“No,” I say fast. “But we don’t take risks. Not with something so important. Fact is, we don’t know what the fuck’s going on, but want to be prepared for anything. Don’t want anything to blindside us.”
“Sort of like taking out insurance. It’s just in case.”
“It’s exactly that.”
She takes a lungful of air, then comes, “Okay,” on a long drawn out breath. “But you don’t need to sleep on the couch. I’ve got a spare room.”
“Couch is fine.” Give me the comfort of a bed and I might fall fast asleep given the stress of the day. A restless night also means I’ll have one eye open. Just in case.
As if realising she’s got bigger battles ahead which she should save her energy for, she capitulates with a simple, “Goodnight.” Then disappears into what I assume is her bedroom.
For a moment I stare down the hallway, my mind once again asking, where the fuck are you, Skull? I find it hard to believe he’s walked out on a woman like her.
I already know I admire her body and love the food she bakes. While this evening’s conversation hasn’t been easy, I know now I also respect the way she thinks.
It makes me believe Skull didn’t leave because he wanted to, but because he had no choice.
Which begs the question—if he was in trouble, why had he not come to the club?
He didn’t just leave her in the dark, that’s where he’s left us as well.
Why, Skull? Why?
As predicted I have a sleepless night. I jerk awake when I hear footsteps coming back down from where Mel had disappeared to last night. She’s wearing sleep shorts and a tee, perfectly respectable and well covered, but I can tell she’s not wearing a bra under her clothes. I bite back my desire to cradle those sumptuous breasts with my hands, with a reminder she’s not and will never be mine. Her reddened eyes and large yawn that she tries to hide betray she’s also had an unsettled night. It comes as no surprise, she’s worried about Skull, and her newly discovered condition as well. My personal desire is immediately quashed as a wave of compassion floods through me. Skull, where the fuck are you? You’re needed here.
She’s spoken, lost in my thoughts, it takes me a second to process what she’s asked.
“Yeah, coffee would be great.”
She looks a bit glum. “I suppose that’s something I’ll have to give up.”
I don’t have a clue about pregnancy. I shrug. “You can talk to Violet when you get to the compound. She’ll probably know about shit like that. But if you’re not having one for yourself, I can wait.”
“I’ve got some muffins…”
I launch myself to my feet. “Ones you’ve made?” At her nod, I follow her into the kitchen, looking around urgently. “Where, babe?”
My eagerness pulls forth a small smile. Opening a cupboard, she pulls out a tub. Then her face falls. “I made these for Skull. It’s the type he likes.”
As her bottom lip quivers my hunger rapidly fades. “Oh, hon.” I pull her into my arms. “It’s going to be okay.” I have no fucking idea how, but it’s what she needs to hear.
“I’m glad you stayed,” she says, quietly, making an effort to hold back her tears. “It was a comfort having you in the next room. I didn’t feel quite so alone.”
“I was only a call away, hon. Lean on me. While Skull’s not here, lean on me.”
Her breasts, separated only by the thin material of her tee, are pressed against my chest. My cock thinks it feels wonderful, so with one last hug I step away before there’s any physical evidence that my interest in her is more than platonic. Yeah, I can admit that. But I’ll never be acting on it. She’s not for me, but I can be her friend.
Friends can get hard-ons, can’t they?
We forego breakfast in the end. I bring in my empty saddlebags and she stuffs what she can into them. I turn away as I see her come out with an armful of lace, bras and presumably panties. My imagination doesn’t need to be fuelled by images of what she wears under her clothes.
She’s efficient and is quickly packed.
It’s rare I ride with anyone behind me. When she gets on, my bike feels strange, and I take a moment to adjust to the extra weight.
“I’m sorry, I’m too heavy…”
“Stop the fuck right there, woman.” I hate it when women disparage themselves. “I’m not used to a passenger, that’s all. You’ve ridden with Skull, just do the same as you’d do with him.”
“I put my hands around his waist,” she says, hesitantly.
