‘You realise you called me and said you wanted to talk about something? You’re not making it easy, Harry!’
‘I went to his house. To Daniel Wootan’s house. I don’t know why, but I did. I couldn’t sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well for a while and I just made a decision. So I drove there.’
‘You drove there?’
‘That’s right.’
‘And what did he say, Daniel Wootan, when he saw you?’
‘He didn’t see me.’
‘So you didn’t talk to him?’
‘No!’
‘You say that like it’s ridiculous, like of course you didn’t speak to him. But you drove up there. What did you drive up there for?’
‘I don’t know, okay? I don’t know why I drove up there. I didn’t have a reason. I didn’t go up there to speak to him.’
‘Because you know how stupid that would be? Driving to his house in the early hours of the morning and knocking on his door? That would be pretty stupid, wouldn’t it?’
‘Yes, Maddie, I do know that.’
Maddie huffed. Harry could feel his face burning up. He tried to hide it by lifting his coffee cup. He lingered on taking a swig.
‘Look, Harry, if this is something you need me to cover you for then you’re going to have to tell me every—’
‘It isn’t. You don’t need to cover for me. He didn’t see me. I didn’t talk to him. But I drove up there. I just wanted to tell someone. It’s not like me — that’s not what I do.’
‘And you wanted someone to tell you that it’s okay? That it’s understandable and maybe someone else would have done exactly the same thing?’
‘I don’t need patronising, no. I know I’ve been an idiot. I’m not trying to justify it.’
‘It’s okay, Harry. You drove to the house of the man who was responsible for your wife’s death and you sat outside. It’s understandable. Someone else might have done exactly the same thing. Someone else might not have shown the same restraint, though. Someone else might not have come away and phoned their mate to tell them they’d been stupid. Someone else might have made everything a lot worse. Forget about this morning, it doesn’t matter. But it is out of character. It isn’t like you. Maybe this has hit you harder than you realise?’
‘No. I know exactly how hard it’s hit me. And my girls.’
‘Your daughters? Are they struggling too?’
‘Mel . . . She cuts herself.’ And there it was. Harry had never said those words out loud before, certainly never to another soul and never so curtly. He had used self-harmed before to health professionals and counsellors. But that sounded different — like it wasn’t such an issue. But cutting yourself . . . that was serious. That’s someone with serious problems and that wasn’t his Melissa. Except it was.
Maddie’s expression didn’t change. She wasn’t surprised or horrified. She didn’t baulk at him or immediately ask if she shouldn’t be admitted to a mental hospital. He was wringing his hands. He felt where he had dug his nails in earlier. Maddie reached out and placed her hands on top of his. He felt her warmth. ‘That must be really difficult. You’re a miserable old bastard, Harry, but I know you have a big heart for those girls. It must be near to bursting.’
He bit down hard, the sudden wave of emotion catching him out. ‘I’m here to protect them. That’s all I have to do now. That’s all that’s left. To keep them safe. But how can you protect someone from themselves?’
‘Go to the source. I assume Melissa has struggled with Wootan’s release?’
‘She has.’
‘Is that why she cuts?’
Harry shook his head. ‘This time maybe. She struggled with depression for a little while, too, before even . . . The harm stuff got quite bad when she was at school. It’s all linked together. Robin was so good. She handled it in a way that I never could. I just couldn’t get my head around it. She was a teenage girl with her whole life ahead of her. She should have been having the time of her life, not lying in bed all day. I know better now . . . but I was harsh on her. That just makes it worse. I know now.’
‘You didn’t understand.’
‘I didn’t try. I didn’t have to.’
‘Because you had Robin?’
‘She was so many things. Most of them I didn’t even realise. A big one was softening me for the kids — she was like my translator. She knew that I was frustrated with Mel because I wanted the best for her, because all I wanted — still want — is for her to be happy and I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t.’
‘And now?’
‘Now?’
‘Now you understand?’
