“I’d rather you didn’t let him...” Jack trailed off and stared in horror as Sammy pulled out a colorful plastic container and banged it on the floor until it opened. He picked up a small white pill.
“Oh no, Sammy, no, no!” Mrs. Jennings reached down and took the pill and pill container from him. “Those are Mrs. Jennings’s special candies.”
Jack’s insides froze. “Has he done that before?”
She seemed to hear something in his voice. “No, of course not.”
“What did you mean, when you said he loves your purse?”
“Oh, well...” Her eyes shifted back and forth, not meeting Jack’s. “He just always grabs for it. I’m sure he’s never gotten in before.”
“You keep your medications locked away at home, right?”
“Yes, I do.” She looked indignant. “I take care of my own grandchildren. Do you think I wouldn’t keep them safe?”
He hoped she would keep all the children in her care safe. “I’m just wondering,” he said slowly, “whether Sammy could have gotten ahold of your purse and taken a pill or several.”
“No! That’s not possible.”
“Like he was about to do just now,” Jack continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Like he would have done in a second, if we hadn’t both been looking at him. I’m just wondering whether his kidney episode could have been because he ingested some medication. That’s one of the things the doctor asked about.”
“Now you’re blaming me for his kidney issues?” Mrs. Jennings grabbed her purse. “I knew I should never have started taking care of him again. You’ll just have to find another caregiver, one who’s up to your standards.”
Yes, he would. “What kinds of medication do you carry with you?”
“Just one kind, and it’s my personal business.” Her face was pink.
He stepped in front of the door, blocking her way. “If I need to get the police to investigate, I will. This could help the doctors know how to finish treating Sammy.”
“It was an antianxiety medication, all right? I don’t even remember what it’s called. I’ll text you the name of it. Now, let me through!”
He did let her through and watched as she got into her car and floored it, gravel flying under her tires.
So the mystery of Sammy’s kidney problem might very well be solved. Too bad there was only one person he wanted to share that knowledge with. And he’d barred her from ever again coming over or speaking to his son.
Her son.
Chapter Fifteen
An hour later, Jack sat out on his front porch with Sammy, but not because he wanted to see Arianna. No, he was sitting there because he was at the end of his rope, with Sammy and with life generally, and sometimes being outside kept Sammy calmer.
Across the way, Penny’s front door opened, and Jack felt an absurd hope that Arianna would come out, even though she didn’t use that entrance and her car wasn’t there.
Then the hope within him made him angry. It didn’t matter if she showed her face; he wasn’t going to invite her in for coffee. It wasn’t like he was going to let her see Sammy.
And he had the feeling that if Sammy saw her, and wasn’t allowed to go to her, the meltdown would be massive.
“Hey, Jack!” Penny’s cheerful voice matched the cheerful barking of Buster, Arianna’s puppy. “Okay if I bring him over?”
“If he’s leashed. Sammy’s still a little afraid.”
“Sure.” She held the pup at the bottom of the steps while Jack sat at the top, holding Sammy. Sammy reached toward the dog, so Jack scooted down another step, then another. Finally, he and the pup were only a couple of feet apart. “That’s about where Arianna stopped,” Penny said.
Even the mention of her name made Jack sweat. “What do you mean, she stopped there?”
“Desensitizing Sammy,” Penny said. “She’s been working to get him used to the puppy ever since she got Buster. Inch by inch, pretty much.”
Why did he seem to know less than anyone about his own son?
“I thought you’d be at work,” Penny said. “Wasn’t Mrs. Jennings’s car out here a little while ago?”
Jack explained about the pills. “I have a call in to Sammy’s doctor, but I have the feeling we have an answer as to why Sammy got so sick. The information about what kind of drug it was is probably irrelevant by now, but it would’ve been good to know at the time.”
Maybe Arianna wouldn’t have been pushed to confess the truth, he thought darkly. Maybe he’d still be a happy idiot.
“Do you need someone to take care of Sammy today?” Penny glanced toward the barn. “I have some work to do, but I could bring him along.”
“I canceled my appointments. I can’t ask that of you.”
She nodded, sitting down on the edge of the steps to rub the puppy’s belly. “That’s all well and good, but what are you going to do tomorrow?”
“I don’t know,” he said, sighing.
“Look, why don’t you come up to the barn with me? You and Sammy don’t need to sit here by yourselves feeling blue.”
Jack had a “what does it matter” feeling that was pretty alien to him. “Okay,” he said. He’d been fueled by anger since Arianna’s big reveal, but it was starting to trickle away. Surging up now and then, yeah, but he just wasn’t the angry type.
Instead, hopelessness pressed down on him like storm clouds pressing against the mountains, dark and ominous. Thing was, he’d started to hope for a future brighter than the past. A future where Sammy would thrive and they’d have a warm, happy home. A future where Sammy would have the love and warmth of a mother.
A future where he’d have the heart-filling, joyous, expansive experience of loving and being truly loved.
But that had evaporated with Arianna’s stunning words, and now that anger wasn’t filling the hole that remained behind, he just felt dry and empty.