Reaching back, I take hold of her wrists and place her hands firmly around my middle. “Now hang on,” I tell her bluntly, pressing start and selecting first gear.
Then, aware of the precious cargo she’s carrying, point the bike toward the compound and ride carefully through the streets of Pueblo.
When we arrive at the clubhouse, I place my hand on her arm, making her turn and look up at me questioningly.
“Speak to Vi,” I urge. “I know women like to keep shit about being pregnant quiet at the start, so I won’t be telling anyone else, except for Prez and VP as they already suspect. But you need support, Mel. Vi’s straight, and she’ll know what you’re going through. Let her help.”
She’s thoughtful for a moment, then nods. “You’re right. I wasn’t going to tell anyone. But I don’t have a clue about doctors, making appointments, and what I should or shouldn’t be doing. It’s a good idea to speak to someone who knows.” She breaks off and covers the hand which is still on her arm with her own. “Thank you, Pyro. For everything. I’m glad I didn’t find out alone.”
“You’re not alone,” I remind her.
But the look she gives me back tells me the one man she wants is still missing.
I enter the clubhouse carrying the saddlebags full of her clothes having told her I’ll dump them in Skull’s room, where she can sort them out later. I’m heading toward the stairs when a voice bellows out.
“Ro!”
“Prez? Can it wait a moment? Just dropping Mel’s shit off in Skull’s…”
“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Can you come in here a moment?”
I change direction and follow him into his office.
He’s standing behind his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We got a problem. Well, same one as always. Lack of space.”
Okay. I shrug. That’s not news.
“Hellfire.”
“But he can… oh.”
“Yeah.”
Hellfire had given up his suite so Demon and Vi had a bigger space. Of course, most of the time they live off compound in Vi’s old family home which Demon had purchased as a surprise for her when she thought she had to sell it. But being on lockdown, means her, Demon and their son, Theo, will be staying here now.
“Beef’s moved into my old room.”
“So where are you putting Hell and Mo?”
He shrugs. “Skull’s is the only room available.”
Fuck. There’s no space for Mel. “Mel needs to be here, Prez. She took a test. Wants it kept quiet, but, yeah, she’s expecting. Being Skull’s she could have a huge fuckin’ target on her back. If she’s not here, she’ll need brothers protecting her at her…”
His hands slam down on the desk. “I’m all too fuckin’ aware she needs to be here, Ro. But things had to be decided fast last night. I had Mo swearing up a storm at having to come in on lockdown, what was I to say? That there wasn’t a fuckin’ room? Only solution I could come up with fast.”
As the ex-prez, if there’s anyone out for the club, Hellfire would be in the direct line of fire. No way he or his wife could stay home.
I shake my head, closing my eyes briefly. “Prospects?”
“Already sleeping two to a room. You know this, Ro.”
Mel needs somewhere to sleep. The only way she’s going to get one is for someone to give up their room. I can’t see anyone offering, Skull being so new, it’s not just me he’s not particularly close to.
I sigh.
“She can have mine.”
“And you’ll, what? Sleep on the couch? No, Ro, can’t ask you to do that.”
“Don’t think you asked, Prez. I offered.” I roll back my head, trying to get the kinks out from last night when I slept, or tried to, on Mel’s sofa. Now I’m committing myself to having uncomfortable nights for fuck knows how long.
Sleeping arrangements decided, I move this along. “Any news, Prez?”
“Not one darn thing. Don’t even know where Skull went during that month. No one fucking knows.”
“Judge? Wills?” They prospected alongside him.
“Nope and fuckin’ no. I’ve pressed them, but they don’t know any more than the rest of us. That’s the bare facts. He was injured, hurting. Left without a word, and returned just as quietly. Pal was the first to speak to him, but he just welcomed him home. No one thought to ask him where he’d been. Didn’t seem important at the fuckin’ time.”
I knew Demon would have called if there’d been news, so that there wasn’t, isn’t surprising.
