them at the pipeline site. He’d always been more of a loner than the others in their family.
“I’m surprised you enjoy flying,” she ventured. “You didn’t like it when we were kids. And then with the crash...” She hesitated. “Or maybe I’m remembering wrong about when we were kids. Was it Broderick who was nervous about planes?”
He shook his head, an easy smile on his lips. “No, it was me. After you and Mom were in the crash, I decided I had to conquer the fear. Maybe it sounds strange. But I felt like if I conquered the sky somehow, it would be a way of paying tribute to you both.”
Brea’s throat closed with emotion. No matter what else she might believe about her Steele siblings, their love for their mother was without question. Would it have helped her get past her own fierce sense of loss if she could have grieved with them?
She swallowed hard and said, “Tell me something about our past.”
He glanced at her. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I wouldn’t want
to do anything to mess with your therapy.” He hesitated. “Especially when we’re in the air. I can tell this isn’t easy for you, Brea.”
Touched, she felt the warmth of gratitude for his keen observation.
“Delaney and Aiden shared some things with me, and it helped.” In fact, after listening, she found it easier to trust them. “Please, pick something...”
Her pleading eyes met his. He nodded, understanding drawing tension away from his jaw and brow before he returned his attention to the windscreen.
“Sure,” he said somberly. “Remember that day we flew together, and Dad let me take the yoke...”
* * *
Marshall had always been closer to Brea than to Naomi, and sometimes he felt left out, since the two of them were thick as thieves. His grandma said it was the twin bond. That didn’t make him feel any better.
Naomi was supposed to go on the flight today, but she’d canceled at the last minute to go fishing with their grandmother. So Marshall had jumped at the chance to spend time with Brea without having to compete with her twin. Even though he hated flying. The sensation of looking down at the ground. He nervously tightened his seat belt.
Brea sat next to him. Understood his unease. She tightened her high ponytail, her attention turning to her father, who smiled behind aviator glasses.
Pointing excitedly, Brea squealed. “Wow, that’s our house. And the boathouse. And the horses are so tiny. This is so cool. Can I hold the steering wheel?”
“It’s called a yoke,” Jack Steele said patiently. Beaming at the interest his children were taking in the flight.
“The yoke.” Brea squinted her eyes, inquisitive as ever. “Can I touch the one on this side?”
“As long as you let me know before you touch it.”
“Okay,” she said, her ponytail bobbing like crazy, she nodded so fast. “I’m letting you know.”
Their dad laughed. “That’s my fearless girl.”
The Secret Twin Page 9
