by Ben Chambers
Then this huge group of girls walked past. There must have been about ten of them all chatting with each other. Some of them were all holding this same black and red book, so I figured they must be in a class together. Maybe it was a study group. I hate study groups. I tried one once, but no one ever wanted to actually study. All they wanted to do was talk about things. But when I saw all those girls walking together, for some reason, it made me think of something. It made me think of this time I went to the zoo with my dad when I was only a young child. It’s funny, because it was his birthday, but he asked me where I would like to go for it. I told him we should go where he wants to go, but he insisted that I choose. He said it would make him happy if I decided. So I chose the zoo. I should have said that we should go where he wanted, but I was only a little kid at the time.
The morning we left the house, I took the birthday present I had bought for him. It was wrapped in brown paper with a white string bow tie on it.
“What’s that, love?” he said to me when he saw me holding it. I remember that I didn’t want him to see the present until I gave it to him at the zoo, but I wasn’t very good at hiding it.
“Nothing!” I said and squeezed it against my stomach as I ran out the door ahead of him. I was quite a silly little girl. I sat in the car with the present tucked between my legs, trying to hide it. It was probably poking out quite a lot, because I was only a kid and had quite little legs, but I probably didn’t notice. I spent the whole ride looking down at it every two seconds, making sure it was okay. We got to the zoo and I kept it tucked under my right arm. I made sure only to walk on the right side of my dad, so that he couldn’t see it. He probably knew I had it the whole time, but he didn’t say anything. He was very nice like that.
I love the zoo. I love looking at the tigers and the lions. Most people don’t like looking at them usually, because they just sleep all day and sometimes lick themselves. But that’s my favourite part. They’re just like big cats. That’s exactly what my cat Vincent used to do all the time, and I loved watching him. He was about the best friend I’ve ever had, Vincent. Except for maybe my dad, I guess. But my dad got Vincent for me when I was just a tiny little girl. He was only a tiny little kitten, too, because we got him from the animal shelter. We named him Vincent, because he had a little notch in his left ear just like that painter, Vincent Van Gogh. Except the painter cut his whole ear off, not just a little notch. He was crazy, my dad told me. And Vincent had ginger fur, just like the real Vincent person had ginger hair, too. It was the perfect name, really. He was a little bit fat, because I liked to give him treats sometimes. But not too fat. He would sleep in bed with me every night and lick my chin. I would put my chin right up to his face, and he would lick it very gently. I loved it when he did that. Sometimes he would even start licking all over my face when he was getting very cuddly. One time, he even licked my nose and then even licked inside my nose! It was very yucky but also very funny too. Sometimes, he would even drool on me. But I didn’t mind that, because he just loved me. Vincent and I used to look after each other. That’s what my dad said when he got him for me. He told me that if I always looked after Vincent, he’d always look after me, too. I miss Vincent a lot. He ran away not too long ago. I don’t know what ever happened to him. Sometimes though, I keep an eye out for him. Just in case he’s lost and trying to find me again. Sometimes I hope I’ll just see him again one day, walking down the street. And then we can be best friends again.
Me and my dad spent quite a while wandering around and seeing all the animals. His favourites were the penguins and the monkeys. The penguins were all right. I liked looking through the glass and watching them swim around. The water looked so nice and blue. But I didn’t like the monkeys very much, they were too noisy. My dad loved the monkeys, though. He kept pointing and saying, “Look! Look at that one!” He said he liked how agile they were and that he wished he were that agile. I just smiled though. I didn’t want to say anything mean about the monkeys on his birthday.
It was quite hot that day, and we got tired pretty quickly. We decided to stop and have some food at the zoo cafe. I was really excited then because I knew that was the best time to give him his present. I ran to the closest table I saw and sat down on it. My dad was only just pulling his chair out when I took out the present and yelled, “Surprise!” I was a bit stupid as a young child. He was very nice though; he acted all surprised and said how thoughtful it was of me. I probably had the biggest, silliest grin on my face at the time. He unwrapped it right there and saw that it was a wooden box. I don’t know why I got him a wooden box. I don’t remember at all why I chose that, but I must have thought it was a good idea. I guess I thought he could just keep some things in it. But before he could say anything about it, the waitress came up to us and asked if we’d like anything to eat and drink.
