by L A Cotton
Even if Macey knew the truth—which I didn’t think she did—it wasn’t like Trey and I were together. We weren’t anything. He was a free agent. A college guy with needs. And Macey was... well, she was beautiful and eighteen and she probably knew what she was doing when it came to sex.
“Kiera.” Her voice softened. “You don’t need to do that with me. I don’t care who you like or don’t like. I saw the way you looked at us that morning. It was written all over your face.”
The air whooshed from my lungs. “Y-you’re wrong. I didn’t... I wasn’t...” Fuck, this was a disaster. If Macey knew, then so did Kyle. And he couldn’t know.
He could never know.
“I get it, more than you know.” She gave me a sad smile. “But you deserve to know the truth, and I wanted to be the one to tell you.”
Why was she telling me this? Here, of all places.
“Please,” I begged. “Don’t tell anyone. Kyle would—”
“If you think he doesn’t already know, you’re more foolish than I gave you credit for. Kyle knows. Trust me. But sometimes denying it is easier than accepting the consequences.”
“Shit,” I mumbled under my breath. “We haven’t... I mean, nothing happened between us, not really.”
Nothing and everything.
“It’s none of my business. Just be careful, okay? Trey is... well, he’s older, and his reputation isn’t exactly—”
“I get it,” I cut her off, not wanting to hear a list of Trey’s indiscretions. I was under no illusion about his past. About the kind of guy he was before I met him. The guy he probably still was but just didn’t want me to know about. “I do. And thank you. This is probably the strangest conversation I’ve had since meeting Kyle.” My brows crinkled. “Actually, every conversation with my brother is weird.”
Macey smirked at that. “Try living with him. He’s insufferable.”
I shuddered, fighting a smile.
“Should I be worried?” Kyle’s voice boomed across the yard.
“Nope, we’re done here,” Macey stood up, smoothing her hair down. “If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”
I gave a little nod unsure of what to say to that. It was Macey Prince. She was a bitch, yet she’d just offered to be there for me. But I’d have to dissect that later. Because Macey had given me something else.
She’d confirmed what my heart already suspected to be true, but my head hadn’t wanted to believe.
Trey didn’t have sex with her.
But why?
“I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D show,” Trey said as I climbed into his truck under the cover of darkness. We’d only done this a handful of times, but I couldn’t deny the thrill I felt every time I saw his headlights as I waited at the gas station a couple of blocks over from my house.
“I owe you an apology.” His brow arched, but he didn’t reply. “Macey, she told me you didn’t—”
“So you believed Macey but you didn’t believe me?” Hurt strangled his voice, his eyes hard as he looked ahead, watching the road.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here, Trey. We’re not... together, and yet, when I saw you in bed... with her, it hurt. It hurt so fucking much. And it confused me. God, it confused me. Because you’re not mine. Because I have no right to expect you to not do... that with girls. I’m not stupid. You’re in college, Trey... college and—”
“I haven’t been with anyone since before that night at The Shack.”
“W- what?” My eyes went wide, my heart galloping in my chest. I noticed the way his hands tightened around the steering wheel.
“When I first got to college there were a couple of times I almost...” His eyes flicked to mine, and I could have sworn I saw regret there. “But I couldn’t do it. Shit, Kiera, I couldn’t do it.”
“You mean you haven’t had sex with anyone for—”
“Four-and-a-half-months.”
“Oh.” My words dried up on my tongue. He hadn’t slept with anyone since meeting me. That was... well, I didn’t know what to do with that. “Why?” The word sliced through the tension enveloping us.
“I wish I knew. This, us, it can’t work. We both know that.” I nodded softly, not trusting myself to speak. “But I can’t stop, Kiera. I can’t stop thinking about you. When you showed up at the house that morning and saw me and Macey, I almost did something really fucking stupid.”
Fear gripped me. Surely, he didn’t mean...
“I almost told him.”
Oh God.
