by Lynn Landes
“Reeena, your mother tasted so delicious. I should have drained her dry when I had the chance…REEENA!!!!” he screamed over, and over again. She would rock herself, covering her ears, singing songs from her village, anything to drown out the vile sound of his voice.
“Shut up, demon! Shut up!” she would cry and pray for deliverance.
It was apparent that Tieran could not keep the promise to protect her. He could not protect her from the Fallen without giving them all away. She endured because she had no choice. Guards were changed often, and the ones who came abused Raphaim by dragging out his torture. The torment created a sense of terror in Varena that they enjoyed. When they were through with him, they came to her. She was raped, beaten, starved, and more. Her punishment was nothing compared to what Raphaim endured. The Mocker would come and Raphaim always could predict it.
“Are you ready, Watcher? He comes now,” he would say tauntingly laughing. Each time Samiel came he would ask her the same question.
“Are you broken yet, Watcher? Will you join me, Varena and let me end your torment?” her answer always enraged him.
“I feel sorry for you Mocker. What is seen is only temporary. What waits for me is eternal. Leave me be!” Raging, he would light the cell and make her watch Raphaim’s punishment. After it was over Raphaim would lie on the ground and whisper to her “Where is your protector now, Watcher?”
Slipping quietly down the stairs and out the back door, Varena tries to slow her breathing and think dark thoughts. What will happen if they know it’s growing inside of her, stronger every day? Will they come for her when the sun sets and she can conceal it no longer? She knows better than most what will happen then. It will not matter that she is the daughter of the Queen; it did not matter for her mother. The screaming still rings in her ears and heart.
She sees the way they look at her, watching and wondering will she betray them as her mother did. Shaking herself, she tries to focus. She must get there quickly and quietly before it is too late to reach her sanctuary.
It is starting to burn; the pressure in her chest is growing. She is at a full run now, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her only thought is to find him. He is waiting, as all shadows do. He is drawn to her by the beauty in her soul. He sees the light that is growing; his only thought is to protect her. Bursting from the cover of his cave, he spreads his scaly wings and cocoons her into his welcoming embrace.
The blast hits him full force, but he does not waiver. The burning is stronger this time, but no light escapes. He knows what will happen if he fails her. He cannot lose her. She is the key to his redemption.
Varena wakes with a start and shakes off the dream as she hears him whisper to her “Reena, he’s coming again.”
Jumping up in dread, Rena tries to back away from Raphaim. As she looks at him she feels pity for him; he is nothing like the beautiful angel he once was. He is broken. Looking at him, she thinks: he is a reflection of who I will become if I give up hope.
“Father; forgive my doubt, strengthen me so I can endure,” she whispers looking at him.
Entering her cell, Tieran smiles hugely and opens his arms to her. With joy and relief Varena runs to him, lifted into his heavenly embrace. Squeezing her he tells her “I have missed you. I brought food and water.” She takes the tray he offers, gratefully and sits with her back to Raphaim. She always feels guilty taking the food and water Tieran offers, knowing Raphaim will not be shown the same kindness.
“Why are you here, Tieran, I thought it wasn’t safe?” she asks biting the red apple savoring the juice as it fills her mouth. Moaning in pleasure, she drinks some water not sure how long it will be before she will be given more.
Raphaim watches as he paces on the other side of the wall. He knows what she does not. He can smell the trap. The question is, will she, and why does he care? Trying not to give anything away, he watches quietly from his cell, distracted by the smell of the food. His mouth salivates, as he watches her drink the life giving water and wishes he could break through the barrier.
Tieran leans forward slowly and licks the juice from her lips. Rena freezes, afraid to move. He had never crossed the line with her, preferring more to be with her than to use her. Unsure what to think, she begins to tremble as his hands ball up in her hair to pull her closer to his body.
“Let me cherish you, Varena. I can provide all your needs,” he says as he sucks her lower lip between his teeth. With a wave of his hand her skin and hair is washed clean. Her ratty clothes are replaced with a beautiful silk dress. A bed appears with fresh linens and the room is lit with a chandelier and candles. Shaking, Varena allows him pull her to her feet.
