I run out of the suite and head in the direction opposite to the bathroom. I need privacy. I run past a row of the practice suites, fighting back tears.
“Hey,” Tyler says to me as I rush past. I can barely even nod at him. He deserves more than that from me, but at this moment, I can hardly breathe. I turn the corner and search for an empty practice suite.
“Emme?” I hear Ethan call out my name. I turn around to see his head poking out of one of the rooms.
I burst into tears. He runs over and grabs me by the hand and leads me into the tiny solo room where he was practicing. He leans me against the closed door so nobody can see me.
“Is everything okay? Are you all right?” His eyes are filled with panic.
I’m sobbing so hard I can’t speak. I shake my head.
“What can I do? What do you need?” He looks around the room like there is something that can help me.
But there’s nothing. The realization of what everybody has been saying hits me.
I’m a fool.
I stop crying and just stare at the wall. How can Sophie say those kinds of things behind my back? Such hurtful things. Even though our relationship has changed, I thought we were still at least friends. Maybe not best friends, but with all the history we share, how can she look herself in the mirror after treating someone like this?
“Emme?” My silence freaks out Ethan even more.
He’s wiping my tears away and then starts rubbing my shoulders. This isn’t the first time he’s had to comfort me while I sob uncontrollably.
Sophomore year: Sophie invited me to go to a Broadway show, then two days beforehand canceled on me, saying she couldn’t make it. Although Gossip Guru ran an article about Carter Harrison going to that play, and even though his date’s arm was cut off in the picture, I recognized Emme’s music charm bracelet. That’s how I found out they were dating.
Junior year: I spent three weeks helping Sophie get ready for her audition for Grease. I fell behind in a few classes since Sophie wanted to practice her routine two hours a night. I was with the guys when we ran into Sophie and Amanda celebrating Sophie’s role as Frenchy. She didn’t call me or text me or even tell me she got the part. Instead she went out with Amanda.
“Emme, please say something; you’re scaring me,” Ethan pleads.
I look at him and see how much he cares about me. Out of the thousands of students in this entire school, I’m so glad he found me.
Then it hits me.
“Ethan?”
“Yes.” I don’t think he’s breathing.
“You’re my best friend.”
He lets out a little laugh. “That’s why you’re so upset? The realization that I’m your best friend?”
I shake my head. Then I tell him about what happened. He tries to pace back and forth, but the room’s too small. So he just shakes his knee while I repeat the texts. (I don’t think those words will ever be erased from my memory.)
After it comes out, I sit down in his chair. Exhausted.
He kneels down beside me. “I don’t have to tell you about my feelings for Sophie, but Emme, I’m truly sorry. Especially that this was the way you had to find out. You didn’t deserve this. You know that, right?”
I think back on everything I’ve done for Sophie. I have no doubt that we were truly close friends once. That the friendship we had as kids was real. But then we came to CPA and things changed. I didn’t want to believe it, and I held on to something that wasn’t there for so long. I wanted to believe that things were still the same, but they weren’t.
I kept making excuses for Sophie even though I knew she was using me. I let her do it because I was too scared. I needed to hide behind her.
But maybe this is the push I need to finally stand center stage.
“Yeah, I know.”
Ethan gets back up. “Stay here. I need to go do something.”
Whoever said that people don’t change was full of it.
That or they never had a friend who wanted to be famous.
Where the hell is Emme? I go to use the restroom and she disappears?
I’m waiting around for five more minutes and then I’m going to leave. I know that I’m going to nail that audition on Friday anyway.
I hear the door open. About time.
I turn around and see Ethan.
Great.
“Hey, Ethan, have you seen Emme?” I say sweetly to him. It kills me since I know he doesn’t like me, but I’d die to sing one of his songs. Okay, not die, but be nice to him and that’s bad enough.
He grabs my phone out of my hand.
“Excuse me?”
He smiles at me. “I’m answering your question. You want to know where Emme is, here’s your answer.”
He hands me back my phone and it’s showing Amanda’s texts.
“This is my personal property. How dare you —”
“Emme knows.”
“What? You violate my privacy and have the gall to come in here and say things like Emme knows. What, has she figured out that you have some sick obsession with her?”
“She saw the texts. She knows that you are not the friend you’ve been pretending to be this entire time. She finally sees who you really are.”
I can’t believe that Ethan and Emme think they have the right to go through my stuff and then get mad at me. Are they even serious?
“How did she see the texts? You know what, it doesn’t even matter. I can explain.”
Ethan laughs. “This I’d love to hear.” I want to punch that smug look on his face.
I try to think. This can’t be happening two days before the audition. I knew that Ethan would try to find a way to sabotage my spot in the showcase.
“Amanda is very sensitive about all the time I spend with Emme….”
“Right, Amanda, who you’ve known for two years, thinks she should get priority over Emme, who you’ve known since you were eight and is the only reason why anybody wants to hear you perform. It’s for her songs, but, please, do go on….”
Ethan’s such a pompous jerk. He and Emme deserve each other.
“You know what? I don’t owe you anything. Where’s Emme?”
