Kilig the Sword

by Barbara G. Tarn

Kilig shook his head with a sigh.

  "I'm not surprised you still miss him after three years. It took me at least ten to numb the pain of Saif's abandon."

  "You remind me of Girish." Underwater, Sabre's hand touched his, but he moved it away.

  "I'm sorry, Sabre, if we'd met a few months ago, I could have probably given you a few hours of pleasure, but now I'm in a relationship and I cannot help you," he chided. As if Sabre didn't know he slept with Hakeem.

  Sabre smiled ruefully. "Kukri, huh? Saif's son. How lucky."

  "I'm sorry, Sabre," Kilig repeated, averting his eyes.

  "You deprived me of my revenge," Sabre said. "You owe me."

  "I was protecting my boyfriend and didn't even now you existed!" Kilig snapped.

  Sabre smiled. "You owe me. I'll settle for a kiss, since I can't force you into sex."

  Kilig saw Hakeem enter the room and rose.

  "Not today," he muttered, grabbing his towel.

  Sabre chuckled. "When you're sick of his jealousy..." he said in a low voice so that Hakeem wouldn't hear him.

  Kilig imagined the "you know where to find me" more than hearing the actual words as he walked to join Hakeem who had stopped at the door with a frown.

  "What did Sabre want?" Hakeem asked through clenched teeth.

  "Talk about Chakram," Kilig answered, putting on a caftan. "Apparently his brother unknowingly killed his first love. Are you having a bath or can I groom you in our room?"

  Hakeem glared at him. "You're changing the subject," he muttered.

  Then Sabre passed by them on his way to his room and flashed an impish smile at him.

  "Bastard!" he grumbled.

  "Do you want me to throw you into the pool with your clothes on?" Kilig teased.

  "No, I want you to throw me on the bed and rip off my clothes," Hakeem answered, hugging him.

  Kilig chuckled and squeezed him. "Fine, but only if you beat me to our room."

  Hakeem's smile dazzled him and he gladly arrived second to give his beloved what he wanted.

  ***

  "I apologize for killing your father, but I had no idea things were so different in Godwalkar," Sabre said.

  "Apology accepted," Sanjana answered gravely.

  Sabre bowed, glanced at Hakeem and left.

  He's so irritating, Hakeem thought. He'd been sitting in the Guild's courtyard with his childhood friend when the southern assassin had approached them with his apologies. Come and gone in moments.

  "Do you really forgive him?" Hakeem asked Sanjana, frowning.

  "Why not," she shrugged. "There was obviously a misunderstanding when we first met him."

  "So you think, like Guisarme, that he's good?" Hakeem protested.

  "Well, he proved different from the other southerners. I mean, yes, he killed my father, but he was obeying his Head's direct order, and then he joined our guild. I'm willing to give him another chance," she explained patiently.

  You're too rash, Kilig's voice said inside him. But he couldn't help it – the hostility towards Sabre was still there. Probably because he could see that Sabre was more a member than he was. Sabre talked to everyone, he basically stuck to Sanjana and Kilig. Sabre obeyed to Guisarme's orders, while sometimes he objected to them.

  There hadn't been any job for anyone since the Guilds' war, so Sabre was doing his best to fit in – which made Hakeem even grumpier and shyer than he normally was.

  "He handles the pole-arm so well, I'm going to ask him for some tips," Sanjana said. "Will you come with me?"

  "What? But why?" Hakeem protested.

  "To protect me like a good big brother should do when a girl talks to a member of the opposite sex?" she replied with an impish smile.

  Hakeem snorted, but followed her. They found Sabre in the armory, polishing his blades.

  "Can you teach me or is it forbidden?" Sanjana concluded her request.

  Sabre smiled. "In theory, Zindagi's teachings are only for the monks," he said.

  "Oh." Sanjana looked very disappointed, then realized he was smiling. "But?" she insisted, hopeful.

  Sabre's smile vanished and he lowered his eyes.

  "But I have already broken that rule," he said. "In Agharek there's no distinction between male and female students and my sister Rohini trained as an assassin, but she wasn't allowed into the monastery's school, so I passed on to her what I could."

  "Good!" Sanjana clapped her hands, excited. "So you can pretend I'm your sister, right?"

  "Sure." Sabre glanced at her with a half-smile.

