“She gave me a summary. Said she was kidnapped by one of the members who’s gone now.”
“Yeah.” I rub my beard. “Someone was causing trouble for the club. Tried to get people arrested for shit they hadn’t done. That person caused a drive-by shooting and all signs all pointed to Runt as we called Skull at the time. Changing his name was one of the bargains he made.”
“I knew he’d had the name Runt,” she corrects. “But what are these bargains? And why did he make them?”
I ignore her question. It will be answered in time. “We thought he was the one responsible. Went after him pretty hard. Hurt him, bad. He wasn’t saying anything. We thought he was planning worse. Turned out the culprit was, plans were already in progress to take Jayden, but as Runt didn’t know, he couldn’t warn us.” I glance at her; she rightly looks horrified. “It was fuckin’ serious, Mel. Jayden could have died. We knew an asshole was fuckin’ with us and it had to stop. Turned out Runt had been set up. He wasn’t telling us anything as he didn’t have anything to tell. We were so fuckin’ sorry when we found out. Made a man hurt when he was innocent.”
“What did he do? How could he ever trust you again?”
She’s gotten straight to the heart of it. “He left the club. I agree with you, we thought that was the last we’d seen of him. How could he come back when he’d suffered through that?”
Her eyes crease. “But he did return?”
“Yeah, he returned darlin’.” At the time I’d respected him for it.
Her head shakes. “Why?”
“Couple of reasons he said. He knew he’d been set up by an expert. He was away for a month licking his wounds, when he came back he said he understood what we had done. Had had time to cool down and a chance to clear his head. He missed the camaraderie and wanted it, knew what we’d done was to keep the club safe, a club he’d worked hard to be part of. We agreed to patch him straight in, named him Skull as he has a hard head, and that, we thought, was the end of it.”
She stares at me but doesn’t ask more. I leave her to come to her own conclusions, which she does. “You think he’s waited all this time for some sort of revenge? No, Pyro. That is not the man I know. Not the man who’s the father of my baby. You’re crazy if you think that.”
“Mel, I haven’t told you anymore than everyone here knows. Skull’s been a good brother since he was patched in, we all trust him. But he does have reasons to hate the club. Now you’re saying he tried to use you to get info and it turns out he may have had a burner which he could have used shortly before he disappeared into the blue. Two and two sometimes does add up to five.”
“Or doesn’t add up to anything at all. Pyro, he wasn’t using me. He loved me. I’m certain that was true. He couldn’t fake that. If he was going to leave, why didn’t he take me too? Why leave me here?”
“What if he had been going to hurt the club, but couldn’t do it in the end?” I’m thinking aloud. “Maybe his leaving was him cancelling his plans, not commencing them.”
“But what about me?” she wails. “Where do I fit in? Tell me that, Pyro. What about me?”
Chapter Sixteen
Melissa
“What about me?” I scream at Pyro.
I’m so angry at the man who I thought was my friend. Perhaps Skull would have told me what happened in time, perhaps I’d have heard…
“That’s it!” I exclaim. “Skull was worried one of the women would let drop something about what happened to him, and he was worried it would turn me against the club.”
“No, I don’t think it’s that.” Pyro shakes his head sadly. “You said he encouraged you to speak to the women and find out about us. If he was worried, he’d have kept you away, not pushed you in.
I suppose that’s true. Anger wells up again. Pyro admits they hurt him, and badly enough he went away for a month. But Skull looking for revenge? That doesn’t work. “Skull loves the club, Pyro. He joined for the family he doesn't have and loves all of you.” He sold it to me enough in those terms and haven’t I seen that for myself? Demonstrated by how everyone’s rallied around to make sure I’m alright, and just because, in their eyes, I belong to their lost man.
“What do you expect him to do? Hurt you? Hurt one of the women? Theo? That’s not the man I know.” Skull might retaliate if he was directly attacked or would step in to save somebody else. I’m certain Skull wouldn’t want a dish served cold, which revenge in this case would be. Skull is not a man who’d let ill done to him fester.
