But she’s not here to discuss the spread she helped put on. “Saw you talking to Ink.” Her brows rise. “You getting along with him?”
I shrug. I had been ready to jump into his bed if that means anything, but that I keep to myself. “We were having a decent enough conversation before he was called out.”
“Hmm.” Her sharp eyes flick to me, then move to the doorway which the bikers had so recently disappeared out of. “No idea what that’s all about. But they could return soon. You going to hang around and wait to see if he comes back? To continue your conversation?” She puts the final word in air quotes as if she’s not at all fooled and had known exactly where our talk would have been leading.
Am I that transparent? Or, is Mel just used to living around bikers who are used to easy women. Is that what I am? Suddenly him going out on a job seems a welcome intervention to stop me from making a mistake. Sure, the night with him was worth repeating, but was it worth risking me getting more involved with him? Would it make it harder to walk away at the end of the evening? I purse my lips, thinking how different it is for men, how sex is so much simpler for them, reduced to a bodily function. Today, I’ve seen another side of Ink which has made me like him more.
“He’s not going to want to get involved with me, is he, Mel? I think it's best if I go.”
Her eyes fill with sympathy, and her lips thin. “I wish I could, but I can’t tell you you’re wrong, Beth. These men, honey, they live this life because of the freedom. Some, like Pyro, come to realise in time it’s not everything. But Ink? Whether he will or not in the future, I’m not sure he’s there now.”
I nod. She’s right. Maybe in time a good woman will sweep Ink off his feet, but whether or not I’m that woman, the timing is wrong. I won’t be able to change him. Best not to try.
There’s a scraping of chairs as Steph and Jay join us. Once released from his harness, Max, Steph’s adorable guide dog comes over to me, sniffing at my hands. I let him, realising he’s reacquainting himself with the scent of the woman he met briefly last week. When he’s satisfied, I pat his head, give him a quick scratch behind his ear, then he lies down resting his muzzle on my feet.
“How have you been, Beth? Recovered from last weekend? That was a blast, wasn’t it?”
I shrug, then realise Steph can’t see me. “The wedding was fun,” I tell her, honestly. “I don’t think I stopped laughing all day. My face hurt from smiling.”
“Fun?” Jay lets off a peel of laughter. “I’d say you had fun, girl.” She accompanies her words with an exaggerated wink.
My eyes narrow fast as I glare at her. “What has Ink said?” I ask tightly.
“Uh uh,” Mel gets in quickly. “These men don’t gossip, well, maybe amongst themselves, but definitely not to us. It was kinda hard to miss when Ink dragged you off.” She waves around the table. “We all saw you.”
“I heard.” Steph laughs. “I think Vi’s exclamation and laugh drew everyone’s attention to the two of you.”
“Well?” Vi looks unrepentant. “Beth had scored.”
Well hell, looks like I can’t keep anything private. No point in denying it, though anything other than Ink and I getting it on together is just conjecture. I’m not going to share what a revelation it was. I turn the tables on Mel.
“And what about you?” I add an exaggerated wink. “Pyro taking good care of you?”
She reddens, leading me to believe Pyro’s been very attentive to her needs over the past week, but she like me, she doesn’t elaborate. “Much like it was before we got hitched. I definitely haven’t got any complaints.”
“How’s the pregnancy going?” Jay asks. “Any sickness?”
“Fine at the moment and no, but it’s early days.” Her mouth twists. “We probably shouldn’t have said anything yet, but Ro thought we needed support should things go south.”
“They won’t.” I reach over the table and take her hand. “This time you’ve got a good man beside you, not that bastard.”
“We’ve all got good men,” Steph observes, and Jay nods.
“Stop,” I tell them, my smile hiding the truth of what I’m saying. “You’re making me jealous.”
“Beth might have Ink from what I just saw,” says Vi. “You and he seemed to be getting on well. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen him actually talking to a woman.”
But Jay’s shaking her head. I tilt my head toward her, seeing she’s looking at me sadly. Then she warns, “Don’t pin your hopes on him, Beth.”
I raise an eyebrow.
