by L A Cotton
First eBook Edition
Copyright © L A Cotton 2019
All rights reserved.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and events are the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for review purposes only.
If you are reading a copy of this book that has not been purchased from a licensed retailer, please destroy it. Thank you for your support.
Edited by Andrea M Long
Cover Designed by Lianne Cotton
Images licensed from Adobe Stock and Shutterstock
Also by L. A. Cotton
Chastity Falls
Loyalty and Lies
Salvation and Secrets
Tribulation and Truths
Affliction
Redemption and Regrets
Penance and Promises
Absolution
Fate's Love
Fate's Love
Love's Spark
Love Collides
Liar Liar
Liar Liar
Truth or Dare
The Maverick Defense Series
Deliverance
Wicked Bay
Wicked Beginnings
Wicked Rules
Wicked Lies
Wicked Games
Wicked Needs
Wicked Surprise
Wicked Hearts (Coming Soon)
Wicked Promises (Coming Soon)
Standalone
Lucky Penny
Chastity Falls: Box Set
Chastity Falls: Limited Edition Box Set
Watch for more at L. A. Cotton’s site.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Also By L. A. Cotton
Wicked Hearts (Wicked Bay, #6)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Epilogue
Playlist
Author’s Note
Excerpt from Loyalty and Lies
Sign up for L. A. Cotton's Mailing List
Also By L. A. Cotton
Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.
~ Maya Angelou
Chapter 1
Kiera
As I watched my classmates rush past me, eager to escape the halls of school for the next week, it was hard to believe I’d been here eighteen months. I was a senior now. Graduation was right around the corner. I should have been excited, my expression mirroring the kids around me. I should have felt something. Anything.
I didn’t.
“There’s my girl.” An arm slipped around my waist pulling me back against a hard chest. I twisted my head and smiled up at my boyfriend Jack.
“Hey,” I said with a frown. “I thought you had to stay late?”
His face screwed up. “Yeah right, it’s spring break, baby. If Hammond thinks I’m staying behind to bust my balls studying when I could be here with my girl, then he’s got another—”
“I thought you were supposed to be taking the extra class with Hammond?” Jack’s best friend Nick and his girlfriend Summer strolled up to us. Summer shot me a questioning look, but I remained tight-lipped. The three of us had already received our college acceptance letters. Nick and Summer would be attending USC come August and I would be moving to UC San Diego to study psychology.
It still didn’t feel real. Three years ago, I was just trying to survive the halls of Rotunda High while keeping an eye on Mom. But then everything changed.
Everything.
“Not you as well, dude,” Jack grumbled, squeezing me closer, his hand slipping into my jean back pocket. I jolted from my thoughts and smiled at our friends, giving them a little shrug.
“It’s all good,” I said. “He can make it up after the break, right?”
Summer’s brows knitted tighter. She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t riding Jack harder about college. But I didn’t have an answer to that question, not one she’d understand anyway, so I smiled and laughed and silently ticked off another day in my head.
One-hundred-and-sixty-days.
And then I’d finally be able to start over.
Away from Rotunda Heights.
Away from Wicked Bay.
Away from everything.
“HI, BABY.” MOM’S VOICE filtered down the hall. “How was school?”
“Same old,” I said, kicking off my black chucks and slinging my messenger bag over the chair. It was my favorite; littered with band buttons and patches I’d been collecting since I was just a little girl, angry at the world and the shit hand she’d been dealt.
Mom appeared in the door, her hair pulled into a messy ponytail, grease smeared down her apron. “Busy?” I asked, lifting a brow.
“Oh, just getting the place clean.” Her eyes darted to the floor.
“Mom?” I probed, sensing her avoidance.
“I, hmm... Gentry and Rebecca said they might drop by over the weekend.”
Now it all made sense. The smell of cleaning fluid, the pink gloves, and her slightly flushed cheeks from over-exertion. “You don’t need to go to any trouble, Mom.”
“I know, I just...” her voice trailed off. “I want the place to look nice, respectable.”
Our house wasn’t much; a single-story bungalow situated in a nicer neighborhood of Rotunda Heights. And by nice, I mean there wasn’t a drug deal happening on every corner and you could walk a block without running the risk of getting mugged. But it had seen better days. There were stains on the wallpaper and we didn’t have a big fancy kitchen like the Stone-Princes—my half-brother Kyle’s family—but it was ours. And the fact she thought she had to go to any effort for his dad Gentry, and his wife Rebecca... well, it pissed me the hell off.
“Mom.” I went to her and placed my arms on her shoulder. “This is our house, our home. I’m not ashamed of it and neither should you be.”
“Oh, baby.” Her arms slid around me, drawing me into her until the smell of cleaning fluid hit the back of my throat. “I’m not ashamed, I’m not. I just...”
