by Hamel, B. B.
I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I can feel that anger I’ve harbored for him disappearing.
Davis isn’t the man I thought he was. He’s not the asshole I always imagined.
He’s so much more. He’s my husband. He’s nice to me when nobody else is nice to me. He even seems to believe in me.
And I believe him when he said that he was sorry about what happened back when we were kids. I believe him when I never thought I would.
I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. But I don’t want to stop. I don’t think I can stop.
There’s no going back from here.
14
Carly
The next morning, I’m still seething about my father.
Davis has to go into the office. He looks at me, still buried under the blankets, as he gets dressed.
We slept in the same bed last night. It was strange, curling up next to him, but it felt good. Like we were meant to do it.
We didn’t kiss. We didn’t have sex. We just lay in bed together and talked for hours.
It was the most intimate night I’ve ever experienced.
Eventually, we had to go to sleep. Around three in the morning, I pressed myself against his side and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt his breathing go even as he slipped into dreams.
“Are you okay?” he asks me, adjusting his shirtsleeves.
“I’m fine,” I say. “Just tired.”
“Kept you up all night, huh?” He grins at me.
“Yeah, you did.” I roll my eyes. “Wouldn’t shut up.”
He laughs and gets into bed next to me. He kisses me and tickles my sides. I cry out and thrash, laughing as I try to push him away.
“Keep it up,” he says, “and there’s more where that came from.”
“Oh, god, get away from me.”
He laughs and gets up again. I sigh and stretch a little.
“Are you sure you have to go?” I ask.
He nods. “Unfortunately, I still have a company to run.”
“Well, I’ll be right here waiting for you.”
His eyes flash something deep and animal. “You’d better be.”
He leans over the bed and kisses me again before heading out into his office. I sigh and collapse back against the pillows.
I don’t know how this happened. I guess it was gradually happening all along, but after last night, it’s all clicking into place for me.
The way he defended me, the way he talked to me, kissed me.
He doesn’t want this to be fake any more than I do.
I know what it means to think like this. I’m going to have to trust him again, but I think I’m ready.
I believe him when he says he didn’t realize I was in love with him back then. Knowing him now, I realize that he wouldn’t have been so malicious about everything if he realized the truth.
He was just young and stupid. At the end of the day, that’s his worst crime, just young and stupid.
I was young and stupid back then, too. I never outright told him the truth. I just got angry and ignored him, and I let that hate fester for years. I imagined him as this monster, and he just kept getting worse and worse in my imagination.
I saw him as the embodiment of all things awful. I imagined him as the reason women hate men sometimes. I thought he was evil, pure evil, just using me for fun.
But of course that’s not true. Nobody is like that, nobody is pure evil. Not at that age, at least.
He was just a stupid kid, just like me.
I sigh and eventually I get out of bed. I shower, head downstairs, make breakfast. I glance at the binders sideways, wonder if I should study, and decide to take the morning off.
It occurs to me that Davis should be studying me, but we’ll probably get to that. I don’t know how good he’s going to be at remembering all that stuff, and maybe he won’t be expected to know it all like I will. Either way, I’m putting my faith in him.
In a way that I never really thought I would.
I go to curl up on the couch and spend another glorious afternoon watching trashy daytime TV when my phone starts to ring. I jump a little and glance at it, frowning, before I pick it up.
“Hello?”
It’s him, I know right away. I recognize the voice. “Hello, Mrs. King?”
“Yes, this is she.”
My heart’s hammering so hard I can barely breathe.
“Hello, this is Agent Long. I apologize for bothering you so soon after I last visited.”
Yeah, I’m sure he’s sorry.
“What can I do for you, Agent?”
He pauses for a moment, and when he speaks, I swear there’s a hint of triumph in his voice.
“I spoke with your father today.”
I have to sit down. I feel flooded with fear. “My father?”
“That’s right. I believe you and your husband met with him last night?”
“Yes,” I whisper. “How did you know that?”
Agent Long chuckles. “We always contact the families when conducting investigations like this,” he says. “We spoke to your father early on, actually, before we even spoke with you.”
“You did?” I’m staring at the wall as things start to click into place.
“We did,” he confirms. “He was very helpful, even offered to meet with the two of you to find out what he could. I have to say, we’ve never had a family member offer something like that before.”
“Oh,” I manage to say, feeling so stupid I could cry.
Of course that’s why he came to dinner. Of course that’s it.
He didn’t want to meet Davis. He didn’t care about my husband, my marriage.
He didn’t care about me at all.
He just wanted to help the fucking Feds.
“Your father believes that your relationship with Davis is fake. He doesn’t have proof, but he’s convinced of the fact, and he provided some very interesting testimony.”
“He’s lying,” I say quickly.
“Maybe,” Agent Long admits. “It’s all hearsay at this point, just one man’s opinion, but the opinion of a subject’s father is very important to us.”
