by Jerry Boyd
Julie couldn’t hold her serious face any longer. She said, “How have you all been? Seems like forever since you’ve been in town.”
Nikki said, “We’ve been alright. Bob’s yet to find any trouble he can’t get out of.”
Julie asked, “You don’t sound too sure about that, Nikki. Why is that?”
Joanna said, “You’ll have to come out to the house sometime and get the whole story. It’s too long to tell here.”
Julie answered, “I see. Bob’s in deep, again. I think your usual table is still open, if you want it.”
I said, “It’s just the four of us, as far as I know.”
Julie pointed with her head and said, “Five.” I turned and saw Jack get out of his car, without the body cam. When he walked up, I pointed to his chest, and asked, “Won’t that get you in trouble?”
He said, “We’re allowed to take them off for meal breaks, but if you forget to put it back on when you go back on duty, you’re in deep kimchi.”
Janet asked, “Why do you wear strange clothes, and drive an odd car?”
Jack said, “You’re not from around here, are you? Bob should have given you a better orientation before he brought you out in public. I’m a policeman, I catch people who break laws, and see that they get what they deserve. The uniform and the car, are to show people who I am, so that they know I have the authority to enforce the law.”
Janet said, “How do you do that? You don’t have any airlocks.”
Jack said, “I don’t mean to be rude, but whatever the story is behind that comment, I don’t want to hear any more of it while I’m wearing my uniform. If I have to take official notice of it, that would be bad for all of us.”
Janet said, “Sorry, Sir. I didn’t mean to offend.” She looked at her shoes.
Jack turned to me with a questioning look. I said, “She was in a bad situation. We got her out of it, and then other bad things happened. I can’t tell you a lot more without saying things you don’t want to hear. She’s safe now, and we intend to keep her that way.”
Jack asked, “The fellow who did the ‘other bad things’ went for a walk?”
I replied, “He did. After his trial.”
Jack asked, “Trial?”
I replied, “Captain of a vessel underway. My right.”
Jack said, “You’re right. I don’t want to hear anymore until I change clothes.”
We went in and had a fine meal. Jack managed to get Janet to quit thinking he was some kind of ogre, come to separate her from us. We all had a good time, and Jack said he needed to get back on patrol. I left a nice tip and paid up. I noticed beef jerky for sale by the register. Susie’s Meat Candy, it said. I asked the cashier, “What’s this?”, pointing to the jerky.
She said, “Susie Collins has started making jerky again, since she started feeling better. Somehow or other she made up with her family, and they got some big-money backer to sell her jerky all over. It’s great stuff, you ought to try some.” I grabbed five sticks, couldn’t leave out my buddy Snitz. It kinda felt silly paying for jerky I was investing in, but I was curious if Susie was able to keep the quality up, running larger batches. I got out to the Yukon and peeled one for Snitz. He apparently thought the quality was up to snuff, the way he went after it. I asked, “Anybody else want theirs now?”
Nikki asked, “Why did you get us beef jerky?”
I said, “It’s Susie’s stuff. I don’t know how they got it on the market so quick. Remind me to thank your Dad when I see him.”
“I will. That is quick. You just wanted to see if she was able to keep the quality up?”
I replied, “That, and I couldn’t figure out a way to get out of my conversation with the cashier without buying some.”
Joanna said, “What is it you always say, Bob? I don’t believe I would’ve told that.”
I replied, “You’re probably right. Is everybody ready to head home?”
They all agreed, and Nikki pointed us out of town. I got on the comm to Sally. “Yes, Boss?”
I said, “I was wondering how long it would be before we could haul those saucers to Patrol headquarters?”
She replied, “Give it an hour, Boss. I think we’ll be ready in forty-five minutes, but Murphy is our shepherd.”
I said, “See you then. Fly safe.”
“Later, Boss.”
I asked, “Joanna, you’re checked out on freighters, aren’t you?”
She replied, “Yes, Bob. What do you need?”
I said, “We need to make a quick run to Patrol headquarters to drop off some castaways. It would give you a chance to go make eyes at Bill.”
Joanna replied, “Oh, thanks, Boss. Just what I wanted. I’ll fly if you need me, but if you can find anybody else, please do.”
Janet said, “I’m checked out on freighters. I could fly one.”
I replied, “I’m sure you could, but what are you going to do when the Patrol asks for your papers?”
She said, “Oh, I didn’t think of that.”
I said, “Don’t worry, that’s supposed to be my job, finding problems before we step in them.”
I commed Dingus. “This better be good, Bob.”
I said, “She’s already pregnant, it’s too late to make it twins.”
“Asshole! What do you need?”