Pyro’s holding out his hands palms up, as if confirming he hasn’t really thought this through.
“You really think he’s hung around biding his time to get his own back on you. And he does this how, by disappearing?”
“Mel, I don’t have the answers. All I know is that it’s raised more questions. You’re right. I could more easily believe it if it wasn’t for you. You’re an amazing woman, Mel. No,” he looks cross, “don’t dismiss yourself like that. You are, beautiful too. So, Skull lands himself a real winner. Why would he leave you? That makes no sense.”
A real winner? Amazing. Beautiful? Pyro needs his eyes tested. I shelve that for now. “Because he was worried I was pregnant.”
“Nah,” he shakes his head. “Even that doesn’t ring true. First, he didn’t actually know, and second, Skull was, is, a good man. I can’t believe he’d walk away from his responsibilities. Okay, so there may be some of us who don’t like the idea of being tied down with kids, but if it’s no longer theoretical, most men change their minds and step up to being a dad. I think that would have been Skull.”
I give a small nod. I think that would have been Skull too.
“And you’re also right. Skull’s not the type to wait for revenge. We were surprised he came back to the club, suspicious of his motives for a while. But to wait this long? To claim an ol’ lady, and then fuck off? Doesn’t make sense. And don’t you fuckin’ doubt it, Mel, that man loved you. X-rated demonstrations in the clubhouse proved that.”
He winks. They were not X-rated, but perhaps PG.
Skull loved, loves, me. Even his brothers could see it. So why has he gone and left me in the lurch?
Pyro stands. He walks to the door and drops his forehead against the wood. “What do we know, Mel? Let’s talk it through.”
“Skull could have called someone on a phone no one knew he had.” Unless my memory is at fault, and he hadn’t walked out with a phone at all. Could it have been something else? I shake my head, doubting my eyesight now. “Then he came back and acted quite normally for almost two weeks. He left that morning, saying he’d be gone only a couple of days.”
“He gave you every indication he’d be returning?”
Now I go through the conversation in my head. “He was definite. Maybe not so much about the timing, but he said it was only one night that he’d be away.”
“So, if we take it at face value, Skull had every intention to come back. We’re left working on the premise that something or somebody stopped him.”
“He didn’t tell anyone in the club he was leaving at all.”
Pyro continues thinking aloud. “Perhaps he didn’t think he had to. He went on a Sunday, intended to be back the next day. The security work was slow, Pal didn’t expect him to turn up. Members are trusted to put their hours in, so there was no reason for Pal to think anything other than he’d been working at the auto-shop instead. Likewise, there was no need for Pal to tell me to expect him, so I didn’t have cause to miss him when he didn’t turn up.”
“I don’t come to the club during the week when I’m working, so you wouldn’t have found out that way.”
“You speak to the women. When he’d returned, you could have dropped in conversation he’d been away. We’d have eventually found out.”
“So, he’d have had an excuse ready, and it would have to be something the club would accept.”
“That’s easy, darlin’. He could have said you and he had had words, and he’d taken off t
o clear his head. But really, he’d have needed no explanation if he’d been back the next day. Brothers don’t need permission to do their own personal shit, not unless it impacts the club.”
Maybe that is what happened. I frown. “We had had an argument, but it had been a while back. I’m sure that wasn’t the reason he left. We’d cleared the air, he’d apologised, and there was nothing in his behaviour leading up to him leaving that would have suggested he was still brooding.”
“Us men are funny creatures, Mel. Sometimes we just get the urge to go riding.”
“Would you have done it that way, Pyro? Walked out on a woman having told her a lie?”
“We’re not talking about me. But, no. I don’t think so. Though I don’t have an ol’ lady, so I can’t really say what I’d do. Skull may have wanted to avoid more discussion. If he’d said he needed to feel the wind in his hair, what would you have said?”
