Charlotte’s hand was on my shoulder again just as Lisa started speaking.
Charlotte said, “Before dessert, we need something to celebrate,”
And she handed me a small box with a hinged top. Looking carefully inside, I turned to Charlotte in awe and saw her wink at me. As I stood up, Charlotte pulled away my chair and I was left standing between Brenda and Lisa.
Charlotte motioned for both of them to stand as well and moved them a few feet from the table facing Tom and his family. I stood with my back to the table, and getting down on one knee, slowly because getting on my knees wasn’t as easy and it had once been, I held out two very beautiful rings. One with a green stone set in a black band and one that looked identical except that the stone was blue.
I took Brenda’s hand in mine and slipped the green embellished ring on her finger saying, “With this ring, I thee wed, to love and cherish, from this day forward, as long as we live.”
Brenda’s mouth was open in surprise, but no more so than Lisa’s. Both of them started to cry.
Repeating the ritual, I placed the blue stone on Lisa’s hand.
Charlotte stepped in front of me quickly and something was exchanged between her and the girls and she stepped to the side, just as quickly.
The girls pulled me to my feet and I was bewildered as they both knelt in front of me. They worked together to put a somewhat more masculine version of the rings that I had just given to them on my hand. My ring had an opal that had several colors combined.
Brenda said, “And with this token, we pledge our love and acceptance,”
Lisa continued, “As our husband…”
And Brenda added, “…master, lover, and prince…”
Lisa went on, “…and loving every member of our household in the same way…”
And Brenda concluded with, “…as long as any of us live, and possibly beyond death if the afterlife allows for it.”
Tom and the other women said reverently, “Amen.”
Charlotte said, warmly, “Dessert will be out shortly. Let’s sit down and toast the nuptials with coffee and brandy.”
Instead of leaving to bring our dessert course, Charlotte seated Brenda and Lisa, and then me, and then took a seat herself. Three other waitresses quickly brought our items and then disappeared.
Tom stood and gave a wonderful toast, congratulating us and welcoming us to the island and as friends. The women admired Brenda and Lisa’s rings and showed them their own and discussed the meaning that they placed on having different colored stones on the rings just as they did.
At some point, Charlotte changed seats with Lisa so that she and the ladies could sit together and ended up next to me.
I whispered, “Charlotte, thank you. Thank you so much. I can’t actually thank you enough.”
For the first time since I’d met her, it felt like some shell fell away and she said, “Are you happy, Sir?”
I said, “Charlotte?”
There was something in her voice that startled me. An instant of insecurity or something. A hint of her own need.
I held out my hand, palm upward on the table, and after a hesitation, Charlotte let her hand move toward me and she laid her fingers on top of mine. I didn’t hold her hand, but let it rest in my palm.
I said, “Charlotte, my life is a dream. But now I’m more afraid than Tom was.”
She smiled and said, “No, you are not. Fear is a sign that you are living in the future, not the present.”
I said, “And it’s the possibilities of future that I’m afraid of. Charlotte, the girls and I have a commitment to being absolutely honest. I have to extend that to you. It would be easier if I still didn’t care. But if you leave, or when I leave, I’m going to miss you. It’s only been a few hours, but you are an essential part of my world and I am going to be crushed when it’s over. If this was Tom’s plan to make me want to stay here in Kauai, it’s working. Not because of what you are doing for me, but because I have never felt so known and understood in my whole life.”
Charlotte said, “I feel your taming effect on me, too. That’s what this is. I am taming you. Setting expectations of a positive relationship. If this were to end, you would feel the ghost of my hand on your shoulder at times for the rest of your life because you already expect me to be there in surprising moments. And sadly, tragically, if this were to end, I would forever feel the loss of a place to rest my hand when I wanted to make sure that my world isn’t an illusion. But now you trust me, at least.”
I whispered, “But not myself.”
Charlotte smiled and asked, “No?”