“Trey, you can’t. If Kyle finds out...” I couldn’t even say the words. It wouldn’t just be Kyle either, it’d be Maverick too. I was sixteen now and Trey was nineteen. But I might have been fourteen for all it mattered. They would never accept this thing growing between us.
Silence weighed down on us both as Trey drove us to our spot, a dirt track leading down to the beach. It was right on the edge of town. Away from prying eyes and unwanted interruptions. He cut the engine and leaned his head back against the seat, dragging in a lungful of air. “I’ve been trying to play this over in my head. Weigh up our options,” he sighed, running a hand over his face. “But the way I see it, we’re screwed.”
Yeah, we were.
“Friends,” I blurted out.
Trey looked over at me like I’d lost my goddamn mind and maybe I had. But this time, sitting here in his truck, felt different. It felt like we were at a crossroads and one of us had to decide.
“Friends?” He sounded incredulous.
“We can be friends.”
“Kiera.” His eyes darkened and the way he said my name... it caused shivers to break out all over my body. “We both know we’re not friends.”
“We could be though. I can’t lose you, Trey.” I’d come to depend on our stolen moments together. Knowing I had him in my corner. I didn’t want to lose that.
I didn’t want to lose him.
Not completely.
“You think I can walk away from you so easily?”
“So, don’t.”
Trey would never be with me in the way I wanted, and deep down, I didn’t want him to ruin everything. Despite how much Kyle irritated the hell out of me, I’d come to need him in my life too. Pursuing this thing with Trey and me would only lead to disaster. For both of us.
Besides, I wouldn’t be sixteen forever. If our connection was as strong as I believed, as strong as it felt, maybe one day we could pick up where we left off.
Maybe one day, it would be the right time for us.
Moving closer, Trey surprised me by cupping my face and touching his head to mine. “And just exactly what kind of friends will we be?” His eyes pinned me in place, my skin heating at his touch.
“Trey,” I gulped, my throat dry, the air around us too thin. “I’m just trying to think of a solution here.” One that didn’t involve him walking out of my life for good.
“You really think you can be just a friend to me, Kiera? What if I meet someone else? Do you want to hear all about her? Do you want—”
“No,” I cried before smashing my lips to his. Trey grabbed at my hips, pulling me onto his lap until I was straddling him.
“Do friends kiss like this?” He taunted, sliding his tongue against mine, licking my mouth, nipping my bottom lip. His hands steadied me as I tried to roll my hips against his, desperate for something to quench the need building inside me. I’d only ever experienced this once before and it was nothing like this.
This. Was. Everything.
The feel of Trey’s hot mouth exploring mine, the way his hands dug into my skin as if he couldn’t get enough of me. I felt drunk on his touch, the way his body responded to me.
The way my body responded to him.
I wanted him.
God, I wanted him so much.
The realization washed over me as I rubbed shamelessly against the hard bulge in his jeans.
“Kiera, we should—”
But I swallowed his protests. I needed this. Just once.
&n
bsp; Just this once.
My hands went to the hem of my tank top and I started to tug it up my body, but Trey’s hands caught mine, smoothing the material back. “We can’t,” he breathed, but I kept kissing him. Dragging my lips over his stubbled jaw to his neck.
“Fuuuuck,” he drawled, his hands slipping to my hips once more. But Trey didn’t steady me this time, he let me ride him. Even though we were fully clothed, even though I ached to feel him, skin on skin, I couldn’t stop. My breathing grew rapid, my stomach coiling so tight my fingers curled into Trey’s shoulders, holding on... needing more.
Trey thrust against me and I cried out, burying my face into the crook of his neck as my body trembled. He held me close, his own breathing labored while waves of intense pleasure crashed over me. He’d barely touched me and yet, I felt him everywhere.
Heavy silence enveloped us as we both processed what had just happened. My heart slowly returned to normal and finally—unwillingly—I untangled myself from Trey and moved back to my seat. He was still rigid, his expression guarded. Pissed, even. I wanted to be angry at him—to shout and scream and tell him what a bastard he was. But I couldn’t.