I just wish we knew what we were dealing with. As I’d told Mel, without information, all we could do is prepare for anything.
Chapter Fourteen
Melissa
“Melissa. Oh, Mel. Come here.”
Violet holds out her arms. I step into them, then quickly pull back, rubbing at my eyes, still sore from last night. I hold up my hands. “Don’t make me cry again, Vi,” I warn. “I take it they’re no closer to knowing where Skull is?”
I would have heard, I’m sure. The small shake of her head is just confirmation that my man’s still in the wind. Jeannie’s paused in her task of chopping up vegetables presumably in preparation for dinner tonight. Mo, who I’d met briefly at the barbeque a few weeks back is working alongside her, banging utensils in a way that shows she’s unhappy.
“It’s not her fault, Mo,” Jeannie hisses.
But Demon’s mother doesn’t turn or even look in my direction. I know she rarely comes to the compound, so is likely to think even less of being on lockdown than I do. I feel like apologising, but Jeannie’s right, it’s not down to me, although it is my man who’s the cause of the disruption.
“Can I speak to you, Vi?”
She sends a glare toward her mother-in-law’s back, then smiles toward me. “Outside?”
That will do.
I follow her out to a picnic table on the lawn Beef had prepared for Steph. When I’d first seen it, this yard looked like a bombsite with rubbish strewn everywhere. Full of hazards for a woman who couldn’t see anything. Even though she’d been missing at the time, Beef had planted a garden just for her, everything flattened and perfumed flowers all over. It’s now a beautiful space we all enjoy.
Vi barely lets me get my butt on the seat before she starts, “I apologise for Mo, Melissa. It’s just a shock to her that lockdown has been imposed so quickly. She’s got reasons not to like coming to the club. She’ll come around, but right now she’s looking for someone to take out her irritation on.”
It wasn’t what I’d wanted to talk to her about, but now it’s out in the open, I’m happy to discuss it. “I wish it wasn’t happening myself. I hate that I’m here and Skull’s not. Hate that I don’t know where he is or what’s going on with him.” I break off and swallow back down that threatening sob.
“Melissa…”
“But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about. Vi, I need your advice. Can you keep a secret?”
She straightens her back and grins. “I’m the prez’s old lady.”
I nod. “I’m pregnant. Only just. I found out yesterday.”
She frowns. “Did Skull know?”
“No. He knew it was a slight possibility, but we’d only been careless a couple of times. Got away with it the first time, thought this would be the same.”
She digests that. “What can I do to help? You say it wasn’t planned. Do you intend on keeping it?”
“Yes,” I say firmly. There isn’t one doubt in my mind. “But I don’t know anything, like whether I can drink coffee, what I should be doing, what vitamins I should be taking…”
“Whoa, hold up. I can certainly help. You know my story? I didn’t have the best pregnancy.”
I recall hearing she’d been raped. Theo isn’t Demon’s son, but he couldn’t act more like a father to him.
“Thing is, Mel, we can’t always control how or when we get pregnant, but we have to deal with it when it happens. I know you must be missing Skull terribly, but the men and old ladies in the club will step up and help. One thing to remember, you’re not on your own.”
“That’s what Pyro told me. But I can’t understand it. Skull was a member, not me.”
“While Skull’s gone, everyone will step into his shoes to help you. Whatever he’d have done, they’ll do for you. You got a doctor’s appointment? Someone will be there with you.”
But they won’t hold me in the night, they won’t love on me. And, if Skull, heaven forbid, doesn’t return, won’t be there to be a father to my baby.
“I feel so disorientated, Vi. One moment I thought I was in a relationship with the man I loved. Next it appears he’s walked out on me, and now I’m having his child. A child he may never know.” I sob out the last word, then fight to regain control of myself.
She frowns. “Let’s break this down. First, you don’t know what happened. You don’t know that he left you. Second, yes, you’re pregnant and you want this baby.”
“With everything that I am. Might not be good timing, but yes, I want my son or daughter.”