I said, “Charlotte, men can be stupid. I’m 60 years old. I’ll do my best, but I’m going to screw up and flirt with you at some point. Maybe if I picture you as a daughter, but even then, I have no right to think that fondly of you. Charlotte, I don’t need a valet, but if I’m honest, I love having you do things for me. I love having you anticipate my needs. And I love the amazing sense of attachment that is implied in that relationship. Maybe you should reconsider his ‘assignment’. They say that you choose your own job, maybe I can’t handle, and I certainly don’t deserve this. And what about when it’s over?”
Charlotte seemed to ignore most of my concerns as she said, “You’re 60? You look a bit younger. I have uncommon genetics, myself. In a way, I don’t know how old I am. I know the year I was born. I also know the years of every time that I died. What about you? How many times have you died in 60 years?”
I thought for a moment and said, “At least four. Maybe three.”
Charlotte said, “For me it has been three. At the end of high school, once 20 years later, and most recently, just before Marilyn found me and gave me a new life that is still unfolding. You look good for 60. What’s Brenda, 42?”
I said, “She’s 55. Lisa is 53.”
Charlotte said, “They both look younger. They’re both very beautiful. So mature. Brenda is incredibly voluptuous, isn’t she? I bet Lisa has a blast dressing her. Roland, I want a gift.”
I said, “OK. I’ll find out what private tropical islands are available and I’ll start the paperwork to get you one.”
She smiled and said, “No. I want Lisa to take me shopping.”
I said, “OK. Done. That’s the gift that you want?”
She smiled slyly and said, “Not entirely. That’s a step on the journey toward the gift.”
I said, “And the gift is…?”
She said cryptically, “Freedom and transformation. Cocoon-ing and catharsis. It will start with shopping.”
I lifted Charlotte’s hand to my lips and kissed it.
Setting it back down and opening my hand quickly, I said, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I told you I’d make a mistake. A 60-year-old man and acting like this. I’m so sorry.”
Charlotte gripped my hand and said, “I could have stopped you.”
I looked at her and said, “Oh, I suppose you could. You would, wouldn’t you? If you wanted to?”
She said, “Yes. I will tell you the truth. If I say something, or do something, it will be truthful.”
Brenda leaned into my ear on the other side and whispered, “Are you two holding hands?”
I said, “Yes. As a matter of fact, we are.”
Charlotte squeezed my hand and took her hand away and laid it on my shoulder for a moment. She wasn’t embarrassed by having been caught holding hands with me. In fact, she seemed to act like it had been perfectly natural and all part of the job.
We were finished with dessert now and several waitresses appeared to take away the remaining dishes.
Tom suddenly said, “Oh rats. I have to go to work. Something has just come up. Robby says I have to go take care of a project. Girls, I need you to come too. Roland, I won’t see you for a day or two. Maybe three, I don’t know. Girls, we leave from the airport in 45 minutes. We’d better go. You guys have fun. Remember, everything that you can charge to the resort is on me. Ladies?”
Ellen, Francesca, and
Pamela hugged Brenda and Lisa and kissed them on the cheek and then we all walked together out to the front of the resort. At the entrance, Tom reminded me that a car would be ready to take us wherever we wanted and was already at valet parking.
The car that pulled up for Tom and took them away was strange. I’d never seen anything like it. I wondered if that was the kind of car that Tom was sending us when he said that it was somehow magical.
As we walked back toward the wing of the resort that had our suite, Charlotte said, “Your bed is ready. There are new lotions and shampoos and toiletries. Please use plenty of sunscreen if you go out. You’ll find that the balcony of your suite has some modifications for your enjoyment. You have my number. I’ll be next door. If you’ll excuse me, I have a bit more to do before morning,” and she left us to walk back to the room by ourselves.
In the elevator, Brenda said, “I really do like her. She’s a very strange woman. And she looks so much younger than she is.”