I think for a moment. No, I wouldn’t have agreed without discussion, not if I’d thought he was brooding about whether or not I was pregnant. “If it was just a ride then I’d have understood, but if he wanted to work out how he felt, I would have tried to persuade him to stay so we could talk through our problems together.”
“I think that’s enough said. That could have been his reason for telling you it was club business.” He turns so he’s now facing me. “He might have used the phone to call someone who calmed him down that night. He came back after the call, didn’t he? Made it up to you? But maybe in his mind it had festered… Maybe he went to the person he’d called to talk it through. Who knows? But I agree, he had every intention of returning, but didn’t, or, he couldn’t.”
“We’re no further forward, are we?” I wipe an errant tear from my eye.
He notices. “Oh darlin’. Don’t upset yourself.”
I wave him off, not wanting my sorrow to cause this conversation to stop.
He must realise I’m strong enough to continue. “There’s just that nagging doubt of why he felt the need to hide shit.”
I rest my head in my hands, trying to work it through. “Skull loved the club, loved the life. I’ve no doubt of that. Whatever you did to him, he’d gotten over it, I’m certain. If he felt the need for secrecy, maybe it’s something in his past?”
“If he went to stay with a friend, he could have called them from his club phone.” Pyro seems like a dog with a bone. “Why didn’t he?”
“Perhaps he, or she,” I grimace, “is someone the club wouldn’t approve of.” Once again wheels turn in my head. “Skull goes to them injured after he was beaten up for something he hadn’t done. If they’re a good friend, they might not have liked him going back to the club. Maybe he wants to keep that side of his life completely separate.”
“Maybe, could be, might.” Pyro’s head moves side to side, and his jaw tightens. “Too many questions, not enough answers.”
What he means is, we’re no closer to finding my man.
“I want to know, Pyro,” my voice breaks, “if he’s dead, I want to know.”
“Oh sweetheart.” He sees another tear fall and comes over, his strong arms wrapping around me. “Hang on to the hope he’s still breathing. You may think you could accept the worst, but if it comes, it will be bad. While we don’t know, you can be optimistic, which you need to be right now. Don’t give up, not yet. You owe it to you and the baby.”
Another tightening of his arms, then he pulls back. “I’ve got to go see Prez. You going to be okay, or do you want me to find Violet and send her to you?”
My emotions are swinging from one extreme to the other. Probably hormones have something to do with it, but also the situation I’m in. One moment I’m angry at Skull for leaving me, the next grieving his absence. Talking with Pyro has helped, but I feel totally wrung out now.
“I don’t want to keep talking about it. I’ll be fine on my own. If I need company, I’m a big girl.” My mouth twists at my unintended double meaning. “I can go find it.” That’s one thing about lockdown, there’s usually someone around.
Leaning forward, he places a chaste kiss to my forehead, then stands and leaves.
I stare at the door after he closes it. They think there’s a possibility Skull might be some kind of traitor, but I know he’d never betray them. That is not the lover I allowed into my bed, and certainly not the man who’s captured my heart, or the one who’s currently breaking it.
Thursday passes like any other day. I pull myself together, am escorted today by the prospect, Beaver, to work, then, after a tedious day conducting land searches, I’m followed by a different bike on the return journey.
It might be psychological, but already pregnancy seems to be making me tired, and I yawn my way through the dinner Jeannie has prepared.
“It gets you like that,” Violet observes. “Tired all the time.”
“Even this early?”
“One of the earliest symptoms, yes.”
“Second trimester is normally better,” Mo puts in. “You get a second wind. I think it’s nature’s way of giving you energy to get your nest ready.”
“And in the third, you’re so big you can’t do anything,” Vi laughs. “Oh, I’ve spoken to Lizard. He’s happy if I take the morning off for your appointment.”
I, too, have already booked time off work, but she really doesn’t have to. “You don’t need to come with me, Violet.”
Her look tells me she’ll have no argument on this. If I’m honest, I’ll appreciate the company. Let’s face it, I’ve not been pregnant before, and I don’t know how any of this works. Having her with me when I have my first check-up with the doctor could be good.
