It was all he could do to keep from kissing her, but he had to hold back. “Don’t tease me.”
The sliding glass door opened and Maya peeked out. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“No, you’re not interrupting,” Cassidy said. “We were just getting some air.”
“Oh, okay. I was going to serve your pies. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay. I’ll be right there.”
Maya went back inside, and Cassidy turned to him with a guilty grin. She pinched at his waist, causing a bolt through his stomach. He tried to reduce his grin as he followed her inside. As she headed to the kitchen, Bo called him over to where he was standing with Blake in the living room watching a game on a humungous television.
“You doing okay?” Bo asked. “Can I get you anything?”
Jesse had to give these people a five-star rating for hospitality and inclusivity. “No, I think I’m good.”
“I don’t guess you’ve had a chance to try your board yet, huh?”
“Not yet, but as soon as Mother Nature heats us up, I’ll be out there. I think we’re supposed to have a pretty day tomorrow.”
“Yep,” Bo said, Blake nodding along. Bo sort of eyed Jesse. “I saw you come in from outside with Cassidy. Are the two of you here together?”
Blake glared at him. “Not that it’s any of our business.”
“No, we’re not together,” Jesse said. “We both did ride here with Dane and Marigold though.”
“That’s right,” Blake said. “You’re a good buddy of Dane’s aren’t you?”
“Yeah, we went to college together.”
“Must be nice having someone here from home,” Blake said.
“It is,” Jesse said, glancing into the kitchen. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Cassidy, even when she was cutting pies.
Bo glanced in that same direction and then back to Jesse, his gaze narrowing at him. “You sure nothing’s going on between the two of you?”
“Bo,” Blake barked.
Bo held up the hand that wasn’t holding a beer bottle. “What? I’m curious.”
“Are you her ex?” Jesse asked.
Bo lifted his chin in challenge, wordlessly.
“Fuck no, he’s not,” Blake said.
Bo’s eyes went wide at Blake. “Will you shut the hell up for once?”
Jesse couldn’t help a smile at these two guys who seemed more like brothers than friends, though they didn’t look anything alike.
“Bo,” Maya called from the kitchen, “would you please help me with the ice cream?”
“Sure thing, darlin’,” Bo said, hopping to his wife’s command, leaving Jesse alone with Blake.
“How do you know Bo?” Jesse asked.
“I met him through Chase a few years back.”
“Oh, I just assumed you two had known each other since you were kids or something. You act kind of like brothers.”
Blake glanced at Bo in the kitchen with a smile. “Bo’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother.” He turned back to Jesse. “He acts like a horse’s ass sometimes, but he’d give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it.”
Jesse nodded, feeling envious of their close relationship. He and his own brother were once that close, but they damn sure weren’t anymore. “Sometimes we pick our family.”
Blake’s eyebrows went up in consideration as he glanced around the room. “Or they pick you.”
“Mmm,” Jesse uttered, taking a swig of beer. He didn’t let people get close to him, not since college. Dane was the nearest thing to a best friend Jesse had, but Jesse was even careful to let Dane in. When people got too close, that gave them the ability to hurt you. Jesse wouldn’t ever let that happen again.
“So you’re not married, I’m assuming,” Blake said.
“No, not my thing.”
“It wasn’t my thing either, until I met Seanna.” Blake looked over at an attractive, curvy girl who was talking with Dane and Marigold. The contented adoration in his gaze almost made Jesse envious. Blake turned back toward him. “You’re not seeing anyone seriously?” He held up a hand. “I’m not trying to be nosey. Just making conversation.”
Jesse was starting to wonder if Blake and Bo had a good cop/bad cop routine going on. “No. I don’t really see anyone seriously. That’s also not my thing.”
Blake nodded as if this made perfect sense and turned his attention to the game, but his brow was furrowed like he was deep in thought. After a moment of standing there watching a game Jesse couldn’t care less about and Blake seemed uninterested in, Blake said, “Don’t rule it out. Excuse me.” He headed down the hallway toward the bathroom, leaving Jesse a little dazed.
* * *
Cassidy stared out the window into the dark night as they headed back down 30A toward their homes, the car decidedly quieter than it had been on their way to the party. Bellies were full of food and drink, and everyone was sated. In the front, Marigold and Dane held hands, their elbows sitting side by side on the shared armrest. In the middle Chase and Shayla were in quiet conversation, smiling at one another as Chase reached over and rubbed on her leg, Shayla covering his hand with her own, squeezing tightly.
Cassidy had been single most of her adult life. Somewhere along the way, dating had turned into a chore. Getting to know someone and sticking with them despite all their faults and her own had become a task she couldn’t master. She was picky, not when it came to looks though. She’d dated men who were twice her weight, bald-headed, and just flat-out unattractive. The outside had never mattered much to her. She was always digging deeper to find a heart that complimented her own. There’d been times she found a shallow heart, then there’d been times she’d found a man’s heart was bigger and more giving than her own, and she’d not felt worthy of their love. Whatever her process had been, it’d failed to bring her a happily ever after.
