by Tom Cox
4 Legendarily unwashed band from the early 90s: perhaps best known for starting a trend among middle-class teenagers from well-off households for attaching the family dog to a piece of string, dreadlocking your hair, and walking around your local city pretending to be homeless.
5 A deliberately vague Facebook status, often serving as a cry for help, or attention, and prompting your friends to ask you what is up: e.g. ‘Sadie is so fed up with *some* people’.
6 I don’t believe the pot-bellied pygmy goat is an actual breed; these are just pygmy goats who eat a bit too much.
7 See the ever-popular ‘Fruzz Bird’ – for which you will need the following ingredients:
1. A rubber-dimpled pet mitt.
2. A cat.
3. A light breeze.
4. An open first-storey – or higher – window.
5. Some fruzz.
