“Isn’t it?”
Oh, fuck me. She’s got tears in her eyes.
“Babe,” I start, but again she stops me.
“You brought me to the compound. Made me see there was a different life. Sure, there are the club girls, but even I can see they’re here because they want to be, and the men are never cruel or hurt them.”
I may get a twinge of guilt as the thought of ginger enters my mind. But even then, we made sure the girls enjoyed it.
“Then there are the old ladies. They wear property patches, but they’re not owned. They’re happy, loved and seem to have the kind of relationship I dreamed of growing up.”
I’m glad we’ve made a good impression on her. But I’ve got to come clean. “I’m not in the market for an old lady, Shay. Got to be upfront about that. But I’m prepared to work hard to help you learn to trust again. No idea where this will take us. If we ever get to that point, we might be together one night and hate each other. It might last a week, a month, hell, even a year. I can’t promise more, I don’t see myself as a forever man.” Neither did Ink, I remember quickly, and look at him now. No one could doubt his commitment to Beth. Lizard though, Liz had always vowed he’d be happy living out his days as a single man, but now he seems over the moon he’s got a family. I consider myself lucky I don’t have a wife and kid waiting in the wings.
“You’re honest,” she tells me.
“Could you say anything different, Shay? Do you really think you could look at a man and want him to be yours forever? Hell, I suppose I should ask whether you could ever consider having a man like me in your bed with what you’ve been through.”
She huffs a laugh. “I doubt you need me or anyone to tell you what a handsome man you are. Add on that bad boy image,” she winks, “and I’d be crazy not to want to jump your bones.”
“Do you?” I ask, optimistically.
Her head tilts to one side as she stares at me. “Right now? No.” Her voice drops and becomes husky. “I never thought I’d be saying this, but out of anyone I could meet, in time, I think maybe you’d be the one who’d have a chance to persuade me.”
I know the gift she’s giving me with those words. She’s giving me hope. Shayla in my bed? It would be a fucking dream come true.
It’s more than her glorious ass and tits. There’s just something about this woman. Her inner strength which I doubt she recognises, the way she put the needs of a child who wasn’t hers in front of her own, the job she does so competently in a masculine world, and the way she’s come through what she has, suggests I don’t fucking deserve her. But if I get my chance, I’ll keep her for myself until whatever I’m feeling burns out.
“So, that ride out? Lunch?” I prompt her.
She grins. “I could eat.”
So could I. But I doubt we’re discussing the same items I’d like to see on a menu.
The only person I’ve taken on the back of my bike has been Cas. Seems I’m about to start making a habit of it now. I find the spare helmet he’d used, make sure it’s a comfortable fit, then lead her to where I’d parked my bike. Most of the paintwork is done now, and that stallion rearing is an incredible sight. Ink’s just got some final touching up to do.
“Esme’s going to love that.” Shayla’s eyes open wide. I hope the kid does. Ink has done amazing work, and I’m fucking pleased with it.
“She going to remember drawing it?” I frown, wondering if Esme will realise the significance.
After thinking for a bit, Shayla’s head dips up and down. “I think so. But if you’ve still got her sketch, take it along, it could jog her memory if she’s forgotten.”
After pressing the button that makes the door rise, I wheel the bike out into the sunshine. Behind me I hear shuffling and know Shayla’s slipping out of her overalls. Dragging up the gentleman from deep down inside me, I don’t turn around to watch.
When she comes alongside, my lips curve up rather than down. She’s wearing jeans, and heavy-duty boots. What’s suitable for working on autos will certainly do for a bike. Her denim jacket will work as well.
She sets the alarm without me reminding her, closes the door and locks it, then looks at me dubiously after I throw my leg over the bike.
“Get on behind me, babe. Put your hand on my shoulder if you like.”
A moment of indecision before she finally takes the plunge. The bike’s suspension dips with her weight behind me. It’s not that she’s heavier than Cas, in fact she’s lighter, but she feels different.
“What do I do?” she asks, her tone full of concern. “Apart from trying not to fall off?”