“Hey, I found this. You might like to read it. I found it was good and helped me know what to do and what to expect.”
This turns out to be a large illustrated book about pregnancy and childbirth. My eyes light up. I’d certainly like to read it. When she passes it over, I start to flick through the pages. Stopping at one, my eyes open in horror.
“Oh, God, no.”
Jeannie, who’s come up behind me, leans over, takes a look, and snorts. “Your poor pussy,” she comments.
“I do not stretch that way.” I complain.
“You will,” both Vi and Mo speak at the same time. They’re laughing. I glare. They’ve both experienced birth and know what to expect. I’ve got this to look forward to in less than eight months.
“How the hell did you do this three times, Mo?”
“It’s easier with the second,” she replies, giving her daughter-in-law a pointed look.
“What?” says Vi, innocently.
“Anything you want to tell me?”
“Mo, stop. You know we want to wait until Theo’s a little bit older. I promise, when I am, you’ll be the first to know.”
Demon’s mother pouts, then pulls her chair in a bit closer to mine. “Then I’ll just have to be a proxy grandmother to Mel’s for now.”
I give her a genuine smile. That actually sounds nice.
But it reminds me I haven’t told my parents. How can I? How do I explain I might be a single mother? I don’t think they’ll be judgmental, it’s just, I still haven’t found the right words to form an explanation, when I don’t know what’s going on myself. I won’t be able to put it off forever, soon I’ll have to admit Skull is gone.
Each day I hope for news, but it never comes. Days pass slowly, one after the other, each twenty-four-hour period the same as the last. I go to work and try to concentrate on doing my job. Because of my reddened eyes, my forlorn expression of hope when the phone rings, I’ve had to tell co-workers that Skull’s disappeared, but not that I’m having his baby. Unfortunately, they treat him being missing as an intriguing mystery, and I have to put up with a daily inquisition. Is there news? No. Any new ideas why? Again, no. They offer up theories and then look at me with that sad look in their eyes. It was Carter who dared to say the words, Bikes are dangerous, he probably had an accident.
It’s not much bett
er at the weekend when I’m in the clubhouse. If people talk about Skull I get upset, if they don’t, I want to cry. Life goes on and they’re moving onto other things now, Skull being gone is yesterday’s topic.
Time also rushes by all too fast. Each day gone is another that he’s been missing, and they are starting to mount up. Even I know as the period of time lengthens, it’s hardly a good sign. If he was able to return or wanted to, he’d have come back by now.
The day of my appointment with the OB/GYN comes around. When I descend the staircase, I don’t just find Violet waiting for me, but Pyro as well.
When I cock my eyebrow, he nods to Vi, then takes me to one side.
“Mel, if Skull was here, he’d be going with you. But he can’t be, so I’m coming in his place.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know, but I owe it to him as my brother.”
“I’ve got Vi…”
“Let me go with you, instead. Mel. Let me give you the support Skull would have given.”
But he’s not Skull.
Pyro’s been there for me since Skull went missing.
I might not have my man with me, but Pyro seems hellbent on making sure I won’t be going through this alone.
“If you’re not comfortable with the arrangement, Mel, we can stick to the original plan,” Vi offers, anxiously.
I won’t have Skull, but Pyro seems intent on being his proxy. While I’m sure the doctor won’t be judgmental, there’s something comforting about walking in with a man.
“Okay,” I say slowly. “Thank you, Pyro.”
Vi leans over to the sofa and picks up a cushion, asking casually, “Did this make a difference Ro?”
Pyro rubs his neck. “Yeah, it did. Thanks Vi.”
“Make a difference to what?” I look from one to the other.
“Sleeping on the sofa,” Vi informs me.
My eyes crease. “You’re sleeping on a sofa? Why?”
Pyro’s eyes close briefly, then reopen. “Because you’re in my room.”
Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6 Page 14