  "What happened to your sister?" Hakeem asked bluntly. As usual, Sabre wasn't telling everything. But he did answer direct questions, so Hakeem waited for the answer.

  He saw Sabre gulp and avert his eyes.

  "Rohini is dead," the southerner said flatly. "She never earned her assassin's name. And that was another reason to want all the Assassins Guilds wiped away from the lands."

  "Why, what happened?" Sanjana asked, worried, while Hakeem wondered what the other reasons were.

  "She eloped with one of my classmates," Sabre said, staring into space. "My family found them in Akulina. The local Assassins' Guild led by my brother Pata took them back to Agharek, where both families stoned them."

  Sanjana gasped in shock, and Hakeem saw Sabre's eyes fill with tears.

  "I don't have a sister, so I adopted Sanjana," Hakeem blurted out, thinking how it would hurt to lose her. "You will treat her like a sister, or I will not let you teach her. Imagine she's Rohini..."

  "You don't need this speech," Sabre snapped. "I already agreed to teach Anelace, and I will not hurt her. I orphaned her and I feel I owe her. Besides, she doesn't need your protection, I'm a member of the family too now."

  "I asked Kukri to come with me," Sanjana said before Hakeem could react. "I asked him to be my big brother. I didn't know you lost a sister, and I hope you'll adopt me in her place."

  "Of course, Anelace." Sabre nodded. "Or do you want me to use your birth name?"

  "Anelace is fine." Sanjana glared at Hakeem who had used her birth name in public. He blushed and averted his eyes, keeping his mouth shut. He seemed to always do the wrong thing for some reason.

  "Do you want to start now?" Sabre asked, putting away his brass wheels.

  Hakeem found himself dismissed and utterly shaken. He'd managed to alienate Sanjana and bicker with Sabre in the space of a few moments. Did he really fit into the assassins' family or should he just quit and go live with Ramya instead? Losing Kilig in the process?

  He pursed his lip, sitting in the courtyard again. Now he wanted to cry. He missed his father and the cabin in the woods up north. But there was no going back. He had nothing to go back to. But living in a big town and making new friends was proving so hard...

  Someone sat near him, but he kept his eyes on the ground.

  "Hakeem." Kilig's husky voice made him shiver under the sun. He couldn't give up his acharya. And Kilig had said he'd follow him everywhere.

  Hakeem threw his arms around Kilig's neck and hid his face against him. "Oh, Kilig, let's move to Ramya's or I'll never be able to make up my mind!" he pleaded.

  "Of course, Hakeem," Kilig answered, squeezing him. "Let's go pack. We'll decide in our new room before it falls into disrepair again for lack of use – or Ramya decides to rent it to someone else."

  Hakeem smiled against his will and pulled back to look Kilig in the eyes.

  "I love you, Kilig," was all he could say, since he still had a lump in his throat.

  Kilig grinned, caressed his cheek and took his hand. "Let's go."

  Hakeem followed him, grateful for his beloved's prompt reply.

  ***

  The visitor demanded to speak to the Head of the Guild and since he had an escort, Guisarme made sure he left his men outside of her office but Kilig was by her side.

  The bald man was slightly older than Kilig and stared puzzled at them, since Guisarme was seated and Kilig stood next to her.

  "You let your
wife sit in your place?" the man asked Kilig, seemingly outraged.

  "Guisarme is the Head of the Guild," Kilig replied calmly. "And she's not my wife."

  "A woman is the Head of Godwalkar's Guild?" the man insisted, staring at Guisarme in obvious shock.

  She smiled pleasantly and showed off her pointed ear, making him gasp.

  "Who are you?" she asked, since he still hadn't introduced himself or his business.

  The man recovered from his shock and straightened himself.

  "I'm Nimcha, Head of the Assassins' Guild of Agharek," he announced proudly.

  Guisarme and Kilig exchanged a glance.

  "And what do you want?" she inquired.

  "My father's men told me of his demise at the hand of a couple of your men..."

  "That would be Kilig. And Kukri," Guisarme said.

  "So shouldn't Kilig be the Head of the Guild?" Nimcha asked, puzzled.

  "We had an election, and I was chosen," she explained. "Kilig, here, is my right arm."

  "Oh." The man's stare went back and forth between them. He obviously had problems grasping the concept.

