Positive Discipline- the First Three Years

by Jane Nelsen

  Nelsen, Jane, Ashlee Wilkinson, and Bill Schorr. Jared’s Cool-Out Space. Available at www.positivediscipline.com.

  Pelo, Ann. The Goodness of Rain. Redmond, WA: Exchange Press, 2013.

  Piaget, Jean. The Origins of Intelligence in Children. New York: International Universities Press, 1952.

  Sammons, William, and T. Berry Brazelton. The Self-Calmed Baby. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1991.

  Schiller, Pam. “Early Brain Development Research Review and Update,” in Exchange magazine, Nov./Dec. 2010 (www.childcareexchange.com/library).

  Shore, Rima. Rethinking the Brain: Research and Implications of Brain Development in Young Children. New York: Families and Work Institute, 1997.

  Siegel, Daniel J., M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D. The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. New York: Delacorte Press, 2011.

  Siegel, Daniel J., M.D., and Mary Hartzell, M.Ed. Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive. New York: Tarcher Putnam, 2003.

  Singer, Dorothy G., and Tracey A. Revenson. A Piaget Primer: How a Child Thinks. New York: Plume, 1996.

  Summers, Susan Janko, and Rachel Chazan-Cohen, eds. Understanding Early Childhood Mental Health: A Practical Guide for Professionals. Baltimore: Brookes Publishing, 2012.

  Zentner, Marcel, and John E. Bates. “Child Temperament: An Integrative Review of Research, Programs, and Concepts,” in European Journal of Developmental Science, vol. 2, no. 1/2, 2008.

  ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

  CCFC: Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, c/o Judge Baker Children’s Center, 53 Parker Hill Avenue, Boston, MA 02120–3225. Ongoing information available at www.commercialfreechildhood.org.

  For free downloadable, month-by-month or annual milestone checklists, go to: www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones. These checklists also include warning signs of behaviors that should be assessed.

  Circle of Security. www.circleofsecurity.net.

  Duffy, Roslyn Ann. “From a Parent’s Perspective,” bimonthly column in Exchange magazine (Exchange Press, Redmond, WA 98073-3249, 800-221-2864). Information for parents and childcare programs at www.childcareexchange.com.

  Early Moments Matter: Small Steps, Long-Lasting Effects, a handbook and DVD produced in collaboration with the PBS television series This Emotional Life (www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife).

  Frieden, Wayne S., and Marie Hartwell Walker. Family Songs. Available as downloadable MP3 files at www.positivediscipline.com.

  Guys Read. www.guysread.com

  La Leche League. 1400 N. Meacham Road, Schaumburg, IL 60173-4808, 847-519-7730. www.lalecheleague.org.

  Mothers of Preschoolers. www.mops.org.

  Parents Action for Children. www.parentsaction.org.

  PEPS: Program for Early Parent Support. www.pepsgroup.org.

  Positive Discipline information:

  www.positivediscipline.org (for information about the nonprofit Positive Discipline Association and its workshops and training)

  www.positivediscipline.com (for books, other products, and helpful information)

  www.positivediscipline.ning.com (a free online community of parents, teachers, and professionals who are using Positive Discipline)

  Sensory Processing Disorder Foundation: www.spdfoundation.net.

  TRUCE: Teachers Resisting Unhealthy Children’s Entertainment. P.O. Box 441261, West Somerville, MA 02144. More information at www.truceteachers.org.

  Zero to Three: National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families. www.zerotothree.org.

  INDEX

  Abstract concepts, 3.1, 9.1, 16.1

  Abuse, 3.1, 3.2, 20.1

  Academics, early, 1.1, 3.1, 3.2, 19.1

  Accountability

  Actions, teaching with

  Active listening

  Active temperament

  Activity level, 10.1, 10.2

  Adaptability, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3

  Adaptations, 3.1, 8.1

  Adler, Alfred, 2.1, 16.1, 18.1

  Age-appropriate behavior

  autonomy and, 9.1, 9.2

  distraction and redirection

  in public places

  skill development and

  supervision and

  understanding, 9.1, 9.2

  Aggression

  biting, 6.1, 12.1, 16.1, 19.1, 20.1

  hitting and kicking, 3.1, 6.1, 8.1, 9.1, 12.1, 16.1, 16.2, 19.1, 20.1

  Alcohol abuse

  Allergies, food-related

  American Association of Pediatrics, 6.1, 13.1, 13.2, 13.3

  American Medical Association

  Angelou, Maya

  Anger

  dealing with

  gender and

  labeling feelings

  managing

  validating feelings

  Anxiety, 11.1, 17.1

  Approach responses

  Attachment

  importance of

  insecure

  Attention, crying and

  Attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD)

