by Heidi Swain
‘I’ve learned to duck,’ I told him, setting the coffee down at the table.
‘I take it Dolly isn’t here?’ he said as I set out two cups.
‘No, she left early for town,’ I sighed. ‘There’s lots happening here today.’
‘You’re not wrong,’ he tutted. ‘My stupid satnav took me around the market square and it was full of shouting yokels, dragging trees and bundles of holly about. The place was heaving. It really is a little bit country around here, isn’t it?’
‘That’s because it is the country.’
He gave me a look, but didn’t answer back.
‘It’s the day of the Christmas tree auction,’ I explained, trying to curb my annoyance. ‘It’s a charity fundraising event and Dolly is helping out.’
‘She’s certainly a fan of the season, isn’t she?’ he said, looking about him, ‘and that tat on the front lawn—’
I flinched again.
‘Don’t you like the decorations?’ I interrupted. ‘I helped her put them up.’
‘You?’ Jonathan burst out laughing. ‘My tasteful Hattie was responsible for this tacky tinsel fest.’
I poured the coffee into the cups before I succumbed to the urge to pour it over his head. No wonder Dolly and Beamish had been so affronted by some of my comments when I first arrived in town. I had moaned about both the cottage and the decorations and now, hearing my own words echoed back to me, I could appreciate exactly how rude I had been.
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I was. I rather like it all actually.’
‘Good god,’ Jonathan spluttered. ‘I knew this so-called holiday was going to be a disaster.’
‘And you still think that, do you?’ I asked peevishly.
I really wanted to feel pleased to see him, but he just kept rubbing me up the wrong way. My brief time back in Wynbridge had peeled off some of the pretentious layers which matched me to my other half and it was going to take me a little while to reattach them.
‘Oh, come on, Hattie,’ Jonathan laughed. ‘You only have to look in the mirror. Staying here with Dolly was one thing, but getting roped into working at the school well, that’s clearly taken it out of you. This is exactly the reason why I don’t want us to have kids. If you look like this after a few days of looking after other people’s, can you imagine the state you’d be in if we had our own?’
‘I see.’
‘You can understand why I want it to always be just the two of us, can’t you?’ He said, reaching for my hand and stroking the back of it. ‘Hattie and Jonathan against the world, that’s always been the plan, hasn’t it?’
Had it? I knew it had been his, but had it really been mine too? Looking at him, sitting there, in his expensive clothes and with his manicured hands and groomed hair, I wondered if I had simply been caught up first with the hotel changes and then in his world which matched them. Had I just gone along with his so-called plan because I had been so in awe of him?
I had been both astounded and flattered when he kept pestering me, of all people, for a date and I couldn’t believe my luck when the relationship turned serious. For a long time, I had thought someone like him was out of my league, now for the briefest moment, I wished he had been. But of course, had he not arrived out of the blue, I wouldn’t be feeling this way. If I had been able to prepare to pick up the threads of my life with him, I would have had my mindset as well as my messy hair back under control in plenty of time.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘That’s always been the plan.’
I turned my hand over and grasped his.
‘But you still haven’t said what you’re doing here,’ I prompted, ignoring the fact that there was no tingle.
I couldn’t help remembering that when he had come to the cottage after our big bust-up and begged me to forgive him and move in with him, he had vowed he’d never visit the place again and yet here he was. I had assumed he hadn’t wanted me to visit Dolly again because of the bad memories he associated with my last trip here, but I must have been wrong.
‘Everything at work is all right, isn’t it?’ I asked.
‘Couldn’t be better,’ he grinned, letting go of my hand and picking up his coffee. ‘I got through a tonne of work in the last few days and decided to come back early. I’ve missed you so much and since you said about working in school, I have to admit I’ve been worried about you. It must be tiring, Hattie.’
‘It is,’ I admitted, ‘but it’s also great fun.’
‘I’m sure you think it is,’ he said, ‘but at this rate you’ll need a holiday to get over your holiday and I need you ready for this move. There are going to be lots of people for you to meet when we get out there and there’ll be parties to host and to go to.’
