I was ready to open the door into womanhood. The last item on the list would help me achieve that—even though I knew that it would be the most difficult to accomplish. And I also realized that it could prove the most disappointing if I wasn’t careful.
So although I was in a hurry, I wasn’t in a rush.
I wasn’t looking for someone to hook up with for all time. I wanted someone who would create fireworks the last night of the cruise, someone who would make this vacation one I would never forget. I didn’t want to look back on this summer with regret or with a sense that I’d missed opportunities because I’d been hesitant to reach for what I wanted.
And I so wanted to no longer be a virgin. It was a rite of passage that was hanging over me, and I wanted it over and done with before I started college.
I spotted Mom and Walter standing outside one of the salons. Mom looked incredibly happy. She’d found her soul mate, her second love. My dad had been her first. But he’d been part of her life so long ago that I didn’t at all resent that she was getting married again. I was truly glad for her.
Our eyes were the same shade of green, our hair the same light blond. Strawberry blond, Mom always said, because when the sun hit it just right a hint of red glimmered along the strands. Mom’s hair was cropped short and curled around her face. I wore mine straight, past my shoulders. It had a lot of body, but very little curl.
When first meeting us people usually thought that Mom was my older sister. She was very young when she married my dad. She had me a year later. It was kinda cool having such a hip Mom.
Walter was a bit older and very distinguished looking—dark hair with silvery wisps at his temples. Gray eyes. Every time I saw him, he was wearing a jacket or a blazer, like he always expected to meet someone important. Or maybe it was simply that he was important.
“Hey, kiddo,” Walter said as I neared.
He was always calling me kiddo. At first I thought it was because he never could remember my name. But then I came to realize that it was his way of showing affection.
“Hey,” I said. And it occurred to me that he might want me to start calling him Dad after tonight. I wasn’t certain I’d feel comfortable doing that. I liked Walter, but I didn’t really see him as my dad. I saw him as Mom’s husband.
“Is your cabin satisfactory?” he asked.
I knew Walter wasn’t asking simply to make small talk. If I wasn’t happy, he’d do something about it. I couldn’t imagine having as much influence as Walter did.
I nodded. “It’s perfect. Thanks.”
“Do you have any questions about the cruise, getting around, what to expect?” he asked.
“No, sir. I think I’m cool with everything. I studied all the brochures you gave Mom, so I know what I want to do.” I wasn’t going to tell Walter or Mom that I also wanted to do some things that weren’t in the brochures.
“She’s probably already created a checklist of everything she plans to do,” Mom said with a loving smile. “Lindsay is a great believer in lists.”
I was also a great believer in not sharing every list with my Mom. I loved her to death, but it’s a fact of life that there are some things parents are better off not knowing. I figured she’d freak if she knew that I planned to have my own version of a honeymoon during this cruise.
“All righty, then, I’m going to leave you ladies to make yourselves more beautiful.” Walter leaned over and kissed Mom on the cheek.
“Although I don’t see how that’s a possibility.”
I fought not to roll my eyes. As sweet as he was, sometimes Walter got a little corny, although I’m sure Mom saw him as being romantic. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind having a guy tell me that I was beautiful.
“Have fun,” Walter said.
“We will,” Mom assured him.
As soon as Walter had disappeared amidst the throng of people, Mom hooked her arm through mine and marched me down the hall, like we were rejects from The Wizard of Oz.
“Are you sure your cabin’s all right?” Mom asked.
“It’s terrific, Mom.”
“Are you going to be okay staying by yourself?”
“A little late to worry about that, isn’t it?” I teased.
She laughed. “A mom always worries. I’m just sorry that Julie can’t stay past tonight.”
“Yeah, she’s totally bummed now that she’s had a chance to see a little of the ship. But I’ll make friends. I’ll be fine.”
“Walter and I have a two-bedroom suite. You could stay in the other bedroom—”
“No way!” I cut her off. The last place I wanted to be was where Mom and good old Walter could keep an eye on me. As soon as my obligations regarding the wedding were over, I planned to hit my to do list with determination until every item on it was checked off.
“I love my cabin,” I assured her. “I’ve been on my own forever. I love it.”
“I know, but this is a little different. You’ll be going places you haven’t gone to before—”
“I’ll find someone to hang around with. A lot of the activities are planned. I can hang out with a cruise director if nothing else.”
“You’re right. I need to get used to the fact that you’re almost a young woman,” she said wistfully.
And before this cruise was over I planned to cross the threshold into complete womanhood.
I followed Mom into the salon. It was way upscale. Nothing like the Cut ’n’ Curl where I usually got my hair done.
We planned for this time to be our last afternoon together as mother and daughter before Walter came into our lives on a permanent basis.
Mom and I had a wonderful afternoon of bonding. While we had our facial, manicure, and pedicure, we talked about old times and how our lives were about to change.
Mom, being typical Mom, wanted to reassure me that our relationship would never change.
But I knew it would. It was changing now, before our very eyes, as our makeup was applied by professionals and our hair was moussed and spritzed and twisted and curled.
The changes weren’t so much brought about by Mom getting married as they were by me getting out on my own. No curfew. No having to account for my whereabouts.
