She threaded her fingers through his hair as he continued to kiss her, wondering how she was going to live without his tongue in her mouth when this was over, remembering the beauty of the perfectly executed French kiss. Damn, it’d been a long time.
As he moved on top of her, she practically gasped as his hard cock pressed against her center. Oh God, the wonder of the young guy’s naturally achieved erection. Her hand reached for it out of pure need. A young, hard cock, ready for her. Nobody else was around in this dark Seaside night. She ran her hand over it though his jeans, but that simply would not do. She undid his pants and her hand gripped his cock which was free of any form of underwear.
She closed her eyes as he pulled off of her, giving her space between them, but continued to kiss her neck. As she gripped this rock-hard cock, all she could think about was how rare it was these days. Just last month, that second time she was with Todd, his loose erection had lost steam halfway through their lovemaking, and he’d fallen off of her, defeated and ashamed. She’d spent the next three days trying to subtly boost his ego to make up for it. But now, here was this cock that was as strong and solid as a flagpole.
“Fuck, Cassidy,” he breathed into her neck as she felt a little drip on her thumb. She didn’t realize her appreciation and playing around with him was having a real effect. Jesus, it took a fifteen-minute blow job to get the old guys she’d been with recently ready to roll.
He pulled away and met her gaze. “I’ve got condoms.”
Oh fuck. That was where they were headed, wasn’t it? What else did she think was happening here? She wasn’t thinking. She was reveling.
Was she actually going to let this man enter her? She’d been sworn off one-nighters for so long, but here she was, poised for one. If she did this with him, how was she going to do business with him with a straight face? Goodness gracious, she was holding his dick in her hand. She was pretty sure she’d passed the point of return.
“Can you double-up?” she asked. Cassidy came up in the ‘80s and ‘90s when AIDS was a death sentence. She understood people his age were likely less concerned about condom usage, which was what troubled her even more. Even though it could be manageable thanks to advancements in medicine, she still didn’t want it or anything else that was spread through unprotected sex.
“Yeah, I’ve got two.”
Of course he did. He probably had ten.
As he sat up, kicking off his jeans, she slid out of hers, the cold air hitting her legs like a slap in the face. He slid the first condom on and then the second like a master. He pulled the blanket over his back, and then lowered himself down to her. He kissed her again, but this time slow and sensual, the tip of his cock teasing her clit. God, she was so wound up she thought she might blast off.
He pushed inside of her and she gripped his shoulders as his pure, unadulterated breadth consumed her. Although it was a brisk, spring evening, the heat under that blanket must have been a thousand degrees. He slowed down, pumping into her with intentional, deliberate movements. He kissed her again and she rocked her hips up to meet his thrusts. She gripped his shoulder blades as the buildup inside of her started its ascent.
“Will you come with me?” he whispered into her ear.
“Yes,” she breathed back. God, could she? It’d been ages since she had through intercourse. These days it was all about getting the man through the task. But this man needed no assistance.
He pumped harder and faster, starting a pounding rhythm for the both of them to sail away to. As the intensity inside of her got to be more than she could handle, she let out breathy moans, signaling him that it was happening for her so he could go along with her.
“Oh, fuck,” he said as he collapsed onto her, breathing into the crook of her neck. She could barely catch her own breath as their chests rose and fell together in unison through their suffocating sweatshirts. He rolled off of her and lay on his back, staring at the stars.
The reality of what had just happened started to seep in like a fluorescent office light. What was she doing? This was the beach in front of her home. Sure, her neighbors with beach views had likely not been able to see them in the pitch black dark this far away, but still. She reached under the blanket for her jeans.
“What’s your hurry?” he asked, running his hand down her thigh. Damn, his touch. Give her five minutes and she’d be ready to go again. But she had to go home and process what she’d just done.
“I need to get home.”
He searched her gaze, but she didn’t give anything up. “You don’t want to sleep under the stars with me?”