I replied, “A pilot, or two if I can get them. We need to haul some castaways to the Patrol base, so we don’t have to worry about waking them up aboard the Gene.”
Dingus asked, “Why can’t you or Nikki fly it?”
I said, “We are. In order to keep from taking the Gene, we’re flying five freighter loads to the Patrol. I want to take them all together and get it over with.”
Dingus said, “That makes sense. Where’s Bob, and what have you done with him?”
I replied, “So I can count on you?”
He replied, “D-lightful says we need to finish up some business here, but we’ll be at your place in about a half an hour.”
“Talk to you then.”
I commed Max. “Hi, Bob. What can I do for you today?”
I asked, “You up for a little piloting?”
He said, “I suppose. What’s the mission?”
I replied, “We’re taking all those castaways to the Patrol base, so we don’t have to wake them aboard the Gene.”
Max asked, “You can’t fly it?”
I said, “I am, and so is Nikki, but there are five freighter loads. I’ve already got Dee and Dingus, but I need one more hand on the stick. Janet could fly it, but I don’t want to deal with the Patrol asking to see her papers. Joanna really doesn’t want to have to deal with Bill. John and Jane have been working hard, keeping people going, and need some down time.”
Max said, “I see your point. I am the next logical choice. Where do I need to be?”
I said, “Out front, in a couple of minutes. We’re headed your way.”
Max said, “On it, Bob.”
Nikki asked, “I thought there were six ships?”
I replied, “There were, but Ace found somebody who doesn’t get returned to the Patrol.”
Joanna said, “Here? Really?”
I replied, “I haven’t seen it, but Sally says so, and that’s good enough for me.”
Janet said, “That means Sally gets more labels to decode, right?”
I said, “It should. Hopefully, more samples will make it easier to figure out what they mean.”
We pulled into John’s, and Max jumped in the back seat. He asked, “What is that wonderful smell?”
Joanna replied, “Snitz tore into a piece of Susie’s jerky. I think that’s what you’re smelling.”
I said, “Thank you for getting that stuff on the market so fast.”
Max said, “Wasn’t me. Susie and her family had it all planned out, from before they had their falling out. All they needed to do was dig out their old plans and put them into motion.”
I said, “It was an amazing turnaround, however it happened
.”
We pulled in the yard, and Snitz and I went down to the shop to get Topper and the other bots. There was, of course, a game of Frisbee in progress. We joined in for a little bit, and then we all headed back up the hill. Dee and Dingus were just pulling in when we got there. Dee asked, “Why can’t the bots fly these folks home?”
I said, “They would have to act limited, because the Patrol base is Commonwealth territory. That could lead to bad things happening, when the Patrol figured out that they weren’t actually limited, but just acting.”
Dee replied, “I see the problem. If you took the Gene that close to the Patrol base, that would cause a bunch of trouble, too, wouldn’t it?”
I replied, “I sure would think so.”
The ladies came back out from hitting the head, and we loaded up. I stayed out to close the barn, and then I got aboard, and we took off. Nikki’s Audi had pride of place right by the ramp. I saw my old machine tools farther back. I asked Topper, “My stuff was Earth tech. Why did you bring it?”
Topper replied, “The DRO’s we put on for Steve weren’t. It was easier to bring the whole tool, than to take off the Galactic tech.”
I said, “Makes sense, no use to do more than you have to. If we ever need more Earth tools, I think we can afford them.”
Soon enough, the ramp was coming down, and there were a group of bots there. One of them said, “Human pilots, follow us to your ships, if you would.”
We all unloaded and found a guide to our particular ship. I wondered why I had happened to draw the Ronald Evans. My guide said, “It’s the fastest one of the bunch, Sir. We wanted you to have the best chance of making it back. Mrs. Wilson has the second fastest, but she is a better pilot than you.”
I said, “Thanks for clearing that up.”
I climbed aboard and found the course I needed to fly already input. I asked for clearance to leave the Gene and headed out. Nikki came over the comm. “They’ve got us flying straight there. I think we would be better off to make a jump, and come in from a random direction, don’t you, Caveman?”
I replied, “Set it up, and we will fly it, Space Cadet.” We jumped in, and slowly eased the volume on our transponders up to normal. It wouldn’t fool them, if they were determined to figure out what we had done, but it was good enough, if they had no reason to look. My comm rang. “Captain Wilson.”
Diego said, “Captain, I just wanted to let you know, I talked a nice lady called Dee out of her seat, so I’m flying one of your ships.”
I replied, “Why would you want to do that?”
He said, “I’ve never been to the Patrol base. I wanted to see it for myself.”
“Let me guess, Bill has second seat.”
Bill spoke up. “Nobody here but us chickens, Captain.”