‘She’s ill. It’s not her fault. But we got her on the level, between us all, and it was so hard. Then Wootan gets out and the media run with it.’
‘And she takes a dip again.’
‘She didn’t tell me. Her boyfriend phoned me out of the blue. She was in hospital. She had a good go at it, went for the wrist.’
‘She okay now?’
‘I left her with Josh. He’s a good kid.’
‘Jesus! What does a bloke have to do to be good enough for Harry Blaker’s daughter?’
‘I never said he was good enough!’ Harry managed a smile. He took another swig of his coffee and used it as an opportunity to peer round the café. It was quiet on the whole.
‘You said you weren’t sleeping.’
‘Not well. I get off okay . . .’
‘Nightmares?’ Maddie probed.
‘Sometimes. Sometimes I just wake up. I couldn’t tell you why, but once I do there’s no going back to sleep.’
‘Have you spoken to anyone?’
‘About my sleep? I tried some tablets the pharmacist recommended.’
‘Counselling?’
‘No!’ It came out strong — maybe too strong.
Maddie sat back a little but she was smiling. ‘How did I know you were going to say that?’
‘It’s not a pride thing.’
‘Yes it is. That’s exactly what it is. Grieving is a weakness, right?’
‘That’s not what I think.’
‘Well, it shouldn’t be. Grieving would be enough on its own, Harry. Plenty of people need help when they lose someone so close. But you were right there when it happened. I can’t imagine what you saw that day, what you went through. Did you ever talk to someone about any of it?’
‘The police.’
‘The attending officers? Then the investigating officers you mean?’
‘Yes.’
‘What about Welfare? The job have a good setup. I’ve used them. It’s what they are for.’
Harry had an instant reaction. He swallowed it. He sat back and considered it. He had never considered it before. ‘I don’t know. I don’t like it being linked to the job.’
‘Private, then. Or go and see your GP and get referred through.’
‘Maybe you’re right.’
‘Maybe?’ Maddie grinned.
‘Maybe. You get nothing more than that.’
‘That’ll have to do then. Do you need to be here today? You could go see Melissa, see how she’s getting on.’
‘We’re busy. I can’t be taking time away.’
‘Of course you can. There’s nothing I can’t handle. Just take a few hours to go see how she is. It’ll make you feel better to know. Give me a call when you’re done and I’ll fill you in on whatever you missed.’
‘I don’t like missing anything.’
‘Which is half your problem, Harry. You need to start looking after yourself. We have a dead body to investigate. He’s not getting any deader. Take the morning.’
‘And a blood-soaked boy. I still need to get up to speed on that.’
‘No you don’t! Our Rhiannon is doing a fine job. She has an update that even you will be impressed with! I’ll catch up with her shortly. I owe her a coffee for ditching her this morning anyway! I’ll make sure her update is part of your debrief so you won’t miss a thing. Now, go and see y
our daughter.’
He finished the last of his coffee. He hadn’t considered seeing Mel today, not during his working hours at least, but it didn’t seem such a bad idea. The last he knew was a text message from Josh telling him they were heading home. He could check in at least. Be it work or home life, Harry couldn’t stand not knowing.
‘You sure you can cope?’ Harry struggled to keep a straight face.
‘For a man who doesn’t like swearing, you have an uncanny ability to make me want to.’
Chapter 21
Once they left the coffee shop, Maddie stopped to lean against the rail outside. Harry turned a tight left to make for his car. She watched him pull up the collar on his waxed jacket then dig his hands into his pockets so that it pulled tight over his broad shoulders. He didn’t look back. They had said their goodbyes and he was not one to linger.
