“Me too,” I laugh back, her joy is infectious. “All the sights and sounds of the strip. Not that I’m jealous.” I pout.
“Maybe you can get your friend Pyro to take you.”
I slap that down immediately. “Pyro’s not that kind of friend. He’s just looking out for me.”
“Hmm. He spends a lot of time with you.”
Because he’s doing it for his dead brother. Not for me.
Sometimes I regret that. When he places that innocent kiss to my forehead whenever he leaves me, I have to resist raising my head and accidentally letting our mouths meet.
Must be the pregnancy hormones making me horny.
Chapter Nineteen
Pyro
Mel’s got this adorable little baby bump going on. I keep sneaking glances when she’s not looking. I can’t wait until she can feel it move, and perhaps she’ll allow me to place my hand on her stomach to experience it. That’s my niece or nephew in there, I keep telling her, but really, I’m feeling almost paternal. It might not have been my sperm that created it, my dick might never have experienced the inside of her cunt whether gloved up or bare, but it doesn’t stop me feeling I’ve been with her every step of the way on her pregnancy journey.
Only one thing better would be if I got up the nerve to tell her how I really feel about her.
She’s one hundred percent focused on doing everything right for the baby and is not in the market for a man, which is lucky as I won’t need to look for places to bury a body. I know I’d kill any fucker who touched her with his hands, let alone put his cock anywhere near her.
There are so many times while I allow myself the only liberty I can take when I wish my lips could feel her mouth, and not just touch the skin of her forehead.
I’d like to think we’re good friends now. I can make her smile, laugh, and I am happy she responds to me. Of course, she hasn’t forgotten Skull, but the initial pain has lessened considerably.
I don’t want to fuck our friendship up. If I press my case and try to get more, I may end up with nothing at all.
She’s eighteen weeks now, and today we’re going to see the baby. I’m so damn excited I keep dropping my tools and can’t keep the grip on the nut I’m turning.
“Yo, Ro.”
Now I’ve an excuse to give up. I stand. “Prez.”
“Just wanted to say I hope it all goes well today. Mel’s having her ultrasound, isn’t she?”
“Yes.” I nod. I’ve been trying to keep my reaction low-key and hide my feelings from my brothers.
“I wish I’d seen Theo, you know? Not met him when he was already seven months.” His face falls. “I let Violet down, I would have been there for her if she’d have felt she could come to me.”
I don’t know what to say, so settle for, “She knows that, Prez.”
“I’m pleased, Ro, that you’re going to be there for Mel. Fuckin’ sorry that Skull can’t be.”
We both raise our fists to our hearts momentarily. Still no body, but he’s dead, we all know it. Respect to our lost brother now always shown whenever his name is mentioned.
“Couldn’t leave her to do it alone, Prez. She’s club.”
“See if you can bring her around after, Ro, she’s stayed away too long. I bet a lot of us would like to see the picture of that new Devil she’s incubating.”
I’ve already decided to pay out for the best quality one they can offer. “I’ll do that.” Hopefully I can persuade her to come to the club. Surely Mel will enjoy showing it off? As long as it plays along, we’ll know whether it’s a boy or a girl as well.
Prez suddenly grins. “I’m jealous as fuck, you know? I’ll have to wait until Vi gets pregnant again.”
I smirk. “That’s up to you, Prez.”
As he laughs, I glance up at the clock. “Well I better get going. Don’t want to be late.”
“That you don’t. Get out of here, Ro.”
I show him my middle finger as I walk off.
I take a car, Mel’s stopped riding on the back of my bike now, not so much because she’s too big, but she’s terrified she’s going to fall off. I suppose our supposition that Skull was killed in a riding accident doesn’t give her confidence.
Pulling up outside her house, I toot the horn. The door opens, and she steps out. As normal my gut clenches at just the sight of her, and my cock starts to swell. Down, fella, down. I mentally recite all the parts of an engine.
By the time Mel’s eased herself in, my chubby has, at last, diminished.
