“I can’t be sorry about it either.” I reach up, grabbing his jaw and pulling him closer. “But don’t do that shit to me again. Lies and deception are the fastest way to make me stop loving you. Do you understand?”
“I understand, love.”
I squeeze his cheeks, pushing his lips out, and press a kiss to his puckered mouth. “Good. Now go. The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll be back, and I can be at ease.” Because I damn sure won’t sleep a wink while he’s gone to retrieve these guns from Boston.
“I love you.”
“I love you too. And please be careful.”
“I’m always careful.”
“I know, but I have to say it because it’s not just you and me. We have a baby to think of now.”
I remember the days when I prayed for the things I have in my life now. A husband I love. Our first child. I couldn’t bear to lose either of them.
“Everything I do is for both of you. There’s never a time when I’m not thinking of you and this baby.”
Stephan opens the door and comes back into the house from the garage. “We’ve been out here warming this truck up for twenty minutes. Are you coming or what?”
“I’m coming. I’m coming.”
Luca kisses me, and I grip the front of his coat, holding on to him a little longer than I ordinarily would. “I’ll be back home before you wake up. “
Something feels off. And I don’t know what… until two hours later when the contractions begin.
Going to my sister’s room down the hall, I tap lightly on her door. “Gemma? Are you still awake?”
“Yeah, come in.”
She sits up and turns on the lamp at her bedside.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bother you.”
“It’s fine. I wasn’t asleep. Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. I’ve started having contractions.”
“How long ago?”
“They just started.”
“How far apart are they?”
“I think about eight minutes.”
“Is that close?”
“Not really but I’m worried that this is the beginning and something will happen before Luca gets back.”
“You need to lie down and relax.”
“Do you mind if I stay in here with you?”
“Of course not. It’ll be like old times.”
Gemma tosses back the covers and I climb into bed beside her.
“Aren’t you worried about Stephan?”
“Of course, I’m worried. I wish he was here with me instead of out there moving guns in a truck on icy roads in the middle of the night. But that is what Mafia men do. And we sit here worrying. That is what Mafia wives do.”
I’m a Mafia wife. Gemma is a Mafia fiancée.
“We’re younger versions of Mamma. Both of us. How in the world did that happen?”
“You married a Rossini man, and I’m about to do the same exact thing.”
“It’s strange how history repeats itself.”
I inhale deeply and breathe out slowly when I feel the tightening of my upper abdomen.
“Contraction?”
“Oh yeah.”
“What does it feel like?”
Using my fingers, I press against each side of my lower abdomen. “The worst menstrual cramps I’ve ever had in my life.”
Gemma breathes with me and rubs the top of my belly until the pain subsides.
“I wonder how soon Stephan will want to have a baby.”
“He’s going to be your husband. Ask him.”
“I want to spend time with Stephan and get to know him before we have a baby. I’m afraid he’ll tell me he wants one right away.”
You should know your husband before marriage and pregnancy. That’s the way it’s supposed to be, and it makes me sad that Luca and I didn’t have that special time together. We’re going to be parents soon, and I’m still trying to figure out who Luca is.
“Are you going to use birth control?”
“Rhythm method and withdrawal.” Gemma holds up her hand and overlaps her middle finger across her index. “Fingers crossed.”
Another pain begins and I groan. “Luca will be lucky if I ever have sex with him again.”
Hour one: contractions eight minutes apart.
Hour two: contractions seven to eight minutes apart.
Hour three: contractions six to seven minutes apart.
And each hour they’re getting harder.
“These are definitely getting closer. The last two weren’t quite seven minutes apart.”
I’m in labor. It’s still very early, but it’s labor. And my level of anxiety is rapidly rising.
I want Luca here.
“They’ve been gone five hours, so that means they’re on their way back. Don’t worry. Luca is going to make it back in plenty of time to be here when this baby comes.”
The next contraction begins, and it’s the most painful one I’ve had. “Ohhh!”
“Breathe, Em. Breathe in deeply and out slowly.”
When the contraction ends, I slide to the edge of the bed. “I can’t lie like this anymore. I need to get up and walk.”
Gemma follows me down the hall and into my bedroom. “Do you think we should wake Viviana and let her know your labor has started?”
“No, I think it’s too early for that. It’ll be hours before it’s time to go to the hospital. We should let everyone sleep. With this being my first, it’ll probably take a while.”
I can’t believe I’m thinking this, but I hope it takes a while. I can’t give birth while my husband is on the road doing a job.
Please hurry home, Luca. Please come back to me. I don’t want to do this without you.
Hour four: contractions five to six minutes apart.
Hour five: contractions four to five minutes apart.
Gemma rubs my lower back while I lean over the bed. “Your doctor told you to come to the hospital when your pains were five minutes apart.”
“I know, but Luca should be back here in an hour. I don’t want to go without him.”
“Someone will make sure he comes to the hospital as soon as he gets back.”
“The contractions aren’t that bad. I have plenty of time.”
“You’re such a liar. I can see how much pain you’re having.”