Up at the barn, Penny let dogs out of their crates and Jack walked them outside to do their business, carrying Sammy on his shoulders. It was true, Sammy was much more comfortable with dogs now. He guessed he had Arianna to thank for that. Not that he felt the least bit thankful to her.
Willie came in and took charge of Sammy, and once again, Jack was surprised. His son went readily to the rough-voiced older man.
The ranch was good for Sammy.
It was good for Jack, too, because he had close friends, like Penny and Willie, who refused to let him sink into despair. And suddenly, he wanted to know what they thought of the whole wretched situation. “Did Arianna talk to you?” he asked Penny.
She frowned. “I spoke to her briefly last night, when she asked if I could take care of Buster.”
Why’d she need that? Where was she staying?
He suppressed the questions he had no business asking, but Penny squinted at him. “She stayed down at Carson and Lily’s,” she said.
Had she read his mind?
And why was he so relieved that she hadn’t slept over at Nathan’s or traveled to see him?
“I tried to find out what was going on between the two of you,” Penny said with a hint of a smile, “but she said it wasn’t her story to tell. Said it was yours.”
“Well, it’s kind of hers,” he said. And then before he could think himself out of it, he blurted out, “She’s Sammy’s mother.”
Penny stared and sucked in a breath. “You’re kidding me. And you didn’t know?”
He shook his head.
“Chloe?”
“She knew. They kept it from me.”
There was a cough behind them. “Sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Willie said. “But no point pretending I didn’t overhear. That has a whole lot of ramifications, doesn’t it?”
Jack nodded once. “The main one being, I know now I can’t trust her.”
“That’s... Well, I
can see why you’d say that, for sure. But she’s a good person. This just doesn’t sound like her.” Penny frowned.
In a strange way, Jack was relieved that Penny thought well of Arianna and was taken aback by what she’d done. Made him feel like less of a fool. “I guess none of us knew her as well as we thought we did.”
They all took care of the dogs for a little bit, and finally, all three adults and Sammy ended up in the big field behind the barn, watching the puppy romp with the mother dog and her pup, the ones who’d taken him in.
“Dogs sure know how to be happy,” Willie said, chewing on a blade of grass.
Penny gave Jack a meaningful look. “Even if someone kicks them or hits them, they jump right back up, ready to love again. Our rescue program is proof of that.”
Was this some kind of heavy-handed lesson they were trying to teach? “I’m not a dog,” he said. “My memory’s a little longer.”
“Believe me, I get it,” Penny said, looking out across the horizon.
Jack realized with a jolt how much Penny had had to forgive, her husband having left her for another woman, an alleged friend.
“Did you ever hear how me and Long John got to be such good friends?” Willie asked.
Jack shook his head.
“He sought me out after ’Nam,” Willie said. Now he was looking out toward the mountains, too. “He’d been in battle with my twin brother and he wanted to tell me about it.”
Jack noticed that Penny put her hand on Willie’s back, patting it a little. He was guessing this story wouldn’t have a happy ending.
“They were in a firefight together, and Long John just...left him there,” Willie said. “Saved himself. Ricky was down—and hurt pretty bad, sure. He probably wouldn’t have made it. But...” The older man’s eyes welled up, and he swallowed hard, got himself under control. “His remains were never recovered.”
Jack blew out a breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. But before I was sorry, I was mad. I knocked Long John plumb out when I heard.”
Penny put a hand on Willie’s arm. “What made you forgive him?”
He shrugged. “There were a lot of circumstances. He was sorry. He regretted it.”
“Still,” Penny said, “that must have been hard to do.”
“It was,” Willie said. “I wanted someone to blame. But when I let go of that, I ended up with the best friend of my life.”
Both of the elders looked at Jack.
“You could end up with something good, too, Jack,” Penny said softly. “Something that would be good for Sammy, too, because you know it’s better for him to know his biological parents than not.”
“Parents. Plural.” Jack heaved a giant sigh. He couldn’t imagine opening his heart to Arianna, let alone to Nathan, too.
“First things first,” Penny said. “Why don’t you talk to Arianna?”
“No, uh-uh. She lied to me.”
“She was in an impossible situation, sounds like,” Penny said. “She was pregnant and desperate, and she had the chance to have her baby raised within her own family with a stable mother and father, only there was a condition. That’s what it sounds like anyway, right?”
Jack nodded. “Chloe apparently made her promise not to tell me or anyone.”
“So Chloe is as much to blame as Arianna, right?”
“Was,” Jack said. “Yeah. I guess.”
They were all silent for a few minutes, watching the puppies frolic. Sammy was actually rolling around with them just like any other little kid, and Jack couldn’t help but be warmed by that.
“Would you change anything that happened?” Willie asked finally.
The question stopped Jack short. Would he? If anything changed, he wouldn’t have Sammy. “No,” he said quietly, “I guess I wouldn’t.”
“Then it’s just possible,” Penny said, “that God had a plan.”
Jack thought about that as he walked back down to his house, slowly, adjusting to Sammy’s pace. He had to admit it was possible.
