Satan’s Devils MC -Colorado Box Set: Books 4-6

by Mellett, Manda

  Problem with having a darn swollen brain is that I’m not sure who I am, who I was, or what I’ve the potential to become. Whether I could ever be worthy of being a husband for her.

  So when the car disappears out of the gate, I catch her eye, jerk my chin, then my crutches clatter across the pavement as I make my way back inside. Alone.

  The doctors had told me rest was my friend, and even I have to admit I’m tired after the outing today. An evening doze turned into an early night. When I wake, it’s morning again. I shower, dress, then descend to the clubroom and take up my normal seat on the couch where I’ve taken to spending most of my days.

  I hate being an invalid lying in bed. I’ve got into a routine of getting up, then coming down and taking up residence here. That way I’m involved in what’s going on. That first day I admit it was so I could check nothing nefarious was going on, which would make me insist on leaving with my wife and son. But now it’s habit, and I’ve grown to enjoy the steady stream of interruptions and visits from the women and men.

  Fuck. There’s a pain, a throbbing in my hopefully starting to heal brain. I lean back my head, digging my fingertips into my temples, trying to massage the ache away.

  “You okay, Liz?”

  I glance up at the man who’s standing close. “Yeah. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just the pain that’s always hovering there.”

  “Can I get you something? Glass of water? Beer?”

  “Nah, Mace. I’m okay.” I close my eyes again, but don’t sense him moving away. I’ve had enough of soft drinks and am loath to touch beer in case the alcohol makes my head worse. A question floats into my head, and I let it out of my mouth. “Why do you call Ink ‘Leatherneck’, but not me?”

  There’s a pause before he replies. “Apart from mentioning your first tour a couple of times, you never spoke about your other tours or the time you served. It seemed more something you wanted to forget, rather than be reminded of.”

  Or, as it turns out, I didn’t need any help not to remember. I’m becoming more comfortable, the pain’s easing away, but I don’t want to open my eyes in case it returns.

  “How many tours did you do, Brother?” Mace asks in a casual tone. I appreciate him sitting down and staying talking to me.

  I think back. “Three where I came back whole. The fourth? Don’t recall how I got home.”

  I hear him draw in a breath. “What else do you remember, Liz?”

  Lightbulbs are flashing in my head, things closer than they’ve been before, but nothing I can grab hold of. Images swirl but disappear before they can fully form.

  “It doesn’t matter, Liz,” he says fast, sounding concerned.

  I open my eyes.

  “You sure you’re alright?”

  “Tired, but that’s nothing new.”

  “Okay then.” He stands but leans in and pats my shoulder. “Ink wants to talk to you later.”

  Idly I wonder what about.

  I’m not alone long. Vanna’s my next visitor.

  “How was your day?”

  She flops down on the seat. “Slow, but I managed to get some semblance of order in the files. There were handfuls of scribbled notes in a drawer and I transferred the important stuff onto the computer. Your handwriting’s awful, Liz.”

  I give her a sheepish look. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

  She brushes her hand over her face, and I notice she’s tired. My gut clenches when I realise she’s used to working herself to the bone to support her and Cas, and now she’s also taken responsibility for me. Not that I need her help financially, or not yet. I’d had that chat with Buzzard, and he told me I was good while I was still a member.

  But I’ve also discovered that if I can’t ride, I won’t be a Satan’s Devil whether I want to stay one or not. The choice will be taken away from me. Picking up the stress ball that’s always close to me, I squeeze it in my hand. Cas had noticed an improvement, and perhaps there was. But I’m coming along too slow for my liking.

  “Mind if I join you?” Ink sits down taking our permission for granted and places his beer on the table between us. “I know you won’t remember, but Mace came up with the idea of converting one of the old factory buildings into a gym.”

  I’m actually aware of that. Escorted by a prospect in case I tripped, I’d gone outside to take some exercise and explore my surroundings, noticing construction work going on, and had asked what it was. I raise my chin.