Not when he wasn’t the one to blame. I’d kissed him. I’d let things go too far.
He broke the painful silence. “Friends?” he whispered, staring out at nothing.
“Friends,” I echoed. We couldn’t keep doing this. We were dangerous together, tonight had proved that. We were a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. And when we did, there would be too many casualties caught in the fallout.
“What just happened—”
“Don’t,” I said, my voice shaky. “Don’t ruin this. I don’t regret it, Trey. Not even a little bit.”
His eyes slid to mine, and I saw the relief settle over him. “Friends,” he murmured again as if he was trying to accept it; process what it meant for us. But I didn’t want to think about that right now. I wanted to remember the way he’d kissed me, how he’d brought me to life and made me soar.
Because deep down I knew Trey was right. We could never be just friends. But if I wanted to keep him in my life, that’s exactly what we’d have to become.
Chapter 14
Present
Trey
“GOOD LUCK, MAN,” DEACON said, leaning into the window. I’d dropped him and Micah off at the house and now I was about to head over to Callie’s place to have the conversation I’d been putting off all weekend.
“Thanks,” I said feeling my stomach knot tighter.
It had taken one too many beers and my housemates’ incessant questions about Callie before I finally confessed what I’d overheard. After they’d almost pissed themselves laughing, they brought a bottle of Jack and helped me drown my sorrows. It had been messy, and I’d woken up with the hangover from hell, but it had been exactly what I needed.
And now I knew what I needed to do.
I pulled up to Callie’s building a few minutes later. She’d texted a few times over the weekend, each time failing to mention her huge fucking mistake. Not that it mattered now. This was something we needed to do in person.
Something we probably should have done a long time ago.
Callie and I weren’t headed toward wedded bliss. We were headed for a shit load of resentment and anger. She loved Logan and I was in love with Kiera.
Fuck, I was so crazy madly in love with her I couldn’t think straight. And not admitting that to myself sooner had done me no favors. Fighting my true feelings for her had only ended up with me going off the rails and falling into the arms of someone almost as messed up as me. Because Callie had been right—we were the same. We’d been using each other to lash out at those around us. Her: her father, and me: my friends. It was fucked-up, but I think somewhere, deep inside, I thought if my friends—mostly Maverick and Kyle—knew I was worthy of someone like Callie Timson, maybe one day, they’d think me worthy of Kiera.
Like I said, it was fucked-up.
But it wasn’t Rick and Kyle’s opinion I should have been worried about—it was Kiera’s. She was the only one who mattered. And time and time again, I’d proved to her I was unworthy. I hadn’t fought for her. I hadn’t waited for her. And I sure as shit, didn’t deserve her. But I couldn’t keep pretending either. I couldn’t stay with Callie a second longer. My old man would blow a gasket, probably cut me off for being such a fuck up but I was done being his pawn.
I was done being anyone’s pawn.
“Hey,” I said when the door swung open.
“I missed you.” Callie beamed, throwing her arms around me, but I brushed her off, stepping into the apartment.
“Trey?” She sounded composed, but I caught the slight tremor in her words.
“I know.”
“Know?” Her eyes widened and her hand went to her throat. “How... how did you find out?”
“I heard you and Sam talking about it Friday.”
“Friday? But you were—”
“I came back for my sneakers.”
“I see.”
“Is that all you have to say for yourself? You told your parents we were engaged. What the fuck, Cal?”
“I’m sorry, okay?” Her composure slipped. “My dad found out Logan tried to call me, and I panicked.”
“So what? You thought we’d get hitched, ride into the sunset, and I’d turn a blind eye so you could go back to fucking daddy’s ex-junior partner behind my back? Come on, Callie, surely you can see how screwed up that is?”
“I didn’t think... I didn’t mean to...” Callie rarely showed her true emotions, but right now I could see through her like glass. She was scared.