  "So what do you want?" Guisarme repeated. "Avenge Khopesh's death? Start another Guilds' war?"

  "No... I was wondering what happened to my half-brother, Sabre."

  "He joined our Guild, like he told his father's men he'd do," Guisarme answered.

  "He did? He joined a Guild with a woman as a Head? I thought the Fighting Monks would teach him better!"

  Nimcha's haughtiness was getting on Kilig's nerves.

  "Shall I fetch Sabre?" he asked Guisarme who nodded.

  Kilig was glad to leave for some time – he knew Guisarme could handle a single man. He could understand now Sabre's hatred towards his elder brothers. This was much worse than his bickering with his own brother.

  He found Sabre in the canteen with Anelace and Katar and told him to come to the Head of the Guild's office. Sabre followed him, but stopped him in the corridor.

  "Can you give me a moment when we're done?" he asked.

  "If you want me to pay my so-called debt, now is not a good time," Kilig retorted.

  "Why not? Kukri doesn't come here anymore since you've moved out, so today would be perfect timing."

  "We'll see if you're still up for it after this meeting."

  Kilig let him into Guisarme's office. Sabre almost hissed like an angry cat when he saw Nimcha who smirked at the sight of him.

  Neither Kilig nor Guisarme understood the quick exchange between the two – either it was a southern dialect or Agharek's Guild had a secret language – but they didn't look friendly. Sabre clenched his teeth and lowered his eyes as Nimcha launched into some kind of lecture.

  "You might have asked to speak with Sabre, you didn't really need to meet me," Guisarme said, snorting.

  "It is always interesting to meet other Guilds," Nimcha replied. "I guess my little brother has what he deserves."

  Sabre spat out a word that sounded very much like an insult.

  "Are you leaving now or should I kick you out?" Guisarme asked impatiently.

  "I'm leaving," Nimcha answered. "I don't have enough men with me to start a war."

  "And remember how we defeated your father before going on the warpath," Guisarme warned. "This is Godwalkar. There are plenty of Genn healers and magic users."

  Nimcha left with a mock bow and a smirk. Kilig noticed Sabre had balled his fists and was struggling to keep control. He exchanged a glance with Guisarme and led the young man outside.

  "If you're in need of action, I'm ready for a wrestling match," Kilig said. "It might help."

  Sabre gritted his teeth, then looked at him.

  "I wanted to kill him," he whispered. "But I worship Zindagi and I will always protect life."

  "You're a good young man," Kilig said. "You should be proud to be the black sheep in your family."

  "And I am proud," Sabre replied. "Do you know what I need right now, though?"

  "Give vent to your anger," Kilig said. "I can take it."

  Sabre slowly shook his head. His fists opened. He grabbed Kilig's face and gave him a long kiss. Kilig stiffened and didn't move.

  Sabre pulled away, his lips still wet, and mouthed "Thank you." Then he let go of Kilig's face and rushed upstairs to his room.

  Kilig exhaled as his heart slowed down. He'd been aware of Sabre's desire for some time now and hoped the young man would be content with that kiss.

  Then he remembered to look around, in case there were witnesses who could report to Hakeem, but nobody seemed to be there.

  Kilig sighed with relief. Hakeem was calmer now that they'd moved out of the Guild's building, but if he ever discovered Sabre had kissed him...

  The next day Sabre knocked on Guisarme's office door while she and Kilig were busy with administrative matters. Kilig wasn't expecting so much paperwork in running a guild, but since it kept him out of the action, he was fine with it. The others could do the dirty work, he didn't mind a quieter life.

  "I wanted to apologize for yesterday," Sabre said. "For my brother's intrusion and... the rest." He glanced at Kilig who almost winced at the mention of the kiss.

  "It's all right," Guisarme answered. "Are you calmer now?"

  "Yes. And I've come to the conclusion that revenge is a bad thing," Sabre said. "It turns you into a hateful, sour person, and I want to live at peace with the world."

  "Good. I'm glad you're with us," Guisarme said, putting Talwar's seal on a letter. "Will you be my errand boy today?" She asked, handing the folded, sealed parchment to Sabre.

  "Sure," he said, taking it. "Where should I..." His eyes widened as he stared at the seal on black wax. "Why does the Assassins' Guild have the seal of Zindagi?" he asked, puzzled.