She could. She would roll over and settle into the crook of his arm, snuggled under the quilt until dawn broke. She could watch the sun come up with him.
It was time to wake up out of her alternate reality. This man had worked his magic on her and she’d fallen for it. She didn’t blame him. She played the game as hard as he did. But now she had to accept that he would move on to the next girl, one fifteen or twenty years younger than her. She couldn’t or wouldn’t compete with that. And if he was in her life at all, she’d be wanting to do what they just did over and over and in a million different ways and formats. Best to cut ties now before she was even deeper in.
She smiled. “That sounds nice. But I want to sleep in my bed.”
He nodded, gauging her. “Okay.” Was that a flash of hurt in his eyes? She really couldn’t tell.
They both slid into their jeans and then stood, Cassidy folding up the top blanket and Jesse gathering the plastic cups, and hopefully the condom.
“Did you get the…”
He held up the plastic cups. “Yep. In here.”
She nodded, and picked up the bottom blanket to shake it out. He helped, getting the other corners. Once they’d shaken it a bit, they walked toward each other, and he handed her his side. He picked up the other side of the blanket, and then walked toward her to hand her that side, but instead of walking away that time, he cupped both hands over hers, which were still gripping the blanket. “I had a really fun time tonight, and not just here.”
She swallowed, nodding her head. “Yeah, definitely. Our friends are really great.”
He just stared at her, wordlessly calling her out on her bullshit. She backed away, continuing to fold the blanket. He loaded up with everything else, and they headed up the beach in silence. As they approached her house, she remembered he didn’t have a car. “Oh, I can drive you home.”
He pulled out his phone. “I already ordered an Urban Ride, down on the beach.”
She nodded, and he followed her to the house where he set the stuff down on her dining room table. He jerked a thumb toward the door. “I’ll see you, okay?” he asked.
“I’m sure we will,” she said.
Lights flooded the street in front of her house, and he held up a hand in a wave as he backed out the doorway. She collapsed onto the couch, pulling her hair out of her face. This was not her finest hour. Not only was she ashamed of giving in to temptation, but she’d exited that situation with less grace than a grizzly bear at a tea party. She could have slept there on the beach with him. She would have loved that, actually. But she didn’t like the feelings she was forming for him. She would not confuse lust for real feelings. She was smarter and more experienced than that.
Her phone dinged from somewhere. She peered around for her purse and found it in the kitchen. A message from Jesse, perhaps? This would be her opportunity to make things…not right, but better. An apology of some sort for rushing him out? She wasn’t sure that felt right. She knew she owed one, she just didn’t know how to deliver it.
She located her phone and was disappointed to find it was just a notification that someone had followed the shop on Instagram. But underneath it was a text notification…from Todd.
Hey, really missing you here in Jamaica. I don’t mean romantically. Well, we both know that’s a lie, but seriously, I do miss you. I’m working on a new project. Hoping to have the funds ready to go
by October 1. I know you’re busy, but I really hope you can make it for at least a while.
She closed her eyes. Like she needed something else to make her feel like shit tonight.
6
Jesse paddled out into the ocean, the low tide making his job easier than usual. He’d come out there to get his mind off things and just focus on the water, but even the peace of the ocean couldn’t save his thoughts today.
If he’d ever had a woman kiss him like that before, he damn sure didn’t remember it. She kissed him like every moment their mouths were connected meant something. God he was starting to sound like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. The way she slid her fingers into his hair and wrapped her legs behind his back, rocking her hips up to meet his…damn. And then when she wrapped her hand around his cock, fuck, he almost lost it. The way she stroked him, slowly sliding her hand up and down like she wanted to memorize every muscle made him desperate to be inside her. The whole thing went by entirely too fast, mostly because of him rushing it. He couldn’t help it though. He wanted her way too damn much.