“Perhaps just something to drink to start with,” my dad said. “What would you like, Franny?” All I wanted was for the waitress to go away so my dad could look at his present properly. But I knew I couldn’t say that. I knew that would be rude. So I said the first drink I could think of.
“Orange juice, please.”
“And an iced tea for me, thanks,” my dad said.
That made me look up then. I suddenly wanted some iced tea instead. I didn’t say that, but I kind of let out this little noise. Like a little squeak or something. I think I was embarrassed to change my order in front of the waitress. My dad must have heard me, because he looked at me then.
I didn’t say anything for a second, just looked at him. But he didn’t say anything either, so I said, “Can I have iced tea?”
“Instead of orange juice?” he said. I nodded excitedly. “But you don’t even like iced tea. You never finish it.”
“I do too!” I don’t know why he said that, because I loved iced tea. I used to always order it when we went out, except for if I didn’t even remember about it, like that time. He eventually ordered me some iced tea, and the waitress went away. Only after she left did I remember all about his present.
“Do you like it?” I said. I was hopping up and down on my chair. I was very excited. “Open it!”
He opened the box. There was nothing inside it, except it was lined with this very nice purple velvet material. I think it was meant to be a jewellery box or something. It was probably a very silly present, but I thought it was good at the time.
“It’s very nice,” he said and felt the velvet. He looked all over the box for a moment and then closed it and looked at me. I was still very excited.
“It’s made from oak,” I said. I was trying to think of everything I could remember about the box, so I could tell him. I got it at a shop with my mother. They had lots of different wooden things. There was this section just for boxes like that, and you could choose to get the inside lined as an optional extra. I loved the purple velvet. I was obsessed with it. It looked so nice, so we got it.
“Thank you, Franny, it’s lovely,” he said and put the box to the side. Then he said, “I’m starving,” and picked up his menu.
That made me feel funny. I didn’t understand. He didn’t seem too excited about his present. I guess I was just a stupid kid, but it was very upsetting at the time. I only sat there, waiting for him to say something else about the present, but he just kept looking at the menu. I started to get very sulky.
Then he said, “I think I might get the chicken club. Is there anything that looks good to you?” He looked over the top of his menu. He raised his eyebrows at me and then nodded down at my menu in front of me. I think he was trying to tell me to pick it up and read it. But I was feeling very grumpy then, so I didn’t say anything. I just looked down at my menu. I wasn’t reading it; I was just looking at it. I was very upset that he didn’t like my present.
The waitress came back with our drinks and put them in front of us. My dad took a big gulp of his iced tea straight away. I took a little sip of mine. I didn’t want to, because I was grumpy, but it was quite hot,
and I was very thirsty. It had a funny taste though, and I didn’t like it very much.
“Are you ready to order?” the lady said.
“Yes, I think we are,” my dad said, still looking at his menu. “I’ll have the chicken club sandwich, please. Franny, what would you like?”
I was very upset. My present was just sitting on the side of the table. He hadn’t even looked at it again. “Nothing,” I said very quietly.
“What was that?” he said. It seemed both him and the waitress were leaning in towards me, trying to hear me, getting very close.
I felt very angry and upset and I screamed out, “I don’t want anything to eat; I hate you!” Then I grabbed his present and threw it far off onto the concrete floor. I just saw it splinter and crack on the ground as I turned to run off. I was a horrible little child. I ruined his whole birthday. But he’s dead now, so I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. Maybe they’ll line his coffin with purple velvet, too.
I eventually got bored of sitting on those stairs watching people go past. I really felt like a nap; I was very tired. I know this great secret spot at the university. I call it James’ space, because my friend James showed it to me.