I said, “Oh, that’s right! Lisa, she wants you to take her shopping. As a gift from us as thanks for helping us so much.”
Lisa said, “Oh thank goodness. Her uniform is OK, if she has to wear it, but for goodness sakes, her underwear is as bad as Brenda’s was when she first got here. I bet Charlotte’s whole wardrobe is blah.”
Brenda said, “She needs some jewelry. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just pretty. Stones and shells, or polished wood. No, stones and shells. Not gems, just shiny stones. Lisa, you could use some too.”
Lisa said, “I think jewelry might be your department. But yeah, that would be nice.”
As we entered the room, Brenda said, “I’ve decided. I’m keeping her.”
I said, “Oh, you are, huh?”
Brenda smiled and said, “Yes. I’ve decided. I really like her and I’m keeping her.”
We ended up going straight to bed. We were all ready to sleep. The bed was turned down and we climbed in naked. Lisa insisted that we sleep naked. After the lights were out, Lisa went to the big sliding glass door and opened the drapes and left the door open a foot. The air felt nice and the sound of the waves was soothing.
I woke up an hour before dawn and headed downstairs for my morning routine.
Chapter 14 - Settling In
As I opened the door to the hall outside the suite, the door next to mine was just closing. Charlotte had stepped out a split second before me. She smiled and waited for my door to fully close.
Charlotte seemed cheerful. She looked happy. She was wearing a floor-length tropical gown, something that a mom on vacation or a hostess at a nice restaurant would wear. One foot was showing and I could see a flat open-toed sandal. The dress hung from shoulder to floor without a gather at the waist or anywhere else.
Charlotte said quietly, “Good morning, Sir. I have something for you. Let’s go downstairs.”
We walked side-by-side down the long hall and to the elevators. We didn’t talk at all until the elevator doors opened and we started toward the pool.
I said, “Charlotte, out of curiosity, how did you know when I was coming out of my room just now? And you look radiant this morning, by the way. If you don’t mind me saying it, you look happy.”
She said, “Why would I mind? You only tell me the truth, wasn’t that the commitment? And I do feel happy. And to answer your question, how do you know when the sun comes up?”
I said, “Is that a real question? I know when it gets light outside.”
She said, “Why do you wake up before the sun comes up? At nearly the same time every morning? It isn’t the light that tells you that the sun will be up in an hour. I woke up 20 minutes before you did. It took me a few minutes more to get ready, so I woke up early.”
I said, “But how?”
She said, “Because I felt happy.”
I left it at that and didn’t ask again. She was happy. That was nice. I needed to accept it as the way that it was.
Leading me down the big steps from the veranda to the pool, Charlotte took me to the sidewalk in front of the beach and in the direction of the shops. But just as we passed the pool, before we came to the north wing of the resort, she turned back to our right and up a small rise. I’d see this area before, but had always assumed that it was kind of off-limits to guests. I don’t know why. Probably because it didn’t really go anywhere.
The area we climbed to was a small secluded garden between the north wing and the back of the poolside restaurant where the girls had I had eaten the first night. And at the plateau was a soft-sided cabana, like a wedding tent. It was open on three sides and only the east side was covered, and the cover was more of a screen that might be meant to block some amount of sunlight and breezes, but not all of either. Inside the cabana was a table and two chairs, a lounger, and a coffee table and a love-seat. The ground was flat and stable.
It was very private. I could see the bay, but not the sidewalk. And only the beach at the very edge of the water. It was unlikely that anyone below would notice me at all. And they certainly wouldn’t come exploring.
Charlotte had me sit at the table as she took my laptop out of my bag and set it in front of me. She had judged everything perfectly. This would be so much more comfortable for writing. Or just relaxing. She seemed pleased at how well it fit me.
