by Erin Trejo
“I got you, Whisper.” His words are a comfort and a curse. He can’t have me. He can’t keep me because that would go against all his father has built. It would against their fucked-up rules.
“Don’t hate me when it’s all over, Steele,” I say as my eyes slowly begin to flutter closed. My chest aches.
“I could never hate you.”
“You will.” And as the new plan forms in my head, I know for a fact that he’s going to hate me just as soon as I can figure all this out.
24
Steele
She broke down last night. I put her in bed and watched her worn out body as she slept. Her words ring in my head and I can’t make them stop, not even now as I watch her on the front deck, headphones in her ears as she dances freely.
“She okay?” Callan asks, taking a seat next to me.
“No.”
“That’s it? Just no?” He chuckles.
“She’s messed up, Callan. She killed Nathan and Debra.”
“Shit,” he hisses under his breath. Shit is right.
“You talk to her?” I shake my head.
“She was a mess. Fell asleep.”
“She looks okay today,” he says, sounding as confused as I feel.
“Yeah, doesn’t make any sense does it?” He looks over at me and I shrug.
“You think she’s planning something.” It isn’t a question and if I can feel it, so can he. I nod my head once when she spins around and spots us watching her. A smile tugs across her face before she goes back to her dancing.
“You see that? Last night she was breaking down in tears. Shaking and not able to talk. Now she’s dancing and smiling, Callan. Fucking smiling!” I growl.
“She’s coping.”
“No, it’s more than that.” I bring the cup of coffee to my lips and watch her a little more. She’s up to something. I can feel it. But what? What does she know that I don’t?
“What do you want to do?”
“Our plan needs to move faster than we planned on. Dad needs out. McLean needs handled.”
“I agree but how are we going to get them all at once? By now they have to know about Nathan and Debra.”
“They don’t give a shit about them,” I add.
“No, probably not, but who the hell were they delivering her to?” That’s a damn good question. One I don’t have an answer for. I lean back in my seat and take her in. The way she moves, her body flexing. It would be wrong to keep her. It would be wrong to want to claim her and give her the goddamn world. So why do I want to do just that?
“Can I do anything?” Shane’s voice sounds behind us. Callan turns, looking over his shoulder with a smile. He nods for her to come to him and she does.
“We’re just thinking. You okay?” he asks her. I know he’s missed her. Shit went down with our dad years ago. Shane got stuck in the middle and the fact that she was basically a nobody had Callan choosing sides. My dad told him that if he didn’t want her to suffer, he would walk away. He did just that and it broke the man in the process.
“Dad,” I say softly.
“What?”
“Dad. Who the hell else would stand to lose anything? Her mom’s dead. Has been for years.”
“And her dad? Where the hell is Macron?” That’s the question isn’t it. Where he is?
“We need to go see Andy.”
“McLean? Why?” Callan asks.
“Think about it. Dad has kept tabs on him for years. Why? Why does he care what that asshole does? We have far more power than he does.”
“Jesus Christ,” Callan mumbles. It all must hit him at once. I smell the weed before Knox comes strolling in with a joint between his lips.
“What are we talking about?” he asks, passing me the joint. I take it in my fingers and bring it to my lips, inhaling deeply.
“We just figured out who Whisper’s dad is,” I inform him. He looks at me and furrows his brows.
“Who?”
“Andy McLean.”
“Bullshit,” he says with a half smirk.
“Think about it. Dad keeps Andy close, right? Why? Why would he do that? The Alder’s run it all. The only one that could possibly challenge that is that little dancer out there on the porch.” All eyes turn to her. She must feel it because she stops dancing and slowly turns to face us all. Her eyes bounce from one person to the next before they stop on mine. I motion for her to come inside and I’m almost shocked when she does.
“What the hell are you all staring at?”
“We think we know who your real dad is,” I inform her.
“What? Who?”
“Andy McLean.” She shakes her head slowly, her lips parting. “What? What is it?”
“A. M.”
“What?”
“A. M…” she shakes her head. “I’ve had a phone number. It was given to me so long ago. I…”
“What number, Whisper? What are you talking about?”
“A number! The initials on the paper were A. M. I was told that if I ever got into too much trouble to call the number! I never called it. I never thought about it. I just saved it in my phone and that was it. I didn’t need any help. I’ve never needed help!” I shove out of my chair and grab her shoulders, forcing her to calm down and focus on me.
“Whisper. It could be a trap. I need to know that number.” She shakes her head, looking confused, but pulls her phone from her pocket. She passes it to me, and I tap the screen pulling up her contacts. A. M. is right there at the top. I almost lose it when I open it and see the number attached.
“You have got to be shitting me!” I roar, squeezing the phone in my hand so hard I’m afraid it may snap.
“What? Who is it?” Knox moves to stand closer to me. Shock is a bitch. I can feel it in my chest. The phone is taken from my hands.
“It’s Ray. It’s Ray’s number,” Knox says.