  Attention span, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 18.1

  Autism

  Autonomy, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 3.1, 5.1, 6.1, 8.1, 12.1, 12.2, 13.1, 13.2, 14.1

  age-appropriate behavior and, 9.1, 9.2

  defined

  development of, 2.1, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3

  developmentally appropriate behavior and, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3

  distraction and choices and, 8.1, 8.2

  encouraging, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3

  as life skill

  safe exploration and

  safe promotion of

  triple A’s of

  Baby blues

  Baby swings

  Back sleeping

  Bartlett, Kelly, n

  Beds, choice of

  Bedtime ABCs

  Bedtime routine

  Behavior, understanding belief behind

  Belonging, sense of, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4, 3.1, 11.1, 16.1, 21.1

  Beyond Remote-Controlled Childhood: Teaching Young Children in the Media Age (Levin), 18.1n

  Biology of Belief, The (Lipton), 4.1n

  Birth order

  Biting, 6.1, 12.1, 16.1, 19.1, 20.1

  Blame

  Blankies

  Board games

  Books versus technology, 18.1, 18.2

  Bottle-feeding, 1.1, 14.1

  Boundary setting, 1.1, 4.1

  Brain development, 2.1, 3.1, 17.1, 18.1, 18.2

  Brain research, 1.1, 2.1, 2.2

  Brain scans

  Bread and Jam for Frances (Hoban), 14.1n

  Breast-feeding, 1.1, 6.1, 7.1, 14.1

  Breath, holding

  Breathing, to calm down, 6.1, 6.2, 6.3

  Bruner, Jerome

  Bryson, Tina Payne

  Calm atmosphere, 6.1, 17.1

  Candy Land

  Capability, sense of, 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4, 2.5, 8.1, 9.1, 11.1, 12.1, 13.1, 20.1

  Cause and effect

  Chess, Stella, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4

  Child abuse, 3.1, 3.2, 20.1

  Childcare, 1.1, 3.1, 19.1

  assessment systems and

  attitudes and theories about

  benefits of

  choices

  consistency and, 19.1, 19.2, 19.3

  curriculum, 19.1, 19.2

  discipline, 19.1, 19.2

  early intervention and

  as extended family

  finding quality, 3.1, 19.1

  global perspective

  involvement in

  licensing, 19.1, 19.2

  physical setting, 19.1, 19.2

  quality, 19.1, 19.2, 19.3

  safety and health procedures, 19.1, 19.2

  staff, 19.1, 19.2

  technology and

  work and

  Childproofing, 3.1, 8.1, 10.1, con.1

  Children: The Challenge (Dreikurs and Soltz)

  Child’s world, getting into, 4.1, 5.1

  Choices

&n
bsp; acceptable

  distraction and, 8.1, 8.2

  offering limited, 9.1, 12.1, 12.2

  wrong sorts of, 8.1, 9.1

  Chutes and Ladders

  CLASS Toddler

  Classroom Assessment Scoring System (Toddler) (LaParo, Hamre, and Pianta), 19.1n

  Cognitive development

  Colic, 1.1, 13.1, 20.1

  Communication, 1.1, 2.1 (see also Language development)

  nonverbal, 6.1, 6.2

  Compassion, 1.1, 16.1, 16.2

  Competence, 2.1, 8.1, con.1

  Competency experiences, 11.1, 11.2

  Computers (see Technology)

  Confidence, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 8.1, 9.1, 11.1, 14.1, 14.2, 20.1, con.1 (see also Autonomy)

  Connection, sense of, 2.1, 2.2, 3.1, 3.2, 5.1, 6.1, 21.1

  Consequences, understanding

  Consistency, 13.1, 13.2, 18.1, 18.2, 19.1, 19.2, 19.3

  Contingent communication

  Contribution, sense of, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3

  Cool-out space

  Cooperation, 2.1, 12.1, 12.2, 13.1

  at mealtimes

  Courage, 1.1, 8.1, 8.2, 12.1

  Creativity, 3.1, 4.1, 10.1, 17.1

  Crib mobiles

  Criticism

  Crying, 1.1, 1.2, 6.1, 7.1

  at bedtime, 13.1, 13.2, 13.3, 13.4

  colic, 1.1, 13.1, 20.1

  differences in

  Cuddling, 1.1, 3.1

  Cultural differences, 4.1, 4.2

  Cultural values, sharing and

  Curfew

  Curiosity, 3.1, 12.1

  Curiosity questions, 5.1, 9.1, 11.1

  Curriculum, in childcare, 19.1, 19.2

  Date night

  Dear Parents: Caring for Infants with Respect (Gerber), 3.1n

  Death, experience of

  Defiance, 8.1, 9.1, 9.2

  dealing with

  Dentists

  Depression, 3.1, 17.1

  gender and

  postpartum

  Developmental abilities and needs, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 4.1, 4.2, 5.1, 5.2, 5.3, 7.1, 8.1 (see also Age-appropriate behavior)