“Ready for this?” I ask as I drive down the road.
“Don’t get too excited, Ro. The baby may not cooperate, and we might not be able to see what sex it is.”
“Just seeing it will be great. Hey, what’s the matter?” My hand closes the gap between us and squeezes hers. “What’s up Mel?” Is she wishing it was Skull sitting beside her? Be strange if she wasn’t, I suppose. But sometimes, like now, I have to force myself not to get jealous of a dead brother.
But she’s not thinking about her old man. She’s got something else on her mind. “I’m scared they’ll find something wrong with the baby, Ro. What if they do? What if its organs are inside out or something? Or it doesn’t have a head, or it’s not developing properly.”
I don’t make platitudes and tell her it will be fine. What do I know? Tightening my fingers on hers once again, I just reply, “Then we’ll deal, okay? I’m right here beside you. Anything shows up wrong, we’ll find out the options and make decisions from there.”
Turning my head, I catch her eyes which are open wide. But I do hear her almost whispered reply as I focus my attention back on the road.
“What did I do to deserve a friendship with a man like you, Ro? I honestly don’t know how I’d have come this far without you.”
I have nothing to answer her with. Instead, I promise, “I’ll be with you the rest of the way too. You can’t get rid of me now. I’m like some nasty rash you’ve picked up and can’t cure, I’m here to stay.”
I turn toward her again, this time, to wink.
As I hoped, she laughs.
But she’s tense in the doctor’s office. I stay by her side, holding her hand as the nurse puts a clear liquid on her stomach, I go still when they place the wand to her skin. I hold my breath as the doctor moves it around, then feel tears prick in my eyes when I hear a cross between a fast thumping and a whoosh whooshing sound.
“There it is.” The doctor turns the screen around. “See? The head, there’s one arm, the other’s hidden, and there are the legs.
“Is it sucking its thumb?” Mel asks in wonder while I’m too choked up to speak.
“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” The doctor proceeds to take measurements and makes satisfactory sounds. “Everything looks to be exactly how we’d want it. And fits nicely with your due date.” Then she adds the words I hoped to hear, “Would you like to know what you’re having?”
“Yes,” we both say together.
“Now this is my best estimate,” she warns. “There’s still a chance I could be wrong, but from what I can see, I’m fairly confident you’re having a boy.”
A son. No, a nephew. Fuck, I have to remember that. But I couldn’t feel any prouder.
“Pyro, are you crying?” an astonished voice asks.
“Nope,” I deny it, brushing my tears away. “Got something in my eye.”
“Strangely that happens to a lot of dads,” the doctor says drily. “Must be dusty in here.”
Mel giggles.
“Can we have a photo, doc?” I cough to clear my throat.
“Of course.”
It’s not long before I’m holding a colour picture in my hands. I hold it reverently, before passing it and the cardboard envelope over to Mel. Her eyes are glistening, she’s completely oblivious to the nurse wiping the gel from her stomach.
“You can get dressed now.”
I sit stunned during the rest of the appointment. I’d known Mel was pregnant, sure, but
actually seeing the baby? While I know it was still small, not quite six inches long and still with one fuck of a lot of growing to do, I already know I’d give up my life to keep him and his mother safe. I love him.
I don’t know how, or why, I just do. And however Mel will have me, as a friend if not a lover, I’ll be by his side as he grows. I couldn’t feel more for that blob on the screen if I was his true father.
“I didn’t expect that,” I tell her in the car, after we get in but I’ve yet to start the engine. “I didn’t expect he’d be so well formed. He was a recognisable baby.”
“Thank God,” she says with feeling, and follows her heartfelt statement up with, “I’ll tell you what I didn’t expect.”
“What?”
“You to cry.”
“If you say one word of that in the clubhouse…” I growl.
“If I promise I won’t, will you take me there now?”
I turn to her completely thunderstruck. She’s looking a bit nervous as if I’m going to refuse. For a moment I can’t say anything. My arguments to persuade her to filling my head, I find it hard to change direction. I ask to make certain I’ve understood her.