“She’s gone.”
Whatever. All I need to do is apologize to Emme and all will be forgiven.
And I need to put a password on my phone.
I go to leave, but Ethan blocks the door.
“Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt her? And not just today, but how many times I’ve had to literally wipe the tears away from her eyes because of something you’ve done? Since the day I met her, Emme has done nothing but praise you and run herself ragged to help you out. What have you ever done for her? Nothing. I almost hoped that I was wrong about you, for Emme’s sake.”
“Oh, please, it’s like Emme is the poor little lost soul who does no wrong.”
“No. Emme is an extraordinarily talented person with the biggest heart. She’s just been beaten down enough to think that she doesn’t belong in the spotlight. Because her supposed best friend pushed her back while taking something that doesn’t belong to her. Well, your time’s up. Stay away from Emme. You’ve done enough damage.”
He walks out of the room.
Ethan thinks he knows everything, but I know Emme. Everything is going to be fine.
She’d never let me down.
I’m trying not to panic, but Emme is giving me the silent treatment. I’ve called and texted, but she isn’t getting back to me. I can understand why she’d be mad about what happened today, but if she wants to make it in showbiz, she needs to toughen up. People in the business are going to say way worse things about you during auditions.
Really, when you think about it, I’m doing her a favor.
I head up the steps of her family’s brownstone. It seems that I have to do my groveling in person. I knock on the door, but from the look I get from Mrs. Connelly, I can tell that the cupcakes I have aren’t going to be enough.
“Hi, Sop
hie,” she says coolly.
“Hi, Mrs. Connelly. Can I speak with Emme?”
She shakes her head. “She’s not here. She’s spending the rest of the week in the city at a friend’s.”
I can’t believe that her mom would let her stay at Ethan’s. That’s where she has to be. Ethan is keeping guard over her.
“Oh. Well, I guess I’ll see her at school tomorrow. Thanks!”
I turn around and head the few blocks to my house. I want to think that this will blow over, but if Ethan has his fortress around Emme, there’s no way he’s going to let me get in.
Desperation starts to sink into every pore of my body. I have to think of something to do. And fast.
I’m waiting by her locker in the morning. She sees me and gives me a weak smile. But still, a smile.
Good old reliable Emme. I know I’ve been going a little crazy lately. My mind is continually racing with different scenarios, but maybe I’m just overreacting. I can fix this. I’ve always been able to make things fine between the two of us. Okay, so maybe I haven’t been the greatest friend to her lately, but she knows how much I need this. It’s not only my last shot, but the most important one.
“Hey, Em, listen, I’m a jerk, and I need to tell you about what happened.”
She nods. “It’s okay. You don’t need to explain.”
Oh, wow. I didn’t …
I give her a huge hug. “Oh, man, if I haven’t told you lately how awesome you are, you are awesome! Our audition time tomorrow is one fifteen.”
“Sophie …” She looks at me with confidence, no biting of the lip, nothing. This can’t be good. “You’ve been one of my closest friends since I was eight. And I’ve learned a lot about friendship lately and I know that friends should always be there for each other. Friends also love one another unconditionally …”
I feel such relief. I haven’t lost her, after all.
“… and understand when a friend has to make a difficult decision. I’ve never had to test a friendship, never had a reason to question one before …”
Uh-oh.
“… but I’m not going to be accompanying you tomorrow. I can’t stop you from using my song, but I won’t be providing you with the accompanying music. If you are truly my friend, you’ll sing another song … and still want to talk to me.”
This is a test. I know she’s testing me.
“Of course, Emme. I understand. I really wish you’d let me tell you my side of the story, but you’re right. True friends are unconditional and I love you regardless of whether you’re by my side tomorrow.”
I give her a hug. She just stands there as I wrap my arms around her.
“Um, okay,” I say. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later. Bye!”
I walk away from her and my legs start shaking. What am I going to do tomorrow if she doesn’t come through for me? I guess I could have Amanda play … the song we did at the beginning of the year. But the new one is so much better.
This is a disaster.
No, I know this is a game she’s playing with me.
Fine, I’ll play her game.
All day. All freakin’ day I’m waiting to hear from Emme. For her to tell me that I’ve passed her stupid test. Every time I see her in between classes, I wave at her and smile. I decide to hunt her down after school.
“Oh, hey, guys!” I try to pretend that I hadn’t been walking in circles for twenty minutes as I wait for Emme to appear at her locker. Of course her guard dog is right next to her.
“Hi, Sophie.” While she greets me, it doesn’t have the same kindness as it usually does. She pulls out her books and studies them. Ethan leans against the locker and smiles at me.
“Um, I saw your mom yesterday and she mentioned that you’re staying in the city for the week?”
She nods. “Yep, have lots to do.”
“Oh, okay. Um …”
I can’t take this anymore. If she doesn’t accompany me tomorrow, I won’t get in the showcase. If I don’t get in the showcase, talent scouts won’t discover me. If the talent scouts don’t discover me, I won’t get a record contract. No record, no Grammy. This is it. Doesn’t she see she is ruining my last chance? Without this I have nothing. I’m nothing.