  "Talwar passed on his signet ring," Guisarme explained. "I never knew what it meant, but I know he worshiped Zindagi."

  "Oh. I see." Sabre looked at them. "So that's where he put it. He took it off his pole-arm and used it as a signet ring. May I see it?"

  Guisarme gave him Talwar's ring that was too big for her fingers. Sabre looked closely at it and Kilig thought the seal could actually fit the base of a pole-arm.

  Sabre gave it back with a sigh.

  "So that's what my father was looking for," he said, thoughtful.

  "What do you mean?" Kilig wondered.

  "My father was marked by Talwar with Zindagi's seal. So he sent me to the Fighting Monks school to learn its secret. Except only the abbot knows the full spell, the monks only learn to activate it."

  "And what does the spell do?" Guisarme asked, puzzled.

  "May I?" Sabre retrieved the signet ring. The seal was darkened by time and the black wax the Guild used. "Tum zinda ho," Sabre whispered. The seal started emitting a green light. Sabre applied it to the wood of the desk and it fizzled, leaving a burning mark. "It works on the skin too, and it isn't lethal."

  "Why did your father want it?" Kilig asked, nonplussed.

  "I don't know." Sabre shrugged, giving back the signet ring with the green light fading out. "Revenge, I think. He was obsessed with revenge. And that's why I decided I've had enough of that word and that state of mind. His and Shamsher's obsession with revenge ruined my life."

  "I'm glad you decided to forget revenge," Guisarme said, serious.

  Sabre bowed with a half-smile. "So, who should I take this to?" he asked, showing the letter.

  When he was gone, Guisarme took Talwar's ring to watch it more closely. She touched the burned wood and looked at Kilig, raising her eyebrows.

  "What do you think?" she asked.

  "I don't know, the founder of this Guild was a stranger to me," Kilig answered, shaking his head. "And I was never curious, so Saif told me only the basics."

  She chuckled. "And forgot to mention Abhaya was Talwar's son!" She put down the ring and sighed. "Ah, well, Talwar and Khopesh are both dead now... I guess we'll never know what happened between them!"

  ***

  The rain tic
ked on the roof as Hakeem watched Kilig sleep. A pearly light came in from the window but for once Hakeem had woken up before Kilig. Either a distant sound of thunder or an already forgotten nightmare had stolen his sleep.

  Hakeem's fingers lightly brushed Kilig's face and shoulder as he recalled the previous night's lovemaking. Now that they'd moved out of the Assassins' Guild's building, he felt much calmer. Sanjana visited him every other day, but he didn't have to see the others – well, mostly Guisarme and Sabre.

  Ramya was passing her shop to him and he got along with the neighbors and all the other inhabitants of the street. Flashes of his childhood sometimes showed him his mother and for the first time in his life, he felt part of a community.

  If only Kilig stopped going to the Assassins' Guild and stayed with him all day... but then he'd have to call him Karuna and his beloved preferred his assassin's name.

  Kilig stirred and awoke as the rain increased, drumming the tiles.

  "Hakeem, are you all right?" Kilig asked, a little worried.

  "Yes." Hakeem slowly smiled. "I like watching you sleep."

  "Usually it's me watching you," Kilig said, taking him in his arms.

  "It was a nice change, then." Hakeem nestled against his beloved as the thunderstorm hit. He shivered as Kilig held him tighter, kissing his hair.

  "It's dripping inside," Kilig said when the thunderstorm slowly started to move away. "I guess we'll have to call Rahul and Winged Stephen to repair the roof once again. I'm not surprised this room was in such disrepair when we first came here. Maybe we should find a way to stick those tiles so they don't move!"

  "That's your cousin's job, unless you want to learn a new trade?" Hakeem replied, hopeful.

  "I'm afraid I'm too old for that," Kilig answered with a smile. "Besides, I do only administrative work for the Guild, now, nothing dangerous."

  "Who is your best man or woman at the moment?" Hakeem asked.

  Kilig winced and averted his eyes. "Sabre."

  "He's good, he almost killed you." Hakeem sighed.

  "He's given up on revenge," Kilig said. "You have nothing to worry about."

  "And has he stopped lusting for you?" Hakeem flashed an impish smile at Kilig. "You belong to me, so don't you dare allow him to have his way!"

  Kilig chuckled and squeezed him.