“You won’t fall off,” I chuckle. “Babe, just put your arms around my waist and hold tight. Then do what I do, lean with me and the bike. Oh, and mind the pipes, they’ll get hot.”
I can feel her trembling. Whether it’s fear of the bike ride ahead or of being so close to me, I’m not certain. Hopefully she’ll become comfortable with both in a short while. I’ve got a small mom and pop place in mind as our destination. It’s far enough for her to have a good riding experience, but if she’s not enjoying it, we won’t have too long a ride back. If she really hates it, I can summon a prospect with a cage.
Kicking down into first gear, I gently ease off the clutch, starting off gradually. My foot returns to neutral then kicks up through the gears as I pick up speed. Her hands feel like they’ve got a death grip on my waste.
It’s still a novelty having a passenger behind me, and I have to get used to the different handling of the bike. I take it easy, cornering slightly slower than normal, and only speeding up on the straights. Without any form of communication, I haven’t a clue how she’s taking to this, but I’m hoping she’s enjoying it as much as I am.
Riding a bike can be lonely unless you’re with a pack. With her warmth behind me, I don’t feel alone. While there’s no way we can discuss it, she’s seeing and experiencing everything as I am. The exhilarating curves, the bumps in the slightly uneven parts of the road, and the straights where I twist the throttle and the breeze in our faces picks up.
The wind therapy, as always, seems to heal my soul. By the time I arrive at our destination, I feel fully relaxed. I cut the engine and pat her leg, instructing her to get off, then back the bike into a parking spot. When I look forward again, I get a look at her face and frown.
Is she traumatised?
“Shayla?” I start, cautiously, hoping to fuck I haven’t put her off bikes for life. I rode carefully. In my head, I go back over the short journey, I couldn’t remember anything that might have scared her, but then, some people are simply worried about the vulnerability of being on a bike.
Her mouth looks tight, her eyes are wide open. Her breath is coming a little too fast. There’s a flush to her cheeks which wasn’t there earlier.
“Shayla?” I repeat, this time more concerned. Thinking I will have to summon that prospect with a truck to take her back, I reach for her hand, it’s trembling.
She stares down at our joined fingers and then through long eyelashes up at my face. “Mace,” she begins, then stops, licks her lips and tries again. “Mace, do you think we could try first base before we go in and eat?”
Well I’ll be fucked. The muscles in my cheeks begin to tighten as my mouth forms a crescent. Seems either the vibration of the bike or being so close to me has had an effect. One that I very much like.
“I think,” I bend my head so we’re less than a few inches apart, “that’s a fuckin’ excellent idea.” Slowly, so fucking slowly, I close the distance.
One of my hands still holds hers. Using only that to anchor her to me, I gently brush my lips over her soft ones, a sweet innocent kiss I haven’t deployed since I was younger than Cas.
It’s her who wants more. She curls her free hand around my neck, trying to prevent my escape and increasing the pressure where our lips meet. I let her lead as her tongue demands entry into my mouth, then imitate her actions.
Even though it’s become m
ore sensual, it’s still an innocent kiss. Perfectly acceptable in a place where there are families and children close by. Nevertheless, it’s sexually charged and full of promise. I can’t get enough of her taste, my appetite for food has fled, it’s her I want instead. I get a waft of the shampoo she uses, and my free hand brushes against the soft smooth skin of her face, brushing aside the silky strands of her hair. While from the restaurant behind us there’s a clattering of plates, the sound is drowned out by the little moan that escapes from her.
My cock thickens and I know it’s time to pull back, before my wrong head takes over and demands I take her to a more discreet place, and fuck this second and third base lark, take her straight to fourth.
“Mace…?” Her eyes are wide, and her fingers touch her lips.
“Perfect, babe.” And it was. I can’t find other words to describe it. Simply kissing a girl is not who I am. Club whores don’t need such foreplay, and would far rather have my mouth somewhere else. If a citizen girl demands it, I’ll oblige, but only to get her into the mood. With Shayla? The kiss was an end in itself. Of course it left me wanting more, but also with a feeling of satisfaction. I know I’ll want to do that again. Heck, I can barely stop myself reaching for her now.