  “Mace,” he continues, “having come up with the idea, dropped it like a hot potato and passed it on to me to get it up and running.” He leans in and says conspiratorially, “Fact is, I hate Beth working out in the gym in town, want her close by instead. Anyway, I may have jumped the gun a bit, got some equipment arriving next week.”

  I frown. “I didn’t think it was that far along.”

  “It’s not,” he grins. “So I’m having to make space in the basement.”

  “And you’re telling me this, why?”

  “One piece is an elliptical. A cross-trainer. Thought if you started off gentle, it could build strength in your arms and legs.”

  “He’s not ready for that,” puts in Vanna, her brow creased.

  “I might be,” I reply to them both. “I’m seeing the physical therapist in a couple of days, I’ll ask him what he thinks.”

  “Good plan.” Ink nods, taking the beer he hasn’t touched and rising. He pats me on the shoulder. “Need to get you riding again, Brother.”

  Wind in my hair, pavement under my wheels and me seated on my Harley fitted out with Screamin’ Eagle parts. I can’t fucking wait. My eyes crease, and I shake my head, pain hurting me again.

  “Liz?”

  “I’m okay, Vanna.” Or I will be in a little bit. These pains don’t last long now.

  Two days later both the doctor and the therapist clear me for gentle exercise, another scan shows the swelling’s going down at the rate expected. They’re pleased with my progress even if I think it should be going faster. Neither will make promises about how far I’ll get, and that I may have to be prepared to have some form of lasting disability, and can offer no chances of how much, if anything, I’ll ever remember. Well, fuck that. Their view that being alive should be enough is not one I share. My head might be fucked, but I’ll do what I can with my body.

  The headaches are a consequence of the operation I’d had and should go in time, it’s just the brain healing itself.

  My dressing is finally removed, and I realise it’s time to do something about my hair, as I’ve a bald patch on my scalp. It’s a shame, as while I can’t remember growing my hair, I’ve become used to seeing myself with longer locks. Now it’s all got to come off if I’m going to resemble a human being and not a freak.

  Mace keeps his hair military short and has offered to clip mine. When I return from the hospital, I give him the go ahead, and follow him into his room and then to his bathroom.

  “Christ, I look like an FNG,” I tell him, as I see myself in the mirror for the first time after he finishes. “You’ve taken it a bit short.”

  “Shorter is best,” he tells me. “The site where you had your operation won’t show so much. I’m amazed there’s so little scarring. Did they really cut part of your skull out?”

  “Yeah. Frightening, isn’t it?” I shudder, thinking of having a surgeon’s hands inside my head. I’m glad I’d been unaware of it, knowing some people are conscious during brain operations.

  Mace finishes brushing hair off my neck and shoulders. “There, all done. It will be easier as you can just shower and go now. Cas coming tomorrow?”

  “Yes.”

  “How are you getting along with him?”

  “Alright, I think. It’s so fuckin’ strange having a son near grown up.”

  Mace comes around in front of me. “The Liz I knew never wanted a wife and kids. You ever think it’s because in the depths of your mind, you knew you already had a family and didn’t want to replace them?”

  I inhale
, then sigh the breath out. “I don’t remember that I didn’t remember. And if that’s not fucked up, I don’t know what is.”

  “How you getting on with Vanna? Things moving in the right direction?”

  “Truth man?” He nods, so I give it to him. “We can’t move past being friends. Nowhere near approaching lovers. Sometimes I wonder whether going back to her house, being forced to live together would have made a difference. We’d have to share the same bed for a start.”

  “Or one of you would have ended up sleeping on the couch.”

  Quite possibly, and knowing my luck, it would have been Vanna. She wouldn’t have let me as I’m still recovering.

  “She’s an attractive woman, Liz. Hey.” He holds up his hands as I stiffen. “Just calling it for what it is. You must have noticed.”

  Taking another deep breath, I wave down at my groin. “I’m not interested in her that way.”

  His eyes widen. “You’re telling me she doesn’t give you a fuckin’ chubby?”