  Diapers, disposable

  Dignity, 2.1, 9.1, 12.1, con.1

  Disappointment

  Discipline (see also Positive Discipline)

  in childcare, 19.1, 19.2

  defined, 2.1, 2.2

  methods to avoid

  root meaning of word

  vs. punishment

  Discouraged child, 11.1, 16.1

  Disrespect, 2.1, 5.1

  Distractibility, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3, 10.4

  Distraction, 5.1, 5.2, 5.3, 8.1, 9.1, 10.1, 12.1, 14.1, 15.1

  choices and, 8.1, 8.2

  DNA

  Doubt and shame, 2.1, 2.2, 5.1, 5.2

  autonomy versus

  punishment and

  Dreikurs, Rudolf, 2.1, 3.1, 5.1, 6.1, 10.1, 11.1, 11.2, 13.1

  Drug abuse

  Duffy, Roslyn, n

  Eating, 13.1, 14.1, 17.1

  bottle-feeding, 1.1, 14.1

  breast-feeding, 1.1, 6.1, 7.1, 14.1

  food fights, avoidance of

  food labels

  formula

  meal planning and preparation

  mealtime cooperation

  nutritional needs

  power struggles over, 14.1, 14.2

  presentation of food and

  regular family meals

  in restaurants, 5.1, 9.1, 9.2, 9.3

  snacks

  solid foods, introduction of

  special diets

  sugar and fat content, 14.1, 14.2

  unhealthy foods, 14.1, 14.2, 14.3

  weaning

  Einstein Never Used Flash Cards: How Children Really Learn—and Why They Need to Play More and Memorize Less (Hirsh-Pasek)

  Emotional development

  Emotional literacy

  Emotions (see also Trust)

  active listening and

  anger (see Anger)

  appropriate expression of

  calm atmosphere and

  connection and

  fear and insecurity

  gender and

  nonverbal communication and, 6.1, 6.2

  tantrums (see Temper tantrums)

  validating, 6.1, 6.2, 12.1

  Empathy, 16.1, 16.2

  Enactive representation

  Encouragement, 2.1, 4.1, 11.1, 19.1

  art of

  difference between praise and

  loving the child you have

  patience with child’s development

  providing opportunities for success

  self-fulfilling prophecies and

  showing faith

  teaching child skills

  Enjoyment of children, 3.1, 7.1, 8.1, con.1

  Erikson, Erik, 3.1n, 7.1, 7.2, 8.1, 8.2, 8.3, 8.4

  Erwin, Cheryl, 1.1n, 6.1n, 19.1n

  Ethics

  Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Boys, The (Erwin), 6.1n

  Excessive praise, 11.1, 11.2

  Exchange Press

  Exercise, 14.1, 17.1, 21.1

  Expectations, 4.1, 9.1, 9.2, 11.1, 11.2

  Exploration

  safe, 3.1, 8.1, 8.2

  Expressing (pumping) breast milk

  Eye contact, 4.1, 4.2, 8.1

  Failure, fear of, 11.1, 11.2

  Family, forms of

  Family bed

  Fantasy and reality, line between

  Fat and sugar content, 14.1, 14.2

  Fear and insecurity

  Feeding (see Eating)

  Feelings (see Emotions)

  Field Guide to Boys and Girls, A (Gilbert), 4.1n

  “Fight” or “flight” mode

  Fine motor control

  Firmness, 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 5.1, 5.2, 8.1, 8.2, 9.1, 9.2, 9.3, 9.4, 10.1, 12.1, 12.2, 14.1, 16.1, 19.1

  Flexibility

  Food fights, avoidance of

  Food labels

  Food (see Eating)

  Formula

  Foster, Steven, n

  Four R’s of Punishment

  Freedom and independence, 8.1, 8.2

  Freud, Sigmund

  Frustration, 3.1, 3.2, 4.1, 4.2, 16.1

  Garcia, Joseph, n

  Gender differences

  emotions and

  Gender identity

  Genes, 3.1, 4.1

  Gerber, Magda, 3.1, 3.2n

  Gilbert, Susan, n

  Glenn, H. Stephen

  Gluten

  Goodness of Rain, The (Pelo), 17.1n

  Gopnik, Alison, n

  Grandparents, 1.1, 1.2, 3.1

  Greenspan, Stanley I.