But today he had been different. There was a vulnerable side to him that Maddie hadn’t seen before. It made her happy. She felt a little bad about that, but he needed to open up to someone and she was delighted that he had chosen her. He disappeared out of sight and she turned her smirk down to check her phone. She’d sent Rhiannon a couple of text messages. The first was just after getting out of the shower: a short note asking how her run was and joking that she suspected Rhiannon had waited for her to get out of sight before immediately turning back. The second message was sent a few minutes earlier, when she was wrapping up with Harry: She let her know she was in the coffee shop near the police station if she wanted to walk round. Rhiannon was normally quick to respond, but there was no reply to either as yet. Maddie re-read her earlier message to make sure there was nothing in there to which she could have taken offence. There wasn’t and, besides, she didn’t think she could offend Rhiannon if she tried. She was still keen to meet with her. Maddie was aware she had cancelled on her the previous day, but Major Crime was like that: you had to react to whatever was coming in. Rhiannon would understand, but Maddie still wanted to make it up to her. With Harry out for at least the morning, she could give her all the time she needed.
She pressed to dial her number. It rang out. The coffee shop was a lot busier than when she had first entered but she looked up as the door swung open for someone leaving and the queue looked to have almost gone. She pushed off the railing and stepped back in. It was just a few minutes before the start of her shift time. She would take Rhiannon a coffee back anyway and maybe grab another one herself.
The walk back was less than ten minutes, time enough for the heat to warm her hands a little too much and she was glad to be able to put the drinks down. She had gone straight to Rhiannon’s desk in the range building. Rhiannon was stepping up to lead a team of DC’s on day shift that week and they were filing steadily in. Rhiannon’s desk had the look of a workplace that had been tidied the night before and not disturbed since. She pulled open the top drawer. Her day book was there. No on-duty detective would be out without it.
‘Hey, anyone seen or heard from Rhiannon this morning?’ she called out. There were shaking heads and shrugs. She checked her phone again. Still no reply. The DCI’s door was shut firmly but there was murmuring behind it. She knocked twice and pushed it open.
‘Sorry, one second,’ the DCI said into his desk phone. ‘Maddie? I’m on a call right now.’
‘Sorry, sir, I know the door was shut. I just can’t get hold of Rhiannon this morning. Has she called in sick?’
‘Who? Rhiannon. Well, no, but she wouldn’t call me direct. The sick line goes through to the FCR. I normally get a notification . . .’ He huffed and thumped his keyboard to wake it up. He apologised again into the phone, which Maddie knew was for her benefit, not for whoever was on the other end. His eyes searched his screen. ‘No. Nothing on here.’
‘Sorry to bother you.’
The DCI started talking again almost immediately. Maddie left the door open on purpose. She was a good few paces away when she heard it slam behind her. She was still smiling when she made it back to the stairs.
‘Hey, you’ve called Rhiannon. Sorry I can’t answer the call right now. I probably saw your name and ignored it. But leave me a message anyway — let’s see if I call you back!’ Rhiannon’s cheeky voicemail message had always made Maddie smile. It didn’t today.
‘Rhiannon, it’s me. I can’t get hold of you this morning and you’re supposed to be at work. If you’re skiving that’s just fine, but can you let me know? Call me back okay? It was only a short run! I’ll head out your way anyway so that if you’re really not well I can at least fill up your hottie bottie or something. And I can check, too. That you’re unwell, I mean. I’ll bring a thermometer. I can’t promise to warm up the tip, and it isn’t one for your mouth.’ Maddie ended the call with a nervous laugh. She was back out to her car by now. She slid into the driver’s seat and waited a few seconds to make sure her phone paired. Then she rolled up to the gate before turning in the general direction of Rhiannon’s home.
* * *
Maddie had quickly fallen in love with Sandgate and she was reminded why when her vision was filled with the sparkling blue vista of the English Channel. She had found a place to park almost where her and Rhiannon had started their run earlier that morning. Parking in Sandgate could be a nightmare. It was genuinely her only grumble, but the road leading to this point was well hidden and part of a one-way system, so there were often spaces. The low wall separating the promenade from the beach was just visible through her nearside windows as she silenced the car. Stepping out was an assault on the senses. The warmth of the sunshine brought with it a sense of the changing season while the light breeze accompaniment bore a blend of every British seaside smell at once. A bold seagull cawed at her as it unfurled and folded its wings then continued to eye her with clear distrust as she moved away, keeping the sea to her left to head towards Rhiannon’s flat.
