by S. E. Weir
He stopped and retracted the statement. “Actually, it does change something because it lets me know that you are strong but can still adapt.”
“I don’t feel strong.” The girl appeared startled by the thought. “I feel like I’m just getting by. Sometimes I think she loves me, and other times I think she hates me. It’s...confusing.”
“Understandable.” He tapped his chin with a finger. “Think about it this way. Every negative experience can either break us or make us stronger. The worse the experience, the further down either side of that spectrum we could come out of it. Do you feel like you are broken?”
“No.” Phina looked thoughtful. “I don’t think I’m broken. I think I came awfully close a few times, though.”
“That’s understandable too. It can be a hard thing to endure every day not knowing what will happen or when the next blowup will occur.”
The kid scowled. “Like you would know!”
“I know.”
“How can you possibly…”
He leaned forward, looked directly into her eyes, and spoke with restrained ferocity. “I. Know.”
The young woman froze as understanding dawned on her. Finally.
Link relaxed in his chair and waved a hand. “Think of it like a butterfly cocoon or a sword being shaped and tempered. All your potential is hiding and waiting, being processed and forged in fire. Then, when you are done with your current shape and you realize how much it’s holding you back, you’ll burst forth into your final form, sloughing off the parts that aren’t needed anymore and will be the strong being you always had inside you. Not broken, stronger. Make sense?”
She nodded, seeming to have put some pieces together. He knew she was a smart kid.
“You’re right at the edge of it. I can already see it happening. You are much stronger than you think, my dear. Now comes the hard part.”
Her eyes rose to meet his as if asking the question without words. He grinned, hiding the constant ache underneath. “Believing it.”
She snorted but looked thoughtful.
“Now there’s something I need to tell you, a question to ask, and an answer you need to give me.”
Chapter Eleven
QBBS Meredith Reynolds, Secret Bar, Back Room
Wariness crossed the girl’s face as she spoke. “Go on.”
“You know I’m a diplomat, and you have correctly realized that I’m also a spy. What you don’t know is that while there is an organization of diplomats, the Diplomatic Institute, and an organization of spies called SpyCorps, I’m the only one who is connected to both. Some in the know call me the Diplomat Spy, which is why ADAM calls me DS for short.”
The girl smiled with a light in her eyes when he mentioned ADAM. Intriguing. He would have to ask ADAM about that if the recently recalcitrant AI would actually answer his damn questions.
“Why are you the only one? Wouldn’t it make more sense to have, well, more?”
He shook his head. “The spies and diplomats are all over the Empire, but each of their focus is entirely different. Too many of both tend to be more difficult to wield effectively. Think of it like a knife honed to precision. It’s a lot easier and more effective to just use one exactly where it’s needed.
“Which is why I am involved in a lot of pies and stick my nose in many places that the diplomats do not, such as Stan in shipping. It’s also why my attitude and the way I carry myself will be different depending on where I am and who I’m talking to. Just watch me and who I’m with, and you should be able to figure it out pretty quickly.”
“Is that why Greyson is so arrogant?”
Link snorted in amusement. “You haven’t met many diplomats yet, kid. They are all arrogant to some degree. Trust me, Grey slides right in.”
Her eyes narrowed as she continued her interrogation. “And why Stan is so sleazy?”
Suddenly uncomfortable, he rubbed the back of his neck, then shrugged. “Some types of people will only talk to others if they think there’s common ground. He fits a need.”
She was quiet and Link eyed her warily, wondering about the direction of her thoughts. That startled him since he hadn’t cared what people thought about him in a long time. Why had he even told her to call him Link? He hadn’t used that name in… He shoved that thought aside. Finally, the girl shrugged and moved on, which filled him with relief. He didn’t like it one bit and he scowled, not that it deterred the kid.
“So, what’s this question you want to ask me?”
“I need to train someone else to be the new Diplomat Spy, and the person I have chosen to replace me is you.”
Phina absorbed that for a moment as she watched him scowl in irritation before dropping all expression. He held himself perfectly still. Based on the lesson he had just taught her and having thought through the various implications and deductions about other behaviors, this made her think her answer was extremely important to him for reasons he hadn’t named yet. Not that he had asked her a question.
So, she waited.
It wasn’t very long until he frowned and turned his hands out. “Well?”
Phina blinked and smiled sweetly while she clasped her hands in front of her. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was waiting to hear a question.”
“Smartass.” Link scowled and said something in a language she recognized as Italian. She hadn’t learned a lot of it, but what she could make out sounded like, “Heaven…me from kids who act older…their age.”
That sobered the amusement right out of her. “If you ‘know,’ then you should also know that all of it ages you. I haven’t felt like a kid in years. The closest I’ve come to it is when I’m with Alina.”