“I don’t understand, Tieran. What’s happening?” Looking around the room at the decadence he offers, she realizes it is all an illusion because standing with his hands on the wall behind Tieran is the demon Raphaim. He is beating his fists on the wall, screaming at her, but she does not hear him. Tugging her towards him, Tieran lifts her chin with his finger and leans close to taste her mouth once more, when she asks, “Why now? Have you come to free me after all?”
“No more questions, Watcher. I will have you!” He jerks her close and she knows she is in trouble.
“Release me, Mocker! I will never be yours!” she screams and begins to struggle. Tieran laughs and throws her on the bed. With Raphaim watching, he punches her in the jaw and knocks her senseless. Blood shatters the beauty of the room, splattering across the purity of the white comforter. With hopeless eyes, she looks at Raphaim.
“I offer you refuge, daughter of I Am. Find peace here,” he whispers to her and offers what he can. Taking her mind, he shields her from the abuse in the only way left to him.
“This is your last chance,” Tieran stands and shifts back to the Mocker form. Wiping his body off with what’s left of her dress he demands “provide me with the heir I require or you will be given to the Fallen. Why don’t you keep these as a reminder of who rules here, Daughter of the King,” he says mockingly and drops something at her side. With a wave of his hand the room is returned to its barren cell once more and she is on the floor, naked, beaten and bloody once more. Resting beside her on the ground is a pair of beautiful snow white wings, splattered with blood.
“Nooo, Nooo, NOOOO!” she screams clutching the broken, bloody wings to her chest. The cell lights on the other side and Raphaim waits. He knows he can’t protect himself against what is coming.
“Some things never change, do they, Father?” Raphaim sneers at him as he enters his cell. “What do you want from me now? I have nothing left to give,” he asks warily watching him approach.
“Now, play nice son, I brought you a gift.” Entering the cell behind the Mocker is the fallen angel Tieran. Beaten and tortured, he is shoved into the center of the room. Collapsing on the ground at Raphaim’s feet, he sees the burned stumps where Tierans wings once were. The scent of the blood fills the cell, and Raphaim’s heart begins to beat with anticipation.
“Why?” he asks his father, never taking his eyes off the bleeding angel. Tieran looks at the wall and sees Rena on the other side. She is holding his wings, and looking at him in horror. Running to the wall she reaches for her power but finds he has blocked her.
“NOOOO, let me help you!!!!” she screams beating against the wall. Sliding down the wall, she weeps, begging for help. Struggling to reach her, Tieran crawls on his hands and knees to the wall, and places one hand against hers.
“Peace, sister, I am finally free. Let me go,” she hears him says in her heart. Looking into his eyes, her sobs slow.
Nodding she whispers a prayer. “God, please forgive him, take him home,” she whispers.
Raphaim watches, he knows this will enrage his father and he’s glad of the knowledge. “I want no part of this. Get him out of here!”
The Mocker grabs Tieran by his blonde hair, and pulls him away from the wall. Varena turns away unable to watch, and curls into a ball.
“You win, Mocker, I am b
roken, I am broken,” she weeps rocking on the floor.
“You are a pathetic excuse for a son.” Tossing the angel on the floor at his feet he walks away. “You are evolving, yet you turn away a chance at that power. I thought you were stronger than that. Let’s see how tough you are. You deserve each other” Samiel says and he leaves.
Tieran struggles to stay upright as he crawls back to the wall, leaving a trail of blood behind him. Raphaim struggles with the smell of the blood, so strong he can taste the metallic nectar with each breath he takes. Shaking, he turns away, intending to wait it out.
“Son of the Mocker, Free me!” Tieran begs. “You have the power to save me. Take what I freely offer you and send me home.”
Turning quickly towards the angel, he knows he is too weak to resist. “I need…” Raphaim says dropping to his knees beside Tieran.
