“Luc told me enough to have a general understanding,” she replied.
“I think I’m following,” Luc said.
“Of course,” I muttered around the mouth of the bottle.
He winked at me, and the flutter in the pit of my stomach irked me. “When the Cassio Wave was first used, it woke up the mutation, and there was a burst of abilities, of symptoms, before returning to something like a base level. Your mutation was activated at that point and started interacting with your cells again. And in the woods, it was more or less triggered into a flurry of activity again by a perfect storm scenario—a threat to your life, but it wasn’t a full-blown infection at that point.”
Dr. Hemenway clapped enthusiastically. “Yes! Pretty much that. In a way. Your mutation was activated out of dormancy. The two incidents were like flare-ups, and it makes sense given what you began to experience along with the manifestation of new abilities. Luc mentioned that you’ve been extremely hungry?”
Lowering the bottle, I nodded. “Yes, always.”
“So, just to recap where we are at this point. The mutation was activated out of dormancy by the Cassio Wave. Like many latent viruses, this mutation slowly began to interact with your body. You had flare-ups triggered by extreme emotional or physical distress, but all along, ever since the Cassio Wave, the mutation has been slowly taking hold, explaining the ability to sniff out other alien DNA. Now, what I think happened, what sent this mutation into a flurry of activity, is the training—purposely using the Source. It was the straw that broke the horse’s back.” She paused, wrinkling her nose. “Wait. That doesn’t sound right.”
“Camel?” I offered.
“Ah. Yes. That’s it! Anyway, working with the Source kicked the mutation into hyperdrive—it’s the bam!” She smacked her hands together again, and this time I saw it coming. “The sleeping could’ve been because of what was going on in your body. I imagine the mutation was doing a lot of work, and I think you’ll probably discover more abilities going forward.”
“Oh.” I tried to not freak out, but my heart was racing. I had to ask, even if she couldn’t answer. “Did Luc tell you about what I’m supposed to be? How I’m coded to answer to one person?” When Dr. Hemenway nodded, the plastic crinkled under my fingers. “When I was in those woods, I had no idea who I was, and when I looked at Luc and Daemon, I didn’t see them as anything more than a threat. If you’re right and the mutation is just now fully waking up…” My stomach twisted with equal knots of dread and hope. “Is it possible that is why I didn’t go with April like she thought I would? And why I’m still myself now? Because the mutation hadn’t fully taken hold then?”
Dr. Hemenway opened her mouth as she sent Luc a sideways glance.
“He can’t answer that,” I said before Luc could say a word. The ripple of charged heat that rolled through the room told me he didn’t like what I’d said, but it was the truth.
“Neither can I,” she said after a few moments. “Even if I had that serum here, I don’t have the expertise or the equipment to determine exactly what it is capable of. This group—the Daedalus? They are light-years ahead of anything I’ve seen in bioengineering. All I can do is make poorly educated theories based on what I do know and what I’ve seen.”
“And what would be one of those poorly educated theories?” Luc asked. “I know you have one.”
Dr. Hemenway leaned back, brows raised as she pulled her lips in, making a popping sound. “Based on what I have seen and on the flare-ups where the mutation seized hold? You may not have remembered who you were at first, and you may have gone after Luc and Daemon, but you snapped out of it one way or another, and during that time, you didn’t feel an overwhelming compulsion to seek out someone else or leave. In a way, it reminds me of a new computer. You buy it and it works for a couple of days or weeks, and then you have all these software updates that need to run.”
I really had no idea where she was going with this. She must’ve read the look on my face, because she said, “Think of it this way. The mutation just came out of its dormant state, and it either was or still is running updates. Your memories, thoughts, and feelings were all there, but the day in the woods just took a little bit of time for you to come back online. Perhaps if the mutation is fully active or once it’s completely integrated, there will be no need to reboot. But I’m guessing that if you’re triggered again, the best thing to do is remove all threats until you can reboot.”
“So, you think I will remain myself?” I asked, half-afraid to allow myself to think that was even a possibility.
Luc’s gaze shifted to me as Dr. Hemenway said, “I think there is no way of knowing for sure what the Andromeda serum has done, even if I had that serum here and all the tools and knowledge necessary to be able to break it down to its very core. I don’t think the Daedalus would even know, unless there were someone just like you.”
“What do you mean?” Luc’s attention snapped to the doctor.
“You haven’t considered this?” She looked surprised as she stared back at Luc, and then she nodded as if she’d answered her own question. “A lot of stuff has been going on, so I can see how this was overlooked.” Her gaze flicked to mine. “You weren’t just given the Andromeda serum. You were given LH-11 and Prometheus before, correct? And while Andromeda healed and mutated you, LH-11 and Prometheus are still in there. How do those serums interact with Andromeda? It would be safe to assume that the previous introduction of alien DNA has either lessened or strengthened some of the DNA coding in Andromeda. If the other Trojans were given just the Andromeda serum, then none of them would be like Evie, and she would be unlike any of them.”
17
Still tangled up between hope and dread, I watched Luc slowly approach the bed. “Well, I guess that was all good news. I mean, even if she isn’t right about the whole rebooting thing.” God, I really hope she is. “She confirmed that I’m healthy even after sleeping for four days.”