She’d never thought she needed that until she watched these friends of hers coupling up around her, the smiles on their faces so wide she thought they all might burst from love to give. She’d never thought she’d say or even think it, but for the first time, she wondered if she’d made the wrong choice somewhere along the way.
She felt a poke in her leg and turned to find Jesse giving her that look that he must have given a thousand women in his time…that look that drew women to him like a bee to a hive, and here she was, falling in line just like the others. She was certainly no stronger than they were.
She rested her head against the back of the seat, staring at him with a hint of a smile.
“You looked deep in thought just then,” he said.
She gave a small shrug. “Nothing earth-shattering.”
“I imagine your thoughts would interest me.”
Her smile grew. “You give me way too much credit.”
“I doubt that.”
He reached over and ran a finger across her knuckles, waking up her sleepy body. She was either too tired or too interested to resist. He landed on her ring finger. “I can’t believe you’ve never been married. It seems like everyone gets married.”
“You’re not married,” she said.
“Not my thing.”
She huffed a laugh. “Clearly, it’s not mine either.”
He narrowed his gaze at her. “I’ll bet you’ve been asked.”
She shrugged her response.
“Probably more than once,” he said, gauging her.
“What about you?” she asked, eager to divert the attention from herself. “Have you ever done the asking?”
His brow furrowed, and he seemed to lose some of his confidence as he glanced out the window, mouth open, but words not yet coming out. She’d found his Achilles heel.
She waved herself off. “Doesn’t matter. The past is where it should be.”
They pulled into Chase and Shayla’s driveway and said their goodbyes with promises to get together again soon. But Cassidy wondered where her place wa
s in this group. Despite her age, she’d always felt a part of the group because they were all single like her. But as they continued to couple up, and knowing it was just a matter of time before they all started having children, she wondered how much longer she would feel comfortable being a part of them.
“Are you okay?” Jesse asked.
She blinked herself awake. “Oh, yeah. Just tired.”
“Do you maybe have one more drink in you?” he asked as they turned onto 30A.
“At your bar?” she asked with a grin.
“I’m always up for a drink at my bar, but we could get one close to your house. I could walk you home afterward.”
She gave him a look.
“I’m serious. I just want a minute to hang with you. You were so popular tonight, I didn’t even have the opportunity to really talk to you.”
As they plowed through Seagrove headed toward Seaside, her mind raced, weighing her options. The idea of spending an hour at a bar with him was definitely tempting. The idea of bringing him back to her bed was downright mouthwatering. But the logical part of her brain told her she was feeling vulnerable and this was a trap she’d regret falling into tomorrow.
She’d had one-night-stands in her time, but none of them had left her feeling great the next day. She applauded these young women who owned their sexuality and had no qualms about sleeping around on their terms. But Cassidy came from a time where free love came with a stigma. Sure, times had changed, thank God, but Cassidy hadn’t necessarily changed with them. To her, sex had always been something she’d waited for. She liked knowing that her partner cared about her and probably would want to call her afterward. The handful of times she’d given herself to a man and he’d not called her back had crushed her and left her feeling vulnerable and used. She liked to be in control of her emotions.
She gazed into Jesse’s blue eyes, and then moved down to his strong, tattooed arms, his right hand housing two silver rings. This young man was certified hot as fuck. There was no arguing it. And he was seducing her tired, forty-four-year-old ass. What was she waiting for?
As they passed Seaside Sweets, Cassidy’s street was just around the corner. Dane put on the turn signal, and Cassidy’s heartbeat ratcheted up, because she knew she was getting ready to do something completely out of character, damn the consequences.
“I’ve got a bottle of wine at my house,” she said. “Wanna have a drink on the beach?”
5
Cassidy had grabbed two quilts, one for them to lay on the beach and another to cover up with. Sure, she understood she was out of her mind, taking a young guy to the beach when it was probably forty-five degrees out there, but this was the safe way. If they opened that bottle of wine in her living room, she would be toast. If they had this drink on the beach, covered in jackets and blankets, all would be safe. That was the theory.
After they got the first blanket spread onto the dark beach, she handed him a hoodie. “I’ll be honest, I don’t know where this came from. It’s been at the house for a couple of years, but it’s clean. I wear it when I want to be swallowed whole,” she said, babbling out of nervousness.
“Thanks,” he said, and then pulled the hoodie over his head.
“Is it too cold out here?” she asked.
“Not for me. Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She held up the other blanket she was holding. I brought this one to lay over our laps.”
He smiled. “That’s perfect.”
She sat on the blanket, rolling her eyes at herself. What the hell was she doing there?
He pulled the wine bottle out of the bag they’d brought, and poured her a generous portion into a plastic cup.
“Thanks,” she said, taking it from him.
He poured his own and then sat down beside her, pulling the blanket she’d laid out over his lap. “I love the ocean at night like this.”
“Mmm,” she muttered. “I haven’t been down here at night in years.”
He glanced over at her. “Tell me about Jamaica.”