I shake my head. “I’m not doing this without him.”
“You may not have a choice if your contractions keep getting harder and closer.”
“I’ll know when we need to go.” Surely, I’ll know.
“It’s not as if he’s going to be in the delivery room with you. He’ll be out in the waiting room, smoking cigars with all the guys.”
I don’t know if I believe that. Luca is far more excited than the average father-to-be. I don’t see him casually smoking it up while he waits to hear if I’ve given him a son or daughter.
“He has to be there because I want to be the one to tell him if it’s a boy or girl.”
“Uh, Em. You’re making me so nervous by waiting around.”
Viviana appears in the doorway of my bedroom and taps against the frame. “Everything okay in here?”
“Everything is not okay. She’s in labor, and she won’t go to the hospital because Luca hasn’t made it back from the run yet.”
“How long have you been having contractions?”
“Since ten o’clock last night.”
“Emilia, that’s seven hours.”
“It hasn’t been that bad.”
“She’s lying. She can hardly breathe through them.”
“I think you should go to the hospital.”
“But Luca will be back soon. I want him to be there with me.”
“You’re accomplishing nothing by staying here. This baby doesn’t know that its father isn’t home yet. It’s coming regardless.” Viviana shakes her head. “And weeks before we need it to, I might add.”
I couldn’t care less what the five families think
about my baby’s date of birth in regard to my wedding day.
“I’ll need someone to bring Luca to me as soon as he gets back.”
“Absolutely, without delay.”
I don’t want to go without him. But I also don’t want to deliver this baby here without a doctor. “All right. I’ll go.”
“Where is your bag?”
“Luca put it in the car a few days ago.”
“Good. I’ll get dressed and wake Marco. He’ll want to know that our first grandchild is about to make his debut into the world.”
“Sal went with Luca and Stephan.”
“Then I’ll wake Tony to drive us.”
After Gemma helps me change, we find Marco and Viviana waiting for us at the foot of the stairs. “I hear my grandson decided to make his appearance while his father is away?”
“He’s trying very hard.”
“Don’t worry, Emilia. Luca will be here when his son comes into the world.”
Everybody keeps saying that, but I’m not so sure. “I hope so.”
“Careful now,” Marco says, taking my hand and helping me into the back seat of his Lincoln.
“I’m in.”
Tony lifts the garage door and gets into the driver’s seat. “Which medical center are we going to?”
Bang.
POW. POW. POW.
Thick, sticky red liquid and matter splatters all over the interior of the car. And me.
Tony’s brains.
“Down! Everybody down!” Marco yells.
I try to bend over, but my abdomen won’t let me lower my head as I should. Physically, it isn’t possible, and my only alternative is to slide down onto the floorboard of the back seat.
Marco slams the car door shut and dashes to the garage door controller, striking his hand against the button to close it.
One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three-one thousand. Four one-thousand. Five one-thousand. Six one-thousand. It’s frightening how many shots can be fired in a matter of only six seconds.
The shots don’t stop when the garage closes and it does little to prevent them from reaching us.
“They’re going to shoot through the door. We can’t stay here. Everyone has to move inside.”
I’m not a mother yet, and my child hasn’t even had the chance to live.
Collateral damage. That isn’t the way I want either of us to die
“Marco, help Emilia. She must go first.”
I don’t know if she believes I’m more deserving of going first because I’m pregnant, or if I’m easier to get out of the car because of my small size. Maybe I’m a hindrance to her escape with my position on the floor. I don’t know and it doesn’t matter. I don’t have time to think about it because Marco slings open the door, pulling me out of the car and into the safety of the house.
Leaving Viviana and my sister behind.
Marco shoves me at Guido, one of the Rossini soldiers, and I fall into his arms. “Take her. I’m going back for Viv and Gemma.”
Gripping the front of Guido’s shirt, I press my face against his chest when the next contraction begins. “Ohhh!”
“What’s wrong? Have you been shot?”
“No. I’m… in… labor.”
“Shit… shit.”
“What is happening?” Zee Zee shouts, rushing down the stairs as quickly as her legs will carry her.
Guido grips me beneath my arms, holding me up while Marco, Viviana, and Gemma join the growing crowd of people at the bottom of the stairs.
“Will someone tell me what is happening?” Zee Zee shouts.
“We’re being attacked,” Marco says.
“By the Gasparis?”
“One would presume.”
“How many of them are there?”
“I don’t know, but that was at least a dozen guns firing at us at the same time.” Marco curses below his breath. “They came tonight because they somehow knew Luca, Stephan, and half of the soldiers from the compound wouldn’t be here.” Marco shakes his head. “Stupid. I shouldn’t have sent so many soldiers on the transport.”
Viviana places her hand on Marco’s shoulder. “Don’t be angry with yourself. You were protecting our sons and the arsenals in the trucks. Where would we be if the Gasparis got their hands on that kind of artillery?”
“Ohhh!” A contraction begins and I grip Guido’s shirt again.
“She’s in labor?” Zee Zee asks.
