Glancing to my side, I see Vanna with a pinched look on her face. Her eyes are directed forward, but I suspect she’s not taking much notice of what she’s seeing. Not surprising, she’s got much to contemplate. For a start, spending a weekend on a biker compound where something is always going on is probably very different to how she normally spends her free days. The noise level for a start, music, talking, laughter and there were even a couple of brothers getting rowdy and pushing each other about. All good-natured, of course, but to an outsider, it could be disturbing.
She’d handled it in her stride as I suspect she does most everything else, her reaction fuelling my growing admiration for her, together with a better understanding of how well she’s coped bringing up Cas alone.
Apart from the general atmosphere, she’d stayed for two days in a place where her husband lives, the man who doesn’t recognise her, or acknowledges their relationship.
It had been last night when Lizard had led a giggling and expectant Breezy up the staircase, clearly heading to his room, that I’d caught her staring, her hands clenched at her sides. Mixed emotions crossed her face—anger, betrayal, longing, desire, disgust, and finally defeat. Immediately, I’d crossed to her side and spoken quietly to her.
“You use a vibrator, Vanna?” The shock on her face had me swallowing back laughter.
“None of your business, Mace.”
She tries to turn away, but I don’t let her escape. “I bet you do.” I nudged her with my elbow. “Got a fancy rabbit one, or a G-spot stimulator?”
“None of your business,” she spitted out again, her eyes widened in horror. “This conversation is over.”
“Hear me out,” I snapped. My commanding tone got her eyes on my face.
I nodded toward the staircase where Liz had just disappeared. “Men and women have needs. You’ve probably got a BOB that you’re friendly with. Me and my brothers? Well, we’ve got the whores. Means no more to us than a session with your vibrator.”
Her eyes narrowed and moistened. “How the hell can you say that, Mace? Lizard’s gone off with a flesh and blood woman, not one who’s battery operated.”
I tapped my forehead. “It’s in here that matters. Breezy, Tulia, hell, any of the girls could leave any time, and we’d miss them about as much as if one of your toys broke. New girl comes along? Well, she’ll do instead. What I’m saying, Vanna, is that there’s no emotional commitment. None at fuckin’ all. Lizard’s not stepping out on you, he’s just using her for a sexual release. You feel guilty using your vibrator?”
“Of course I don’t. But—”
“Lizard doesn’t either. Add to that, darlin’, he thinks he’s a free man.”
She was quiet for a moment. I watched as she considered my words. I know it’s hard for someone who doesn’t live in our world to understand our relationship with the club girls.
“Don’t judge Lizard for what he can’t remember,” I pushed once again. “If he knew he was married and still stepped out on you, your anger would be justified. Lizard’s got no reason to think he’s being unfaithful. Again, I tell you, it’s just sex. No emotion, no loving. No attachment. A mutual itch scratched, nothing else.”
Finally, I seemed to get through to her, the tension in her body receded slightly. “It still hurts, Mace. Knowing that doesn’t make me feel much better.”
Putting my arm around her, I gave her a much-needed hug. “I know, Vanna. I know.”
“I hate that Cas has seen too. He’ll never understand.”
My cheeks actually started to burn. “I, er, may have had a similar conversation with the kid.”
Again, her eyes widened, her brows rose to meet her hairline. “You what? Mace!”
“Hell, darlin’. You wanted him to have a male influence, well, I spoke to him, man-to-man.”
Her head was shaking, turning one way then the other. Her movement continued for a few seconds. “He was okay with it?”
“He’d rather his dad was fuckin’ his mother, but yeah, he’s okay with it.”
“Please tell me you didn’t use those exact words, Mace?”
I think she was worried I had traumatised her son forever. “Not precisely.” I didn’t admit I’d come damn close to it.
But fuck me, Vanna having Liz’s infidelity right up in her face must be fucking hard. I wonder whether she’d ever be able to forgive him, even if Lizard woke up one day and remembered her. Or whether Liz would ever be able to forgive himself. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, I remember.