I got it, I did. Kyle and his dad came from a different world. They lived in Wicked Bay, the next town over, with their huge houses with perfectly tended lawns, and expensive sports cars parked in beautifully landscaped winding driveways. They didn’t have to worry about putting food on the table or double checking the locks at night.
“I know, Mom, I know.” I patted her back, feeling her bones beneath my fingers. Guilt gnawed at my insides. Until eighteen months ago, our life had been much simpler. It had just been the two of us. Sure, we had our issues; what family didn’t? But I didn’t leave for school every morning and feel like I was betraying her. Betraying who we were. Everything we’d survived.
Maybe that made me a selfish, ungrateful bitch. But it was a long story. Long, complicated, and to be honest, a really fucked-up story. Kyle and I were half-siblings. Our mom had given him up when he was just a baby, letting his father, Gentry Stone, raise him. Kyle didn’t know I e
xisted until two years ago, and when he found out... well, let’s just say his world crumbled for a while there. But my brother was strong, and he wanted for nothing. I should have known he’d welcome me into his family—unwilling to take no for an answer.
As soon as Kyle discovered I attended Rotunda High School, he talked to his dad about getting me transferred to Wicked Bay High. And damn him, the offer was too good to refuse. Kids didn’t graduate Rotunda and go off to college with big dreams and scholarship-filled bank accounts. They went to community college or straight into some dead-end job serving burgers to the masses. That’s if they even made it to their graduation ceremony. Rotunda was worlds away from Wicked Bay. Kyle and Gentry offered me the chance to better myself, better my future. But for as much as my brother and his friends and family embraced me, for as much as I wanted to fit in, I didn’t. I would always be the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and they would always be the kids who had everything I’d wanted and thought I’d never have.
“What are your plans for spring break then? Will you be seeing Jack?” I didn’t miss the hint of disapproval in Mom’s tone. She, like everyone else around me, didn’t approve of my choice of boyfriend. He was too laid-back, too goofy, with no real direction in life. He wasn’t a bad guy; he just wasn’t the guy Mom hoped I’d meet once I transferred to Wicked Bay. I knew secretly she’d hoped I’d meet someone like Kyle and his friends. Athletic, rich, with a bright future ahead of them.
And that was kind of the point.
Jack was familiar. Safe. He was more like the boys I was used to dealing with at my old high school.
“Well he is my boyfriend, Mom,” I said pulling out of her arms, ignoring the way I internally winced at the word boyfriend. “But it’s Kyle and Laurie’s engagement party so I’ll be seeing them. Everyone’s coming ho... I mean everyone’s coming back for it.”
“Yes, of course.” She tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “Gentry did mention it.”
“You’re invited, Mom, you know that.”
“I know, but I have a shift at the store, and you know how Terry gets about—” I gave her a pointed look and she sighed. “I’m not sure I’m ready, Kiera. August and Beatrice will be there and that’s one reunion I can wait for.”
August and Beatrice were Kyle’s grandparents, and there was no love lost between them. After all, they had supported, encouraged even, Gentry’s decision to keep Mom out of Kyle’s life.
“Fine.” I kissed her cheek. “But I’d like you to come. We can hang out, and who knows, maybe Gentry will have some friends there... some handsome single frien—”
“Hush now.” Color streaked along her neck and into her cheeks. “I might be in a good place, baby, but I’m not ready to date.”
“Okay, Mom, whatever you say. I’ve got to get ready. Jack’s picking me up later; we’re meeting Summer and Nick at the mall.” I went to go to my room, but her voice stopped me in my tracks. “Kiera?”
“Yeah?” I glanced back meeting her soft gaze.
“I’m proud of you, baby. So proud.”
A beat passed, her words sinking into me. The ones she held back from saying glittering in her eyes. “Thanks, Mom,” I choked out.
She gave me a warm smile. It should have comforted me, wrapped me up in love and understanding, but instead, it felt like a million ants crawling underneath my skin. Because I knew that look. I knew underneath her curved lips and kind eyes it was an apology.
Sorry for not being there.
Sorry for hurting you.
Sorry for fucking up your life.
We didn’t talk about the past anymore. It was part of Mom’s ‘look to the future’ mantra courtesy of her overpaid therapist. And it wasn’t like I wanted to talk about the past. But I couldn’t forget it either. I couldn’t forget the nights spent alone and hungry; or sitting beside her, stroking her hair while she lay strung out on the couch, praying she woke up the next morning. So when she looked at me like that I was thrust back into the past. I was right there watching as her eyes flickered open in the hospital; the look of complete despair when she realized she’d survived.
Yeah, I would never forget that. It was burned onto my soul. Permanently scratched into my psyche. And no matter how irrational, part of me would always be the twelve-year-old girl who wasn’t a good enough reason for her mom to want to live.
“DO I HAVE TO WEAR A button down?” Jack whined beside me. I shoved another fry in my mouth letting Nick field this one.