  I jerk my head up and down sadly.

  “You get hard when you see the club girls?”

  “Fuck no,” I reply aghast. Apparently I once did, but they don’t get me horny now.

  He prods me in the shoulder. “You’re a dick, you know that?” I do, unfortunately, that’s the point. “What is it about ‘you’ve just had a brain op’ that you don’t understand? I know you probably think it has a mind of its own, but for your information, your dick’s under control of the head on your shoulders.”

  I gaze at him. Is he right? Am I not getting horny because I can’t anymore? I don’t know what’s more horrifying. That I can no longer get it up for my wife, or that I can’t for anyone at all.

  He reads my mind. “Christ, Liz. I’m not saying Viagra is in your future. I’m saying you need to give yourself time. If nothing’s getting your dick to stand to attention, it’s probably just your brain still sorting shit out.”

  I hope he’s right. “Thing is Mace, there’s a brick wall between me and Vanna, and I’m not talking about the one between my room and the next. We talk, politely, but as strangers. I just can’t think how to start breaking that darn wall down.”

  “Hey,” he continues, “think about this. Say if you’d parted from Vanna twelve years ago, got divorced or something. If you’d lived separate lives all that time, then met her again and wanted to get back with her, would you have invited her straight back into your bed?”

  “Of course I fuckin’ wouldn’t. That would be awkward. We’d have to…” I pause and look at him thoughtfully. “I’d have to court her again. You’re fuckin’ right, Mace. I need to take her on a date.”

  He claps his hands as if I’d performed a trick. “Well that would be a good place to start in my humble opinion.”

  I decide to turn the tables. “You seem pretty friendly with the woman, Shayla.”

  One side of his mouth turns up. “If I’m honest, I don’t know what I want, Liz. Never saw myself with an old lady, but she doesn’t deserve a man who’d fuck her and run. We’re friends, like you and Vanna, but the difference is, she turns me the fuck on. If I was going to settle down, it would be with a woman like Shayla. For now, I’m just going with the flow and seeing where it leads us.”

  “And if it leads to your bed?”

  “I hope it does, Brother. Just not sure of what happens after.”

  I pull my crutches toward me, far more practiced now, it only takes seconds before I’m standing. “Thanks, man, for the haircut and the advice.”

  He waves off my gratitude. “Anytime. Now get out of here.”

  I grin and walk to the door. With my hand on the doorknob I half turn and say over my shoulder, “Why the fuck am I thinking of ginger?” Then, certain my brain’s now playing olfactory tricks on me, I shake my head and make my exit.

  Instead of descending the stairs, I go to the room where Vanna is staying. When I knock, she opens the door wearing a robe which she pulls around her tightly. A towel twisted into a turban covers her hair, and the red glow of her skin tells me she’s just gotten out of the shower.

  She doesn’t invite me in, and I don’t ask to enter, her clothing, or lack off, a step of intimacy neither of us are ready for yet. But I do lean in closer and inhale. Whatever shampoo or shower gel she’s just used is enticing, melding beautifully with the perfume that’s hers.

  “Liz. Your hair!” Her eyes widen.

  “Had to be done, Vanna.”

  “It’s so short.” One hand holds the robe together, the other reaches out and I bend so she can run it across my scalp. “Stubbly,” she informs me.

  “You like it?”

  “I used to, but now it reminds me of when you were in the Marines.”

  I can tell by her face it had been a worrying time for her, her concern not unfounded considering the way my service had ended. “I’ll grow it again.”

  “Just do what you’re most comfortable with.”

  Should it worry me that she doesn’t have an opinion? Or does she feel unable to voice it? I set that aside for now, and tell her, “Tomorrow night, you, me and Cas are going for a family meal. Away from the club. Then, on Monday, I’m taking you out.”

  One side of her mouth curves. “Are you telling or asking?”

  I smile. “Which would work?”

  “In this case, either. I think that both are a good idea.”

  I give her the full intense weight of my stare. “Let’s just make this clear. Monday is date night. We’re going to start over.”