She raises her eyebrow. “Even as a single mom?”
Again, I’m positive. “Yes. Vi, you say I’ve got the club behind me. I’ve also got parents. If I’m struggling, I know they’d help.”
“They in Pueblo?”
“Denver.”
“You thinking of going to them?”
Am I? I examine my feelings. Right now, my explanation would indicate I’m a failure, that my man left me pregnant and alone. I’d rather go to them when I can give them some firm information. Like why Skull left, where he’s gone, and whether he can, or intends to, return home.
“Not until I know what’s happened,” I sum up. “I, er, I don’t know what to tell them.”
Leaning over the table, she pats my arm. “In the meantime, you’ll have us. Want me to set up an appointment with my OB/GYN?”
“Is it too early?”
“What are you, four or five weeks?”
“Thereabouts.”
She thinks for a moment. “I’ll make it for a week or so’s time. In the meantime, I can talk you through the basics. No, or very limited, caffeine.”
This is going to be a very long nine months. No, not nine, I realise. One has already passed.
“Stress isn’t good for the baby, Melissa. I know it’s hard but try to think positively. The club is doing everything possible to find your man and get him back where he belongs. There’s nothing you can do that they can’t. Please, try not to worry.”
Good advice, but probably impossible to follow. Not worry about my man? How on earth could I do that?
“You coming back inside? I’ll tell Mo her grandma cuddles with Theo will be restricted if she’s not nice to you.”
I laugh, as I’m meant to.
“You know,” she adds, shrewdly, “it’s early and people don’t normally announce it so soon, but in the circumstances, as you don’t have your man to share it with, if I were you, I’d let people know you’re expecting. That way, if you start getting irritable, everyone will understand.”
I really hope I don’t start acting like a prima donna, but who knows what pregnancy hormones will do to me? I’m in uncharted waters from now on.
“And,” she continues, “Mo adores babies. If she knows there’ll be another on the compound, she’ll be over the moon, and might just overlook the reason why she has to be here.”
Vi might have a point.
Saying she’ll gi
ve me some space, she gets up and leaves. My natural impulse is to keep my news to myself, but she’s right. I don’t have a man to share my excitement and fears with. Perhaps this is a different situation. I could tell my mom, but a long-distance phone call isn’t a satisfactory way of doing that, and would leave me open to questions I don’t have answers for, like is Skull excited about the news? Coming clean, at least to the club who’ve apparently adopted me as one of their own, might just make things a little easier.
And, if the worse happens and I lose the baby, which isn’t unheard of in the early weeks, I will need support.
“You okay, Mel?”
I glance up at Pyro’s deep voice and watch as he takes the place so recently vacated by his prez’s wife. “You were right.”
“Yeah?” He waggles his eyebrows. “Usually am, darlin’.”
I curb the impulse to swat him. “About coming to the club. It's better than being alone with my thoughts.”
His chin dips then rises. “That’s why I love this life. If I’m angry, I can rant to my brothers. Spar with them to lose the physical rage. Unhappy? There’ll be someone with a shoulder to cry on, metaphorically speaking,” he adds fast. “I’m a man after all.”
Another small smile curves my lips. If I was alone at home, I’d be weeping and bemoaning my fate. While here, Vi’s being practical, and Pyro’s doing his best to make me laugh.
I can’t help getting my own dig in. “And if you’re horny, there are the sweet butts.”
His eyes widen. “You did not just say that Mel.”
Oh, I think I did.
His face is blank for a moment, then he laughs loudly. When he stops, he grows serious again. “Want to go get your bags unpacked and settled?” Without waiting for my answer, he stands and holds out his hand to help me up. Then, when I’m on my feet, abruptly let’s go. “Come on, then.”
It seems he intends to escort me.
“It’s okay, I know where I’m going.”
“Er, about that, Mel. You’re not staying in Skull’s room. As everyone has had to come to the compound, we’ve been moving people around.”
Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6 Page 12