I jerk my chin toward the restaurant, and no words need to be said. Still holding her hand tightly, I lead her inside.
As we eat, I listen to her glowing recount of how much she enjoyed riding my bike as if I needed words to prove it. Her enthusiasm makes me hope it will be sooner, rather than later, we’ll be making that trip to Flagstaff.
If one short journey makes her want to kiss me like she’s just done, I have to wonder what effect a longer one will have.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Lizard
While there’s still an underlying current of unease deep inside me, I have to admit the biker compound is completely different to anything I expected. I may not recognise the people that live here, but they all treat me like a friend, without any uneasiness or distrust that they’d show toward a stranger.
My stomach replete with an excellent breakfast that was particularly tasty after hospital food, I take another coffee out into the surprisingly clean and comfortable clubroom, seating myself on a couch which I’d expected to find old and worn, but still looks relatively new. I ease myself back and rest my head. It wouldn’t take much for me to doze off, but I try and fight the wave of tiredness that floods over me.
I consider the people I’ve met. Demon and his wife Vi, the president and first lady. Thunder who’s the sergeant-at-arms, and Mace the enforcer, whatever that means. Beef who’s the VP and Steph, his old lady who’s blind. Then Buzzard and Sindy, Bomber and Jeannie who I haven’t quite got the measure of yet. One minute she’s all smiles and laughter, and the next, well, let’s just say she runs a tight ship. Sparky who introduced himself as the road captain, and Cad who apparently spends most of his life with his computers—a man so pale I half expect him to admit he sleeps in a coffin.
Then there’s Ink, who seems to believe himself a close friend as well as a fellow Marine. I’ve also met Rusty, an older man, who’s particularly interested in my health. Pyro seems solid, and Mel, his wife, is expecting their first kid. Paladin had appeared right at the end of breakfast with Jayden who barely looks legal, but I’m assured she definitely is. Wills and Judge, two younger men who haven’t long been members.
Nails and Dirt are two of the prospects. Bagel’s their dog, and Max is Beef’s wife’s guide dog. The other prospects, what are their names? Oh yeah, Karl and Beaver, I’ve not yet met.
I give a small smile, my brain having successfully passed my simple test of remembering everyone I’ve come across. Wait, wasn’t there also a man called Hellfire? Demon’s dad I was told?
When I’d first suffered my brain injury, my short-term memory had been fucked, or so Vanna had told me. That I can put faces to names is a sure sign that’s not happening again. At least I can remember something I heard five minutes ago.
“Dad?”
“Shush. He’s resting.”
“What?” I jerk awake, knowing I had indeed drifted off. “What time is it?” When they tell me, it appears I’ve been asleep for two hours. Jeez. I’m like an old man. I know I’ve aged years which I can’t remember, but I’m not as old as all that.
“You’re going to be tired.” Vanna sits down beside me. “The doctors explained it will take up to six weeks for your brain to get back to normal.”
“Normal? Our Liz?” Ink walks past, pausing to wink at me. “Can’t wait to see that. Will be a fuckin’ first for him, that’s for certain.”
I don’t know why, but something about him pulling my leg seems right.
I ignore the childish urge to show him my finger. “How did you get on at the shop, Cas?”
I notice my son’s eyes brighten. “Mace showed me how to tune up an engine.”
“You like mucking around with bikes?”
“Bikes, cars.” He shrugs. “Sure. I like them. Can’t wait until I can legally drive.”
I notice Vanna stiffen at the word legally and remember the trouble Cas had been in. I quirk a brow at her.
Vanna nods at me, and speaks to him, “Cas, you’ve got to wait. You’ve got to promise me—”
“Too fuckin’ right he does,” a voice bellows.
We all look up to see the VP has overheard. He addresses my son sternly. “You’ve had one pass, kid. Next time, we won’t save your ass. You fuck up again and you’re on your own.”
