by DD Prince
He slides it inside, then turns me to my back.
“There’s a leaf in your hair, beautiful Ivy,” he softly tells me, plucking a green leaf from my hair and tossing it.
His hand grazes down my boob to my hip and then he reaches behind my knee and lifts my leg as he slides inside.
My mouth drops open. I absorb the sensation.
He moves down and then slams inside hard.
I whimper.
“You know why you want my cock so much?”
I say nothing.
“Even though you’re angry?” he adds.
I gulp.
“Because you’re mine.” He slams in again and then there’s the fullness increasing, there’s the pulsing action, and yep… there are convulsions on my part as I splinter apart.
His eyes glow with heat as he bites his lip, rocking into me, enjoying the sensations he’s getting.
“Because you’re in heat, my little one. This cum that’s filling you, it might be making children for us. What will we name them?” He caresses my face.
I keep crying out, realize I’m looking into his eyes instead of avoiding his gaze, and then I’m spent.
He finishes, then flips me so that he can gather me on top of him again.
I listen to his heart beating. I fall asleep to it.
And then I jolt awake, feeling like it’s only been a minute, but I’m in the bed alone.
I sit up, pulling the blankets over my nakedness. I’m in a soggy mess of messed-up bedlinens. I need a shower.
I get up, wrapping the sheet around myself and head to the bathroom, remembering there’s only one clean towel left.
We need to buy more towels.
He. Not we.
My face goes hot and I stomp to the bathroom, pissed off.
***
Our eyes meet.
He’s there, at the kitchen table, talking on a phone that’s not my phone in his lounge pants, barefoot and all his muscles on display. He’s wearing a ponytail. It seems he’s taken to the ponytail since I gave him one the night of the strawberry moon party.
I defiantly and snottily twist so that my nose is straight up in the air, so he knows all is definitely not forgiven, and I storm the rest of the short walk to the bathroom. I slam the door for emphasis. And lock it.
I drop the sheet and the towel and sit on the toilet with a harrumph.
Yep, I actually make that noise.
I know I’m being ridiculous, but I’m sort of pissed at myself. Why have I let him fuck me?
I’m not over what happened. How can I be?
Am I actually in heat? I reach over to my makeup bag by the sink and pull out my birth control pack, pop a pill out of the blister pack, and take it.
No way am I ovulating. The pill is over 99% effective when used correctly. I am always sure to use it correctly.
Even when my heart shattered the other day, I took my damn birth control pill at my usual time because it is programed into my brain to do so.
52
Tyson
“Every mated female, huh? Interesting.”
Apparently, the pack’s females go into heat on a similar cycle. Even the ones no longer in their childbearing years. It’s something that can happen according to certain moon cycles and this post strawberry moon phase seems to have love in the air.
I marked the perimeter yesterday. When she got outside, it was as if my scent slammed into her and made her wet for me. That’s exactly how it felt.
I’m on the phone with Greyson who called to check in on things. I’ve also had a cell phone words message from Bailey, from my mother, and from my Aunt Lucy, all telling me hello or that they hope all is well and offering to help, should me or Ivy need anything.
“We have word from the coven connected to Drowsy Hollow, Ty,” Greyson tells me. “Riley, Mason, and I are meeting with them the day after tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
“Yep, we should have some news soon. Once we do, if it seems like a good move, we’d like to have a meeting with all council alphas in the community hall. You bring Ivy. Mase brings Amelia. We’re all there to break things up if things go sideways.”
“We’ll see.”
“Okay, man. I’ll call you later.”
“Where are you in the pack order again, Grey?”
“Fourth.”
“So, when will your mate be revealed?”
“Hopefully soon, man. I’m fuckin’ ready. You, Mase, Rye. Me, Joel and Linc are all keepin’ eyes on Jase right now. He should be next. Then me.”
I laugh. And then my laughter dies.
“What about Riley though? Will he find someone else or forever pine for his lost mate?”
Grey lets out a sigh. “He has to heal first, I think. And for him to heal, he has to start the process. He’s avoidin’ that.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah. You in the fold, I think it’ll help.”
“But I’m not entirely in the fold, am I?”
“Aren’t you?” he asks.
I chew the inside of my cheek for a second.
“You’re torn about it?” Grey asks.
“I’m torn about her. About what I did to her. I don’t think she’ll ever wanna show her face around you all again. And that’s my fault so the least I can do is do my best to make sure she doesn’t get daily reminders of how I hurt her. If she can’t forgive and move forward, I have to remain…”
“A lone wolf,” Grey finishes for me.
My eyes close briefly as that loss washes straight through my body.
I catch movement from the corner of my eye. Ivy’s standing there. She’s just heard all that.
“Yeah. Whatever it takes. She comes first. I understand. And gotta say, bro, I hope she finds a way to get past it. We need you. You need us.”
“Yeah. But I need her more,” I say, staring at her. Her eyes are locked by mine. I don’t want to release them.
“I know,” Grey says, “Or I don’t. But hope to soon be able to relate entirely.”
