She was sick most of the night. Linc sat up with her in the hotel room, holding her, talking quietly with her, between her miserable bouts in the bathroom. Each time she thought of Cody—he would always be Cody to her now—alone and confused in some stranger's home, she was overcome by a wrenching pain that felt as if it were turning her inside out.
"Why couldn't he have stayed with me overnight?" she said to Linc. "This is cruel. He doesn't know what's going on. He'll wake up in the morning surrounded by strangers."
Linc didn't have to answer for her to know the reason she was not with Cody tonight: they were afraid she'd take off with him again. And the truth was, she might have tried.
In the morning, she visited Adam in the hospital. She brought him a sketchbook and some pencils, but she knew it would be a while before he felt like using them. He was understandably subdued, and she was not much better.
"Jessie said I was using you to hide from my grief," he said. He looked worse than he had the night before. He was paler, and his face was tight with pain. "She was right in a way. It was easier to be with you than to be with people who'd known Dana, who kept reminding me of Dana and the kids." He gave her a half smile. "That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy our time together, Kim. I truly did."
"I'm worried about you," Susanna said. She was wobbly after the long and sleepless night, and she was living for five o'clock when she'd be able to see Cody. "I'd like to stay in touch with you, if that's all right."
"I hope you will," he said.
She rested her hand on his, aware of an emotional distance between them that she knew was her doing. It was not safe for her to get too close to Adam right now. If she were to feel his loss on top of her own, it would be more than she could bear.
"You have a lot of friends here," she said. "People who care about you. I know they remind you of all you've lost, but you need them now. Don't cut yourself off from them, Adam."
He motioned her closer to him. "I want you to remember something," he said hoarsely. "Remember that, even if Cody is living with his father and stepmother, at least he's alive and healthy. You can always have a future with him."
She began weeping then, not for herself and Cody, but for Adam and the emptiness that awaited him once he left the hospital.
"I'll miss you," she said.
Adam gave her a weak smile. "You'll be Boulder, Colorado's dream artist," he said. "Every town should have one."
Cody looked pale and sleepy when Mary Michaels, the social worker, handed him to Susanna as they waited for the plane. Susanna held him close to her, drawing in gulps of air through her mouth as she tried not to cry. Her crying would only upset her son, and he seemed upset enough as it was. His confusing day away from her in the midst of strangers had been too much even for this resilient little boy. She could tell.
She sat between Linc and the social worker on the plane, Cody in her lap. Cody clutched the arm of her sweater in one hand, the monkey in the other. His sudden lapse into insecurity broke her heart. He even balked at going to Linc, although Linc was finally able to win him over with a song and a tickle or two.
She looked past Mary Michaels at the clouds outside the window, wishing the flight would go on forever. Jim and Peggy would no doubt be meeting their plane in Denver with outstretched arms and joyful smiles as they greeted their child. Susanna didn't think she could bear to be the one handing Cody over to them. She doubted she could even watch, and she didn't want to hear them call him Tyler. He'd be so confused.
"Excuse me." She interrupted Mary, who was reading a paperback. "I've been calling my son Cody for the past few months. I'm afraid it's going to confuse him if his father and…stepmother call him Tyler. Do you think you could tell them…or ask them, if they could call him Cody?"
Mary gave her a kind smile. She came across as a nice woman who did not seem to harbor any ill feelings toward her, and Susanna had the feeling Mary Michaels knew what it was like to love a child. Still, the social worker obviously had a job to do.
"I can understand why that troubles you," Mary said, "but he hasn't been gone all that long. He'll get used to Tyler again in no time."
Linc squeezed Susanna's hand. He knew that Mary's words gave her little comfort.
The plane bounced a few times as it landed on the runway. It lumbered toward the gate, and as soon as it came to a stop, passengers filled the aisle, opening overhead compartments and lining up to leave. Susanna didn't even bother to unfasten her seat belt. Neither did Linc, and Mary seemed to know better than to rush them.
Her throat was tight. "Will they be here?" she asked Mary. "Jim and Peggy? Will they meet the plane?"
"I think so," Mary answered.
The four of them were last to deplane. Linc kept his arm locked around Susanna's shoulders as they entered the waiting area. Susanna expected to see Jim and Peggy at the front of the crowd, but the waiting area was filled with strangers.
"I don't see them, do you?" Mary asked.
Susanna searched the crowd. "No," she said.
Cody started crying and she tried to comfort him. Her outward calm could not fool her baby. He knew she was falling apart inside.
Mary led them to the side of the waiting area, then scanned the crowd one more time. "Let me call the office," she said. She took a step away from Susanna and Linc, then seemed to think better of it. She looked directly at Susanna. "If you still want to hold Tyler, you'll have to come with me to the phone booth," she said.
Susanna followed her obediently, although Linc balked for a second before falling into step next to them. Susanna knew he hated being told what to do, but he kept his mouth shut.
Mary was in the phone booth a long time, and Susanna kept one eye on the social worker, the other on the crowd.
"I feel like I'm going to explode," she said to Linc.