Mom might believe that things wouldn’t change.
But I knew differently.
I knew that they’ve already begun.
CHAPTER 3
After my French manicure dried, I gave Mom a quick kiss on the cheek and promised to meet her on the top deck a little before eight. Then I returned to my cabin where Julie was sitting on the balcony.
“How was the pool?” I asked.
“Awesome.” She glanced over her shoulder, and her eyes widened. “Wow! You look more beautiful than you did prom night.”
We’d both done the glamour thing for prom night. As a matter of fact we’d done so many things together that Mom was always teasing that we were like Siamese twins joined at the hip. That made going on this cruise without Julie seem like it had the potential of being a lonesome idea.
I mean, I’d taken vacations before—a few where Julie hadn’t come along. But I’d always been with Mom. This would be my first one where I would be completely and totally on my own.
“Is your mom nervous?” Julie asked.
I sat on a deck chair. “A little I think.”
I wanted to remain patient, not rush through one of the most important evenings of my mom’s life. But I was also ready to begin my best summer ever, my best vacation ever, and I couldn’t do that until after the ceremony.
Midnight was the witching hour. My obligations to Mom and Walter would be over, and I would truly be on my own, with my list in hand.
In the distance the sun was only just beginning to set, painting the sky in oranges, pinks, and lavenders. The water became a rich blue.
“You are going to have the best time,” Julie said.
“I’m counting on it.”
She held up a hand. “Don’t tell Ben, okay? But I met at least
half a dozen guys at the pool.”
Ben was one of the reasons that Julie wasn’t coming with me. She didn’t want to be away from him. And he didn’t want her to be away from him. Part of me thought it was wonderful to have that kind of commitment with someone—where you wanted to be with that someone all the time. But part of me also thought it was a little confining.
Maybe that was also one of the reasons that I’d never gotten serious with a guy—because while I longed to have a relationship, I also wanted freedom to do as I wanted.
“Were they cute?” I asked.
“Every one of them was too hot to believe.”
My excitement level soared at the prospect of meeting several cute guys. “I can hardly wait for this cruise to get underway,” I told her.
“You are so going to have a blast.”
“Ya think?”
“Definitely.”
I smiled at her assurance and enthusiasm. It was contagious.
“Well, I suppose I need to start getting dressed,” I said.
Julie was already in her dress. I figured she’d changed after she returned from the pool.
I went back into the cabin. Since my hair and makeup were already done, it didn’t take me long to finish getting ready. My shimmering lavender gown was sleek with flowing lines, had spaghetti straps, and a gathering of folds across the bodice that dipped down and moved fluidly when I did. I loved it.
I put on low-heeled lavender sandals; a pearl teardrop earrings and necklace set. I wanted to look elegant tonight—for Mom. After tonight I planned to go totally casual. I didn’t see myself putting on a fancy dress again until long after we’d returned to this port.
I held out my arms and twirled slowly. “What do you think?”
“Better than prom night.”
“Anything would be better than prom night.”
That was the night that I realized the guy who’d taken me wasn’t destined to be a long-term part of my life. He’d been more into hanging around with his buds than dancing with me.
I grabbed my small white beaded purse. “Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
We headed for the door.
“Where’s your duffle bag?” I asked.
“I took it to the car earlier. I figured things would be crazy after the wedding and reception. Besides, I was afraid the temptation to stow away would be too great.”
“I wonder what would happen if you did.”
“I’d lose my job and possibly my boyfriend.”
“Ben’s not that jealous,” I said.
“Yeah, right. I’m sure he’d absolutely understand my running loose on a cruise ship with a lot of hot single guys onboard.”
Hot single guys. I couldn’t wait to be let loose among them.
We left my cabin and walked to the elevator.
“There are probably just as many single girls on the ship,” I said.
Julie shrugged. “I didn’t see many at the pool.”
“I’m sure not everyone is onboard yet. We don’t sail for a few more hours.”
The elevator arrived and we got inside. I pushed the button for the Starlight deck, where tonight’s activities would take place. The captain was going to officiate the ceremony, which I thought was cool.
The elevator came to a stop. Julie and I stepped out onto the Starlight deck. It was so romantic. The sun was setting and twilight was easing in. Tiny white lights were strung along the railing. White cloth–covered tables had been set on one side of the deck. Candles flickered inside hurricane lamps. An ice sculpture of a mermaid wearing a wedding veil sat in the center of the table where punch cascaded into a bowl. Nearby was a multitiered wedding cake, topped with the traditional bride and groom figurines.
On the far side of the deck was a white latticed archway with flowers and lights woven through it. I could see a man wearing a captain’s uniform talking with Walter. Chairs had been positioned behind the archway. People were already sitting in many of them.
Near the archway was a small orchestra. I assumed they’d play Here Comes the Bride and provide music for the dancing after the ceremony.
“Where’s your mom?” Julie asked.
“I’m sure she’s around here somewhere. We’ll ask Walter.”
He was walking toward us. Quite a crowd had already assembled. Many people were standing and mingling.
“Hey, kiddo,” Walter said.