I check in the rearview mirror. Cas’s brows are drawn down, and his hands are clenched in fists.
“How did you think it went?” I ask, in general. My question directed at whoever wants to answer.
“You were right, Mace,” comes a voice from the back seat. “I didn’t understand until I saw my father.” He pauses for a moment. “He didn’t leave because he wanted to, it wasn’t Dad who abandoned us. It wasn’t his fault. I was holding onto my anger as I didn’t have anything else. So I’m not the only kid at school being raised without a father, but it hurt, Mace. I wanted him to be there and cheer me on when I got a home run or a good grade.”
“Cas,” Vanna starts.
“Mom, I blamed him for not being there. Now I’ve seen him… I don’t know. It made sense. I don’t like it. I’m frustrated as hell I can’t get through to him, but, yeah, it’s all making sense.”
“How about you, Vanna?”
She’s quiet before she speaks. “I’m glad Cas saw his dad. I’m glad he’s getting a chance to know his father, even if it’s the man now and not who he was. But for me? It hurt, Mace. It hurt.”
“You want him back.” It’s a statement, not a question. Anyone watching her can see she still loves him. Despite all his faults and the substitutes he uses for a vibrator.
“He’s not right, is he, Mace?” Cas speaks again. “Those headaches…”
I don’t know how to respond. Lizard is convinced he just needs glasses to sort himself out, and last week I would have thought that was the answer. Knowing now how serious his brain injury was, that it had almost killed him, the headaches which seem to be increasing both in intensity and occurrence are beginning to worry me too, making me think there might be something very wrong with my brother.
“He’s got an appointment with the VA doctor soon. I’ll make sure he goes, Cas.”
“He’s been staying away?”
“Yeah, Vanna, he has. He thinks he’s fine and doesn’t need to see anyone.”
“Do you think he knows that he can’t remember? That there’s a huge hole in his life?”
I give her question the weight it deserves. It’s something I’d never have thought to ask myself until I knew Lizard’s background. Little things I missed now begin to add together, forming a picture of my friend which I’d never previously considered.
I flick the turn signal, swing past a slow-moving truck and trailer, and then when I’m back in the lane, answer, “I’m pretty sure he does, Vanna. But as the things he needs to know are the things he remembers, he’s living with it and coping.” I’d actually been talking about this with Demon and Beef. The gaps Lizard has, hurt her and his son, but not the man himself. Or not on the surface. It had made us more determined to help her and give Cas that male influence that was missing from his life. I issue the invite Demon had extended. “You’re welcome to come back next weekend, if you want to.”
I hear Vanna’s indrawn breath but can’t predict her answer. Cas though, he needs no time to think.
“I had a great time. Mace, I loved being on your bike. Seeing the shop. Playing pool with the brothers. Mom, can we come back?”
I try to persuade her. “Think we did the boy some good, Vanna.”
She’s quiet for so long, I’m not even sure she’s going to respond, then I hear a quietly spoken, “I think so, yes. Cas and I need to talk, and I need to think. I don’t want to do anything to hurt Lizard, but is being in his face or staying away the answer?” S
he shakes her head. “I wish I could talk to his therapist.”
The last one had told her to keep her distance, and I’m not convinced that had been the right solution. But hell, I’m no expert.
To be honest, I don’t know what the correct course of action is. Lizard, for all intents and purposes, is a confirmed bachelor who doesn’t want kids. He’s settled and happy in his life. Knowing the truth and believing it and still feeling the way he does? It would fuck with his head. He’d have to deal with being presented with something he’s certain he doesn’t want. On the other hand, if I could pick a woman for my brother, it would definitely be someone like Vanna. And Cas as a kid? He’s a handful for certain, but also an intelligent boy who, if pointed in the right direction, could have a bright future.
I settle for telling them, “Let me know what you decide. I can come pick you up…”
“I’m perfectly capable of driving us to Pueblo, Mace.”