  Guilt, 2.1, 8.1, 9.1, 13.1, 19.1, 19.2, 19.3, 21.1

  Hair pulling

  while nursing

  Hamre, Bridget, n

  Harlow, Harry F.

  Hartzell, Mary, n

  Head banging

  Head Start

  Healy, Jane M., 3.1, 3.2

  Hearing problems, 20.1, 20.2

  Help! My Child Is Addicted to Screens (Yikes! So Am I): Positive Discipline Tools for Managing Family Screen Time (Nelsen and Bartlett), 18.1n

  High/Scope Perry Preschool Study Through Age 40

  Hirsh-Pasek, Kathryn

  Hitting and kicking, 3.1, 6.1, 8.1, 9.1, 12.1, 16.1, 16.2, 19.1, 20.1

  Hoban, Russell, n

  Hobbies

  Honesty, 1.1, 1.2

  Hope

  Houseplants, care of, 17.1, 17.2

  Humiliation, 2.1, 5.1

  Humor, sense of, 5.1, 12.1

  Imagination, 3.1, 4.1

  Imitation, 2.1, 3.1, 16.1

  Impulse control, 5.1, 8.1, 16.1, 16.2

  Individuality

  Individuation process

  Infant seats, 3.1, 3.2

  Infants (see Eating; Parenting; Sleeping)

  Initial response (approach or withdrawal), 10.1, 10.2, 10.3

  Initiative, 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 3.1, 12.1, 12.2, 13.1, 20.1

  Insecure attachme
nt

  Institute of Medicine

  Intensity of reactions, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3

  International Mud Day

  Internet (see Technology)

  Involvement of child

  Jared’s Cool-Out Space (Nelsen, Wilkinson, and Schorr), 5.1n

  Judgment skills

  Kagan, Jerome

  Kicking (see Hitting and kicking)

  Kindlon, Dan, 6.1, 6.2n

  Kindness, 1.1, 1.2, 2.1, 2.2, 5.1, 5.2, 8.1, 8.2, 9.1, 9.2, 9.3, 9.4, 10.1, 12.1, 12.2, 14.1, 19.1

  Know Your Child (Chess and Thomas), 10.1n

  Kuhl, Patricia, n

  La Leche League, 1.1, 14.1, 21.1

  Language development, 3.1, 3.2, 6.1, 16.1, 16.2, 17.1

  reading aloud

  talking to child

  LaParo, Karen, n

  Learning, early, 3.1, 3.2, 19.1

  Learning opportunities, mistakes as, 1.1, 1.2, 8.1, 11.1, 11.2, 14.1, con.1

  Lecturing, 2.1, 8.1, 9.1, 9.2

  “Let’s Pretend,”

  Levin, Diane E., n

  LGBT community

  Libraries

  Life skills (see Social and life skills)

  Lipton, Bruce H., n

  Listening, 2.1, 4.1

  active

  of child

  Logical consequences

  Logical decisions

  Lott, Lynn, n

  Love, 5.1, 8.1

  boundary setting and

  things done in name of

  unconditional, 1.1, 11.1, 11.2

  Love You Forever (Munsch), 1.1

  Main, Mary

  Manipulation, 1.1, 5.1, 7.1, 7.2, 7.3, 15.1

  Maori people

  Marital satisfaction

  Mayo Clinic

  McNally, David, n

  Meal planning and preparation

  Mealtimes (see Eating)

  Media (see Technology)

  Meltzoff, Andrew, n

  Mindsight

  “Mine” stage of development

  Mirror neurons, 2.1, 3.1, 6.1, 11.1, 13.1

  Mistakes, as learning opportunities, 1.1, 1.2, 8.1, 11.1, 11.2, 14.1, con.1

  Mistrust, trust versus, 7.1, 7.2

  Mobile devices, 18.1, 18.2, 18.3 (see also Technology)

  Monitors

  Montessori programs

  Mood, quality of, 10.1, 10.2, 10.3

  Mothers of Preschoolers

  Motor skills, 4.1, 13.1

  Munsch, Robert

  Muscle control

  Music, brain development and

  Mutual respect

  Naps

  National Accreditation Commission for Early Care and Education Programs (NAC)

  National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)