“I hope you can, too,” I say, still staring at Ivy showered and fresh and I don’t know how to read the look on her face. “Without this part, the pain part.”
“Sometimes you gotta feel the pain, maybe come close to losing it all in order to make sure you always appreciate it,” he says.
I hold the phone.
“Later, Ty. Keep the faith. Love conquers all, so they say.”
“Bye.” I look at the screen and touch the red ‘end’.
“You’d give them up?” she asks, voice hoarse.
“Yes,” I say without hesitation.
“They’re your family. Cat’s your mom. You…” she swallows and secures the towel around her breasts as she stares at me with her wet hair dripping down her throat, landing on her breasts.
She smells so alluring. I want to plant myself inside her again.
This conversation is important though.
“I would like to consider moving to Arcana Falls, to moving in my parents’ house and becoming a member of my pack. But, if you can’t face them after what I did to you in their presence, I won’t do that. I’ll pay that penance and remain a lone wolf here and I’ll do it gladly because no matter what, my first priority is you. I’ll build this into a bigger, better house for you and our children. I’ll do my best to earn your forgiveness over time.” I moisten my lips.
She frowns and sucks on her lower lip.
And then she turns and goes into the bedroom and closes the door.
She doesn’t slam it this time. That’s something. Maybe.
I slump forward in the chair and rub my forehead with my fingertips.
I’ll make her breakfast. She needs food.
I get up and put water on to make honey tea.
I look through the fridge and find the eggs and begin to make her some French toast. And bacon.
I get bits of the eggshell into the French toast liquid and it’s tricky to fish them all out.
The bacon is
burning by the time I do that and then when I put the bread in the pan, it first tears, then sticks, and the egg looks fried all around it in white clumps. It didn’t look like this when Ivy made it for me.
It’s shit. Just shit.
I lift the pan, wishing to throw it, but then I do throw it because fuck is it hot! Bacon liquid singes my wrist and I’ve smashed the window with the pan I’ve thrown.
Ivy’s behind me. I smell her, I feel her. I tamp down my rage and spin.
Her eyes grow larger at the sight of my arm. She grabs my elbow and steers me to the sink. “Here.”
She turns the tap on and pulls my wrist under the cool water.
I grind my teeth, hating the burn.
“What were you doing?” she asks.
“Trying to make breakfast for you,” I snap through clenched teeth.
The cool water is helping but it still hurts.
“I’ll get something from the first aid kit your mom brought over. Hang on. Keep that under the running water.”
She disappears into the bathroom and comes back with the red bag with the cross symbol on it. She turns the water off and puts a towel to my arm to dry it, then applies clear salve to my wrist and then she’s wrapping it in a bandage that goes around and around me.
“There.” She pats my hand. “Sit down. I’ll make something.”
I watch her clean up my mess from the chair, but jump up when I see her dealing with shards of glass on the counter from the window that’s over the sink.
“Don’t cut yourself!” I order.
“I won’t. Sit your bum down,” she bosses me right back.
I feel a smile tug at my lips, but I halt it. I watch her carefully clean up and then she opens a drawer and finds a very old roll of sticky tape and tapes up the small apple-sized hole in the window.
She then cleans up more of my mess and begins making a new batch of French toast. We’re out of bacon. She slices some fruit and sets both plates at the table.
She brings over the two cups. One of honey tea for me. The other, coffee that she made for herself.
She’s wearing a pink t-shirt and her tight black pants with her pink rubber thong shoes. Her hair is in a rope that starts at the top of the back of her head and has the length of her hair weaved in a funny pattern. Little bits of purple are showing through it and a tendril of purple hair has come lose over her temple. The long rope of hair is fastened with a black circle at the bottom. I like her hair like that. I smell that she’s still in heat and want to hold that rope while I fuck her.
I’ll do that after she eats her breakfast.
She lifts her fork to her mouth with the French toast.
“I’m sorry I burnt breakfast,” I say.
Her eyes meet mine and then she turns away.
“I’m sorry you’re so angry with me. I’m sorry for making you angry.”
“I’m not angry, Ty. I’m crushed. There’s a big difference.”
I swallow down a lump. “If you’re so hurt that you punish me forever, I’ll deserve it. But I’ll be here. Trying to be better. Trying for you.”
She pulls her lips tight and looks at me with tears in her eyes.
She swallows and it looks like she does so with difficulty.
I drop to the floor and kiss the top of her foot and then put my forehead to it. “I love you,” I tell her.
She doesn’t move.
“I’m sorry, Ivy. Please forgive me.”
I eventually look up at her beautiful face because she’s said nothing in reply.
“You should eat,” she says, finally. “It’s gonna get cold.”
I get up and sit down across from her. Her French toast looks perfect. She’s sliced bananas and strawberries for my plate. She knows I love them both and the sweet gesture makes my chest feel funny.
I stare at the plate. I’m selfish. I’m a fucking jerk, like she called me who has only thought about myself, my wants. What about what she wants? I’ve hurt her that badly and said sorry and forgive me at the same time as threatening to do it to her again.
She doesn’t deserve that. She deserves better than me.