A very odd thing happened with James. We sort of knew each other at high school but not too well. He was in my math class for two years. I guess I probably chatted to him quite a bit in that class, because I never really cared about listening to the teacher when it was math. But I never hung out with him outside of school at all, I don’t think. But when he was in one of my first-year classes at university, we usually sat together, and we talked quite a bit.
Then one day after class he said, “Would you like to go and have lunch with me?” I told him yes because I was quite hungry, and I hadn’t packed any lunch that day. I needed to buy something tasty to eat. So he took me to this pizza place. It was kind of far away from university though, which I thought was a bit annoying. At least he drove me, but I kind of wondered why we didn’t get some food right on campus. Then we sat down at this table. It sort of looked like a pretty fancy pizza place. Even a waiter came and gave us a menu. When I saw the prices on the menu though, I sort of freaked out a bit. I just wanted a cheap sandwich or something. I could’ve probably bought ten sandwiches for what the stuff on that menu cost! It was ridiculous!
I leaned over and sort of whispered to James, “I can’t really afford to get this stuff.”
But he said, “Don’t worry, I’m happy to pay for us both.”
I thought that was pretty neat, getting a free lunch like that, so I relaxed a little bit. We ordered, and we were just waiting around for our food and talking. That’s when James did this odd thing. He reached across the table and took one of my hands. He was just sort of holding on to it. I was wondering what he was doing, and then I saw that he was looking at me very strangely. He was kind of looking at me with this smile. Only just then I realised what was going on. I couldn’t believe myself! I didn’t even realise it was a date until right then! I felt like such a moron. I started getting pretty weird then, and he must have noticed. I took my hand away from him.
He looked pretty worried. I don’t blame him. I was looking all around the restaurant. I think I was kind of looking for a way to escape, to be honest. “Are you all right?”
“I’m so sorry,” I said and got up and left. I just left! I don’t know why! It was such a mean thing for me to do. I guess I was just really nervous, because I didn’t realise he liked me. And to be honest, I didn’t really like him at all. He seemed okay and everything, but I certainly didn’t want to date him. But I handled the situation very badly. I suppose I don’t really have much experience in those sorts of things. It was very weird between us from then on. We never even mentioned the lunch to each other at all. We chatted a few times when we saw each other, but we never discussed it. It was very strange. Luckily though, I didn’t have any more classes with him after that. It would have been way too weird if I did.
So I started walking to James’ space. I should probably think of a new name for that place. But to get there you just have to go toward the old commerce building and go sort of around the side. There’s a set of stairs there that lead up to a big long balcony. It’s not very secret, but not many people know about it. So there’s hardly ever anyone there. There are some benches there which are perfect for napping. It can get quite sunny sometimes, which makes it hard to sleep, but I found a bench that had a lot of shade over it from a nearby tree. I lay down on it and used my bag as a pillow. The chairs were wooden with these metal rivets to hold it all together. It wasn’t too comfy, but it was okay.
I have a secret talent. Most people, if they want to wake up at a certain time in the morning, have to use an alarm clock. But I don’t. My body has its own special alarm clock. If I want to wake up at a certain time, all I have to do is just think very hard about it while I’m falling asleep. The secret is to visualise a clock in your mind, and say the time you want to wake up over and over again. I lay there thinking ‘5:00 pm, 5:00 pm, 5:00 pm’ over and over and picturing a clock with the hour hand on the five and the minute hand on the twelve, so that it read five o’clock. It’s also very important to think about pm not am. One time I wanted to get up at 6:00 am, but I forgot to think about the am part, and only thought about ‘six o’clock’ when I was falling asleep. I ended up waking up at about 8:00 am. It must have thrown off my whole body system. It was crazy. But it’s quite a handy skill when you do it correctly. You should try it some time. But don’t be too upset if you can’t do it. Sometimes, only very certain people can, like me. Eventually, I fell asleep.
