by Dixon, Ruby
I want to grab her and crush her to my chest, but I know that would scare her. I drop my gaze and shake my head. "I will do everything in my power to ensure that you're safe. This I promise, Lucy."
"All right." Her words are soft, and she reaches out and touches my hand. "Thank you, Rektar."
That small touch reminds me of how she caressed my cock last night, and I have to take several deep, steadying breaths before I'm composed enough to move even a single step. I watch, instead, as she heads across the street to the small mercantile that serves the dry goods needs for the colonists here. She pauses just inside, then raises a hand in greeting and begins to talk to another human female. Good. Safe. I scan the area, but there are no others around, so I head into my office to talk to Khex.
My co-worker has his feet kicked up on his desk and is watching vids on his data pad. He glances up at me as I enter, looking amused. "You'll never guess who I just pulled in for trespassing at the docks this morning."
I pause. I've been so busy trying to think of the right way to bring things up to Khex that I'm thrown for a loop. "Who?"
He glances down at his data pad. "The name is Mezzak Sta'Iq and I believe you filed a warrant for trespassing last night?"
I'm stunned. Nothing is ever this easy. "That's the one that was trespassing on Lucy's property. He was trespassing in town?"
"Yup." Khex sits up, his feet on the floor. He nods toward the jail cells in the back. "Our friend decided he was going to try and stow away on a ship heading to Three Nebulas and was caught hiding in their cargo hold. Seems he's got warrants on three other stations, too, so I'm arranging for a prison transport to come and pick him up, and we'll collect the bounties and add them to the local funds…unless you object?"
"No objection," I say, mystified. Normally we have to chase down every idiot that breaks the law. This one just fell into our laps. It's…too easy. It's like the universe is letting me know that I don't have to marry Lucy after all. That she'll be safe without a husband. It's an easy out if I want it.
But I absolutely don't want it.
I want Lucy. "Good job," I say to Khex. "Lucy will be pleased."
He sets his data pad down and rummages through some of the items on his desk, looking for something, distracted. "You're here early. Did your night not go as planned?"
"Yes and no," I admit. It went wildly better than I dreamed, and yet…not how I intended. "I am going to marry Lucy," I blurt out. "Today."
Khex sits up, a baffled expression on his face. "You are?"
"I am."
"A marriage? Like…a human ceremony?"
"Yes." I hesitate again, wondering how much I should confess to him. "She says she needs a mate, and she asked if you were available. I am here to tell you that you cannot have her."
Khex crosses his arms over his chest. "What if I want her?"
My entire body stiffens with anger. I bare my teeth, ready to fight…and realize that he's grinning. He's teasing me. "You are a rotten friend," I mutter. "For a moment you had me believing you."
"What brought about this change of heart? You've been afraid to talk to her for weeks now. She comes in daily and pushes her tits right under your nose and you never look at her. I thought the poor thing was going to give up."
Khex thinks she's coming in to see me? That she's trying to lure me into noticing her? Me, an unwanted, overfed bastard son with no name to call his own? I'm utterly surprised…and yet in a way it makes sense. I've just been too blind to notice it. She does come in daily. She always sits right across from me. Her clothes are always low cut. I think about this morning, and the welcoming smile on her face…and how her breasts practically spilled out of her dress and onto my plate.
Kef me, I'm an idiot. "I never realized." I rub a hand down my face. "I…she…we touched last night."
"Aaah." The look on his face is full of understanding. "And was this your first female?"
Coming from anyone else, I would be enraged at that question. But Khex knows me, knows my history, knows how strait-laced I am. Knows that my focus has always been my career. A mesakkah female would not look at me twice. She would ask about my family and then run in the other direction. But I also never thought I would meet anyone like Lucy. She's beautiful, clever, loves to cook…and wants me for some reason.
I never hoped for a mate. Now I can't get the thought out of my head.
"She is my only," I tell him, and hope that answers it. She is not the “first” because that implies there will be more at some point. I do not want more, I just want Lucy. Only Lucy.