Linc turned her around until she was standing in front of him and began rubbing her shoulders. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, but it was impossible. Every few seconds or so, someone was paged over the loudspeaker, and she strained to hear the names, fully expecting her own to be among them.
Mary finally emerged from the phone booth, shaking her head.
"No one seems to know what the plans are," she said. "I've been told to bring Tyler to Child Protective Services. I guess the parents will be meeting him there."
Susanna looked from Linc to the woman and back again. "Do we take a taxi there or will someone pick us up?" she asked.
"I'm afraid it's just me taking him," Mary said, sympathy in her voice. "I'm sorry."
Linc made a sound of disgust. "Seems like things should have been arranged a little better than this," he said. "Now we've got to turn him over to strangers again."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Sebastian," Mary said. "It might not be ideal, but children survive this sort of thing every day, and I'm sure Tyler will be with his custodial parents in no time." She turned to Susanna. "Let me take him now," she said.
The social worker reached for Cody, but Susanna turned away. If Mary wanted to take him from her, she would have to do more than ask.
Linc gently touched Susanna's arm. "Let him go, Sue," he said. "The easier you are about it, the less anxious he'll be."
She knew he was right. She drew in a breath. "Go with Mrs. Michaels, Cody," she said, her voice as bright as she could make it. "That's it. And here's your monkey to take with you."
"What a good, big boy," Mary said. "Would you like to go for a taxi ride with me?" She turned to Susanna. "I know this is hard," she said. "Worse than hard. You're a good mom. I'll be sure they know that."
Susanna nodded woodenly. She watched as Mary walked away from her, but she could no longer see Cody in the social worker's arms. Only the legs of his monkey were visible. They bounced against Mary's side as she walked.
Susanna took a step after them, but Linc caught her shoulder. Without a word, he turned her toward him and she buried herself in his arms. That old dark cloud dropped over her again, cutting off her words, her breat
h, and the two of them stood there in silence.
She felt a soft touch on her back.
"Susanna?" It was a woman's voice.
Pulling away from Linc, Susanna came face to face with Peggy. Instinctively, she recoiled.
"You're too late," Linc said to Peggy. "The social worker already took him away. Why weren't you here to pick him up?"
Peggy didn't even acknowledge him. "Susanna," she repeated, and Susanna noticed the red in her eyes. "Please," Peggy said. "Can we sit down?"
She wanted to sit down. Her legs were rubbery as she and Linc followed Peggy to a nearby row of seats.
Peggy sat down, her hands folded tightly in her lap. She licked her lips and looked directly into Susanna's eyes. "Jim and I are separating," she said.
Susanna frowned, unable to register the meaning of the word. "Separating?" she repeated.
"It was my decision," Peggy continued. "So much has changed since you left. I've come to realize that Jim and I have very different values,"
"And so you're…splitting up?" She was still not certain what Peggy was trying to say.
"Yes."
"Is there a chance of reconciling?" Linc asked.
Peggy's eyes glistened, but only for a second. "None," she said.
Susanna shook her head. "But Cody…Tyler …"
Peggy's lips tightened. "On his own as a single father, Jim is no longer interested in custody," she said.
Susanna glanced at Linc, not certain she'd heard Peggy correctly. "He doesn't want custody of Tyler?"
"No," Peggy said. "That's why he dropped the charges against you. And that's why Tyler's going into foster care instead of home with Jim and me. They need to evaluate the situation to…make sure he'd be safe with you before letting you have him back." She leaned forward quickly to cover Susanna's hand with her own. "And I know he is, Susanna. I know he's safe with you. I know you were railroaded. And I was duped. I thought Jim was someone he wasn't."
Susanna opened her mouth but no words came out. This was too fast. Too good. She didn't know if she could trust what was happening.
"I wanted Tyler," Peggy said, "but 1 didn't want to get him that way."
"How long will this…evaluation take?" Linc asked.
"I'm not sure, but his stay in the foster home will be very brief, I promise you that," Peggy said. Her hand was still on top of Susanna's, and it felt suddenly warm and reassuring. "You come to my office in the Legal Aid building first thing in the morning, Susanna, and I'll help you do whatever you have to do to get Tyler back."
Susanna's mind was still fuzzy, but her thinking was sound enough to know that Peggy had paid dearly for the action she was taking.
"Is there a chance Jim might change his mind about custody?" Susanna gave voice to her fear, and Peggy smiled ruefully in return.
"If he does," Peggy said, "I'll represent you for free."
She spent the night at Linc's house. They sat on the sofa watching the moon and stars over Boulder, and she felt as though she'd come home. She wished she could talk to Cody. She wished there was a way to explain to him that they only had to endure a short period of separation before they'd be together once again. But she and Cody would survive this. In the morning, she would borrow one of Linc's cars to go to Legal Aid and begin the process of getting him back. Ironic though it was, she knew she had an ally in Peggy.
As she fell asleep later that night, she thought of one other thing she wanted to do the following morning. She nearly told Linc about it, but decided it was something she wanted to keep to herself.
She woke up very early, a vivid dream still in her head. She'd dreamed she was looking out Linc's window at Boulder, as she had been the night before, but the town was covered with a pristine blanket of snow.