“I do know.” He nodded, and the gravity in his eyes caused him to appear his age instead of the perpetual youth look. “Having a difficult parent or guardian is hard, but when you have one and you never know how they will respond or react, it makes you constantly on guard. You never feel safe. The reality of that feeling ages you, weighs you down, and makes you feel like a planet rests on your shoulders. Of course it ages you when you have more serious things on your mind than the concerns most kids and teens do. Their thoughts are on comfort and fun; yours are on survival and making it through the day intact. Those are worlds apart when it comes to maturity. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Use it to your advantage and to make yourself stronger.”
Phina felt uncomfortable but strangely relieved that someone knew and understood what she had gone through with her aunt. Not that it was the worst thing; it was not like her aunt beat her. Yet, hearing it out loud made it more real. Phina looked down and picked at her clothes until she heard him clearing his throat.
“So, Phina. Again, I am in need of training a replacement, and you have an interest in spying and helping the Empire. Would you please consider being my trainee, with the goal of becoming the new Diplomat Spy?” He looked at her expectantly.
Phina sat back and twaddled her fingers together as she thought. “Would I be able to become a regular spy instead?”
Link scowled, then mumbled curse words to the ceiling before shaking his head. He got up and began to pace as he muttered to himself under his breath, occasionally glancing at her. After a moment, he stopped next to her and pointed.
“Fine. If you really want to leave the Diplomatic Institute and be a spy full time, you can do that.” Her eyes lit up but he waved a hand. “However, all spies in SpyCorps have to have some form of business or trade as a cover, so you will need to learn something in addition to spycraft. Is there some other profession that has caught your attention?”
Phina didn’t even have to think about that. “No.”
He spread his hands as if to say, “Well, then the answer’s obvious.”
She sighed internally, still debating her answer. She had always wanted to be a spy, and this was her chance to do so. Was he really offering anything different than what she had already accepted from Anna Elizabeth? Except now, she would have spying, too. Put that way, there was o
nly one answer.
“Yes.”
“Excellent.”
He grinned and sat down. She thought she detected an air of relief but figured she’d imagined it. He studied her thoughtfully for a moment before leaning forward.
“Let’s talk about your vow.”
Phina narrowed her eyes and grew wary. “Why?”
“Tell me about it.” His air of casualness belied the seriousness she saw in his eyes.
Phina’s vow had been very important to her. She didn’t want to share it and have him ridicule her or put it down. She also realized she had a hard time adjusting to all the new people in her life. Each person had an opinion about what she should do. Particularly this man. She looked at him sourly, and a feeling spurted up inside her. It was annoyance, she reminded herself as Link raised his eyebrows, waiting.
Finally she threw her hands up. “Fine. You’re just going to keep asking if I don’t tell you, aren’t you?”
“Of course! Now you are getting it.” He grinned.
She sighed. She didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it already was. “Basically, I vowed to make sure mistakes never happen again so that no loved ones would be lost. That I would become a stealthy information acquirer who passed on data to prevent death and atrocities.”
Link appeared thoughtful, turning that over in his head before looking her in the eye. “And what happens to you and your vow when a mistake happens? Because, trust me, kid, mistakes happen all the time. Big, little, insignificant, they all happen.
“So, is your vow compromised because one person forgot to tell their teammate something and a person died? Or is it when a leader tells their unit information that they thought was true but proved incomplete, and half of them died while the rest were significantly injured? Is it Marine- or Guardian-wide only? Where do you draw that line of what information you need to be involved with and what you will assume is your fault because you didn’t know?”
“You’re just a little ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” Phina was angry, frustrated, sad, and uncertain. She was on an emotional roller coaster and wasn’t sure what to say or how to react. She realized she didn’t like his question, no matter how valid. “I don’t know.”
“It’s not bad, kid. We just need to refine it a little so you aren’t assuming responsibility for things outside of what you can handle or control. That’s the kind of thing that can crush a person if they aren’t careful.
“How about we tweak it this way: ‘To gain the best information available in the hope of saving as many lives as possible.’ Would that allow you to keep the nature of your vow and hopefully your sanity later on? This is just the beginning, my dear. You don’t want to drown yourself in impossible tasks right away.” He smiled, and his eyes appeared kind.
Phina agreed though she added playfully, “I like to contemplate six impossible things before breakfast.”
He flashed her a grin before continuing, “The last thing is that we will need to get you in the Pod-doc sometime this next week to be fitted with a new type of communicator that transmits faster and easier so there are fewer issues on missions. Would you be willing to do that?”
She nodded, her interest rising. New tech always got her attention.
He flashed her a grin. “Good. Oh, by the way, here in this location, your cover is as my spy trainee. The demonstration we gave everyone earlier has established that you aren’t thrilled to be connected to me. For the near future, just continue that.”
Phina let out a long breath. He was being considerate now, and she wondered if he wasn’t as arrogant or sleazy as she had first thought. Of course, that thinking totally broke down with his next words, causing her to scowl.
“All right, my lovely little sex kitten…I mean, ‘trainee.’ It’s time to see what you’re made of. When we go out there, I need you to look none too happy with me.”