‘I’m certain I’ll be able to manage,’ I said, giving him a genuine smile as my stomach bubbled with the first flicker of excitement at the thought.
Jonathan’s ‘just the two of us’ ethos had often meant we were on our own but clearly that was all set to change and I rather liked the thought of making connections with other folk as soon as we moved. They might even become a circle of friends who could help me in my quest to find another job.
‘That’s all right then,’ he smiled back, ‘and as I’m here in the UK again now, I thought you might as well come back to the flat with me. Take some proper time out to get over this so-called holiday before the move.’
‘What?’
‘I want you to leave with me, Hattie. Today.’
I put my cup down and stared back at him. For a second, I thought he was joking, but he sounded deadly serious and there was no smile on his lips now.
‘We’ve still got to decide what we want to ship out with us,’ he added when I didn’t say anything, ‘I need you at home and you did say you’d try and cut your visit short.’
I didn’t much want to be reminded of that.
‘But Dolly and I have things planned for next week,’ I told him, thinking of the Wish List and Dolly’s last few days in school. ‘We still have things we want to do.’
‘I’ll speak to Dolly,’ he said.
I really didn’t appreciate his assumption that his pronouncement was a fait accompli.
‘No,’ I snapped.
‘But—’
‘No, Jonathan.’ I snapped again. ‘Look, I’m delighted to see you and everything but I really don’t like you just breezing in here and thinking you can take over. I’m quite capable of organising these last few weeks for myself, thank you very much and I know exactly how I want to spend them.’
‘But I just thought—’
‘I’m not sure you thought at all.’
Jonathan looked a little stunned, as well he might, he wasn’t used to me standing up to him quite so forcefully. I was a little surprised myself. Not all that long ago I would have gone along with what he wanted, convinced myself that I wanted it too, but not now. I had no intention of putting up with him waltzing in and bossing me about. Was this Jonathan’s arrogant alter ego who had rocked up, the one we had banished, or was this how he always spoke to me? Either way, I wasn’t going to put up with it.
‘Look,’ I said, trying to moderate my tone so as not to shock him further. ‘I can appreciate that you want to get ready for the move and it really means a lot that you’ve been so worried about me.’
‘It’s only because I care,’ he muttered, sounding a little sulky, ‘because I love you so damn much.’
I was half expecting him to remind me that, given the mess I’d made with the Christmas card, I wasn’t actually all that capable of organising anything, but thankfully he didn’t.
‘I know it is,’ I nodded. ‘And I love you,’ I told him, ‘but I’m not ready to leave yet. Dolly retires next week and I’m going to be here for her, OK?’
Jonathan didn’t comment.
‘I’m not going to miss that, Jonathan. It’s the whole reason why I’m here.’
Still nothing.
‘How about we check into a hotel?’ I tried. ‘How about we
go to a nice hotel in Peterborough for the weekend and make the most of the next couple of days.’
‘I suppose we could,’ he shrugged, looking about him. ‘Anything would be better than staying here.’
I bit my lip and nodded.
‘It would be cramped in here with the three of us,’ I said tightly.
Four if Beamish turned up. Even just the thought of Beamish turning up made my stomach roll again, but not in a good way. I hoped there were enough trees in town to keep him occupied until his rugby match. The last thing I needed was him and Jonathan running into each other. Then I really would have some explaining to do.
‘I’ll get changed and grab a few things,’ I said quickly. ‘Then I’ll go and tell Dolly what’s happening and we can leave right away.’
Jonathan pulled his phone out of his pocket.
‘I’ll see if I can get us a room somewhere,’ he said, still sounding a little sulky.
‘You won’t get a signal in here,’ I reminded him, ‘best wait until we’re on our way.’
He threw his phone down on the table and huffed.
‘I really don’t understand what you see in this place,’ he scowled. ‘I just don’t get it at all.’
Chapter 18
‘Here you are, at last,’ said Dolly, as soon as she caught sight of me. ‘I’d all but given up on you. Did you get waylaid? I hope Beamish hasn’t been making a nuisance of himself with the mistletoe.’