She shifts, seeming uncomfortable. “Look, I’ve been around bikers for the past five years. Sure, I saw lots of the men hook up with girls in the Tucson club, take them as their old ladies. I saw brothers you thought would be single for life find their one and end up loyal. But,” she pauses, “I’ve also seen men who you knew would never make a commitment or weren’t ready to do so now.”
She’s the youngest old lady, but she’s the one who’s giving it to me straight. It’s no different from what Mel was just telling me, but blunter. “You’re saying Ink’s one of the latter?”
“If this week is anything to go by, yes.” She tosses me a look of compassion. “I’d want to know, if I were you, so I’m going to tell you. Since the wedding, Ink’s been with every whore that’s here, and has even gone back for seconds.”
“Pal!” a deep and very pissed off voice barks. “Get the fuck over here, now.”
We all jump, swinging around to see a furious Ink standing behind us. His face is bright red.
“What?” Pal’s there in an instant, his eyes widening in concern as he examines Jay closely to see if there’s anything wrong.
“Teach your woman a fuckin’ lesson about keeping her mouth shut about brothers’ business.”
Pal studies Ink for a second, registering his set expression, then glares at Jay. Jay flushes as she looks between her man and Ink who I swear is shaking with rage. “I’d want to know,” she says angrily, standing and pointing a finger at Ink. “It’s not fair to lead someone on…”
“Come on, Jay.” Pal’s expression threatens Ink and he puts himself between Jay and the man she’s told tales on.
“Leave us, Mel, Vi,” Ink instructs.
“I’m going,” says Steph, tapping her thigh to get Max to her side.
“We gotta problem?” Beef’s stepped up and is already helping his wife out of her seat.
“Only as far as these bitches can’t keep their mouths shut,” Ink spits out.
Beef growls and reaches forward, grabbing Ink by the neck and pushing him back. “Never call my woman a bitch again. You got it?”
Chapter Eight
Beth
Ink’s glaring at Beef, both men look ready to throw down.
I stand, grab my purse, and start to head for the exit. Until Jay’s revelation I’d been enjoying myself. Now a fight’s going to break out, and it’s partially my fault. I should never have come. Jay hadn’t told me anything other than what I’d already suspected. Of course, Ink hadn’t spent the week pining for me, he’d been fucking everything in sight.
I’m almost at the door when suddenly I’m lifted in the air, thrown over a shoulder, and while I struggle and beat my fists on Ink’s back, he’s got a tight hold of me and is heading toward a stairway.
“Put me down!” I shout at him, then, from my upside-down view, catch sight of Pyro. Mel’s frantically pushing at his arm, but he wraps it tighter around her, holding her back.
Then the fucker gives Ink a thumbs-up. Well he’s no freaking help.
“Mace!” I scream as I see the enforcer, but my plea gets Ink’s hand slapping me on my ass.
“We’re going to fuckin’ talk,” Ink snarls at last.
“I’ve got nothing to say to you,” I cry out. “Put me down. I want to go home.”
We’re at the top of the stairs and starting off down a hallway with doors to the right and the left. Ink stops at one and opens it.
He
doesn’t let me down when we’re inside, instead, he twists so I fall on my back on the bed, then immediately his body comes down over mine pinning me to the mattress.
He’s got the muscles I don’t, so has no problem overpowering me. He yanks on one of my hands, raising it over my head, then there’s a snick. Then he does the same to the other and a second similar noise sounds. I pull on my arms, but they’ve been secured. I’m enraged.
I buck, he moves off. Yes! But it’s only to fasten my left ankle to the foot of the bed before I realise what he’s doing. Now knowing, I kick out my last free limb, uncaring whether I catch him in the balls. But he jumps out of reach, then comes back in, easily catching it and seconds later, that leg’s captive as well.
“Handcuffs and leg restraints? Really?” I rattle the chains securing my wrists and feet. Yanking on them so hard they hurt, but they don’t budge an inch. I try again, I’m going nowhere. So, I open my mouth and scream, “Help!” as loud as I can.