“Dude, it’s The Coastal, it doesn’t get much better than that. You can’t turn up in your old Rolling Stones tee and ripped jeans and expect them to let you in.”
“What’s wrong with that tee? It’s vintage; it cost me like fifty bucks.” Jack caught me unaware, nuzzling his face into my neck. I pushed him away and frowned. His chest rumbled with laughter. “Geez, someone is on their period.”
“Ew, Jack.” Summer grimaced. “I’m eating.”
He gave a half-hearted shrug, not even trying to hide his smirk. “It never stopped me before.”
I blanched and then pushed my plate away and excused myself. “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?” I heard Nick say as I weaved my way through the tables.
Slipping into the restrooms, I went straight to the counter, pressing my palms against the marble, breathing deeply. He didn’t mean it. Jack didn’t mean half the shit that came out of his mouth, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
Summer found me a couple of minutes later. “Hey,” she said.
“Hey.” I couldn’t meet her eyes in the mirror.
“He’s sorry.”
“He always is.” Turning around, I rested my ass against the edge of the marble. “We haven’t—”
Her hands went up. “It’s none of my business.”
I liked that about Summer. She never pushed for details. She never forced her opinion on me. She just listened. But still, I didn’t want her to think that about me. Not when Jack and I hadn’t even had sex yet.
“Things have seemed... better since Lake Tahoe.”
Lake Tahoe... ugh. That was an event I’d rather bury and file away with all the other events in my life marked ‘do not revisit’.
We had all been invited by Gentry and Rebecca to Lake Tahoe for the holidays. Me and Jack. Summer and Nick. Kyle and his girlfriend Laurie. Macey and Maverick—Rebecca’s other children—and their partners Devon and Lo too. They’d all had a great time enjoying the snow and scenery and ridiculously over-the-top cabin Gentry had rented for us. Me and Jack, not so much, and I’d almost ended things when we got back.
Almost.
But something held me back. Maybe it was his cute smile or his goofy jokes or the fact I couldn’t face being alone, but I didn’t end things and he had been trying harder. And for the last two months, things had been... better.
I gave her a half-hearted smile. “Things are better. He just has no filter and I just have no time for his shit.”
She laughed at that. “I know things haven’t been easy since Macey and Kyle left for college, but I’m always here if you want to talk.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it. Are you excited to see them all this weekend?”
Summer’s eyes lit up. “Yes. The house is too empty. Mom and Dad are always working, and Loretta is usually done by the time I get home.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the fact you have a housekeeper,” I said around a weak smile. “So, The Coastal... it’s pretty upmarket, right?”
“It’s only a hotel and restaurant, Kiera.” It might have only been a hotel and restaurant to her, but Summer had grown up around Wicked Bay’s elite. After eighteen months, I was still adjusting to their lifestyle. The parties, Christmas vacations in ostentatious cabins, and housekeepers. We barely had a house to keep.
“I thought you got a dress the other weekend when Macey came home?”
“I did.” Macey had insisted on taking me shopping for the occasion, but really, I think it was just a
n excuse to check in on me. I’d developed a strange relationship with Summer’s half-sister. But it was no surprise really. We were both guarded; hurt by our pasts and wary of our futures. That is, until she met Devon. Now Macey was different; her eyes sparkled, and she had that sickening girl-in-love glow.
“So what is—”
The bathroom door opened, and a woman entered with her daughter, whose pigtails bounced with every step. I watched them with an ache in my chest.
“Kiera?” Summer asked, but I shook my head. “Come on,” I said. “We should get back out there.”
She looked like she wanted to say more, but to my relief, she didn’t. What would I say? I was a mess? I had all this resentment and bitterness festering inside me? Summer didn’t want to hear that. So I did what I always did: pasted on a fake smile and held my head high. Because I was Kiera Lessinger.
And this was my life now.
When we rejoined the guys, Jack wasted no time slipping his arm around my shoulder and leaning in to whisper an apology. “I didn’t think.”
“I know,” I said quietly, letting my pink hair shield my face from Summer and Nick. You never do.
“Are you coming over tonight? To hang out.” His eyes widened with conviction.
“Just to hang out?” I flirted, softening my tone, and his mouth kicked up at the corner.
“Maybe a hot make-out session?”
I smiled back. I couldn’t help it. This was when he was fun to be around. When it wasn’t too heavy or serious. When he let me set the pace.
“Yeah, I’ll come over.” Just then my cell phone vibrated, and I dug it out of my pocket, inching away from Jack so I could read the message.
Macey: You’re all good for Saturday. He’s not coming.
I sucked in a shaky breath, quickly covering when I realized my company. “It’s just Macey. She’s having an outfit crisis.”
Something flashed over Jack’s expression, but then he and Nick launched into a discussion about our spring break plans. Summer sipped her milkshake, saying nothing as I texted Macey back.