He really looked quite handsome all decked out in his tuxedo.
“Hi, Walter. You remember my friend, Julie, don’t you?” I asked, tilting my head toward Julie.
“Sure do. Did you change your mind about joining us?” Walter asked.
“I changed my mind, but my bank account didn’t.”
“Maybe you can join us on the next cruise,” he said. “They’re addictive.” He turned to me.
“Are you ready for the big moment?”
“You bet.”
“They’ve got your mom hidden off in a corner somewhere, but I wanted to introduce you to the best man before we got started here. I didn’t think you’d want to walk back down the aisle with a man old enough to be your father, so I asked my godson to stand as my best man.”
“Oh, Walter, you didn’t have to do that.” It seemed to me that he should have had his best friend, or whoever he wanted to stand with him, not make his decisions based on what he thought was best for me.
“Nonsense. Besides, he was glad to have the opportunity to come on this cruise, and it’ll give you someone to pal around with since your friends couldn’t join you.” He glanced over his shoulder toward a group of people and motioned with his hand. “Ryan, can you come here for a minute?”
A guy moved away from the crowd and walked toward us, from the shadows into the light. He had piercing blue eyes. His black hair was combed back. In a tuxedo, he was totally hot.
My heart started pounding. My mouth went dry. My mind went blank.
“This is Ryan McKenna, my godson,” Walter said. “Ryan, this is Lindsay, my soon-to-be stepdaughter, and her friend, Julie.”
“Hi,” Ryan said.
“Hello,” I cleverly responded. Not.
“It’s great to meet you, Ryan,” Julie said.
It was great to meet him. Why was I shy about saying so? I wondered. Why did my brain go into total meltdown whenever a cute guy talked to me?
“His father and I go way back. Business partners in fact. His dad is holding down the fort while I’m away,” Walter explained.
“That’s nice,” I said. Lame, Lindsay, so lame.
“Your cabins are right next door to each other,” Walter said. He leaned toward me, an apology in his eyes. “There’s that little matter of you being too young to travel alone, so Ryan is there to look after you.”
Great. Ryan, the hunk, was supposed to be my baby-sitter when I so did not need nor want one. I absolutely wanted to die from mortification at the implication that I was too young to be without a chaperone.
“That’s not really necessary—”
“I don’t mind,” Ryan interrupted me.
But I minded. I had my list of things to accomplish, and I didn’t need someone watching over me.
“Thanks, but—” I began.
“Mr. Hunt?”
The interruption came from a young woman wearing a ship’s uniform.
“Yes, Cindy?” Walter said.
“We’re ready to begin. If you and your best man want to join the captain beneath the archway, I’ll get your bride.”
“All right.” Walter kissed me on the cheek.
“See you in a bit.”
Ryan followed Walter to the latticed arch.
“This cruise could not have gotten any better,” Julie said.
“I don’t know how you figure that.”
“You’ve got that hottie right next door.”
“Yeah, but he’s Walter’s godson.”
“So?”
It was beyond explaining. Yes, he was hot. But I wanted w
ild nights, romance, drinking, kissing, and dancing.
I didn’t want someone to “pal around” with. His presence was going to seriously limit my escapades.
CHAPTER 4
“Miss Darnell?”
I turned. Cindy stood there with an expectant look on her face.
“We’re about to begin,” she said. “If you’ll come with me, I’ll take you to where your mother is waiting.”
“Right.” Trying to stifle my disappointment that I wasn’t going to be as “on my own” as I’d hoped, I looked at Julie. “I’ll see you when this is over.”
“Okay. I’m going to find my mom and sit down.”
As I watched her walk away, my gaze shifted to Ryan, who was standing beneath the archway. He was definitely cute, and he seemed nice. Palling around with him would probably be fun, but it wouldn’t help me accomplish the things on my list. I couldn’t see myself being wild with someone I might see after the cruise, someone who was in tight with Walter. Very counterproductive.
It was a problem I’d have to deal with later, though. Right now, it was time to get my mom married.
I followed Cindy to the rear of the deck where Mom was standing behind a little partition. She smiled at me with so much love in her eyes that it almost hurt to look at her. She looked really beautiful, and I knew I’d forever remember this moment with her. She was about to stroll off into her future, and I was waiting on the edge to walk off into mine.
“Here, I’ll take your purse,” Cindy said to me, and relieved me of my little beaded bag.
I hadn’t really thought about how it would look to carry it up the aisle, or I would have given it to Julie before she walked away. Cindy handed Mom a large white rose-and-orchid bouquet, and gave me a similar but smaller one. The sweet fragrance wafted around me.
“Are you ladies ready?” Cindy asked.
Mom squeezed my hand and sighed deeply. “We’re ready.”
“I love you, Mom.” I hugged her, and then followed Cindy out from behind the partition.
The wedding ceremony was a fairly simple affair, and I suppose that they performed so many on the ship that they didn’t do rehearsals. I was okay with that. I’d attended enough weddings that I had a good idea of what my role was: walk to the front, step to the side, and hold the bride’s bouquet when the groom was ready to place the ring on her finger.
Caribbean Cruising Page 2