Chapter Eight
When I was asleep I had a pretty weird dream. Although part of the dream was stuff that actually happened. Like a memory, I guess. But some parts of it were just made up, like a dream. I was in this very cold town. Like so cold there was snow and ice all on the streets. And frost on the windows in the hotel we were staying at. I had gone there on a trip with my parents and this other husband and wife, with their two kids. I didn’t really want to go along, because I didn’t know those people at all. But I had no choice, because I was pretty young at the time.
We had all decided to go out for a walk together. Even though it was nighttime and freezing cold, everyone thought it would be a very good idea. My dad helped me get into all my jumpers. I wore about three jumpers and then this big puffy jacket over top of it all. My dad helped me pull them all tightly over my head to get them on. And I had on a little orange beanie, and some gloves too. I was a big puffball after that. You should have seen me. I looked very silly. I think if I tripped over, I would have just rolled around like a ball and bounced around on the walls and things. But when I was all wrapped up, we went outside. It was freezing out there. I think it was probably the coldest place I’ve ever been. Even colder than a freezer.
We weren’t going anywhere specific; we were just walking around. I remember it was very dark there too, and the street lamps had this very nice light coming off it. You could even see all the mist and stuff in the air beneath the lights. There wasn’t really anyone outside at that time, and so everything was pretty quiet except for us. All the grownups were talking, and the other two little kids were running ahead and kind of hitting each other. They were boys, so they did that sort of stuff quite a lot. I had to spend most of the trip telling them I didn’t want to play, because they kept trying to play all these games with me. Like wrestling and tag and it got very annoying. I was walking behind everyone a little bit, but not too far back. Because my dad kept looking back at me and giving me this certain look. I knew that it meant he didn’t want me to get too far away from them. I don’t know how I knew that. I just did. Sometimes I can read minds. So I stuck pretty close behind them.
I got pretty interested in all the ice and snow that was around us. I’d only seen snow once before that, so it was a pretty exciting experience for me. But all the really good snow is up on the mountains, where everyone goes skiing. All there was on that st
reet was mostly ice. It was sort of like snow but not very fun to play in. You couldn’t really pick up big handfuls of it. It just kind of stuck to the ground in chunks. But I still had quite a lot of fun with it.
I saw a pretty good ice pile and kicked it with my little boot. I picked up a piece that came off and tried to hold it with my gloves. But it was pretty tricky. It sort of started melting and breaking apart, and so I just threw it away quite quickly.
We eventually got to this part of the street where there were a few shops and things. And there was a cafe. My parents really wanted to go inside to get some coffee and maybe some cake, and so we did. Everyone went and sat at a table, but for some reason, I didn’t really feel like it. I think maybe it was because I was wearing all those very warm clothes, and it felt pretty hot inside the cafe. I told my parents I was just going to go play outside in the snow. They didn’t really want me to, but I kind of started nagging them, just because I really didn’t want to sit inside. They eventually said okay, but that I had to stay by the window, so that they could see me.
I was just playing around in the parking lot, looking at the grass. It was all frosty. It didn’t even look green. I thought it was pretty cool. I could see everyone through the glass even though it was steaming up quite a lot. I must have gotten pretty distracted, because eventually, I wandered around the side of the building. And I found the coolest thing around there! It was a huge pile of snow, almost as tall as me! I wondered how it got there, but I didn’t even know. I was just too excited, because it was the first good pile of snow I’d seen on that trip. It wasn’t really perfect; it was still pretty icy. But it was good enough. I decided I would get some revenge on those two boys for always trying to wrestle with me. I started making a lot of snowballs. It worked pretty well, too. Only a couple of them fell apart. The rest were actually pretty good. I was around the side of the building packing all those snowballs, and I was planning my attack. I was going to go back to the cafe and tell the boys to come outside and play some games with me. I knew they would say yes, because they always wanted to mess around playing games and things. Then I would run around to my secret stash and start chucking a lot of snowballs at them. But when I was planning it all, I heard a whole lot of voices start yelling, “Franny! Franny, where are you?”