“No way. What the hell does Ray have to do with any of this?” Callan roars as he jumps to his feet. It’s all too damn much. I’ve trusted Ray. He’s been more of a father to me than my own has.
“Steele?” Whisper says my name, but I can’t deal with her right now. “Steele?” One more time and I snap. I drag my heated gaze toward her, anger and rage coursing through my veins. Grabbing her around the back of the neck, I slam her body against the wall.
“Stop saying my name!”
“Steele!” Knox roars.
“You are fucking up everything! Maybe I should be the one to hand you over, huh? Pass you off to Dad so he can kill you as planned?”
“Steele!” This time it’s Callan.
“Do your best, Steele. You think I haven’t been broken before?”
“Not by me.” She laughs. Laughs in my face.
“You aren’t the worst of the worst, Steele. You think you are. I’ve brushed myself off every single time and you know what? I’ve picked up the pieces and glued them together all by myself.” Why does that piss me off more?
“The problem with me? I will take those pieces, Whisper. I’ll take them and you will never get them back,” I growl in her face.
“That’s enough, Steele!” Callan’s hands come down on my shoulders jerking me away from Whisper. I watch the fire, that spark in her eyes as it ignites. She wants to push me, and God help me I want her to. Instead, I turn on my heel and storm toward the basement door.
“Don’t you walk away from me!” I stop dead in my tracks when I hear her voice. Slowly, I turn to face her. The look in her eyes, God, why does she affect me like this?
“I already did.” She tilts her head to the side to study me a second.
“So that’s it? You walk away from me?”
“What are we, Whisper?” She looks at me confused.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what the hell are we? Boyfriend, girlfriend? Fuck buddies? What?” That’s a low blow even for me.
“We aren’t shit, Steele.” She turns this time to walk away and I feel like a complete asshole. Not th
at I will try to stop her. I won’t. I need the space to breathe. I need to make sure that she’s far enough away from me when this ticking time bomb inside of me blows, because once it starts, there will be no stopping me.
25
Whisper
Steele won’t even look in my direction and on one hand, that stings. But on the other hand, it’s better this way. We were testing each other’s patience from the day we met. Neither of us were willing to back down from the showdown that is us.
“He’ll come around,” Callan says, resting his hand on top of mine.
“I don’t need him to. I need this to be over so I can get on with my life.”
“I heard Leddy offered you a job. That’s pretty awesome, Whisper.” His smile is infectious, and I find myself smiling along with him.
“Yeah. I couldn’t believe it. She talked with some of her people and they are opening a studio right outside of Rolling Springs.”
“I’m proud of you. You know that right?” Why does he do this? Does he want me to cry? I’m not that girl. I don’t cry over little things like this.
“Stop, Callan.”
“No, I mean it. You deserve to be happy, Whisper. You deserve to have a life that you’ve always wanted and dancing is what you do. I’m really proud of you for not giving up,” he quips.
“I will never give up. That’s something I don’t have in me. There were times I thought about it, but something would nag at me and I would just get back up and do it again.” Callan smiles before pulling me into a hug. I don’t know how I feel about this newfound friendship. I think I liked it better when he was a dick.
“You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I have no doubt about anything you want to do, Whisper.”
“Stop trying to make me cry, Callan!” I shove him back a step and he laughs as Knox walks up.
“What are you two fighting about?” He eyes me up and down like he always does with his heated gaze.
“She’s going to work with Leddy at the new studio.” Knox’s eyes light up.
“No shit? Guess that means we will be seeing more of each other,” he says making it a point to wiggle his eyebrows.
“What the hell does that mean?”
“Who do you think she asked to help?” I groan and roll my eyes even though I’m happy that Knox will be around when this is all over.
“God, kill me now.”
“I can arrange that.” Steele’s growl vibrates through my body. Even when he’s being a prick, I can’t find it in myself to hate the man. In fact, it’s almost the opposite. I want his brooding mean ass even more.
“You could try,” I add.
“Is that a challenge?” He steps up behind me, his warmth spreading through me like wildfire. His hand slowly wraps around my neck as he squeezes lightly.
“What are you doing, Steele?” I ask when he presses himself closer to me. I wish he didn’t affect me like this. I wish I could walk away but I can’t. He holds me in a cage that’s surrounded by him. No matter which way I look, he’s all I see.
“I think I’m claiming you right the fuck now.”
“Claiming me?” I huff out a laugh. “I told you once, I don’t belong to anyone.”
“Yeah, I remember that but I also remember not giving a shit.” I spin in his hold and look up into his dark eyes. If anyone were to claim me, I’d want it to be Steele.
“I don’t like your attitude.”
“I don’t like your smartass mouth.”
“I don’t like how demanding you are.”
“I don’t give a fuck. I said you were mine and that’s the end of the discussion.”
“I hate you,” I snarl, meaning it to a point. I do hate the way he causes me to react to him. I hate the way my body betrays me when we’re close. There are so many things I hate about this man.