The worst mistake he’d made was rolling off of her. As soon as he did that, she left him and went to another place, one where he didn’t belong. She was done with him then. All he could think about was the many times he’d had sex with some girl from the bar, and then the moment he was done, he wanted away. That was how she’d felt about him.
It’d been four days since he’d seen her, and his feelings only seemed to grow stronger every day. He couldn’t figure out why he couldn’t let her go. Every moment he was around her he became more interested in her, and when he was away, he just spent his time wondering about her. He wanted to know more about her work in Jamaica, but she hadn’t seemed to want to talk much about it, except for the several times she mentioned how wonderful Todd was. A hundred bucks said this Todd guy had a thing for her, and probably vice versa.
He paddled back in. It was too damned cold out there. It’d gotten up above seventy, but the water was a different story. After he washed up on the beach, he hauled his board up on his shoulder and headed back toward the bar. Two girls sat in beach chairs smiling at him.
He smiled back. Now, all he had to do was stop and drum up a conversation like he’d done a million times. But his feet just kept going right by them.
* * *
Cassidy’s heartbeat increased as she walked the streets of Grayton toward Jesse’s bar. The beach access lot she normally used was full, and so was every spot for a good square mile thanks to the gorgeous day. March was all over the place weather-wise in South Walton, so people came out in droves on the days they could.
She’d chickened out and sent Marigold with the cookie order on Tuesday. She just couldn’t bring herself to come. Of course, Marigold had asked a million questions. Cassidy supposed she’d had a right to since Jesse had gotten out at Cassidy’s house on Saturday night. Cassidy had been vague, but Marigold was no fool.
Cassidy took a deep breath as she opened the door to Jesse’s bar. A couple of servers hustled around, but Cassidy didn’t spot Jesse anywhere. One of the young women approached Cassidy and pointed at her. “Seaside Sweets, right?”
“Yes.” Cassidy proffered the container, and the girl took it.
“Where’s Marigold today?”
“Um, she’s holding down the fort at the bakery.”
“Ah,” the girl said, taking the box from her. “Well thanks.”
Cassidy hung around a second, and the girl furrowed her brow. “Do we owe you a check? I can grab some cash out of the register if you have an invoice.”
“No. Actually…is Jesse around?”
“No, I don’t think so.” She glanced around. “Anyone know where Jesse is?” she shouted through the bar.
A blond girl filling a napkin dispenser said, “He’s at the beach.”
“Crap. Sorry,” the woman said to Cassidy. “Do you want me to have him call you when he gets back?”
The door opened and in came a paddleboard first, and then a shirtless, barefooted man with a tattoo on his shoulder. She swallowed hard.
He heaved the board upright and set it down, and then met her gaze with clear surprise in his expression. “Hey.”
Cassidy pointed at the server, still holding the cookie box. “I made the cookie delivery.”
“Cool. Thanks. Do you have my invoice yet?”
“No, I meant to bring it. I’ll have it ready with tomorrow’s delivery.”
The server pointed at Jesse. “Tell her about my idea with the menu.”
He ran his hand through his wet hair as Cassidy tried to look at his face and nowhere else. “Kelly wanted to see if you’d be okay if we added your logo to the cookie item on the menu,” he said.
“People love supporting local,” Kelly said. “It’s as much about sales for us as it is promotion for you. Can you send us a logo?”
“Sure. I’ll have my designer do that.”
“Cool,” Kelly said and was off to the kitchen, leaving Cassidy alone with Jesse.
Cassidy glanced around. “Um, can we talk somewhere for just a quick second?”
“Sure,” he said, picking up his board. He led her to a door that said, EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY. ALARM WILL SOUND, and pushed it open, no alarm sounding. He maneuvered his board through the doorway and then rested his sweet ass against the door, letting her walk through to what turned out to be a stairwell. He hefted his board expertly up onto a wall mount, the muscles in his tattooed arms rippling as he worked. He turned back around and faced her, his shorts sagging, those muscles below the stomach that form a broken V on broad display.