“Fuck it, woman.” Ink opens a drawer by the side of the bed and takes something out. He waves it threateningly in front of me. My eyes widen as I recognise from books I’ve read, a ball gag. “I want to talk to you, want you to listen. You gonna shut up and let me? Or do I use this?”
“Let me go, Ink. Damn you to hell and back.” I feel sparks fly from my eyes. “Untie me now. You can’t keep me prisoner on the bed where you had God knows how many women over this past week.” Then I increase the volume. “Help! Help me someone!”
He leans in menacingly close, that implement he’s holding approaching my face.
“You can’t gag me—”
He proves that can’t doesn’t appear to be in his vocabulary.
“Mmm humph.” I try to speak but can’t form words, or scream for help. Unease goes through me; my rage subsides to be replaced by fear.
“Oh, fuck, Beth.” His eyes soften, picking up my anger has turned to something else. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just need you to listen for a moment, okay?” He brushes his hands back through his hair and interlocks them behind his head. “Yeah, you heard right. I fucked the whores. Bella, I fucked over the pool table. Titsy in the kitchen but that stays between us, Jeannie would have my hide if she knew. Breezy and Sheila with Mace in his room. Perhaps I did Tulia in here, but it’s not what you think.”
With each name he mentions, my eyes open wider. With every admission, tears start to leak. I knew I could easily give this man the power to hurt me, what I hadn’t realised is that I already had. I’d told myself over and over that there was no point daring to hope that Ink hadn’t really meant the words he’d said to me, but deep down I’d held on to the foolish dream. I thought I came here with little expectation, but I admit now that I had, deep down, hoped I hadn’t been the only one to remember how special the night of Mel’s wedding had been.
Our interaction last weekend which had been such a revelation to me had meant nothing to him.
Perhaps it’s lucky I can’t talk. I’m torn between spitting fire at him and accusing him of being a manwhore, but they would be wasted words. I knew what he was, it’s not his fault I’m upset. It's no one's fault but my own, thinking he was different.
But it’s hard to keep quiet. “Mmm mumph.” Though my indignance is muffled by the gag.
He shakes his head. “I know, I’ve upset you. Beth, I don’t know, fuck. This is new to me.” His eyes settle on mine. “Seems I care. I fuckin’ care that I’ve hurt you. Why?” He barks a laugh. “I don’t have fuck all idea why. I told you exactly what I wanted last week. I told you what I do and who I am. I hit it and beat it. And I don’t fuckin’ lie or hide shit.” Now he sits on the bed and puts his head in his hands, his palms rubbing against his cheeks. “I had no expectations of seeing you again, but you had to walk into my fuckin’ club, didn’t you? Had to taunt me with your delectable fuckin’ curves, legs which go on for weeks. Had to get my cock as hard as steel with just one look at you.”
I try and make another sound.
He’s not finished. “When I saw you, saw my brothers sniffing around, I knew I wanted another chance. I swear, I wouldn’t have lied to you. I would have told you myself what I’d been doing. Would have tried to explain, but Jay took that chance out of my hands. I knew you wouldn’t listen, so that’s why…” He waves his hands to where I’m lying trussed like a Thanksgiving turkey.
I shake my head vigorously trying to dislodge the gag. I can’t.
“Fuck, how can I explain if I don’t understand it myself.” His head moves slowly side to side. “I’ve been here four years, babe. For three of them I’ve been fucking the whores. Even before then when I fucked civilians, it was only ever once then I moved on. A fuck was a fuck, nothing more nothing less, I didn’t get attached to them, and didn’t want anyone to latch onto me. But when I fucked you?” A look of disbelief covers his face. “Fuckin’ amazing. Never came like that before, not so many times nor so hard. Fluke? The wedding? I didn’t know what it was. So yeah, I fucked the whores. Trying to get back the satisfaction I’d always felt before. But it’s gone. Seems there’s only one woman my cock wants.” He touches his length in case I hadn’t understood. “Hell, woman, you’re angry and rightfully so. But seeing you like this? Tied up on my bed? Fuckin’ incredible. I’ve dreamed about this all week and thinking of you was the only way I was able to get off. I’m going to take the gag out now. You gonna scream?”