The dream felt so real. She wanted to wake Linc to tell him about it, but he looked so peaceful that she thought better of it. He needed his sleep. These past few days had been rough on him as well as on her.
She ate a bowl of cereal alone in Linc's breakfast nook, and only then did she realize that the snow had been more than a dream. Looking out the window, she could see Boulder spread out far below her, clean and sparkling in a layer of white.
After breakfast, she wrote Linc a note to let him know she was on her way to Legal Aid, but he got up just as she was leaving. He came out of the bedroom, shirtless, sleepy-eyed, and beautiful.
"Where are you going?" he asked. "Legal Aid doesn't open till nine."
"I know," she said, "but there's something I want to do on my way."
He looked as if he wanted to know more, but he didn't press her. "All right," he said. "Come home right after your appointment with Peggy, though, okay? I want to hear everything she says."
"I will." She kissed him on her way out the door.
She drove directly to Alfalfa's. She'd missed that store during the past few months and it felt wonderful to stroll up and down the crowded aisles. She bought half a dozen giant chocolate chip cookies for Linc along with a bouquet of mixed flowers. Then she returned to the car and started driving in the direction of the cemetery.
There were no other cars in the cemetery parking lot, and the snow had already melted from the macadam. She got out of the car and started walking across the frosty grass, remembering the last time she'd been there, back when Cody could only crawl. Back when Cody was Tyler, and his future was as uncertain as her own.
A layer of powdery snow still dusted the gravestones, making them all look like one another. She thought it would take her a while to find the stone she was looking for, but to her surprise, she walked straight to it.
Crouching next to the grave, she lay the bouquet of flowers in front of the small stone marker.
"I'm giving you back your name, Kimberly," she said. She dusted the snow from the front of the gravestone. "Thank you for letting me borrow it."
She stayed a moment by the grave, then slowly rose to her feet and began walking toward her car. Halfway to the parking lot, she turned around and saw that Kimberly Stratton's small headstone stood out from the rest, marked by the splash of color from the flowers in front of it. The scene gave her a sense of satisfaction, and she continued walking to her car with a lighter heart.
There was an emptiness in the car without Cody sitting in the back seat, but Susanna felt undeniably optimistic as she drove from the cemetery to Legal Aid. Optimistic, yet determined to be kind to the woman who had wanted to take her son from her. She remembered the pain in Peggy's eyes at the airport the day before. Susanna knew all about that pain, and she would do nothing to add to it. Peggy was no different from her. No better or worse, and she and Peggy were equals when it came to strength and courage. She'd had the guts to try to keep her son. Peggy'd had the guts to lose him.
Susanna turned one corner and then another. She'd had to ask Peggy for directions to her office, yet now she didn't seem to need them. She had the odd sense of knowing exactly where she was going, and as she neared the broad, windowless south side of the Legal Aid building, she thought she knew the reason why. It was the perfect canvas for a mural.
* * *
Inspiration and Acknowledgements
When I'm getting ready to begin a new book, everything I experience turns into a potential storyline inside my head. That is why, when I overheard a conversation between two women in a fast food restaurant, I jotted down what the gossip they were sharing. A mutual friend of theirs was about to lose custody of her young son to her husband and his new wife. One of the women said, "If I were in her shoes, I'd take my son and run." Thus the initial idea for The Escape Artist was born.
Around the same time, I bought a laptop computer at a big box store. It was priced low because it was "pre-owned". When I got it home, I discovered the previous owner had left some files on the hard drive. They were letters written to friends and family, and the information in the letters was mildly incriminating of individuals the writer knew. That started me thinking. What if my character buys a computer that contains informa
tion that must go to the authorities, but she can't take it to the authorities because she's on the run? With those two seemingly disparate ideas, the storyline for The Escape Artist was ready for me to create the perfect characters to go with it.
I'm grateful to my old critique group, The Mount Vernon Writer's Group, who helped me brainstorm The Escape Artist. Thank you Ann Allman, Barbara Bradford, Jane Drewry, Linda Rainwater, Jeanne Van Dusen-Smith and Joan Winslow. I miss all of you!
Special thanks to Kathy Hansen and all the other young moms who gave me insight into how they'd react in Susanna's situation. I'm also grateful to D'Ann Taflin, Pat Bernhardt, Brittany Walls and Gary Fuller for sharing their expertise in various fields.
Other Books by Diane Chamberlain
All of my in-print books are available as both print books and e-books for every type of e-reader and I am gradually making my backlist available as well. You can keep up with availability on my website, where I maintain a printable booklist on the "Books" page. Visit me at:
www.dianechamberlain.com
www.dianechamberlain.com/blog
In Print Titles
(also available as e-books)
The Lies We Told
Secrets She Left Behind
Before the Storm
The Secret Life of CeeCee Wilkes
The Bay at Midnight
The Shadow Wife (originally published as Cypress Point)
The Courage Tree
Summer's Child
Breaking the Silence
Keeper of the Light
Kiss River
Her Mother's Shadow
Backlist Titles
Secret Lives
The Escape Artist
The Escape Artist Page 34