I clench my jaw. Anger flares. “Why would you do this?” I demand. “I don’t understand.”
“Don’t you?” His voice is barely a whisper. “Divorce him, Carly, while you still can. He’s going down. And your father apparently wants to see you go down too.” He laughs, a sick and twisted chuckle.
“My father is a bastard,” I say. “And he doesn’t know shit about me.”
“We’ll see. This has been a nice chat, Mrs. King. Have a wonderful day.”
He hangs up the phone. I drop it to the floor and clench my fists tight.
That bastard just called to gloat. There wasn’t anything else in that conversation. He didn’t question me, didn’t do anything but brag.
I want to scream. I want to cry. Instead, I pick up my phone again, and call Davis.
He answers right away. “I was hoping I’d hear from you,” he says.
“Agent Long just called.”
There’s a short pause. “What happened?” His voice is more serious now.
I tell him everything. “My dad was there just to spy on us,” I say, forcing myself not to cry. “I don’t know what my mom knows about it. I don’t think she knew, I mean, I don’t think she would’ve come if she did.”
“I’ll be home soon,” he says.
“You don’t have to come back.”
“Yes, I do. Fucking hell, Carly. Your own father. Fuck. I’ll be there soon.”
He hangs up and I drift into the kitchen. I stare down at my phone, and I make a stupid call. I know I shouldn’t. I know I should forget it, move on, but I can’t help myself.
My mother picks up on the third ring.
“Hi, sweetie,” she says.
“Hi, mom.”
“I’m sorry about last night. I don’t know what came over your father.”
“Did you
know?” I whisper. I can’t keep the emotions from my voice, no matter how hard I try.
I feel so betrayed, so broken. My own father is trying to get me thrown in prison.
It’s the most absurd and fucked-up thing I’ve ever heard of. I knew my father disliked my choices, even disliked me a little bit, but I never imagined he actively wanted to hurt me.
Clearly, I didn’t know how far his hatred went.
“Know what, honey?” she asks.
“About Dad and the immigration agent.”
“Immigration?” She laughs a little. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Davis is Canadian, Mom.”
“Oh, really? You didn’t mention that part.”
“Did you know?” I repeat.
“I just said I didn’t know,” she says softly. “Honey, what’s going on?”
I don’t know how to say it, so I just say it. “Dad’s been in touch with an immigration official about me and Davis. That’s why he came last night, to spy on us for them. They think our marriage is fake. They want to deport Davis and throw me in jail, and Dad’s helping them.”
Mom’s quiet for a shocked moment. “Honey, that’s ludicrous.”
“The agent called me just a few minutes ago and told me everything. You heard him last night. He’s unhinged.”
“He’s not unhinged, he’s just—”
“Mom, he hates me. He hates Davis. You really think he wouldn’t do this?”
She’s silent for a long time.
“I don’t know what to say,” she finally whispers. “I can’t imagine he’d do this.”
“Why else would he come last night?” I ask her.
“He said… he wanted to meet your husband.”
“Exactly. To size him up, try and see if we slip up or something.”
“Oh, no, sweetie. No, that can’t be right.”
“It’s right. How are you still defending him after everything?”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Believe it, Mom. Stop lying to yourself. Dad is an asshole.”
“Don’t talk about your father like that,” she says, almost reflexively, but she doesn’t sound like she means it.
“You have no idea who you’re married to,” I tell her. “He’s a maniac.”
“Stop it.” Her voice is harsh and solid all of a sudden. “Just stop it, Carly. This… this little tale is crazy. It’s crazy, okay? I don’t believe it. Oh, honey, why can’t you just follow a normal path like everyone else?”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You think I’m lying?”
“You’re accusing your own father of trying to get you thrown in jail.”
“Mom—”
“No, no more, Carly,” she says. “I’ve been playing the middle as long as I could, but now I’m done. No more from you. I’m tired of this. It ends now.”
“Mom—”
“It was nice seeing you. Davis seems nice. I wish you all the happiness in the world.”
And she hangs up the phone.
I throw it across the room. The expensive phone shatters on the tile floor of the kitchen, but I don’t give a shit.
My own mother thinks I’m a liar. She thinks I’m dramatic.
At least she wasn’t involved in last night’s ruse, but this… it’s still pretty bad.
I knew I shouldn’t have called when I was this upset. It’s too late, though. She thinks I’m crazy and a liar.
I slowly sink to the floor, back against the couch. I hug my knees to my chest and finally let myself cry.
I don’t know how long I’m sitting there, but suddenly I hear the door open. I look up as Davis comes inside. He spots me on the floor and runs to me.
“Carly,” he says, and I just cry.
He sits next to me, pulls me against his chest, and holds me. I sob against him like a freaking child, but he doesn’t pull away.
“We’ll beat this,” he whispers. “I promise. I’ll do whatever I have to.”
“They hate me,” I finally manage to whisper.