Khex beams at me. "Congratulations, my friend. I'm happy for you. A word of advice, though—don't listen to all the hygiene law nonsense. Plas-film on everything ruins all the fun."
Plas-film. I didn't even think about plas-film. It's a thin film designed to protect one body from another, to prevent the spread of germs. I think about how she touched me last night, her hand covered in my spend. How she licked her finger to taste me. There was absolutely zero plas-film involved and it didn't occur to me to ask how she feels about such things. It is a very common practice on Homeworld. It also strikes me as very sterile and unpleasant. "I will talk to Lucy and see how she feels about it."
"Good idea. In fact, talk to her about everything. She's had a traumatic experience being taken from her planet and dragged to this one. You will want to make sure she's absolutely okay with everything you two plan on doing. She might not bring something up, but then it means it's your job to do so. No matter how uncomfortable the conversation is, it's far better to have the discomfort ahead of time than when you're balls-deep inside her. Feel me?"
"You have given this a lot of thought," I point out.
"Let's just say that I'd much rather have no partner at all than an unenthusiastic one," Khex replies with a grin. "And trust me, you don't, either."
I really don't. I can't imagine Lucy looking up at me in distaste or displeasure, not when her smile is so utterly entrancing. "I'll talk to her about everything," I reassure him. "I've no wish to scare her."
Talking isn't something I particularly excel at, but I need to try harder…for her sake.
29
LUCY
"I'm so excited," I tell Kim, practically dancing in place with my enthusiasm. "I loved your last story. I can't believe the new one is about to start already!"
She pats her slightly rounded stomach, smiling. "It's because of this. When I'm home, Nassakth wants me to lie in bed all day so I can rest. He's afraid I'm going to hurt myself working on the farm. And this is the first baby for both of us, so I'm taking it easy. It gets boring, though, so I work on writing." Kim smiles at me, an expression of blissful pleasure on her face as she rubs her pregnant belly.
I'm so jealous I could scream. No, “jealous” isn't the right word. Envious. I love Kim and I'm thrilled she's found a good alien man that makes her happy and gives her great sex. I'm so excited she's going to have a little half-cat baby, and I can't wait to babysit for her. But I'm downright envious. She has everything I want, and it just highlights how lonely I am.
"Well, the book club is more than ready to have something new to read," I gush at her. "We've taken to re-reading your last one just because we've run out of new books."
"Ugh, that's so frustrating. I didn't realize." Kim gets a thoughtful look on her face. "I could ask Nassakth if he can pull strings, see if we can put a bounty on any human books that show up for trade. Bethiah's always checking in with us and asking if we need anything. Maybe I'll put that bug in her ear." She snaps her fingers. "Oooh, or I'll ask Sophie. She's a friend of mine and lives out on an abandoned station with her mate. She's got a few books and I'll ask if she can find a way to scan one of them in for me."
I try not to squeal with excitement. We've got plenty of food and drink on Risda III, but entertainment-wise, it's a bit of a desert. Most of the alien vids are completely baffling for humans to watch, and since most of us can't read any languages but our own, we've had to creat
e our own entertainment. There are a few paper books that have been smuggled onto the planet, but the borrowing list for those is a mile long and it takes months and months to get your hands on a book. We have an email chain of sorts set up between the ladies here, and Kim has taken to writing chapters to keep us entertained. She finished her second book recently and has started her next, and our book club (which is more of an excuse just to get together since books are so rare) is beyond excited to have more reading materials. A few books scanned in so someone can share the files would be magic. "Tell her you want the books, no matter how bad the scans are. I will happily re-type them into a data pad if needed."
Kim nods. "I'll contact her. Give me a few weeks, though. Sophie and her mate don't stay connected and only check for messages infrequently. I think they like their quiet."
I shudder at the thought. "I get enough quiet every day as it is. I'm desperate for company."
"Mmm, speaking of company, don't look now," Kim murmurs. "Your big hunk of an officer is heading this way."