“I hate you too. Now shut the hell up and go sit down. We need to figure out what we’re doing.” I roll my eyes and pull out of his grasp before sitting on the couch next to Callan, throwing my leg over his. I make it a point to watch Steele squirm before winking at Shane. She knows what I’m doing.
“What are we doing?” Knox asks sitting on the other side of me, wrapping his arms around my waist. His fingers move slowly over my stomach as butterflies erupt inside of me. I like Knox and he can illicit feelings in me, but nowhere near what I feel for Steele. Nevertheless, I see the way Steele’s jaw is clenching.
“First, you’re going to get your goddamn hands off her,” Steele growls. Knox laughs.
“I don’t think so. She likes it when I touch her.” I have to suppress the laugh that wants to escape me, biting my lips between my teeth. I can see Steele basically vibrating from here.
“We don’t need to discuss anything. I already have a plan,” I announce.
“Which is?” Steele asks dragging his eyes to meet mine.
“You’re going to turn me in to your dad.”
“Like fuck!” Callan roars, shoving my leg off his lap and standing to his feet.
“He’s right, that’s not smart, Whisper,” Knox whispers in my ear. Callan paces the floor pulling at his hair before turning to Steele.
“Are you going to say something to her? Stop her?” He just shrugs and watches me.
“I think she’s right. Turn her in.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Callan snaps, moving in on him. I don’t move and neither does Knox. We both sit here and watch what’s happening because frankly, there is no way to stop them once they start.
“Should we help?” Shane asks.
“No,” Knox and I say in unison. I grin at him over my shoulder.
“She could be killed!” Callan roars as Steele climbs to his feet.
“Yeah, she could.” I snort a laugh.
“And you’re okay with that? Huh, Steele?”
“No, I never said I was okay with it. I just simply said that she could. I just claimed her ass as mine, do you really think that I’d let him hurt her?” Steele’s voice has changed. It’s calmed as he talks to him now. I’m not sure how I feel about it to be honest. I get a tingly feeling at the way he says that he claimed me.
“Then what the hell are we doing?” Callan asks exasperated. He runs his hand through his hair and takes a step back from Steele. Shane stands and moves toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Five dollars says they already fucked,” I say over my shoulder to Knox. He chuckles.
“Not a chance. I already know they did.” We both laugh when Steele’s eyes come to rest on us. “Stop laughing, we’re stirring the beast.” I giggle and lean my head back on his shoulder.
“Not like we haven’t done that before.”
“It won’t happen again!” Steele’s voice thunders through the room.
“Oh, it will happen again. Knox is a good dancer. I plan on taking him to Intensity with me when this shit’s over.” The way Steele’s chest heaves, I know I need to stop, but that feral look in his eyes is one that I crave from him. Knox nudges me and slips off the couch, heading for the kitchen. I shove myself up off the couch and start to follow him when Steele’s arms wrap around me. He lifts me off the ground and carries me to the steps, taking two at a time as he descends into the basement.
“What are you doing?”
“Giving you a goddamn reminder not to fuck with my head anymore.”
26
Steele
It all feels like a bad idea. We’ve gone over it time and time again, but I still don’t like it. I bring the joint to my lips and inhale deeply before blowing it through my nose.
“It feels wrong,” I say once more.
“You’ve said that already.” Callan the jackass says. It’s not his girl that’s going to be in the line of fire, it’s mine.
“I know what you’re thinking asshole and she means something to all of us,” Knox chimes in, looking me dead in the eye. I hate that they can read me, but they are my brothers and we’ve always been close.
“Does she?” I ask, tilting my head to the side to look at him. I can see the fury in his eyes with that question. The truth is, I know how much she means to all of us and that pisses me off. I don’t know exactly why but it does.
“Fuck you, Steele. I don’t want anything to happen to her either!” Knox roars, clenching his hands at his sides. I straighten my spine ready to throw blows when she walks out of the cabin.
“What’s with the pissing match?” she asks looking from Knox to me.
“Your man thinks he’s the only one that can care about you,” Knox tells her. Whisper laughs.
“Steele doesn’t care about me. He cares about what he gets from me.” That’s it. I’m sick of this shit. I might not be big on feelings and all that, but I do know what I feel for her. Grabbing her shoulder, I spin her around to face me.
“Say it again and I will spank your ass raw.” Whisper raises her eyebrows, her challenge waiting.
“Was it a lie?” she asks, placing her hands on her hips. I stick the joint back between my lips and inhale deeply. Holding the smoke in my lungs, I lean down into her face.
“Everything you just said was a lie,” I say, blowing the smoke into her face.
“Are we sharing feelings now, Steele? Is that what you want to do?” I know she has a hard time with what she feels just as much as I do. I know she wants to deny it all and keep up that front, but I’ll be damned if I let her downplay what we have between us.
“Yeah. I think it’s about time shit gets out in the open, don’t you?” There it is. The fire I’ve grown to love.
“Fine. You want truth? Here it goes!” She screams throwing her arms out wide.
