If only he could bow out and skip the catered meal and dance altogether.
No. What he really wanted was to abandon his fears and dance with her a dozen times. But neither would happen. He needed to hold his persona like a cloak around him, aloof and disinterested.
It wasn’t just himself he was protecting. It was also Tori.
Chapter Eight
“Hi, Mrs. Morrison.” Tori couldn’t help it. She’d waited through the entire five-course dinner for a chance to escape the head table and find Garret. She’d promised him a dance, and she intended to make sure she got it.
“Why, hello, my dear.” The older woman turned in her chair, her expertly applied makeup nearly masking the etched lines on her face. Her perfectly coifed hair and formal dress portrayed the elegant lady that she was. Mrs. Morrison pressed Tori’s hands. “You look lovely today. Doesn’t she, son?”
“As do you, Mrs. Morrison.” No need to hold Garret at knifepoint. Tori leaned down to kiss the older woman’s powdered cheek. “That shade of lilac is perfect for you.”
“And you’re so pretty in pink.” Mrs. Morrison angled a look at her son on the other side of Tori. “Isn’t she, Garret?”
Garret offered a smile that didn’t reach his eyes as he glanced at Tori. “Very pretty indeed. Would you like your sweater, Mom? It seems rather cool in here.”
Ha. More like he’d been put on the spot and was trying to wiggle out of it. Tori turned to his dad. “Good evening, Mr. Morrison.”
“Good evening, Victoria. It’s good to see you.”
What? No one called her by her full name, not since her parents had mostly given up trying to direct her life. Sometimes she felt so adrift she wished they’d start again.
Mrs. Morrison pressed a genteel hand to Garret’s black tuxedo sleeve. “Oh, there’s Fred Berkley. I wanted to speak with him and his dear wife this evening. You go ahead and dance with Tori, and we’ll catch up with you later. Come, Tucker.”
Her husband nodded and helped her to her feet before guiding her toward the town attorney.
Tori watched them for a few seconds while she gathered her nerve then smiled down at Garret as she held out her hand. “It sounds like we have our orders.”
He searched her face just long enough she half expected him to refuse her or to follow his parents. But he nodded as he rose, setting down his napkin. Then he extended his elbow for her hand and led her to the dance floor. The official sets had just taken place: Trevor and Denae’s first dance together. Denae’s with her dad, Stewy, and Trevor’s with his mom, Gloria. Then Trevor had done the honors with Denae’s mother then her stepmom while Denae looked to be having way more fun with Russ Delgado.
Now it was a free-for-all. Kade danced with Cheri while, nearby, their daughter Harmony encouraged her littlest brother to twirl, but the one-year-old simply ran in circles, giggling. Several of the other kids were showing off their moves, and Jericho stomped his little cowboy boots with the best of them.
But then Tori and Garret stood along the fringes, and she turned toward him, clasping his left hand in her right as she slid her other hand up his bicep. Her skin tingled as his right hand touched her waist. For all he’d promised to be a poor partner, he knew his position. A guy with so much music in him would know more than that.
Garret began to swing to the tempo, leading Tori with him, but looking just past the side of her head. That’s how Dad had taught her, as well, that looking at each other would shift their body positions and tangle their feet. For the first time, Tori had no desire to dance exactly correctly. She’d gladly take tangled feet if only she could gaze into Garret’s eyes.
Right. In front of hundreds of people who knew them. She might not care, but Garret was much more withdrawn than she was. He wouldn’t want the entire town speculating, but Tori had already started that in motion.
She inhaled the scent of him, just enough cologne to offset the hint of horse. She longed to finger the closely shaven angular jaw right at eye level. Good thing both her hands were busy, one resting on the black tux but feeling his muscles move as they danced, the other clasped firmly in his. Tori closed her eyes for a second, memorizing the points of contact, reveling in them.
When she opened them again, his gaze was fixed on her, his blue eyes searching hers for... something, but what? She offered him a tremulous smile. “You’re not dancing like someone with two left feet.”