I wished she wouldn’t keep mentioning Beamish and mistletoe in the same sentence.
‘Is it busy out there?’ she asked, tossing me a snowman patterned apron.
The town was busy and full of music and laughter. As I had rushed through the market square it had looked every bit as Hallmark Christmas Channel perfect as I had imagined it would, but I hadn’t had the chance to take it all in or linger around the auction which I could hear was well underway.
Dolly looked up at me and took in my expression.
‘What on earth’s the matter?’ she demanded, when I made no attempt to answer her questions or put the apron on. ‘Are you all right? You look as though you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘It’s Jonathan,’ I said huskily.
‘What about him?’ she asked as she lined up more cups and saucers.
I cleared my throat.
‘He’s here, in Wynbridge. He turned up on your doorstep just as I was about to come and find you.’
I supposed I should have been grateful that I had still been at the cottage. I could only imagine how much he would have hated having to try and find me amongst the throng of yokels he so clearly had no time for.
‘Well, I never,’ gasped Dolly. ‘Out of everything you could have said, Hattie, that was the last thing I expected.’
‘Snap,’ I readily agreed.
‘Is he coming in?’ she asked, looking over my shoulder. ‘He’ll have a job to park. I hope you gave him the good coffee.’
Evidently, Jonathan’s recent charm offensive had worked wonders on my friend and her attitude towards him had undergone a total transformation. When I had arrived on her doorstep a year and half ago, desperate and distraught, she had been justifiably furious with him, then guarded and suspicious when I moved into the flat but now, thanks to a fancy hamper and an appropriate reaction to my faux pas with a Christmas card, she was insisting he drank ‘the good coffee’. I couldn’t help thinking she would have given him a far warmer welcome than I had, had she been the one to open the cottage door. It was just as well she would never know what he had said about her lovely cottage and the town.
‘No,’ I told her, ‘he’s not coming in. Not today.’
‘Are you sure you’re all right?’ she asked again as I handed back the apron.
‘I think I’m just in shock,’ I admitted, ‘he really was the last person I was expecting to see.’
‘I can imagine,’ she laughed. ‘He didn’t happen to go down on bended knee when you opened the door, did he?’
‘No,’ I swallowed. ‘Of course not.’
‘Is he planning to stay long?’
‘No,’ I wasn’t going to mention how he thought he could just breeze in and whisk me away. ‘Just for the weekend.’
‘In that case,’ she mused, as she added milk to the cups, ‘you’ll have to nip round to the butcher. I don’t think I’ll be able to stretch the dinner to three. Go and see what Frank’s got left and stick that chicken in the freezer, would you, Hattie dear?’
‘There’s no need,’ I said, wishing there was an easier way to break it to her. ‘We won’t need dinner. We’re going to a hotel.’
‘A hotel?’
‘In Peterborough most likely,’ I said. ‘But I’ll definitely be back in time for school on Monday.’
‘But what about today?’ she said sadly. ‘You’re going to miss out on all the fun.’
‘I know,’ I said, stepping aside to let more people through, ‘but I think Jonathan wants . . .’
She clapped her hands together and gasped; all trace of disappointment banished.
‘Of course,’ she grinned. ‘Say no more. He wants some proper time for just the two of you, I understand. He’s going to . . . oh Hattie. I hope you’ve packed something lovely to wear.’
‘You know I didn’t think of that,’ I told her.
‘How could you not?’ she scolded. ‘It’s obvious, isn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘yes I suppose it is now you’ve pointed it out. I better go,’ I added, feeling a little numb, ‘before he gets a parking ticket.’
‘All right,’ she said, happily waving me off. ‘I’ll see you Monday morning. Have a lovely time!’
I rushed back to the side road where Jonathan had parked feeling a little dazed and wondering if the next time I saw the market square I was going to be engaged.
‘You’re very quiet,’ Jonathan commented as we joined the steady flow of main road traffic heading towards Peterborough. ‘Did Dolly give you a hard time?’
‘No,’ I said, ‘of course she didn’t. She was sorry to have missed you though. You will pop in and say hello when you drop me off, won’t you?’