I hide my grin at her declaration of independence and suppress my dismay that Lizard has no idea what a good woman he has. “Well, just let me know. I’m happy to make the trip or not. Whatever you decide.”
By the time we finish our conversation, we’re approaching Denver. Vanna tells me a shortcut which doesn’t show up on the GPS. In a few minutes sooner than the device originally predicted—and who doesn’t take satisfaction from that?—we’re pulling up outside her house.
I get the bags and carry them to the step. She invites me in, but I cringe at the thought of that cheap coffee, and decide I’ll pick something up when I top off with gas on the way back. I wait until they’re safely inside, then return to my truck and start it.
My lips curve as I drive away. I’m the fuckin’ enforcer. Never in a million years did I think I’d get involved with a woman and her kid, even if I’m standing in as proxy for my brother. Truth be told, if Lizard hadn’t a prior claim on her, I might have been interested in her myself. Though to be honest, it doesn’t take much to excite my dick.
Two hours later I socialise, drink, fuck, then when I’ve tired myself out, go to bed. Just a normal Sunday night on the compound. I switch off completely. With no thoughts lingering to disturb my rest, I sleep soundly until morning. Then I rise and get ready to start my week.
“Mace. That bitch is coming in again today. Vi’s going to start working on that property tat.”
Lizard’s talking about Shayla. With Vanna here, she’d been put right out of my head. Now I remember the good-looking woman who’d interested me last week. I raise my cup of coffee toward Lizard. “Cad find anything more out?”
“Nah. No one’s heard of any other Majors, not in an MC anyway. He’s asked our other chapters and the Wretched Soulz. He’s widening his search, got his contacts on the dark web looking.”
Of course, he has. The way Cad gets his info is a mystery to me. “You going to try to speak to her?”
“Vi is. She’s going to probe who this Major fucker is. Demon’s happy we cover the tat, but if there’s anything she can tell us, he wants to know. Just in case.”
I smirk. “Want me to have a word?”
Lizard chuckles. “Not sure we need your enforcer skills just yet. But you’re welcome to hang around if you want to try out your charm on her.”
“What fuckin’ charm?” I bark a laugh.
“The charm you were using on that bitch this weekend.” His eyes narrow. “What’s she to you, Mace?”
“She’s the wife of an old friend.” I don’t even have to think about my explanation. Little does he know it, but it was the truth that came from my lips. “That’s all, Liz. She’s not for me.”
“Yeah.” He stares off into the distance for a moment. “Noticed she still wears her ring. Faithful to a man who’s gone.”
“She is,” I confirm.
“He die in service?”
I might be happy stretching the truth, but I can’t outright lie to my brother. Seeing Pyro, I avoid answering, calling out instead, “Wait up a minute, Ro!”
The man I’ve called, turns. I pat Liz’s shoulder then leave him and join the man who, today, is not only my MC brother but my boss, the auto-shop manager.
“What’s up, Brother?”
“That girl we spoke about in church. The bitch with the property tat. Vi’s starting work on her today.”
“You need to be there?”
Again, I can’t tell an untruth. “Not really, but if you can spare me…”
Pyro taps his fingers together, his brow creasing. “Ink and the others will probably be enough for today. And put it this way, Mace, if this is going to cause trouble for us, Demon would have my hide if I could have done anything to prevent it. Yeah, you go talk to the bitch. You never know, your newly discovered charm might get more out of her than even Vi.”
He laughs at the scowl on my face. Second person today to mention the word charm in connection with me. Not a good rep for an enforcer.
“Hey, Ro?” I shout to his back. When he pauses his pace, I make an exaggerated pout and follow it up with, “I’ll show you my fuckin’ charms later.” When he laughs loudly and resumes walking to the door, I show my middle finger even though he can’t see it. Shame that fuckin’ gym’s not up and running yet. I could demonstrate my charisma in the ring, starting with rearranging the face of any fucker who thinks I’ve become charming.
I stomp off toward the kitchen, my annoyance fading when I see Mel unpacking tubs of what I know will be confectionary perfection, she’s clearly just brought in. First, I turn and look behind me.