“I can remedy that.” And he said it with a straight face, too.
“I like this better.”
His jaw twitched. “You can’t have everything.”
Tori felt her eyebrows hike. “And why not? Some people seem to have their destiny on a silver platter. A lot of our friends, actually.”
“The world is full of tragedy. Just because a few people have found happiness doesn’t mitigate that fact.”
She squeezed his hand. “Mitigate is such a big word for a cowboy.”
“Not all cowboys are dumb and uneducated.”
Aha. There was the opening she’d been poking for. “Where did you go to school?”
“Back east.”
She flicked his shoulder. “I kind of figured that part. Is it a big secret?” Then she held her breath.
“Why does it matter to you, Tori?”
“Because you do.” Oh, great. Way to blurt that out.
Garret shook his head. “I’m not that interesting, honestly. Took some music school. Decided to move west. End of story.”
“Wow, you make Reader’s Digest condensed seem as detailed as War and Peace.”
He pulled his gaze away from hers, his fingers flexing against her waist. “None of it is pertinent anymore.”
“Garret?”
He glanced at her. Moisture glistened above his lip and shone on his forehead. “What?”
“What happened back there that you wish you could forget?”
“If something happened back then that I wished to forget, why would I want to talk about it?”
Fair point. Should she back down or keep pushing? It was so hard to know, especially since he didn’t seem predisposed to sharing with anyone at all, not just her.
The song ended and a new one began. Or, rather, a golden oldie. Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers belted out Islands in the Stream. “You hear that?” Tori asked. “People need each other. We aren’t meant to be solitary.”
“Big word for a cowgirl.”
She waggled her eyebrows. “There’s more where that came from. I was once planning to become a teacher.”
“I can see you suited for that.” Was that relief ebbing from his eyes? Of course. She’d turned the attention away from him. “Why didn’t you?”
“Everything changed with Dad’s accident.”
Garret’s forehead furrowed. “But... wasn’t that a long time ago?”
“Ten years.” At his lack of understanding, she sighed. “I was still in high school. James left college to take care of the ranch. Meg went crazy.”
“So someone had to be the good daughter.”
“I guess. There was a lot to do, transitioning a cattle ranch into a resort. It took all the finances we could muster there for a while. All the time, energy, creative thinking. A lot of risk.”
“Right. But it’s doing pretty well now, isn’t it?” He shook his head quickly. “Don’t answer. It’s none of my business.”
Ha, because if he got to probe, so did she? “It’s fine. Yes, we’re operating in the black.”
“Do you still want to be a teacher?”
“It crosses my mind occasionally.” But not when she danced with Garret. At the moment, all she wanted was to sail away with him to another world like in the song that was just ending. She’d rather be a wife — Garret’s wife — and the mother of his children than pour her passion into other people’s kids.
He shrugged, and her hand rose and fell with his shoulder. “Then do it.”
“Just that easy?”
They stopped swaying as the music faded. Garr
et’s hands released her. “Why not?”
Tori took one step closer and fingered both his lapels. The fragrance of the daisy on his boutonniere engulfed her as she brushed it. “Because I’m hoping there’s more to life. I have other dreams, too.”
Garret backed up, right into someone passing behind him. He tore his gaze from Tori, muttered an apology, and pivoted away.
Had the apology been for the wedding guest or for her? And what did it matter? She’d all but presented her heart to him, and he’d rejected her.
Guess her answer was clear.
And the entire town had witnessed it.
Garret skirted the dance floor in search of his parents. There they were, sitting at one of the round tables near the kitchen pass-through, visiting with the Berkleys. He shook Fred’s hand then Irene’s before pulling out a chair.
“Enjoying the wedding?” asked the attorney’s wife. “Looked like you were having a nice dance with Tori Carmichael.”
No doubt the entire community of Saddle Springs was going to speculate for a while. Great. “She was telling me her dreams of being a teacher.”