“Trust me, that won’t be a problem.”
He winked as he stood up and moved toward the door.
She shook her head but followed him out the door, waited while he locked it behind them, and walked into the bar area. As they went to the outer door, she could hear Link, or rather Ian James, call to the bartender, “See ya, Smiley! Put some of that dark rum in the back, will you?”
“Of course, Mr. James.”
“Ian, Smiley. Call me Ian.”
“Yes, Mr. James.”
While this exchange occurred, Phina glanced around the bar again, trying not to stare at the other patrons, who had increased by a handful while they had been in the room. She almost gave herself whiplash turning her head when she realized her Ethics teacher sat in a back booth on her left.
Link grabbed her arm and gave it a tug toward the door. She took a step before realizing she was supposed to be unhappy with him and jerked her arm away, giving him a scalding look before stomping ahead of him to the exit.
“Just so, my dear, just so,” he murmured next to her as he put in the code to open the door.
They were silent as they retraced their steps through the office complex to the main area. Phina followed a step behind and to his left as they traversed the hallways. Finally, she couldn’t hold her tongue any longer.
“Would you please tell me where we are going?”
“Very good, my dear! That took thirty seconds longer and was in a much better tone than I had expected.” He winked at her, causing her to roll her eyes again, which in turn caused him to laugh.
“Now, kid, we need to talk shop on the way. Sort of a pop quiz, the outcome of which will determine how bad the next week will be for you.”
He grinned at her dark expression. “You really need to learn how to control the emotions expressed on your face. Let’s call that your third lesson. Everyone shows more of their internal thoughts on their face than they realize. As a diplomat, you don’t want to show that you think the person you are talking to is an arrogant ass, even when they are. And in regard to the other profession, it can save your life to be able to keep your real emotions hidden.
“Right now, I can see your every expression flit across your face. Oh, you aren’t as bad as some—your friend Alina for instance—and not everyone would notice. However, you could get in a spot of trouble or cause an incident if you weren’t careful and completely in control of yourself. Best to avoid that.”
Following him became much more difficult when they joined other humans and aliens in the crowded corridors. She suspected that had been why he had referred to being a spy in vague terms.
As she listened, she wiped all expression off her face. Lesson number three was a good reminder but wasn’t needed. She just had to remember to show the emotion she wanted to express instead of what she felt.
In some ways, it felt like a relief to drop all emotion. After years of being around her aunt, she knew how to hide her emotions all too well. It had become normal. They were usually buried deep, and it took effort to tap into them. She tried to act normal around other people though, which meant showing what you were feeling.
Link nodded approvingly, though she sensed a sadness in him that made her wonder if he knew why it was easy for her. Since he had said he knew everything about her and it sounded like he had been in a similarly difficult situation, she wouldn’t put it past him to know about her emotions, even though she had never told anyone.
“So, pop quiz. Did you see the two humans exchanging a clever little handshake back there?”
Only a small crease between her eyebrows showed she was thinking. “Before we went into the back room, there was one exchange. A strange sort of handshake and then a cuff on the shoulder.”
“Excellent. What handshake did they perform?”
He looked at her expectantly, but she could only shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen it before.”
“Ah, I would be very disappointed if you had, but take a note now. If you see that handshake again, you need to pay very close attention to them without appearing to do so. Most of the time, it will be members of
Spy Corps and our trusted associates, who you will discover later. If he had not done that handshake protocol exactly right, I would have notified Reynolds to begin the process of shutting him down if he hadn’t already done it himself.”
“Wouldn’t that be Meredith?”
“Nope! Reynolds is the man for all defense-related matters. Or the EI, I suppose I should say. Now, did you notice anything else about the members that were in the bar, both when we first got there and on our way out?”
“Well, yeah, my Ethics teacher was there. That was weird.”
He looked intrigued. “Really? Who was that? I haven’t checked the roster this year.”
She shrugged. “I’ve never heard his name said, but the roster shows a listing for M.P. He is about your age, with darker skin and salt and pepper hair. He sat with a couple other people in the back booth on the left.”
“Ah. Mr. Prez.”
“Mr. Prez? That seems like a weird name.”
“Yup, definitely. So Anna got the old man involved, eh? Good on her.” He mumbled this last as they turned a corner.
Phina struggled to keep up with and follow the strange man who was her mentor. She still didn’t know where they were going but began to have a feeling.
“Anything else interesting, funny, or odd in the bar?” He spoke absently, as if he weren’t paying attention.
“Well, there was this weird alien.”
“Uh-huh.”
“He sat all the way in the back.”
“Right.”
“He was green, but not like a Shrillexian. This was a lighter green.”
“Good, good.”
She wondered if he was even paying attention to her. “After we left, he got up and danced on the table.”
He burst out laughing. “Now that would have been funny as hell.”
Phina looked at him doubtfully. “I’m under the impression that hell isn’t really supposed to be all that funny.”