“Yes, and she has been for quite some time. She needs to be at the hospital.”
“When did it start?”
“Several hours ago.”
“Well. It looks as though we’re having a baby in the middle of all this chaos.”
“No, no, no, I can’t give birth to this baby while we’re under attack.”
“The child doesn’t care. It’s coming regardless.” Zee Zee looks at Guido. “Please carry Emilia to her bedroom.”
Guido scoops me up in his arms and climbs the staircase, and every Rossini woman, including my sister, follows him. He jostles me in a less-than-gentle manner with each step he takes.
“You should change into a comfortable nightgown. Preferably one that you don’t mind tossing in the trash when all of this is over,” Zee Zee says.
“When what’s over?”
“After you deliver the baby.”
I hope she’s kidding. “I can’t have this baby at home without a doctor.”
“Oh, you can. Trust me.”
“We need to call for help,” Gemma says.
“Honey, I checked the phone already. They’ve cut the lines,” Viv says.
“I don’t want you to worry, child. I’ve attended many births, and all of my children were born at home. It’s a natural process.”
“I don’t want natural. I want twilight sleep.”
Our housekeeper, Laura, comes into the bedroom. “Yes, Mrs. Rossini?”
“We’re going to need lots of linens and towels. And any kind of antiseptic we have in the house.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Oh God. This is happening. Luca’s grandmother is going to be the person who brings this baby into the world. Not the brilliant doctor that Luca insisted upon.
Anything could go wrong and what then?
My life and the life of my baby are in Zee Zee’s hands.
In God’s hands.
Pray. I need to pray. I need to confess my sins and ask God to forgive me for the wrong I’ve done.
“Oh, oh. Here comes another contraction.”
“Up, child. You need to be upright until you feel the urge to push.”
Push? I’m not pushing. I won’t push this baby out. I will hold him in until next month if I have to.
Zee Zee takes one hand and Viviana takes the other, pulling me off the bed to a standing position. “Stand, walk, squat. Do whatever feels best to you until the urge comes.”
Holding the bed, I bend at my waist and over the mattress when the next pain comes. Oddly, it takes away the pressure I feel in my lower back, which is some relief.
“Come on, Em. Breathe in and out, deep and slow. You can do this,” my sister says.
I don’t want to do this. Not this way.
Within the hour, my contractions are so close that it feels like there’s no break between them. I’m in constant pain.
“I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this,” I mutter below my breath.
Zee Zee rubs my lower back. “It won’t be much longer now, child. You’re close.”
“I can’t do it. I’m not made for this. You said so yourself.”
“You were a Bellini then, but you’re a Rossini now. And you’re going to give Luca a fine son.”
The next contraction begins and it’s different. The baby feels lower. “I feel pressure down there.”
“Do you have an urge to bear down?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
“Obey the commands of your body.”
“How?”
Zee Zee and Viviana hold me
beneath my arms. “Squat and bear down.”
What? No. “I don’t want to do that.”
“Modern doctors put you in a bed, but trust me, girl. This is the easiest way to birth your baby.”
Viviana nods. “She’s done this many times. She knows what’s best, Emilia.”
The last thing I want to do is push this baby out, but it’s as though my body commands it of me. I have no control when the next contraction begins.
“Ahhh!”
Zee Zee crouches in front of me. “Stop screaming and push, girl. Push.”
Viviana holds me steady when I waver. “Hold your breath in and bear down.”
Breathe. Hold breath. Bear down. I do that every two minutes until I’m exhausted and can no longer hold myself in a squatting position. “I can’t do it anymore.”
“You should rest for a moment and regain some strength,” Zee Zee says.
Gemma and Viviana help me up because my legs are shaking, too weak to hold my weight.
Viviana strokes the wet hair away from my forehead. “That’s it. Rest, Emilia.”
My eyes close on their own because I don’t have the strength to hold them open any longer.
“Giada, go into the bathroom and get a fresh wet cloth for Emilia’s head.”
When Giada returns, Viv strokes the cool cloth over my face and neck. “You’re doing a great job.”
“Shouldn’t the baby have come already?”
“The first one always takes the longest. And if this one is anything like his father, he’s going to take his time. I didn’t think Luca would ever come out.”
Oh God.
“What if I’m too small to have him?”
“Shh… you’re letting the exhaustion get in your head. Just rest a few minutes and get some energy back.”
“My mouth is so dry.”
“Giada —”
“I’ve got it, Mamma.”
Gemma helps me to a sitting position, and I take small sips of water. I’m thirsty but nauseous at the same time.
The next contraction begins, and my body won’t allow me to lie on the bed through it. “Oh God. I have to push.”
“Come on, ladies. Let’s help Emilia get into position.”
I resume the squatting position and bear down, hard as I can. Over and over and over. And he still doesn’t come out.
This baby is too big for me to push out. Because of that, I’m going to die in childbirth. The baby and I both are because no one can get me out of here and to a hospital where they could cut him out.
Waiting for my Queen: A Dark Mafia Romance Page 24