“Sometimes young people have to leave for an education to come back.” Fred nodded. “It was that way for me. I grew up here but attended the School of Law in Missoula. Met my lovely wife there.” He patted her hand.
Garret’s boomerang had been even more dramatic. He’d left home for college, too, though he hadn’t gone far. But when he’d ricocheted back to the nest, they’d moved that nest clear across the country for a brand new start.
What would he do when his parents passed on? Was Saddle Springs truly his home now, or would he return to Kentucky? Or just keep moving on. Alone.
Tori offered something more, but she didn’t really know him. Didn’t realize that everyone he loved deserted him, one way or another. He was pushing her away for her own good. If he explained it all, he’d be letting her too close. He’d be in danger of losing his heart again, and that couldn’t happen.
No, he’d started as he needed to continue.
The evening’s master of ceremonies, Denae’s Uncle Ted, invited everyone closer as the newlyweds cut their cake. Garret settled back in his seat. He didn’t need a close-up of Denae mashing frosting into Trevor’s face, or any view at all. A cheer went up and cameras seemed to flash forever.
At his mother’s concerned look, Garret left their table and found the local veterinarian, Wyatt Torrington. The middle-aged man was always willing to talk about his experiences. They fell into an easy conversation as Wyatt regaled him with tales of horses he’d worked with over the years. When Wyatt moved on, Garret offered to sit with Howard Haviland so Spencer and Carmen could dance. The aging rancher seemed bright tonight, his eyes shining with all that went on around him.
Carmen’s little daughter, Juliana, leaned on Garret’s arm. “Dance with me?”
He smiled at the child’s winsome face. “I don’t want to leave your Uncle Howard alone.”
She pressed her hands on either side of the old man’s leathery face. “You don’t mind, do you, Uncle Howard?”
He patted her blond hair. “You go on, missy. Have fun.”
Juliana tugged at Garret’s hand. “Come on then!”
Garret couldn’t resist the child. He’d regret it, for sure, but he couldn’t think of another way to extricate himself. Only, how did one dance with a girl who barely came past his waist?
“I want to twirl,” Juliana informed him.
So it was easy. He held her hand, and she twirled until he felt as wobbly as she must. In between, he took a step right or left, and she followed his lead.
“Oh, dance with me!” Harmony Delgado pulled on Garret’s arm. “That looks fun.”
“We can take turns,” agreed Juliana, stepping aside and nearly tumbling from dizziness.
What had Garret gotten himself into?
“It’s time for the bride to toss her bouquet!” announced Ted Essery. “If all the single women would please come over here.”
Wait. How had Garret managed to get close to the mic stand? “Come on, girls.” He pulled at both hands. “Let’s get out of the way.”
“I want to see,” insisted Harmony. “This is the fun part. At Mommy and Daddy’s wedding, Auntie Lauren caught it and then she was married. I want to see who gets married next.”
Garret did not. “Okay, you stay. I’m going to get a glass of punch.” He managed to disengage the little girls’ hands then edged through the oncoming women toward the drinks. Tori flashed him a smile on the way by.
Oh, no. There wasn’t anything to this silly ritual, was there? Because she looked like she was going to leap in the air and fight for those flowers with everything she had.
A flush crept up Garret’s neck, and he focused on pouring a glass of punch, his back to the happenings.
“Ready, set, go!” called Denae’s uncle.
Okay, Garret couldn’t resist after all. He turned just in time to see Tori capture the mass of pink roses and white daisies as it shot straight at her chest. Beside her, Anna made a moue of disappointment as cheers went up.
Tori turned to look at Garret. Their gazes caught and, for just a second, there was no one else in the community center banquet hall.
Then he shook his head and broke the contact. Garret gulped the punch, set the glass down, and headed for his parents. On second thought, there was no way to get them out of the room in time. He swerved toward the double doors propped open to the June evening and headed straight through them, down the steps, through the parking lot, and to the riverside beyond.
If someone came looking for him for the ridiculous garter toss, they’d never find him. He’d make sure of that.