“The compound?”
She gives a small smile. “I thought going back would remind me of Skull, then I thought your brothers would soon forget me. But they haven’t, have they? Everyone who’s visited has tried to persuade me back. The club’s still got prospects doing the odd jobs. Because I hadn’t been, I kind of lost the nerve to go. But now? Now with the physical evidence of my baby inside, knowing he’s healthy and everything looks alright, I suddenly feel confident. You were right, Ro. This baby’s got more than grandparents, he’s got you and his other uncles and aunts who deserve to know him.”
“Fuckin’ got that right, darlin’.” The corners of my mouth turn up. “I was actually under orders from the prez to kidnap you if I had to.”
“You were?” She sounds surprised Demon would give a damn.
“Too damn right,” I confirm. “You’re one of ours, Mel. Ain’t nothing changed.”
She draws in a sharp breath, and I look at her concerned, but it’s to find she’s smiling.
Inside, I’m delighted it’s the first place she wants to go.
As soon as she steps in through the door to the clubhouse, she can be left in no doubt I’d told her no lies.
“Mel! ‘Bout fucking time,” yells Ink delightedly. His words are echoed from all quarters.
“Alright, alright. She’s been fuckin’ welcomed. Now what the fuck is she having? Some of us have got money riding on this,” Lizard grumbles, while pulling her in for a hug, his actions softening his words.
I glance at her once he lets her go. We hadn’t discussed whether she wanted anyone to know. But there’s a big wide grin on her face, and she gives me a slow nod.
I’ve got permission, so I waste no time, opening my mouth to give a hearty shout of, “It’s a boy.”
Half cheers, half groans, and dollars change hands. Mel’s taking it all in good fun and laughing.
“Congratulations, Mel.” Demon’s stepped up to her, expectantly holding out his hand palm up.
Mel stares down, wondering what he’s doing. It’s not positioned as though he expects her to shake it. I know exactly what he wants, so I slide the envelope out of my cut and extract the photo.
“Jeez. He has got a dick,” Demon’s says, holding the picture close.
“Let me see…” Beef takes it out of the prez’s hands. “That’s a dick? Hope that’s going to fuckin’ grow.”
“Beef!” Steph, who’s hanging onto his arm snorts, while grinning accurately in Mel’s direction. “Of course it will grow. Just like the rest of him. How big is he now, Mel? Describe him to me. What does he look like? Can you see fingers and toes?”
Letting go of Beef, with one hand on Max’s harness, she beckons Mel to follow her into the kitchen where the rest of the women are getting dinner prepared.
The fact there will be another baby boy on the compound seems a topic of awe for my brothers. Maybe because in some ways it makes up for the loss of Skull. Something of him that will still remain proving that part of him lives on. As I watch and listen while they pass that photo around, I wonder if at some point in the far future, that baby will become a man taking his seat in church. One never knows.
“Hey, where’s that picture? We haven’t seen it yet.”
Paladin takes it from Mace and passes it to Jay, who spares a quick kiss for her man, then disappears back into the kitchen.
I mingle, get a beer, but it’s with the hope Mel’s not becoming overwhelmed. I don’t want to intrude, so pause to one side of the doorway so I can hear the conversation inside, I lean in to hear better.
“Now you know it’s a boy, Mel, any thoughts about naming him?”
“Are you going to name him after Skull? What was his real name?”
“Kris,” I hear her reply. “I don’t know, I’d rather go for something more modern.”
“Archie?”
“That’s like the number one name now,” Mel laughs. “Something modern and unusual then.”
I don’t know why I should be relieved she’s not inclined to name the baby Kris. Maybe because it would be a permanent reminder that he’s not mine.
Of course Jeannie persuades her to stay and eat with us. It’s good to see her smiling and joking with the women, while my brothers are pretending not to be interested in the baby talk but are still passing that fucking photo around. I catch more than one sneaking looks from the piece of paper to her stomach as if realising there really is a tiny Devil in there.