“Yeah.” Luc stopped beside the bed. “Viv is one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. Her theory could be on point.”
That little kernel of hope grew. “If so, then I’m not a risk. I won’t go all hive mind on everyone.” I sought the same relief I felt in his expression but found nothing but a blank canvas. “You’re not happy to know that there may be a chance I’m not going to flip out one day and run back to the Daedalus?”
“I didn’t think you were going to in the first place.” He frowned as he stared out the window near the bed.
“But you believed that only because you didn’t want to accept anything else,” I pointed out, studying him in the faint afternoon sunlight. Something was up. “What’s wrong? And don’t say ‘nothing’. Obviously, something is wrong.”
“I don’t…” Exhaling heavily, he sat beside me. He slid his hand over my cheek, catching strands of hair in his fingers. He drew them away from my face, his hand lingering along the back of my head. “I just hate this—the not knowing.” A rough laugh escaped him. “I’ve always known everything, Evie. Everything. You’d say that’s me being arrogant.”
I would.
“But it’s the truth.”
It was, unfortunately.
“Being able to read minds and see through all the BS has left very little hidden from me, but you … everything about you is unknown,” he continued, carefully extricating his fingers from my hair. “Do you have any idea how much I hate this?”
Considering how much control Luc did have in any given situation, I had a good idea of what this must be doing to him, all of this, and I hated that I couldn’t do anything to alleviate his fear. That I was the source of his fear.
“I bet you think you do,” he said, his voice as rough as his next breath. “But you don’t. I would give up all other knowledge just to know what is happening to you. I know that sounds intense.”
It really did. “All knowledge?”
“I would do it in a heartbeat. If I knew what was happening, I could fix it. I could d
o something other than this.” He smoothed his fingers over my cheek. “God, Evie, do you know that you’re the only thing I’ve ever cared about?”
My heart squeezed painfully tight in my chest. “Luc…”
He shook his head. “I don’t care how that makes me sound. You shouldn’t be shocked by it. I wasn’t lying when I told you what I feel for you is intense.”
A burn filled my chest, crawling up my throat. I scooted toward him, my legs tangling in the blanket as I touched his jaw with my fingers. “I’m not shocked by it.”
He didn’t seem to hear me as those luminous violet eyes met mine. “When I heard Grayson shout my name and I went outside, seeing you lying there? My fucking heart stopped, Evie. Everything stopped. And when minutes turned into hours and hours turned into days, I couldn’t think. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. Hell, getting up to use the bathroom scared me shitless, because what if something happened to you while I was gone those couple of minutes? What if—” He cut himself off, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’ve waited for you forever, and the only thing that scares me—that terrifies me—is that something is going to take you from me, and I won’t be able to do a damn thing about it.”
Tears crowded my eyes, and when I went to swallow, a lump formed in my throat.
“You don’t remember any of this, but you were close to death so many times when you were sick. You would lie there, so damn still. It was like you couldn’t hear me or Paris when we talked to you—like you already had one foot in the beyond. I would just sit there and watch you, making sure you were breathing. I hated even blinking.” His body trembled as his hands wrapped around my wrists. “And there was nothing I could do then. That’s how I felt when you were sleeping. That there was nothing I could do but pray, and I don’t even know if there’s a God listening, but I prayed, Evie, because if I lost you again, I don’t know what I would do.”
Dampness clung to my lashes, seeped onto my cheeks. “I’m sorry—”
“Don’t you dare apologize.” His eyes flew open. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You didn’t cause any of this.” He paused. “I caused this.”
“No, you didn’t,” I told him. “You didn’t cause this.”
His head tilted, and he stared at me for so long, before a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes appeared. “All of this started because of me and my choices.”
My fingers curled against his cheeks. “I don’t know if it started because of you.”
“Evie—”
“I dreamed something, but I don’t think it was a dream,” I rushed on. “It felt too real, like a memory, and if it was real, none of this started because of you.”
His brows furrowed as his stare turned questioning. “What did you dream?” He slowly brought my hands to the bed. “Or remember?”
Lowering my gaze, I watched him slip his hands off my wrists as I told him what I’d dreamed, everything from the spot on the floor to my mom telling me that I wouldn’t remember any of what happened, not even him. The only part I left out was the suspicion that I might’ve killed my father. At some point, he rocked back, and when I glanced up, he sat stiffly, his jaw a hard, unforgiving line.
“They would’ve sent someone else if for whatever reason you and I didn’t … I don’t know, become friends or whatever.” I, too, sat back, leaning into the cushions. My gaze flicked to the ceiling fan. It was still. “I think I was sought out by Jason Dasher because of my uncanny resemblance to his daughter. At least that’s the impression Mom gave me, and if my father and Jason had known each other, it’s plausible Dasher would’ve seen me before.”
Luc was quiet, but I could feel his eyes on me.