Oh, Jenna. Why did you leave me?
But the desperation in his thoughts was not as deep as it had been the first few years. His life would have been completely different had she lived. He wouldn’t have even become the same man. The horrific accident that had claimed his bride had changed him forever. It had turned him into the man who’d been too blind to see through Chantelle Devereaux. Had turned him into the man who’d fled west like a kid who still depended on his parents.
It had turned him into the person he was today, a man who shielded his heart above everything else, even when it desperately wanted to love again.
He wanted to love Tori Carmichael.
He didn’t have the courage.
Chapter Nine
“I’m sorry.” Lauren took a seat at the little kitchen table in Tori’s cabin. She’d given James a kiss and told him she’d be home soon.
Standing at her kitchen counter, Tori wasn’t sure whether to be thankful or annoyed with her sister-in-law. She unwound the ribbon holding Denae’s gorgeous bouquet together so she could put the flowers in water. “I’ll be fine.” She managed to keep her voice even.
“Such a bummer, though. You guys danced for two entire songs. I thought he was coming around, but then….”
Tori shrugged, not looking at Lauren as she snipped the stems of the pink roses. She blinked back tears pricking the corners of her eyes. It wouldn’t take much to snap and start bawling like a baby.
“Tori? Talk to me.”
She took a deep breath. “It was a beautiful wedding. Everything went off without a hitch. I guess all Denae’s planning paid off.”
“Victoria June. You’re as bad as Garret.”
“What exactly is that supposed to mean?”
“I realized the other day that for as long as he’s lived in Saddle Springs and how affable he comes across, he doesn’t open up to anyone. I asked James about it, and he said the same.”
Tori managed a chuckle. “Now that’s the pot calling the kettle black. Because my brother doesn’t, either.”
“He does, though. He and Kade have been close since they were little cowpokes together.”
Well, of course. It was just his sisters he kept out of his confidence. Meg might not have noticed half the time, but Tori had. All she wanted was to
bond with her siblings. Be real friends. Good luck with that.
Lauren’s voice softened. “I know you want to be closer to him, but my point is that there was someone he could confide in. Someone who knew him deeply and well, whereas Garret opens up to no one. Maybe to his parents, but I kind of doubt that.”
“Maybe he has a close friend back east he talks to.”
“Wouldn’t we have heard of that person by now? It’s not like Garret keeps to himself all the time. I mean, James knows him as well as anyone, I think. They’ve been leading worship together for over four years. They meet together weekly. Pray together. James didn’t realize until I asked him just how close-mouthed Garret has been all this time. He’s shared so little of his past.”
Uh huh. Welcome to Tori’s world.
“Maybe he’s hiding something big.”
Tori glanced over at Lauren. “Or blocking it.” As the words came out, she recognized the likelihood of that. “I have no idea what, but it really seems he’s protecting himself from something he refuses to deal with.”
“You might have hit the nail on the head.” Lauren tapped her chin as she stared out the patio doors to the lake beyond, lit only by a half moon.
“So, what if he never decides to move forward?” She stabbed a rose into the vase.
Lauren’s gaze swung to meet Tori’s.
Uh oh. She’d voiced her fear out loud. Might as well dump the whole thing. “I’ve been so stupid. I like him. I do. He’s a nice guy who treats his parents well. He works hard. He loves the Lord and uses his musical talents in the church. There’s nothing not to like.”
Lauren nodded. “And how he danced with Juliana and Harmony tonight. Too cute.”
“I know, right? He... he’d be a great dad.” Tori swallowed hard, tucking a spray of baby’s breath between two rosebuds. “I’m not a kid, but I’ve been acting like a teen with a crush on the popular boy.”
“I doubt Garret was ever the star quarterback or the guy every girl swooned over. He’s too unassuming.”
The Cowboy's Belated Discovery: A belated epiphany Montana Ranches Christian Romance (Saddle Springs Romance Series Book 5) Page 6