Emme was the only part of my Plan that was working. I can’t have this fall apart, too.
“Emme, please, please …” The tears spilling out are real. I need this. It kills me that I need her to do it, but I do. “You know I can’t do this without you. You know it, why won’t you help me? Why would you abandon me when I need you the most?”
Emme shuts her locker. “Ethan, can you give us a few minutes?”
Ethan opens his mouth, but thinks better of it and closes it. Thank God.
When it’s just the two of us, Emme launches in. “I’ve been wondering something, Sophie. Why do you hate me?”
“I don’t — how could you …”
“No, I’ve been thinking about it. What you said to Amanda, how you’ve acted toward me for the last couple of years. You ignored me the entire summer, but once a mention of an audition comes up, we’re suddenly best friends again. You’ve never once come to any of the band’s gigs, yet I go to every performance of yours, even when you’re in the chorus. You know what I think? You don’t like me getting attention. I even think about when we were twelve and you convinced me to dye my hair brown. It hit me last night. You don’t like that I have hair that makes people look at me and not you.”
She ruffles her bright red hair. I hate that hair.
“Not one time have you ever encouraged me to do something that doesn’t somehow affect you. What kind of friend is that?”
I’ve had enough. I get in her face. “What kind of friend abandons someone at the most important time of their life? What kind of person does that make you?”
She backs away from me. “I’m putting myself first. I guess that makes me just like you.”
She walks away and leaves me in the hallway. Alone. I’m all alone.
I want to scream. But I can’t. I need my voice for tomorrow. I want to scream at Emme, at the world, but mostly, right now I want to yell at Amanda.
She fumbles over a few chords.
I try to keep my voice even. “That’s not how it goes.” I sing a few more lines for her and she shakes her head.
“I can’t figure out an accompany part just from your vocals.”
“Emme could.”
Amanda stands up at the mention of her name. “Yeah, well, then get her to do it. It’s almost midnight, and we need to go back to the song from the first day of school. She wrote out that part. Or we can do something else — Sarah Moffitt isn’t doing an original song. She’ll do some Broadway number. Or we can do one of my songs.”
Ugh. Amanda’s songs are terrible. All she does is rhyme girl with world and thinks that constitutes lyrics.
“Fine. We’ll do the old Emme one.” I grab the song she wrote for the freshman welcome performance.
An old song is better than no song.
I get to the hallway where everybody is lined up for the auditions. The dance, art, and drama department members went this morning. This afternoon is vocal and instrumental music. I take a few deep breaths and see Emme sitting by herself, her hands in her lap.
My heart practically jumps out of my chest when I see her.
“Emme!” I pretty much squeal at the sight of her. She gives me a smile.
I knew it. She’d never let me down.
I know I say this a lot, but this time I mean it. She’s a good friend. And I’m an awful friend. But I’ll find a way to thank her. I’ll make it up to her somehow.
“I knew you’d be here, I knew it.”
“Sophie!” I hear Amanda call out.
I ignore her.
“I just need you to know that —”
Mr. North pokes his head into the hallway. “Okay, we are running a few minutes behind. Sarah Moffitt, you’re up, then Emme Connelly. Let’s go!”
She’s here
for herself.
I’m so mad at Emme, I want to rip her hair out of her head. But then I remember, she’s not as tough as me. If she’s going to ruin my chances of getting into the showcase, I’m going to return the favor.
“Oh, I forgot about your little attempt to steal the spotlight. Yeah, good luck.”
She turns and smiles at me. “Thanks!”
I get in her face. “God, I was being sarcastic. It’s laughable that you think you can waltz in and become a singer. Sure, you’re an incredible, amazing songwriter. But I’ve heard you sing, and your voice is nothing special. Never has been, never will be. Here’s the thing you need to realize: A bad singer can ruin a good song, but a good singer can make any song better. So let’s be clear on who’s been doing who a favor all these years — it’s me, the voice. But I guess we’re both about ready to get that proof when you fall flat on your face in there. So really, good luck.”
The color starts to drain from her face.
Her name is called out.
She hesitates, but then leans in. “You know, Sophie, I came here today with every intention of accompanying you. I didn’t want to have that on my conscience. But thank you, really, thank you for being honest with me for once.”
She walks into the audition room.
My mind races to try to see what I can do. But it’s useless. When she comes out of the room, she has a huge smile on her face and she races past me. I see her getting picked up by Ethan, with Ben and Jack there to congratulate her.
Everything swirls around me. I think I’m going to be sick. It’s the biggest moment of my life and she ditches me. And people think that I’m the bad friend?
Amanda puts her arm around me. “You don’t need her.”
I take a deep breath. I know I can do this. No, I don’t need Emme.
My name is called out and I walk into the room. I wish we could go with a different song. I don’t want to owe Emme anything. Because she is nothing to me. She has gotten me as far as I needed her to.
The rest is up to me.
Exams are over, second semester auditions finished.
There’s only one thing left before we’re freed for winter break.
Take a Bow Page 13