The building was an impressive, whitewashed block. Maddie counted up to the third balcony on the left side, knowing it to be Rhiannon’s. With the angle of her approach, she couldn’t check the sliding doors at the back for any signs of life. The communal door was on the side, accessed through a gate that seemed to push back. There was a block of buttons on the wall. She pushed the one marked as Appt 4 and rattled the door in its housing. There was a brief flicker of a light behind the button, nothing more. She pushed the button marked Trades while still tugging at the door as her impatience got the better of her. It was heavy, too, and she had to adjust her feet to get it open wide enough. Once inside, she walked up two flights. Every scuff of her foot seemed to echo off the clean walls that were broken up with an occasional block of colour on a canvas. They all had handwritten notices stating: For Sale. All enquiries to Appt 6.
Rhiannon’s door was a crisp white. Maddie knocked straight away then stepped back to peer around the corridor. There were two more front doors on this corridor, one she had walked past that had the number six on it and one off at an angle behind her that showed as number five. Maddie knocked again. She knelt down to push open the letterbox. Her view was restricted by tight bristles. She did her best to part them but she could only see snatches of the interior behind. Maddie knew Rhiannon’s flat well. In the summer she was a regular. They would take advantage of her balcony and stare out over the sea, toasting whatever career decisions had got them to this time and place. She knew the flat opened up almost immediately as you stepped through the door, but through the letterbox it was hopeless.
She thumped again, this time hard enough to sting her knuckles.
‘Rhiannon! RHIANNON!’ She leant against the door, desperate to hear a scuffle, to hear Rhiannon’s voice that might be slightly annoyed and full of the cold that had come on sudden enough to catch her out. There was nothing. Then there was a sound. Maddie held her breath. It came from her left and she jerked her head towards it.
‘Can I help you?’ A middle-aged woman stood in the doorway of the neighbouring flat, the one Maddie had seen to be number six. She sounded annoyed. Her eye
s flickered to take in all of Maddie.
‘The artist, right? I love the pictures.’
The woman visibly warmed in an instant. ‘I try!’
‘My friend lives here. Do you know her?’
‘Your friend? Do you hammer the door like that for all your friends?’ She seemed to tense back up a little.
Maddie stepped closer. ‘I’m worried about her. She didn’t turn up for work today and that’s not like her. When did you see her last?’
‘Work? I don’t even know what she does. Where do you work?’
‘’The council. We’re both on the planning side. We’ve worked together for years and I don’t think she’s ever missed a day!’
‘No. I hear her go out every day. I assumed she was shift worker from when she goes out and gets back. Not my business though.’
‘And this morning?’
‘This morning was early. She woke me up. Nothing you can do — these halls echo, I suppose. I heard her door go. It was before six.’
‘So you generally hear her when she leaves?’
‘I do.’
‘And when she comes back?’
‘I guess so. It’s not like I’m listening out for her — she’s a grown woman and none of my busin—’
‘I’m not suggesting you do! And even if you were, it’s good to have someone listening out for you. I wish I had that in my place.’
‘Is she in some sort of trouble?’
‘No. At least I certainly hope not!’ Maddie tried a chuckle; she knew it would sound forced. ‘What time did she come back?’
‘I didn’t hear her come back. I assumed she went out to work. She does do that sometimes. She’ll have an early start.’
‘You’re sure? Did you go back to sleep?’
‘I don’t sleep very well, lightly at the best of times, but once I get woken up that tends to be me. This morning I started breakfast shortly after I heard her leave. I had the news on low but I can still hear what goes on. I can tell you, she never came back.’
HE WILL FIND YOU an absolutely gripping crime thriller with a massive twist Page 23