“They don’t hate you. They just don’t understand.” He sighs. “And your father is an asshole.”
I laugh a little. “Yeah, he’s a huge asshole.”
“I’m going to take care of this. I promise.”
“I called my mom.” I look up at him. “She didn’t know. But she thought I was lying about what my dad did.”
He sighs. “Can you blame her?”
“No,” I admit. “But it still hurts.”
He nods, wipes my tears away. “I know it does, little wife.” He kisses my lips softly. “She’ll come around.”
“Yeah.”
He holds me like that, pulling me tight against him. I feel like my world is over, my whole entire world is finished.
Although here, in Davis’s arms, maybe, just maybe, a new world can start. I don’t know, I’m not sure. But when I look up at him, I think it’s possible. I think he can make it all okay again.
I don’t care about the money anymore. I just want this to be over.
And I want him. I want Davis so badly, it hurts. I want this marriage to be real, finally real.
I kiss him before hugging him tight, willing him to feel the same way I feel.
15
Davis
I’ve never been so angry in my life.
I hate her parents. I hate the government.
I hate my fucking self.
I never should’ve brought Carly into this. The whole immigration thing was my mess to fix, my problem to get past. Dragging Carly into it only upended her life, destroyed anything she had with her parents, fucked it all up beyond recognition.
And the investigation hasn’t even gotten started in earnest. Long still hasn’t drilled her on my family history yet, and I still have to learn all her details.
There’s a lot more pain and misery coming up. This is just the start.
But I can’t handle it. I can’t, I really can’t.
The next morning, I leave earlier than normal. Carly’s finally sleeping after a fitful night.
I call Avah on the way out. “You’re up early,” she says.
“I need you to set up a meeting with Niko,” I say.
She doesn’t speak right away. “Are you sure?” she asks.
“I’m sure.” I take a breath and let it out. “You should know what I’m planning.”
“Is it going to help Carly?” she asks.
“Yes,” I say.
“Will it help you?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then I trust you to do the right thing.”
“It could hurt Bison,” I say softly.
“Fuck Bison. How much money do we really need, Davis?”
I laugh softly. “I agree.”
“I’ll set up the meeting. Later today, lunch?”
“As early as you can get him.”
“Fine. See you soon.”
I hang up the phone and head toward the office. I walk this morning, enjoying the sun slowly peeking up above the buildings. I stop and get a coffee, taking my time.
The whole way there, I’m planning. I know what I want to say, but I have to think it through. I can’t make an emotional decision, even if I am emotional right now.
I’m fucking angry. I can’t pretend like I’m not.
But I know this is the right thing. I got Carly into this mess, and it’s time to get her out of it, before we get in too deep.
By the time I reach the office, I’m resigned. And it feels fucking good.
* * *
Niko is already sitting at the table when I walk into the little corner bar he selected. It’s a decent place with that faux-industrial vibe to it that’s popular right now.
He doesn’t smile as I approach. Niko’s shorter than me with close-cropped blond hair, light blue eyes, high cheeks, a crooked nose.
“Davis,” he says.
“Niko.”
“What do you want?”
I sigh
. “Can we drop the enemies act for a second and just have a drink?”
He laughs and shrugs. “Okay then. Sit down.”
I nod and sit. A waitress comes by a minute later and we both order a lager. She brings them back while we chat about our lives. Niko’s married, two kids, and he talks about them like a proud dad.
“So, I assume you didn’t bring me here just to talk about my kids,” he says once our drinks arrive.
I sip my beer. It’s cold and tastes good.
“I need you to back off.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Back off?”
“Agent Long. Immigration. I know what you’re doing.”
He smiles broadly. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Niko.”
“I can’t control what the immigration officials decide to investigate, Davis. You know that as well as I do.”
I sigh. “Okay, fine. You don’t have to admit it. But I’m here to make a deal.”
He frowns a little. “Are you now?”
“I’m willing to give up China.”
That gets him. He looks surprised for a moment before he composes himself.
“You can’t just give me a country,” he says.
“We won’t go forward with plans to invest in their market,” I tell him. “I’ll scuttle deals, lose some money, and it’ll be all yours. I know you’re trying to get in there, too.”
He narrows his eyes. “How?”
“You know how. Look, it’s a tough market, we both know it. Bison’s been on the fence about China for a long time. But I’ll make it official and you can have it.”
He shakes his head. “No. Besides, I can’t—”
“Right, right, you can’t tell them what to investigate.” I sigh. “Okay. The whole Asian market is yours.”
That makes his eyes go wide. “Japan? Korea?”
“You,” I tell him. “All you. If you can penetrate, of course. I won’t help with that.”
He laughs softly. “I don’t need your help, Davis.”
“I’ll give up our entire Asia operation if you’ll make this go away.”
He leans back and watches me, arms crossed. I can tell he’s thinking about it, seriously considering it.