He just didn’t understand what the plan was.
* * *
The next morning, Jack woke up with his heart in his shoes. He had to move forward, had to find care for Sammy, had to go to work and keep his appointments. People were depending on him. But he didn’t feel like doing anything at all.
He’d spent the night looking out at the stars and thinking. He knew that Penny and Willie had his and Sammy’s good at heart. He even knew they were probably right. But his heart was so raw.
Why had Arianna let him kiss her and acted like she was attached? Because she was attached, or because she was Sammy’s mother?
He was ashamed to admit to himself that he could forgive her more easily if he knew she hadn’t been faking her feelings for him.
But if he couldn’t tell the difference between fake feelings and real ones, how could he ever succeed at a relationship?
He grabbed his phone and clicked off his “do not disturb” to start searching for sitters, and a text pinged in. From Arianna. In a moment of weakness, he’d lifted the block on her number.
He didn’t want to look at it, was mad when he couldn’t resist.
These six sitters are willing to care for Sammy today and for the rest of the week. All experienced and highly recommended.
There was a list with phone numbers he could just click.
Her own name was last on the list.
Jack didn’t want to accept help from her, but he did need care for Sammy. He only hesitated a minute before he clicked on the number of a woman who worked in the nursery at church.
He should have thought of her before; Sammy knew her. Soon, he’d arranged care for the rest of Sammy’s week.
He should thank Arianna. But she was obviously just trying impress him. He turned off the phone and started packing Sammy’s bag for the new sitter.
That night, when he and Sammy got home, there was a casserole on his doorstep with a note. “Pasta with Alfredo sauce and veggies. Microwave 2–3 minutes. Sammy loves it and you might, too. —A”
She needed to leave him alone. She wasn’t getting back in his good graces just by providing a babysitter and a meal. In no way did that outweigh the horrible betrayal she’d committed.
He did take the casserole inside and serve it up, though, because both he and Sammy were starving. They ate almost all of it in one sitting.
She did it all week. A new interactive toy that Sammy adored on sight. A six-pack of Jack’s favorite soft drink and two bags of the kind of pretzels he loved but could rarely find around here. A new jacket for Sammy with a note clipped to it: “You should cut out the tags before putting this on him—they’re too scratchy for him.”
He hated it that she knew more about his child than he did. Hated that her gifts were so perfect.
None of it was going to open the door to his heart.
The next time, he caught her: she was delivering a big portrait of Sammy, laughing. It was in her trademark primitive style, but a perfect likeness for all that.
He flung open the door. “Why can’t you just leave us alone?”
She paused in the act of setting down the portrait. “I can’t. He’s my son, and I’m not abandoning him again.”
Sammy had fallen asleep on the floor and Jack didn’t want to wake him, but he’d had enough. He was going to have to lay it out for her again. He came out onto the porch and shut the door behind him. “Do you realize how awful it is, what you did?”
She met his eyes steadily. “Yes, I do,” she said. “I’m truly sorry, Jack. I made a horrible mistake of judgment.”
He waited for the excuses, but they didn’t come. She just stood there, watching him.
He wasn’t going to forgive her.
“I’m hoping one day you’ll forgive me,” she said, seeming to read his mind, “a
nd let me see Sammy.”
“Not happening,” he said. “Some things are unforgivable.”
He went back inside, slammed the door and didn’t feel nearly as gratified as he should have. Especially since the loud slam woke up Sammy.
Later that night, his father called. Of course, he’d heard that Jack had missed a couple days of work. More disturbing, he wanted to know if the rumors around town were true.
Someone at the hospital must have overheard Jack and Arianna talking, or read a notation in Sammy’s chart. Or maybe Arianna had told one of her friends who’d spread the word. It didn’t matter; there was no point hiding something that would soon come out anyway, so Jack confirmed the rumors. “It’s true, Dad. Arianna is Sammy’s biological mother.”
They talked for a few minutes, Dad sputtering and angry. “Some things are unforgivable,” he said as he hung up.
The words sent a sharp chill through Jack.
He’d said those exact same words to Arianna just a few hours ago.
Was he turning into his father?
“Am I, God?” he demanded, looking upward.
He seemed to sense God chuckling, telling him it was his choice. Jack had free will: he could turn into his father, or not.
He thought about what Willie and Penny had said: that Arianna had faced an awful and impossible decision.
It was hard for Jack to put himself in her shoes—he was a man after all, and would never bear a child—but he did know something about putting his own feelings aside for the good of his son.
If she had done it, he could do it, too. Before he could lose his nerve, before his usual nonspontaneous habits could kick in, he texted her. Can you come over?
He’d envisioned a quiet talk, a start toward forgiveness, but when Arianna came in, Sammy woke up again. Her look at him was stark, hungry, but she turned her eyes toward Jack and didn’t go to Sammy.
Sammy saw her and his eyes widened. “Ah-ah. Aunt Ah-ah.” He held out his arms toward her.
They were clear words, and the first he’d spoken since way before his diagnosis.
The Nanny's Secret Baby--A Fresh-Start Family Romance Page 17