Cas nods seriously as if this has already been explained to him. Should have been my job, but I still don’t know how to talk to him. Beef eyes him for a moment, seems to read sincerity in his face, then jerks his chin and strides off to do whatever he’d been on his way to get done.
“Lizard, this morning I’ve been doing some thinking. I, we, need to talk to you.”
I raise my eyebrow again. I might have lost my memory, but people starting conversations with the need to talk often signals the topic isn’t going to be what I want to hear.
“Talk then,” I invite her. Is this where she’s going to tell me she doesn’t like the man I’ve become?
“Your memory loss, we don’t know whether it’s permanent, whether it’s going to come back. Even if it does, whether you’ll want to be part of the club, or whether…”
“Whether my body is too fucked up.”
If the flicker of pain crossing her face is anything to go by, I’d indeed put into words what she had more delicately been trying to say. Her look of compassion is too intense to be one that should be shown to a husband by his wife. I should be the strength in this relationship, not her. When her hand covers mine, I almost snatch it away. But she’s got hold of my right, and the darn thing will barely work.
“Liz. Until the swelling goes down, we won’t have any idea about your memory or what you’ll be capable of doing.”
I nod, wondering where she’s going with this.
“Things happened so fast yesterday. I’ve been so tied up with you and your needs, that I’d forgotten one important thing until Vi asked what I was going to do about it.” A look crosses her face as though she can’t believe what she’d done. “Cas needs to go to school. He’s already had a week off. Either he goes back to Denver, or he’ll have to transfer here. I don’t even know what will be involved.”
“Summer break is coming up in a few weeks,” Cas puts in. “It will be best if I continue at my current school until then.”
“What about the friends who got you into trouble last time?” Or was it that he got them into the mess? I wonder whether I’ll ever have the relationship with him where he’ll tell me everything.
I notice Vanna’s face has hardened. “You heard what Beef said. No second chances. Cas keeps his nose out of trouble, or all bets are off.”
“I like Beef and Mace. I like the club,” says Cas. “I don’t want to mess anything up or disappoint them.”
That he hasn’t mentioned
disappointing me, doesn’t pass me by. But this is not the time to address it, and if I’m honest, I don’t even know how. But Cas continuing at his current school until summer break makes sense. “So, are we going back to Denver tonight?” Changes. So many changes. I realise I’m comfortable enough to feel relaxed here now, and at least I’m sleeping in my own bed, though I don’t remember it. In Denver, I’ll be in a house I hadn’t had a chance to put into my memory banks either then or now. And unless Vanna doubles up with Cas again, I’ll be sleeping with my wife. Unable to meet any physical expectations, or it’s possible that I’m unwilling.
“We’re going, you’re staying here,” Vanna says fast, like ripping a Band-Aid off. “There’s so many reasons. But we’ll be back at the weekend.”
“No,” I tell her, simply, staring her straight in the eye. I cover her hand with my left one, aware it’s shaking slightly. “Vanna, I can’t lose you now. What if my brain flips again, and it’s you I can’t remember?”
My honesty, my fear, has her throwing herself at me, holding me tight. My left arm clasps her to me.
“You won’t forget me again, Lizard. Weekends will give us a chance to get to know the people we are now. It’s only for six weeks.” She hugs me tightly, then puts distance between us again.
Six weeks, only seeing her two days out of seven? She’s mentioned the length of time I need for my recovery, not just the month I promised to the club. Too long. What if I start to remember myself as a biker? What if I start being tempted by the younger girls? I’ll have to ask her to trust me when I’m not sure whether I’d be able to trust myself. Right now, I’d never dream of being unfaithful, couldn’t believe I’d even think about going with a woman who wasn’t my wife, but for ten years it seems I had no such reservations.
“Vanna, please take me with you, or you and the boy both stay. We’ll sort out his schooling somehow or other.”
Cas is looking from me to Vanna, then he gets up and walks away. His face is unreadable. Guess he doesn’t care what happens between his mom and his dad if he gets his way. Isn’t that the case with teenagers? Aren’t they selfish? Or that’s what I’ve heard.
Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6 Page 109