She glanced around at another door that must have exited to the outside, and then to the staircase in front of her. She pointed upward. “So, is this your apartment?”
“Yeah, did you want to…”
“No, no. I just,” she said, inhaling a deep breath, “I just came here to say that I’m sorry about the other night.”
He frowned.
“I think you probably realize that I sort of freaked out a bit after we…” She trailed off, unable to believe that she somehow had lost part of her own vocabulary.
“Had sex?” Jesse asked.
She closed her eyes, the heat seeping up to her ears. “Yes, thank you.” This was ridiculous. He had moved on from her now, was probably onto the next girl already. For all she knew, he’d already slept with some other girl. He was a bartender with an apartment above his bar. How convenient did it get?
She just had to spit this nonsense out so she could move on and never see him again. She’d send Marigold with the cookie order from now on, and if she couldn’t come, Cassidy would hire a courier, or just admit that cookie recipes can be found on the backs of chocolate chip bags.
She met his gaze, trying to garner her courage. “Jesse, what happened the other night…I don’t do that.”
“Okay,” he said, resting his hands on his hips, his six-pack on full display.
Look up, Cassidy. Look up.
“I realize that it’s no big deal and that people have one-night-stands all the time. But I come from a time where that wasn’t as prevalent as it is now, and I’ve never really enjoyed them like many women do.”
He lowered his chin. “You didn’t enjoy yourself?”
She held up both hands. “No, I very much enjoyed myself. I’m just trying to explain why I had such an…” He inched toward her, causing her to lose track of what she’d been saying. “Ungraceful exit,” she somehow managed to finish saying. Despite her pleas with herself, she looked down at his stomach. “Is that a raven tattoo?”
He touched it with both sets of his fingertips. “Yeah, I’m sort of a book nerd. I love Poe.”
Her exhale of the breath she’d been holding was loud and included a little chuckle, because this was just getting ridiculous. A book nerd? Was he kidding her?
Her gaze slid to the other side which showcased a tattoo of a self-effacing quote about masculinity. She studied it, her brain reaching
for its place but coming up short. She met his gaze, making a question with her eyebrows.
“Hemingway,” he said. “The Old Man and the Sea.”
Geez. The fact that he loved books enough to plaster tattoos celebrating them on his body just made her even more fascinated with him. Stop it, Cassidy.
She shook her head, trying to clear her brain for the task ahead. “So anyway, I’m really…” He moved in closer, his hand on the wall beside her head. She swallowed hard, then continued, “sorry that I…slept…with…”
His lips were on hers at the same time her hands cupped his shoulders, squeezing them for dear life. His lips tasted like the ocean, but his warm tongue on hers tasted like him…all man and all need. He pressed his hips into hers for just a moment, and then pulled away. “Sorry, I don’t want to get you wet.”
His hands slipped up under her shirt and cupped her waist, moving up her torso and to her breasts. Sliding them around to her back, he unhooked her bra and then ran his hands over her bare breasts, her nipples so tight they could poke out an eye.
Lifting her shirt, he reached down and kissed her bare belly, his tongue flickering onto her skin and then moving onto the next spot. She rested against the wall, knowing there should be a protest in her somewhere, but damned if she could find it.
He stood up straight, kissing her again. She realized they may be the exact same height. He was barefooted and she was wearing flat sandals, and they stood exactly evenly matched. He pulled away, his mouth open as he panted. “Can I take you to my bed?”
“Ye—” She stopped herself. “No,” she said, her disappointment at her own words consuming her. She ran her hand through her hair as he backed away. “I just came to…I came to…” She glanced around, not a clue why she was there.
“Make the cookie delivery,” he supplied.
She snapped. “Yes. That’s it. The cookie delivery. I need to get back to the shop now, and get on with my life, and let you get on with yours.” She motioned toward the bar awkwardly.
Grayton Beach Dreams Page 5