“Do you really think it’s possible that they made me sick? I mean, considering what they are capable of, it doesn’t seem impossible, but…”
“But if they did, it would be a whole new level they have sunk to,” he said. “You didn’t get sick right away. It was a couple of years. How they could’ve exposed you to something like that would be difficult to narrow down. Neither Paris nor I watched you 24–7. It could’ve been at the club or a store or when you were out taking pictures by yourself. They could’ve put something in the damn water in the house. Paris and I wouldn’t have gotten sick.”
It all felt almost too much to consider, but I had to. “I don’t understand why they would’ve let it go on so long if all of this was a way to control you. They could’ve waved that serum in your face at any time and you would’ve done anything. I could’ve died before you brought me to them, and then what?”
“I can’t answer that,” Luc said after a few moments. “There has to be a reason they waited and took that risk.”
It would’ve been a huge risk. All that time and effort they put into Luc and me cultivating a friendship that would lead Luc to defy all logic could’ve been lost if I’d died. “I don’t know. Maybe what I dreamed was just a dream—”
“Your father’s name was Alan.”
A shiver swirled down my spine as my gaze shot to his. I didn’t know what to say at first. “It was?”
Luc nodded. “And he was in the military, but I never discovered any relation to Jason Dasher. Those records could’ve been expunged. There wasn’t a lot to be found about him other than his rather vast work history. The man couldn’t keep a job longer than a few months.”
“Alan?” I gave a little shake of my head as I returned to staring at my hands where they now rested in my lap. “That’s his name. Should I feel something learning that? Like relief or dread? It’s the name of my father, my real father, and I feel nothing.”
“You don’t remember him, Peaches. That’s a name of a stranger,” he said, angling his body toward mine. “You don’t need to feel anything.”
“And maybe it’s better that way, like not remembering my time at the Daedalus.” I closed my eyes as an uncomfortable heaviness settled over me, oily and thick. “If the memory was true, I think he was abusive…” My stomach twisted with nausea at the thought of continuing, but I needed to say it—say all of it. I couldn’t let it sit unspoken inside me, where it would fester and become a different kind of monster. “I think I might’ve killed my father. The night I ran away was right after Jason Dasher arrived, and I think I stabbed him.”
My eyes were open again, and I was staring at my hands. Had they been covered in blood? “She didn’t—I mean, I don’t think you knew, because I think I made sure to never really think about it. I don’t think I could think about any of it. Probably not the healthiest coping skill, but maybe it was a way I could survive it all.”
“I knew.”
My head jerked toward him. I seemed to have skipped a breath.
Luc’s lashes lowered. “I knew. I always knew, but you didn’t want me to. I think you thought I would judge you for it, and I think you needed to believe that I didn’t know, so I never let on that I did.”
For some reason, my nose was stinging. So were my eyes.
“I didn’t pick it up from your thoughts. Not at first. You gave us your real name, and Paris was able to check out who you were a few days after you showed up. He learned that your father was dead,” he told me, his gaze never wavering from mine. “He suspected that you’d done it. He also suspected you had a good reason. When you first came to us, you were jumpy. If either of us reached for you or if we raised our voices, you’d flinch and often keep yourself at least an arm’s distance from us. You had a lot of faded bruises that looked like someone had made a habit of grabbing your arms. Hard.” His eyes were as hard as granite. “Neither of us ever judged you. If anything, the discovery meant you fit with us way better than we could’ve guessed, as disturbing as that was.”
A choked laugh escaped my lips, and I looked away, blinking back tears.
“You had nightmares the first year. You’d wake up screaming about blood,” he continued, his voice so very quiet. “One of those nights, I picked up bits and pieces. I just never let you know.”
Lips trembling, I pressed the
m together until I was sure I could speak. “I think Sylvia and Jason realized he was abusive. She said if they’d known, they would’ve come for me sooner.”
“And if that garbage human being had still been alive when Paris looked into you, he wouldn’t have been afterward.”
Even though I couldn’t remember Paris, if he was anything like Luc, I didn’t doubt that for one second. “I just … I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about that.” My palms felt sweaty as I rubbed them against the blanket. “I don’t really feel anything other than, cool, my actual father has a name. I should be angry that he was a monster who hit his child—and I am, but it’s like I’m angry for someone else, if that makes sense? Maybe if I remembered, things would be different. I don’t know.”
The bed shifted, and then Luc said, “Look at me.”
Drawing in a shallow breath, I did just that. The moment our gazes connected, they held.
“If you end up remembering more down the road, you go through what you need to go through. We’ll go through it together, but there is nothing wrong with feeling nothing. Just like there’s nothing wrong with how you feel about Sylvia. You feel what you need to feel, whether that’s feeling nothing or everything.”
The next breath I took scorched my lungs, and I nodded. Or at least I thought I did. “I love you,” I whispered. “You know that right? I love you.”
He leaned in, touching his forehead to mine. “I know, but if you feel the need to remind me often, I have no problem with that.”
I smiled, and I realized the heavy, sticky feeling was easing off. I knew it could come back, possibly bringing with it ugly memories, but if or when it did, I would face them.
“I think I need to fess up to something,” I said, drawing back until I could see Luc’s face. “I heard you when I was sleeping, on and off.”
“Did you?”
I nodded. “I heard you say even Grayson missed me. I know that was a lie.”
The Brightest Night Page 22