She said, “This will be your office. You can entertain a single guest at the table for drinks if you choose, or yourself and up to three more at the settee if you move the chairs. Be aware that some parts of the north wing do look out onto this area, so it isn’t really good for sunbathing, clothed or otherwise. I recommend the pool or the beach. The overhead lights for the garden will be turned off after dawn. They aren’t bright enough for reading a book or writing with pen and paper, but for your computer, they should be fine.”
I said, “Charlotte, it’s beautiful.”
She said, “I’m glad that it suits you. Start your Qi Gong exercises and I will come back with your juice and yogurt in a moment.”
I said, “I might skip the exercises this morning.”
Charlotte said, pleasantly, “No, Sir. The exercises need you this morning. Without you, they will be left out of balance and the world won’t spin correctly. I’ll be back in a moment.”
She left me alone. What a strange girl. I started my exercise routine, stretching and breathing.
What a strange thing to say. That the exercises need me to do them so that the world would be balanced. Others would have said that I need them, so that I would be in balance. But this turned it around and made me responsible not for myself, but for the greater harmony of the universe. As I took long breaths and thought about it, I knew that she was right in a way that I had never thought about. In a way, it was like being a gardener. Some people enjoyed gardening. It was something that they did for themselves. To relax and connect to something living. They did it for themselves. But if one day they started deciding not to, because it seemed like too much hassle that day, something would die. Plants would start to die. Yes, it was for them, but it added life to others as well. That’s what Charlotte seemed to be telling me. That I need to do this because some part of the world beyond me became more alive when I did. I liked that.
It probably took me 20 minutes. And Charlotte didn’t reappear until I was just finishing my routine and ready to stop. I took a final breath and turned to see her setting down a tray and setting out my glass and a pitcher of fruit juice.
She arranged the table and said, “Sir, I’ll go now. I’ll bring breakfast to your suite when it is time.”
I said, “Oh, thank you. Charlotte, I mentioned to Lisa that you had asked for a shopping trip. She was very excited. So was Brenda. You understand don’t you that I’m with both of them?”
Charlotte grinned and said, “I got that impression when I handed you their wedding rings and officiated at your wedding. By the way, I am licensed to before weddings in the state of Hawaii. And act as a Notary Public, should the need arise. Yes, I’m aware that your family is big
ger than some. I made your bed last night, for Pete’s sake! And Sir, yes, I know that it’s a beautiful thing. I’m very happy for you. Sit down.”
I sat on the little love-seat that she pointed to and tried not to act too surprised when Charlotte sat on my lap and leaned her head against my shoulder. As the moments went by in silence, I put my arms around her and she leaned into me more fully. And after several more minutes, I understood. I needed a hug. I’d lived without one for several years now and even being with Brenda and Lisa for the past few days, neither of them had taken the time to just hug me and to let me hold them the way that Charlotte was doing now. My gosh, what a very strange girl. She poured me juice for breakfast, she anticipated my every need, and now she gave me what I needed and had been missing in life more than sex. And then, at exactly the right moment, she put her left hand to my right cheek and kissed me on the left side of my face.
She slipped easily from my arms and smiled and said, “Write well. Breakfast will be in your suite on the balcony.”
A second later I was alone again. I smiled to myself as I sat down at the table to write. And then I stood back up and walked down to the beach. The strip of sand was about a mile long and the resort was about two-thirds of the way toward the south end. I walked slowly, continuing to settle myself in my surroundings. Settling into my life circumstances.
Writing was an escape. Publishing was a means of receiving affirmation (and rejection) from people I didn’t know. There were two times when I wrote: when I had something to write, and when I wanted entertainment. Instead of watching TV, I wrote books. And when I published them, there was a handful of people who were willing to buy them and appreciate them as well. It was something that I enjoyed. Right now I enjoyed walking along the sand more. What I might enjoy even more than that would be crawling back into bed with Brenda and Lisa and snuggling for a while. That wasn’t going to happen. I was too awake for that. If I tried it, I’d just end up waking them up before they were ready.
Island Cultural Center Page 15