I glance out the windows of the general store, and sure enough, Rektar is headed in this direction. God, he looks good. I bite back a whimper at the sight of his big shoulders. A lot of taller guys are built like an inverted triangle, but Rektar is just a big square. He's just wide and thick, and all of it's muscle, and I love the sight of it. I love his plain, unadorned horns and his no-nonsense haircut. I love his boring “custodian” uniform because it means he's a good, law-abiding sort of guy. He's not the type to enslave women and drag them away from their planet, or the type to sneak into a woman's barn and try to scare her.
He's the Dudley Do-Right of outer space and I have such a crush on the man.
Everyone in town knows it, too. I've made it clear to everyone that I find Rektar attractive…clear to everyone except Rektar, it seems. I think about how astonished he looked last night when I touched him. I must not be good at getting my feelings across. Even now, I wonder if he's coming here to tell me that I'm free to go back to my place…without him. That he's ashamed of what happened between us and never wants to see me again.
That would hurt.
Kim pats my shoulder and murmurs something about checking with the shopkeeper about spices. I'm not paying much attention. My entire focus is on Rektar, because he's looking through the window, scanning for someone. Looking for me, I hope. His gaze locks with mine, and I see something…different in his eyes. My heart thuds with hope. Maybe…maybe…
Rektar opens the door to the store and steps inside, heading for me. "Are you finished with your business here, Lucy?"
I glance around, pretending to consider, but I know the answer already. I'm just killing time, waiting to talk to him again. Waiting to figure out what's going on between the two of us. He's giving me such mixed signals I don't know what to think. "I'm not buying anything today," I tell him. "What's up?"
He straightens, tugging on his uniform, and then gives me an impassively blank look. "Join me. We are heading to the registrar's office."
And I'm disappointed again, because he's now deliberately staring at my chin, not looking me in the eye. This man. I swallow back my frustration and adjust my shawl. "Do I need to sign something?"
"Yes," he barks out. A moment later he pauses. "No."
I clench my jaw, because I'm getting a little tired of being jerked around. I march out of the store, and he's right on my heels. The registrar's office is a tiny hole-in-the-wall-type location sandwiched between a meat processor and the bank, and it's an end of the street I don't often head down. Rektar puts a hand on my shoulder, guiding me along the walkway, and I feel less like a friend and more like a prisoner.
Heck, I don't even want to be his “friend.” I want to be something more, but this morning, he's acting like he can't decide if I'm a leper or a temptress. "You going to tell me what we're doing, or do I have to guess from your attitude?"
Rektar's silent as he leads me toward the building and then opens the door for me. "We are getting married," he admits, ushering me inside.
We're what?
I stare at him in shock. "Excuse me?"
"We are marrying. You need a mate to protect you. I will take on that duty." He sets his jaw and stares at my chin. "I will not brook any argument on this. It is imperative that you remain safe. This is the best way to do it."
As marriage proposals go, this is an absolutely terrible one. It's what I wanted, though. I'd just hoped…I glance over at him but he won't look at me. I sigh. Maybe I just hoped for too much. I'm getting married to the man I want, all right, but he's acting like it's his duty as custodian rather than what he wants as a man. "Can we talk about this?"
"The registrar is very busy," Rektar says, taking me by the elbow and guiding me inside. "We can talk after the marriage."
A szzt male—the race with the sharp, terrifying teeth and large pebbled orange heads—jumps to his feet as Rektar approaches. "A human ceremony?" the male asks. "I am becoming quite familiar with those." He gives us an unctuous look, ushering us toward a tiny makeshift area at the back of the office. There are wilting flowers on a table and a basket of fruit atop a hastily embroidered tablecloth, and I guess that's where all the “special” ceremonies are held. It'd be kind of sad and funny if I wasn't so frustrated at the moment.
This will solve my problems but…I'm not happy. In fact, I'm kind of crushed with disappointment. I never wanted to get married just to get married. I wanted to get married for love…or at the very least, affection. I feel kind of like I'm not getting either one at this rate. I glance over at Rektar, and naturally, he stares at my chin instead of looking me in the eye. He won't look at me, and I wonder if I'm resigning myself to a lifetime of frustration with a mate that I want but who doesn't want me…unless he's jerking off in the barn.