“It’s okay; help me look at her one last time, Raphaim,” he asks as he struggles to rise against the wall. “She shines like the stars in heaven when she smiles. Did you know that?” he asks with a single tear sliding down his cheek.
Raphaim sits him up, supporting his weight and calls her “Varena, come to him, he needs you.”
She uncurls quickly and rushes to the wall. Watching the unlikely pair, she smiles. “Tieran,” she says like a whispered prayer. Wiping her tears away, she struggles to cover herself with the rags he left her.
“Varena, promise me you will not hold bitterness in your heart” Tieran begs struggling to breath, he takes a shallow breath. “I want you to have a heart that forgives. Find his peace and you find a refuge that no one can breach.”
“Give him peace, Varena,” Raphaim tells her in her mind.
“Tieran, I will try to have a heart that forgives. Go in peace.” His hand slides down and the wall goes dark. Screaming in her mind, she feels the moment he ceases to exist. It is the exact moment her heart breaks in two.
Six
Raphaim clutches the dying angel in his arms and sinks his teeth deeply into his neck. The holy blood fills his starving organs and reforms him from the inside out. Taking every drop, he is startled when the angel explodes into stardust, showering down over Varena and himself with its essence. Illuminated from this gift, they look at each other and Rena finds her wounds healed and clothing mended.
Raphaim did not count on the images of heaven and hell filling his mind. As he clutches his head in his hands, he hears the music of heaven and the heavenly Father. Looking up he sees Varena, smiling and knows true joy for a moment. “She really does glow when she smiles” he thinks.
“Thank you, Raphaim,” she says, watching him with her hazel eyes. The pain that was a constant companion dulls. He stands fully formed once more. Gone is the charred, hairless demon. In its place stands a beautiful, muscular angel, with long black hair and midnight blue wings. His body has returned to its previous glory, no longer reddened by the holy fire, but porcelain and untouched. He blinks and holds his black eyes closed for a moment, thankful for the blessed relief. Tears run down his cheek as if to signal his thankfulness for the gift he has been given. Stepping close to the barrier separating him from Varena, catching his reflection, he spreads his lush wings behind him, enjoying the feeling. He smiles and flaps his wings, laughing out loud.
Varena watches him, unsure what she is seeing. She remembers how he looked before the attack in the village, but the demon she has been living with for years still haunts her. Smiling at his obvious joy, she waits, wondering how this is happening. Tieran gave his life for a demon? How does any of this make sense? Stepping closer to the wall, she squints up at him, looking for a change in his soul.
“It is not possible to change the circumstances of my birth, Varena. I would not even if I could” his deep rich voice tells her.
“I know that, Raphaim. I am tired of existing. I want to be free. Can you get us out of here?” she asks looking up at him.
Touching the barrier of the wall, he tries to push his hand through and, to his surprise, feels it begin to give way. Jumping back away from his hand, she watches in awe as he is able to move his fingers. A noise outside has them both jumping back. Raphaim dims the wall, no longer needing its light to see. Varena backs up as two females enter her cell.
“We were told to provide you with food and water. In a few days you will be checked for signs of pregnancy.” The other woman leaves a pile of clothing and shoes, avoiding eye contact with Rena. Hand to her stomach, Rena feels sick. She can’t be pregnant, it had not happened before now. It was assumed she was infertile. Many of the women from her village could not carry to full term, or died during the pregnancies.
“No!” she screams out in horror, unaware that the women are gone. With her hand to her stomach, she stands in shock and jumps at the sound of his voice.
“He returns, Varena. No matter what happens, do not try to interfere. Something has changed.” Not sure how long the blood of the angel will reform him; he is not prepared for what happens next. Enraged his father blows though the wall followed by four of the Fallen.
“Your Keeper has killed your brother Asa!” he says attacking Raphaim with a long, electrified rod. The power of it sends hot searing pain through his body, dropping him to his knees.
Breathing hard, Raphaim tries to placate him, “She is not my Keeper, father. Release me and I will bring her to you!” he begs only to be laughed at.
Beyond reasoning, Samiel stabs him once more with the rod raging, “She would already be mine if it weren’t for your arrogance!”