“You need to call them right now and tell them the truth. I shouldn’t have waited the weekend to come to you, but I needed space to wrap my head around... all of this.”
“You want me to...” she trailed off when I narrowed my eyes. “You’re right. I should call them. But just hear me out, okay? We can spin this to our advantage.”
“Our advantage?” I snapped feeling anger bubble underneath my skin. “You have got to be fucking kidding me.” Rubbing my head, my hand slid to the back of my neck. “You will call them right now, or so help me God, I will.” And that wouldn’t end well for anyone.
“Trey, please... you don’t understand. My father, he won’t—”
“That’s not my problem,” I yelled. “You told them we were engaged. Engaged. For fuck’s sake.” The more I said it, the more ludicrous it sounded. “That isn’t something you can just come back from, Cal.”
“Is it such a bad idea?” she whispered, her eyes dropping to the floor.
Fuck me. She was deluded. Completely and utterly psycho.
“Look at me,” I demanded, and her eyes lifted to mine. I saw the tears pooling there. “Do you love me? Really love me, Callie?”
“I...” She swallowed. “I care for you a lot. You know I do.”
“Shouldn’t the guy you marry be the guy who makes you happy? The guy you’re so in love with you can’t stop thinking about him, about your future. We both know I’m not that guy for you.”
“B- but you could be.”
Jesus.
“Cal, listen to what you’re saying. Are you really prepared to be engaged to me, to marry me, as a giant fuck you to your old man?”
“I... God, this is a mess.” She finally conceded. I saw it in the droop of her shoulders, the tears falling freely down her cheeks. “I messed up. I really messed up.”
“Yeah, you did.” I dropped down onto her couch. She came and sat beside me.
“I’m so sorry. I never meant for things to get this far. I just wanted to—”
“Hurt him. Yeah, I get it. But this wasn’t the right way.”
“I see that now. I’ll fix this, Trey. I promise, I’ll fix this.”
“Good.”
“And us...” Hope sparkled in her eyes and I realized I would never understand her. She loved Logan, wanted him. But she couldn’t let me go either.
�
��We’re done,” I said coolly. “This, us, it was never going anywhere, and I think deep down you know that.”
“But you need me.” Desperation laced her words, clinging to every syllable.
“Maybe there was a time when I did, but not anymore,” I admitted. “I’ll come by for my stuff in a couple of days. I’d appreciate it if you speak to your parents sooner rather than later.” Standing, I looked down at her. “I’m sorry it came to this, I really am. I hope you find happiness one day, Callie.”
I walked out of her apartment knowing I would never step foot inside it again. But I couldn’t feel relieved yet because I still had one person to deal with.
I had to call my old man.
“DAD?” I SAID AS SOON as he picked up.
“I’m assuming this is an emergency since I had three missed calls?”
I winced at his harsh tone. I’d almost contemplated not calling again, but I needed to get this off my chest before I chickened out. “I have some news.” I inhaled a shaky breath. “About me and Callie.”
“How is the lovely Callie?” he asked. “Me and your mother would love to see her—”
“We broke up.”
“I see.” His tone was cold, dripping with disapproval.
“It’s a long story but Callie told her folks we were engaged, which we were not, and it made me realize this thing between us wasn’t going anywhere, so I ended things.”
“Would being engaged to her be such a bad thing, Son?”
“Did you hear anything I just said?” My jaw muscle ticked. “I didn’t propose. I didn’t ask her to marry me, she made it all up. Surely, even you can see how screwed up that is?”
“Let me tell you what I see, Son. I see a young man who was unwilling to take responsibility until Callie walked into his life. A young man who was too busy drinking and fucking away his opportunities, opportunities that don’t come cheap, let me tell you.” A beat of silence passed, and I braced myself for whatever was coming next. “That girl damn near saved you from yourself and this, this is how you repay her? Do you know how lucky you were to even catch her eye in the first place, Son?”