"Do you know how to do a human ceremony?" Rektar asks the registrar.
"I do." The male gestures at us. "Join hands, please."
I hold mine out to Rektar, curious if he'll look at me now, but he just takes mine in his and gazes down at our joined hands. His hands feel big and warm and wonderful, and he grips my fingers tightly. It's the only reason I don't drop them and storm away out of anger.
"Now, Rektar, you must vow to give the human female your name and to fill her belly with young. You must vow to protect her and keep her safe, always."
Pretty sure that the human marriage ceremony doesn't mention breeding in the slightest, but I'll allow it.
Rektar's hands grow sweaty as he grasps mine, gazing down at them. "I am sorry that the only name I have to give you is al'Aira'n. It is not a good name, and you are a good female. You deserve better. But I do promise to protect you and keep you safe, always."
His voice is soft and gentle, and my heart aches for him all over again. Like I give a crap about his last name. I squeeze his hands back. "You forgot to say that you're going to fill me with young," I tease gently.
He flushes, and one of his ears twitches. "And fill you with young," he adds, voice choked.
"Now the human must promise to love, honor and obey her mate," the alien registrar intones.
Funny how “obey” has made it all this way into deep space. I decide I'm going to ignore that part. I watch Rektar, but he's still not looking at me, and I squeeze his hands as I recite my revised vows. "I promise to love and honor my mate, as long as he looks me in the damn eye. If he doesn't, all bets are off."
Rektar's head jerks up. He gives me a startled look, then glances at the registrar. "Give us a moment," he tells the alien and then pulls me away a few steps so we can speak privately. My soon-to-be husband leans in, looming over me. "Lucy…I am not trying to offend you. I am trying to be polite. I was told humans will be afraid if I look them in the eye and I am to avert my gaze to appear unthreatening. I am so much larger than you and I don't want you to be scared of me."
I blink, absorbing this nonsense. "Who told you that?"
"It was part of our interspecies training prior to our arrival o
n Risda III," Rektar tells me in a grave voice. "I take it very seriously. I would like to be the best custodian I can…and I most especially do not wish to frighten you."
I look up at him. His cheeks are flushed and he still looks damn uncomfortable. I reach up and put a hand on his cheek. "When you look away all the time, it makes me feel like you don't want to look at me at all. Like I'm unpleasant."
His gaze meets mine, and there's surprise there. "That is not the case. At all."
"Then look at me," I tell him. "Look all you want. I'm not scared of you. You don't frighten me. And if you aren't sure how to act around me, ask and I'll tell you."
Rektar nods, his gaze locked on me. This time, there's no confusion in his eyes, just bald hunger. Possessiveness. Yearning.
God, that's so much better. I press my luck and decide to keep pushing. I stroke his cheek with my thumb, fascinated at how soft his skin is. It's like touching suede, and I want to pet him all over. "Are you marrying me out of duty?"
"I want you to be safe," he says automatically, and then catches himself. A moment later, he adds, "And…I want you." The words come out strangled. "I know I am not a worthy male—"
"Shh," I tell him, my fingers skimming over his lips to silence that sort of talk. "I won't hear you say such things about yourself. You're a good, strong, fierce man, and you're the best one I've ever met. I don't care if your last name is al'Aira'n or Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious. I still want to marry you. I've wanted you since you got here."
"Then let us marry," he murmurs against my fingers.
* * *
I'm in a daze as the registrar finishes the rest of the bastardized ceremony. Rektar holds my hands and we sign off on official paperwork, where he adds my name to his assets and designates me as his spouse in every record possible. I know from my experience that most mesakkah are very loose with mating unless someone's at the head of an important house and has to produce an heir, so this is a high compliment. Rektar could have just declared himself as my mate and that would have been it. Instead, he's ensuring that everyone knows he's mine and I'm his.