  I try to read her expression but can’t tell whether she thinks if that’s a good or bad thing.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Mace

  Shayla working at the shop is playing havoc with my libido. That I’m smoking more hasn’t gone unnoticed by Pyro. Seems every time she leans over—to get to something on an engine or a spare part off the workbench, it doesn’t matter the fuck what for—I get sight of her perfect ass, or the curve of her tits, and I have to take five to bring myself under control.

  The club girls hold no interest for me, seems my dick has decided it only wants her.

  I’m taking things slowly, making sure not to rush her, just trying to make her more comfortable around me. Ignoring the effect she has on my dick, I enjoy being around her. Since our lunch date we haven’t progressed further, but I’ve maintained the ground I’d gained, sneaking kisses when there’s no one around us, and my hand often brushes against hers when I reach for a tool, or step too close when passing her. She’s good company, and we often share jokes as we work, her often mocking me I wouldn’t know what to do with a real engine.

  My evenings had been tied up lately. Wills had had to head out of town for a few days, which meant I’d stepped up and taken his role temporarily at the strip club. But he’s on his way back now, which leaves me free to ask Shayla out again.

  I take the opportunity when Pyro steps out to deliver a car, and Ink is fuck knows where. Beckoning to her, I open the door to the storeroom, checking first that none of the civilian workers are inside.

  “What are you doing, Mace?” she asks, suspiciously.

  “Just getting some privacy to ask you out, darlin’. This way you can turn me down without any asshole being any the wiser.” I wink.

  She chuckles softly. “Another date? Was lunch the first one then? Is this your way of asking if we can progress to second base?”

  It might well be. I grin. “Is that where I can put my hands on your delicious backside?”

  “As long as I can get mine on yours.” My eyes open wide at her reply. She stuns me more when she adds, “Might have to move quickly through the bases, I don’t want to be responsible for you getting cancer.” She starts to laugh at the expression on my face, and my eyebrows rise higher. “You…” she starts, stops, then tries again, “All I need to do is wiggle my ass, and you’re running outside.”

  “You do that on purpose?” I growl. I’d thought it was just something she did unconsciously. “You
been fuckin’ taunting me woman? Fuck. I thought I was hiding what a pervert I was, ogling your ass all the time.”

  “You think I don’t stare at yours?”

  What? I hesitate to ask but want to know the answer. “Do I, er… Do I have the same effect on you?” Please say yes.

  “Well I may have thought of taking up smoking a few times.” She winks. “But I don’t have something to hide.”

  “True,” I lean in closer, “but please tell me you have to bring spare panties to work.”

  She knocks against my arm. “Mace. I’m so not telling you that.”

  I was right not to rush things. Seems taking it slow, getting her used to me being around, has worked. “So, tomorrow. You want to come out with me?”

  “Not tonight?”

  I wish I could. “Church tonight, darlin’. But tomorrow I’m all yours.”

  When she raises her face, I know she wants me to kiss her, but she tells me first, her voice breathy, “Mace, you taunt me as much as I taunt you. But I don’t know if...”

  “I won’t push if you’re not ready. First base will do for now, Shay.” I can’t imagine ever saying that to another woman, but with her it’s true.

  “What are your waiting for?” As she speaks, she’s rising on tiptoe, one of her hands going behind my neck, pulling my mouth down to meet hers.

  I give her this, let her control the pace, and this time it’s a groan that passes through my lips. Not of frustration, but of sheer pleasure at her taste. The only problem with kissing her in the storeroom is that I’m certain to need yet another cigarette after. But hell, it’s worth it.

  That’s where I am now, outside, willing my cock to calm the fuck down which isn’t easy as I’ve the tang of her on my tongue and her perfume in my nostrils. The thought of spending one-on-one time with her tomorrow night is going through my head as I take a draw of smoke down into my lungs and blow it out.

  Of course, Pyro has to return at that moment. “Christ, man. Again? You bought shares in a fuckin’ tobacco company?”