Scream for help? No. Rant and rage? Yes. He tried to fuck me out of his head? I suppose the only comfort I can take is that that strategy seems to have been a failure. Maybe in his twisted biker way his rationalisation makes sense.
He’s explained. Now it really is over. I’ll find my purse—where the hell did I leave it?—gather my dignity and go. I’m not staying in someone’s bed which should rightly have a turnstile on it.
Resignation must show on my face, as he reaches for the ball gag and unbuckles the strap. I have to swallow back the saliva that’s pooled around it. Gently, Ink takes a tissue and wipes off some that’s trickled out.
I wait for him to undo the restraints, but he makes no move to do so.
“Untie me, Ink.”
“Babe.”
“Ink, don’t babe me,” I try to snap, but there’s a catch in my voice.
Abruptly he stands, giving me his back. “I hurt you, Beth. That’s the last fuckin’ thing I wanted to do. That’s why I don’t do this.” Going to the door, he leans his head against it, knocking his forehead gently against the wood. “I have no fuckin’ idea what I’m doing. Censure me all you like, but this past week, I was doing what I always do. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, so I fucked hoping it would help. Didn’t know any better.”
I wouldn’t have known if Jay hadn’t opened her mouth, unless he’s being truthful when he says he would have told me. I close my eyes and think. He’d made me no promises; how can I criticise how he spent his time? Why should I worry about what coping mechanism he used? Though maybe it’s important he had to employ one.
“If I hadn’t come here today, would you have sought me out?”
He tenses at my question. After a moment, he shakes his head. “I can’t answer that, babe.” Then he spins and comes back over to me. “I can’t fuckin’ answer as I don’t know what the fuck I’d have done. All I know is you’re in here,” he taps his head, “and try as I might, I can’t get you out. So yeah, I might have come to find you.”
“Or your strategy might eventually have worked.”
He barks a loud laugh. “Well, it hasn’t as yet.”
I hate the thought of him going with the whores and doubt he’d ever be able to give up the free sex. I certainly wouldn’t want to share. “Untie me, Ink. I’d like to leave now.”
“What if I don’t want to?” His eyes darken. “Oh, hell, Beth. You ask me again, and I’ll free you faster than you can blink. Know this though, I don’t want you to go.”
“Why not?” I should give him the words, get up and leave. Go home and fo
rget him. But there’s a part of me, a big part, that wants to grab any chance with both hands.
“I don’t fuckin’ know,” he complains, seeming frustrated. “All I know is I want you to stay. I’ll tell you this, you, cuffed to my bed? Best fuckin’ thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Let me fuck you, little girl. Let’s see whether last week can be repeated. Let’s see if there is something special between us.”
Little girl. His voice, deepening on the words, sets parts of me alight. The traitorous bits.
“What happens if there is something?” My voice sounds weak, almost a whisper. “What if it is special?”
His lips press together, then he replies probably as honestly as he can, “Fuck knows, babe. Uncharted territory for me. But if you’re up for it, and we want to fuck again, then we will. We’ll see where this leads us.”
He’s been honest with me, I have to be truthful back. “I thought I could do this. I thought I could accept your terms. One night and walk away. I tried Ink, I tried so hard to forget you. I tried to chalk it up to one of the best nights I’ve ever had and be content with that. If I stay now, I can’t promise I’ll walk away tomorrow and not look back. That’s not who I am.”
His lips press together. Then a fleeting grin crosses his face. “Knew I was right to avoid civilians.” When I start to bristle, his hand lightly covers my mouth. “What I didn’t know was the reason. Turns out I was protecting myself as well as them. I’ve spent a week holding back, not making contact, not coming after what I wanted. All I can suggest is we take this one step at a time, Beth. I can’t make you any promises, except to tell you the truth. I’ve never felt this way before.”
“I can’t fuck you, not when you’re fucking the whores.” I’m not certain I trust him.
“Don’t want the whores, babe. Not when it’s you that I’m fantasising about. I’ll make you that promise, and once my word’s given, I keep it.” He breaks off and chuckles. “And if I didn’t? Seems like your friends would tell on me.”
Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6 Page 44