“I am sorry Father, how many times must I say it!” he screams, hoping to keep his attention away from Varena. His pleas only seem to fuel his anger.
Turning away from Raphaim, he lays a hand on the wall, lighting the prison chamber completely causing it to glow amber. He can see through the transparent walls and what he sees stops his heart. His cell is surrounded by watching eyes. The Fallen have come to witness what will happen to them if they betray their king. His own brothers, standing among the fallen, watch and show no compassion. Varena cowers against the far wall, trying not to be seen.
Standing in the cell with Raphaim, his father begins to speak, "Brothers, once I lived and breathed to please our creator. I was a mindless drone who never questioned my orders. I watched his human pets become more important to him than his legion of angels and I questioned why? Why do we slave for a dictator who does not care for us? Are we not capable of thinking for ourselves? So I made a choice, and I paid the price. I, too, begged and pleaded for forgiveness; hoping for a shred of compassion and understanding. After all, he is a forgiving God, but he gave me none. We were treated like the vermin who live in the shadows of this planet, and now I am glad for it. I am more powerful now than ever, and I promised those who followed that we would be free again!” The roar of approval is deafening. Raising a hand, he gestures to his prisoner, "Today I show you the one who betrayed us all! He chose his own vanity and pleasures over the greater good! I do this so you do not forget the consequence of that choice. Follow me and we shall rule together, free and no longer at his mercy!"
Raphaim struggles to stand on his weak limbs and faces his father as he says, "I shall show you the same mercy I was shown for my free choice, and you shall thank me for it one day!" With a snap of his fingers, four fallen angels enter his cell. With a sneer of disgust, two of them seize his arms and legs while the other two stretch out his fully feathered wings. Pulling a sword his father severs them from his body.
Raphaim does not scream, for he no longer cares if he lives or dies. His eyes never blink nor waiver from his father's. Somewhere deep inside hope, he hears a question whispered "Are you Shadow or Light?"
In a tortured voice Raphaim whispers, "I am Shadow."
“I am Shadow!” he says louder and bolder. Blinking in shock his father steps to the wall, slapping his hand quickly on the surface returning them to darkness.
“Shut up!" enraged that Raphaim would hear from the Maker, he strikes him.
&nbs
p; With a roar of rage, Raphaim roars "I Am Shadow!!" as his father leaves the chamber with the fallen angels close behind. He screams alone once more in complete darkness, “I AM SHADOW!” he says to no one.
Varena watches all of this with tears running down her face. She sees the fate of the child she might be carrying and knows she can’t let it happen. How is it possible that she feels compassion for the demon that destroyed her world? In her heart she hears the answer, Tierans voice saying “Have a heart that forgives, Rena.” Holding one hand over her heart, she moves to the wall, calling out to him.
“Come to me, son of the Mocker, Let me ease your pain,” she calls to him. She sends a tiny pulse of power lighting the barrier partially. What she sees burns her soul. He is leaning against the wall, the mask of his beauty gone once more. A wingless, shriveled demon with no hope left looks at her with empty eyes.
“Raphaim,” she pleads on her knees, “Come to me. Let me be your refuge. You are not alone anymore.”
“I Am Shadow,” he moans as he crawls towards her and he reaches with the last of his strength through the wall. Taking her small hand in his own, he pulls her wrist to his mouth pausing a moment to look into her eyes he waits.
“I know. Take what I offer, Shadow,” she tells him. Not wanting to hurt her, he takes his time. The moment his hot tongue flicks her wrist, her body reacts. Startled, she looks at him and finds her gaze trapped by his own. As his teeth sink into her flesh, she moans, feeling the pull of his mouth on her. She sweats as she leans on the wall and finds her body pulled through, now cradled in his strong arms. Reforming from the strength of her blood, he takes what he needs, savoring the feel of her in his arms. He smells her desire, the way her body reacts to him. Hears her heartbeat begin to slow and releases her wrist. Flicking his tongue out he cleans the blood off her wrist and sends her to sleep.