“What do you want to know?”
“What work do you do there?”
“It depends on the project. This time we were building houses. Have you been over there?”
“Does that nude resort everyone goes to count?” he asked. She gave him a look, and he smiled. “I’m kidding. No, I haven’t been, but I’ve heard the stories.”
“This is a different part of Jamaica,” she said.
“I understand that. Tell me about it.”
“It’s not much. It’s not enough, for sure. But we do what we can with the time and resources we have. Todd, who runs the project, does the fundraising through the year, and then when he gathers the resources, he puts together a team.”
“Do you go every year?” he asked.
“Not every year. I’ve been several years, but it doesn’t always work out. Sometimes it’s summertime when he gets the project ready, and I can’t be gone from the shop then. The stars happened to align this go-around.”
“So you’ve been working with these people for a while?”
“For about twenty years, I guess. We did our first job when we were…” She caught herself, realizing she was getting ready to give him a definite age for her. She had never once been ashamed of her age, but sitting here on this beach with this guy her body bowed to for some reason, she wasn’t prepared to give that information just yet. “In our twenties,” she finished.
He studied her. “I’ve never done anything like that. It must make you feel good.”
“More than that it makes me feel helpless. Todd’s an amazing guy and he does so much. I do a tiny little bit then come back here and bake brownies. It makes me feel silly.” She’d never put that into words before, but as it came out she realized how true it was.
“Two months of work is amazing.”
“Not at all. Todd has devoted his whole life to this stuff. I do it for a finite time, knowing I’m coming back to my beach home and bakery in Seaside. Honestly, I just feel inadequate sometimes.”
He shook his head. “What should that make me feel?”
She touched his arm. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t trying to make you feel guilty.”
“No, I should. I’m caught up in my own world. Sometimes it feels like my bar is my whole identity.”
She nodded. “When I’ve spent a week straight at the bakery, I can start to feel that, too. These are our jobs. We shouldn’t let our jobs define us, even if we do own the businesses.”
He met her gaze, his expression serious. “For sure.”
“Tell me about paddleboarding,” she said.
He waved her off with an embarrassed look on his face.
“No, I’m serious. That’s really interesting to me.”
He reached up and scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know. It’s just something I do. I love the water. Jet skis, paddleboards, parasailing…”
“Oh my God,” she said, putting her hand over her heart. “I can’t even.”
“Are you serious?”
“Oh yeah. I’m terrified of the water. I’m more than happy to sit here and look at it, but the idea of being out there flying above it makes me nauseous.”
“I could take you out. Help you get over your fear.”
“No thanks.”
He nudged her. “Let me.”
She searched his gaze, refusing to fall for his charm. “What’s your game, Jesse?”
He blinked. “What do you mean?”
“Do you get off on boosting an old lady’s ego?”
He turned his body so he was facing her full-on. “I don’t know what the fuck old lady you’re talking about.”
She rolled her eyes at him, gathering her knees to her chest, and then pulling the blanket over them.
“What’s your game?” he asked.
“Me?” Her eyes went wide.
“You could tell me to fuck off at any time, but you don’t seem to mind being with me.”
She sat ther
e looking at him, speechless, heat seeping up through her neck. Though she could feel her emotions taking over her sense of logic and reason, she was powerless to control them. She didn’t get embarrassed often, but when she did that was her Achilles heel.
“How about this? Fuck off.”
“I would if I thought you were serious.”
She narrowed her gaze at him, pointing between the two of them. “This works on women? This full-of-yourself, cocky, arrogant swagger?”
“I don’t know. Does it?”
She blinked, not knowing what the hell to do with this beautiful creature who she wanted to strangle and screw all at the same time.
He set his cup down in the sand and then faced her. “I’ll tell you this right now, flirtations and games aside, I’m fucking losing my mind I want you so bad. Ever since the night Marigold introduced me to you at my bar a couple of weeks ago, I’ve done nothing but dream of what your body tastes like, from your mouth all the way down.”
Cassidy’s core heated like a blow torch.
He came closer. “So before you tell me to fuck off, you better decide if that’s what you really want. Because what I want is my body on top of yours.”
Her mouth met his, and she took in his delicious lips with a hunger so ravenous she thought she might swallow him up. He tasted like sweet wine and nineteen-ninety-six. His hand snaked around to the back of her neck, his fingers threading through her hair. The older she had gotten the less interested in French kisses she had become, because the men she’d been with had always been sweet but nothing to write home about in bed. But she could live decades with this man’s tongue wrapped around hers.
Before she knew it, she was horizontal, and he had his wish, his body on top of hers. She assumed he was bullshitting her with his declaration of how he wanted her, but at this point she didn’t even care. She wrapped her legs around his back as he settled in on top of her, still kissing her mouth. What had happened to her wine cup? Finally, he pulled away, his breath as heavy as hers. He smoothed her hair out of her face, staring into her eyes. “Fuck,” was all he said, and then he went back in for more kissing.
Grayton Beach Dreams Page 4