Except for Paladin who’s not particularly interested, but then he’s from Tucson, and it’s far from the first sonogram picture he’ll have seen.
“Congratulations, Pyro.” Wills slaps my back loudly.
In a sudden lull in the conversation, his words ring out and catch everyone’s attention. Mel’s heard, and cocks her head to one side as if interested to see my response.
Embarrassed, I offer, “Ain’t nothing to do with me. I’m not the father.”
Mel’s face is unreadable, a sadness flickers over it. Does she regret that I’m not? Nah, I’ve just reminded her his real dad isn’t here, that’s all it can be.
“Hey, let me see.” Thunder takes the photo and examines it. “Ugly motherfucker isn’t he?”
The women gasp, the men all laugh, but when Thunder winks at Mel, she knows he’s joking.
“Better looking than you already, asshole,” says Demon.
“That wouldn’t be hard,” Rusty agrees.
And just like that, thank fuck, the attention is off me.
“Ro, come over here.”
Wandering back into the bar area, I go to where Pal is chatting with Judge. “Wassup?” I pull up a chair, turn it the wrong way around, and sit on it, folding my arms over the back.
“Judge, here, is thinking about getting a new exhaust. He’s looking at this type, have you fitted one like it before?”
I take the parts list he’s been examining. “Hmm, have to do a bit of a workaround, but yeah, I can make it work.”
Of course, we start getting into details and are joined by Sparky who offers some ideas. It’s quite a while later that I look around to see how Mel’s doing and notice her yawning.
Excusing myself, I walk across to her. “You look tired. Want to go home?”
She looks up gratefully. “I didn’t want to pull you away.”
“No worries, darlin’. You need me? Come and get me, okay? Don’t want you overdoing it.”
“I’m okay, but I’ve had enough excitement for one day.”
“Let’s get you home.”
We’re halfway to her house when a question out of the blue startles me. “What’s your real name?”
“Pyro,” I tell her, chuckling. “But if you’re asking about the name the government uses, I’m Brendan Evans.”
“Brendan,” she tries it out, then frowns. “Do y
ou think he looks like a Brendan?”
Fuck. She’s suggesting she might name the baby after me? I’m so shocked the car swerves. Luckily, I catch it fast and straighten it before she notices. “Looks more like a Blob to me.”
“Pyro,” she gasps, swatting at my arm.
Chapter Twenty
Melissa
Even though I’ve been showing his picture around and sharing the news with everyone in the clubhouse, it doesn’t really hit me until I get home that in just a few months’ time I’ll be holding my son in my arms. A boy.
I really didn’t mind what sex the baby was going to be, had been more worried that the sonogram would show whether he was healthy or not.
He was perfect to my eyes, and to the doctor’s. Though I do have some sympathy with Pyro’s comment that he was a blob. I giggle to myself. Sure, he had the undeniable shape of a baby, but still had a lot of growing to do before he becomes fully formed. Running my hands over my stomach, I make a silent promise. I’ll do everything I can to protect him until he’s viable and can live outside the womb. I’ll take the utmost care of myself and him for another five months.
Of course my protection won’t end then. Momentarily I’m scared that I’ll have something totally dependent on me, not just for his physical needs, but for being brought up in the right way. If he turns out like the amazing man his father is, I’ll have done okay.
I pull myself up sharply. Father? His father is dead, but when I picture a dad for my baby, it’s Pyro’s face I see, not Skull’s. Does that make me a terrible person?
Skull. I miss him every minute of every day. Don’t I? Of course I do, except, when I’m with Pyro, there’s something about him that banishes all thoughts of my lost lover.
Could I see Pyro and me playing happy family? Him moving in, living with me and being Brendan’s dad?
Brendan? Have I truly settled on the name? Well I’ve got months to decide.
Pyro would probably run a mile if I told him, instead of leaving each night, I wanted him to stay.
My phone rings, startling me out of my reverie. It’s my mom. Feeling guilty my first thought had been to share my news with my biker family instead of my blood one, I answer.
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