“What’s up?”
“Just saw Pyro walking off in the other direction.”
Mel laughs. “He ate so much at home, I’ve sent him away. I threatened to make him get on the scales.”
I love Mel for my brother. He’s been so much happier and more settled since she’s been in his life, as though he’d found a part of him that had been missing. Mind you, anyone would be lucky to have Mel for a wife. If I had someone who’d cook such delicacies for me, I’d never want to leave home. Just sit, eat, get fatter and fatter, until my time came, and they’d have to take apart the door to get me out of the house.
“Mace?” Mel’s standing with her head to one side. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, darlin’. Just thinking about women who can cook, and where I might find one.”
“Thought you weren’t a one-woman man,” she chides, opening a tub of cinnamon buns and waving them in front of my nose.
Taking one, I agree. “Perhaps one who can cook, one who can clean, one who can f—”
She places her fingers over my mouth. “Keep that thought to yourself, please.” She rolls her eyes. “Hey, what’s with your friend, Vanna? You really just ‘friends’?” She puts the word in air quotes.
“Sure are,” I confirm, the words slightly muffled, spoken as they are around crumbs.
“I noticed something odd about that son of hers.”
“Yeah?” I take another bite.
“Is he related to Lizard by any chance? He looks like him.”
Crumbs fly out of my mouth as I choke. Fuck. Fuckity fuck. When Mel finishes slapping my back, admonishing me for stuffing too much in my mouth, I respond as nonchalantly as I can, “Nah, must be coincidence,” adding, “Poor fucker.”
“Poor, why?”
I wink. “Well, if you think he looks anything like Liz’s ugly mug.”
She bats my arm.
“How’s the pregnancy going?” I distract her with her favourite topic.
Like expectant moms do, my words cause her to hold her hands to her stomach, pulling her top tight over it to emphasise the still small, yet obvious, baby bump she has going on. “I felt her move last night.”
“Really? You know it’s a girl?”
“No. We decided we don’t want to know. But this is so different to last time, I think it will be.”
I think of starting a book, especially as it appears, I have inside knowledge. Out loud I reassure her, “Everything’s d
ifferent this time, Mel.” I catch her eyes and hold them. “You’ve got a good fuckin’ man by your side.”
She doesn’t have to say a word to let me know she’s in total agreement.
In the end, I consume three cinnamon rolls and two muffins before getting on my bike. While the sugary taste has lifted my mood, Mel’s words about Cas cause me to worry. Yeah, he very much resembles his dad. I wonder whether anyone else has noticed? Lizard hasn’t, or, at least, he hasn’t remarked on it.
Chapter Ten
Mace
When I arrive at the tattoo parlour, it’s just before eleven. Vi and Liz are out of sight, presumably working with clients, and Jonah’s manning the reception desk. He looks up and raises his chin as I enter, then addresses the woman who’s sitting stiffly waiting on a chair.
“Violet will be with you soon. She’s just running a couple of minutes late.”
The woman is Shayla. I notice again what a pretty face she’s got, won’t be any hardship to keep her company for a few. I take a seat opposite, avoiding sitting next to her as I don’t want to spook her. Sitting back though, when I stretch out my long legs, there’s not much space and my feet touch hers. She jumps and quickly pulls back feet, which look half the size of mine, tucking them under her chair.
“Sorry.” I resituate myself, bending one leg, and resting my other ankle on that knee.
“You’re fine.” Her voice is sweet, quiet and soft.
“Here for a tattoo?”
She seems surprised I’ve spoken again. She looks around, her gaze pointedly landing on the examples of tattoos done by the artists here, then a quick smile comes over her face. “Er, duh?”
I nod at a poster advertising piercings. “You could be here for that.”
She shudders. “No way.”
“Not even ears?” I turn my comment which could have been interpreted as lewd into something more innocent.
“Oh, I had those done years ago.” She relaxes a little, as if she had indeed thought I was being suggestive.
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