Should I let her go and just go back into the woods and stay wolf so that eventually, she can move on with her life? Eventually, maybe I’ll forget. And if I don’t, maybe I’ll deserve the pain I feel every minute without her.
If I’ve really broken her, I shouldn’t force her to be with me. Shouldn’t force her to look into the face of the man that hurt her day after day.
I look in her eyes.
She looks in mine.
She looks deep into mine and the hurt from her eyes seeps into me. They’re dull now. They’ve lost the vibrant lavender color. Is it because she hates me?
“Do you want me to go away?” I ask. “I said I wouldn’t. I said I couldn’t. But I hate that I hurt you so much.”
Her hurt expression is now fear.
I don’t want her to be afraid.
“What would you do?” she asks in a small voice.
“Go back into the woods as a wolf. Stay that way.” I look down at my beautiful breakfast.
The silence is loud. Very loud.
I loathe it.
I look up at her face, despite the fear of what I’ll see. That I’ll see that she wants me gone from her life. I see tears streaming down her cheeks. Fuck, I’ve caused so many tears for her.
I get up.
I’m done making her cry.
“I love you,” I say. “Again, I’m so sorry.” I turn from her, which is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, and I head for the door.
I get to the porch and I throw my shirt off. I drop my pants. And I shift.
As soon as my paws hit the ground, I hear the door swing open.
“Wait!” she cries out. “Wait!”
I turn and stare at her.
She walks up to me and approaches slowly, carefully holding her hand out.
I stand tall and watch as she crouches and then she throws her arms around my neck and hugs me, hugs my wolf, burying her face into my fur.
My heart soars and I shift back to man and wrap my arms around her, too.
I stand, lifting her. She wraps her legs around my waist and I take her back inside.
I take her to the bed and lay down and hold her, burying my face into her neck, inhaling the scent of my Ivy. She’s mine.
All mine.
She forgives me? Does she?
“Why did you stop me?”
“Don’t go,” she whispers and then her lips find mine. “Please don’t go.”
“I won’t. Never.” I kiss her with everything I have.
“I love you,” I say.
She nods. “I love you, Tyson.”
My wolf wants to leap into the air, feels like it can leap over the sun.
“I’ve never said that to any guy before, Ty,” she tells me.
“Good,” I say, breathing her in. “I love that.”
I turn her to her back and caress her face. “I can’t promise I won’t ever fuck up again. I wish I could make that promise. I don’t know social rules very well. I don’t have control over that monster in me. But I’ll do my very best to always put you first. To try to teach it to put you first. But, if I screw up again…”
“Shh. Make love to me.” She pulls my head forward to kiss me.
“Because you forgive me or because you’re in heat?”
“Because… fuck me,” she orders.
I smile.
“Okay, little boss,” I whisper, and I peel her pants down to her ankles and then throw her ankles over my shoulders. The pants are still attached to her and serve as an excellent handle. I find my way inside her. She feels like heaven. She feels like mine.
***
I’m drifting off to sleep, playing with the rope of hair at the back of her head. Her sweet voice rouses me.
“Ty?”
“Yes?”
“Everything in me is telling me it’s you. For me. I’ve always had a b
ad habit of ignoring my instincts. I’m not gonna do that this time. That’s why I stopped you from going.”
I squeeze her. “Good.”
53
Ivy
I wake up and have the oddest, queasiest sensation. I think I’m going to puke.
Please don’t tell me I’m pregnant.
Please don’t tell me that his super alpha sperm made me drop an egg despite my birth control pills.
Oh God. Will our babies be puppies? Will they be born as people or wolves? I feel so hot and gross.
I roll off Ty and stagger toward the bathroom. I grip the doorframe for support and hear him call my name.
“I feel so sick,” I tell him, but then abruptly ralph all over the floor by the doorway. And then my legs give out.
Tyson catches me.
54
Tyson
“Her skin is burning hot. Burning. I don’t know why? She threw up. She’s very sick. What do I do?”
“Bring her here, Tyson. Get her here as fast as you can to my clinic.”
I wrap her in the quilt from my bed, though I don’t know if that’s a good idea, because she’s so hot yet she told me she was cold, so I did what I could only think to do. Wrap her in a blanket. I drive like a maniac with her slumped against me, skin hot, face pale.
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with her.
She forgave me and then got sick.
Why?
Why?
***
The clinic is crawling with people who are here to lend support, but I don’t need that. I just want to know Ivy is going to be fine.
I yelled at my mother and I felt bad. She couldn’t make Ivy’s temperature go down. I didn’t mean to yell, but I’m terrified that she’s going to die. I know by Catrina Savage’s face that Ivy’s temperature should not be so high.
Riley, Grey, Joel, Jase, and Linc have all been here, all of them putting their hand on my shoulder or my back, all of them looking deep into my eyes and showing me that they feel my pain.
They don’t. Maybe Riley does. The rest of them don’t.
They haven’t feared loss like this. And I hope they never fucking do.
Cat has put her body on ice, given her many medications to take the fever down, wiped her body down with another liquid, and set up a needle with fluids for Ivy since she threw up three more times since we got here.