‘Of course,’ he said, smoothly changing up a gear. ‘Besides, if you change your mind about coming back with me, I’ll have to come in to help you with your things, won’t I?’
‘I’m not going to change my mind,’ I snapped.
‘I’m only joking,’ he laughed, cutting me off before I launched. ‘It was a joke.’
I took a sideways look at him. The tense set of his jaw suggested that it wasn’t. I turned to look out of the window at the flat and far-reaching landscape. I really didn’t want to argue. If only he would just lay off the silly comments long enough for me to fall back into step with him then everything would be fine.
We’d got on like a house on fire all the time we were messaging and Skyping so I couldn’t understand why things between us felt so tense now we were face to face. Perhaps Dolly’s assumption was right, maybe he was gearing up to propose and his nerves were getting the better of him. Not that Jonathan was usually prone to nerves but a proposal of marriage was quite a big thing.
‘It’s a godforsaken place, isn’t it?’ he said, following my gaze.
‘You wouldn’t say that if you’d seen the sunsets.’
‘Well,’ he said, ‘whatever. Look, we’ll be there in a bit. Do you want to fix your hair or something? While you were talking to Dolly, I managed to book us into somewhere really rather special and you might not want to turn up looking like that.’
I reached into the footwell for my bag and began going through the motions. It was hard work trying to keep my mouth shut but I knew it would be for the best in the long run. Apparently, my brief time under Dolly’s roof and my banter with Beamish had brought out a feisty spark in my personality but I was going to have to tone it down a little if I wanted my relationship with Jonathan to steer a steady course on settled seas again.
‘Not that you don’t look lovely as you are,’ Jona
than carried on, ‘but, well, you’ll see when we get there.’
Annoyingly, he was right. I wouldn’t have wanted to turn up at the seventeenth-century luxury spa hotel looking windswept from Wynbridge. The grand exterior was imposing and dominated the landscaped grounds, and inside five-star indulgence awaited me.
‘An entire suite,’ I couldn’t help grinning as Jonathan checked us in.
‘And every spa treatment you can imagine,’ he smiled back. ‘I thought I’d start with a massage,’ he added, ‘to sort my spine and alignment after my collision with Dolly’s low beam.’
The rooms were heaven – a huge canopied bed, extensive views, an open fire and a bath which was easily big enough for two – and it soon became obvious that Jonathan had one thing on his mind once we’d taken it all in.
‘God I’ve missed you,’ he groaned, looking down at my naked body after quickly relieving me of my clothes.
I ran my hands over the muscles of his back and wrapped my legs tightly around him, then pulled him down and into me in one smooth movement. His body was toned to perfection and the weight and warmth of him as he began to move promised an exquisite few hours to come.
‘I’ve missed you too,’ I gasped as he covered his mouth with mine and began to move faster.
An afternoon spent with a lover as competent as Jonathan would leave anyone feeling satisfied, but I couldn’t help thinking, as I slipped out of the bed and went to run a bath, that there was something a little off. Some part of me that he hadn’t reached. Sexually I was sated, but there was something else, something I couldn’t put my finger on, but which left me feeling a little disconcerted nonetheless.
I crept back to where I’d dumped my bag and watched him sleeping. He was completely relaxed, his arm thrown across the bed and his chest rising and falling in long, deep breaths. He looked the same and physically he had felt the same, so perhaps it was me who was different not him. I quietly picked up my bag, pulled out my phone and went back to the bathroom.
There were missed calls and messages from a mobile I didn’t recognise and I wondered if it was Beamish. Perhaps Dolly had given him my number and he wanted to confirm our Sunday plans to visit the Winter Wonderland. Had I thought of it I would have asked her to cancel the date on my behalf. I didn’t dare check to see if my suspicions were right. Not with Jonathan asleep just metres away. Not that there was likely to be anything incriminating on my phone because I hadn’t done anything wrong, but I would hate him to wake up and think I had snuck off to the bathroom to check my messages out of sight. I quickly turned the phone off and tossed it back into my bag before lowering myself into the bubble-filled tub.