I asked, “Do you two tourists have any useful information, like what Dee is up to on the Gene?”
Diego said, “She was asking Scotti whether the armory had shooting ranges, and how hard it would be for Scotti to copy something for her.”
I replied, “Loverly. When we get back, Janet will have a copy of Dee’s Baby Browning, and probably a couple of nasty little blades to go with it. Dee isn’t into restraint, when it comes to weapons.”
Bill said, “Sounds like my kind of girl.”
I said, “Well, her husband is a bona fide gunslinger out of the old west, so if you think you’re up to it, go ahead.”
Bill replied, “Now you’re pulling my leg, Captain.”
I said, “I’ve seen him fan a Colt, five shots into five different targets, so fast you couldn’t really see what happened.”
Bill asked, “How is that possible?”
I said, “A hundred and forty some years in the autodoc, waiting to get rescued. You’ve met Dingus, haven’t you, Diego?”
Diego said, “Dingus is Dee’s husband? Bill don’t even think about it. He may seem all mellow, but I don’t think that would last long if you were to bother his wife.”
I said, “He’d stand back and watch. He’s seen what she can do.”
Diego said, “I think Bill is having trouble fitting those new facts into his view of reality, Captain. Looks like you may have broken him.”
I replied, “That’s why I can’t have nice things. We better shape up. We’re coming into Patrol space.” The comm clicked off. My radio came alive. “B. S. Ronald Evans, what are your intentions?”
I said, “Patrol Base, I have several loads of castaways I’d like to leave with you, if I could. Some of them have bounties, but quite a few are just lost souls.”
Major Rottum came on the mic. “Bob, is that you? I heard you weren’t due back for quite a while.”
I replied, “No, Bill, you asked her when I was going to be here next. She doesn’t know, and I don’t either. I was already here, so that doesn’t count.”
“But we left the other system before you.”
I said, “So you did.”
“I called as soon as we came out of FTL.”
I replied, “So you did.”
“And you were already on the ground?”
I answered, “So I was. Sitting across the table from her, trying to resist the urge to make her break out with the giggles. By the way, she knows you’re just sniffing around for information, you’re not fooling her.”
“Do you have any good news for me?”
I replied, “This batch will be the last of the bounties, at least until we find another planet to clean up. We picked up all the castaways on Earth.”
Bill said, “You what? How did you do that without the locals noticing?”
I said, “Quickly, with experienced crews. We cleaned up the whole planet in twenty-four hours. You want these folks, or not?”
Bill said, “Follow the lights. I’ll meet you in the bay.” Nikki led us into the bay where the Major wanted us to unload. She had us land side-by-side, and then she came over the comm to all of us. “The bots left rescue eyes on all the saucers. Hook up, drop one off, and move forward to drop the next one. Diego, if you and Bill need help figuring it out, Bob can show you what to do.” I grabbed a grav pallet and hooked up my first saucer. Then I dropped the ramp and ran it out. I unhooked it and hooked up the next one. I could tell Bill and Diego were struggling, so I rode my pallet over to give them a hand. I showed Bill how to work a grav pallet, and how to unfasten the clamps holding the saucers down. Then I showed Diego how to run the crane. By the time I got back, Nikki and the others were nearly done. I hustled to finish my load. By the time I got done, Max was helping Bill finish up. Nikki went around, taking off the exterior locks, one saucer at a time, so the Patrol teams could take the people and their autodocs to medbay. The Major walked up and said, “Everybody got a cargo strap, not just the ones with bounties?”
I replied, “One surprise like that is enough. Even if they had no bad intentions, they could cause quite a bit of trouble, if they woke up disoriented.”
“What is it you and your people say, ‘Murphy is our shepherd’?”
I said, “Indeed. No reason to take chances if we don’t have to.”
The Major asked, “What about these saucers?”
I said, “We fixed up the ones that didn’t have bounties inside, figured those folks would need a way to get back to civilization. The others, we didn’t know if we needed to preserve them for evidence, or if we could claim them for salvage, or just what the deal might be on them.”
The Major called to Tina. She came running over. “Yes, Major?”
“Mr. Wilson would like to know whether these saucers are considered salvage, or if they are to be returned to their owners. Could you run the records on them, please?” She fiddled with her pad, and said, “It looks like all of these have been declared lost by their insurers, and can be considered salvage, except that one in the far corner. It apparently was running without insurance, so no payout was ever made.”
I asked, “So, all these others are property of Bob’s Saucer Repair?”
The Majo
r said, “Yes, I suppose they are. Hurry up and get your junk loaded, while I figure out how much bounty I owe you this time.” I got on the comm to my team and told them what was going on. Nikki asked, “Bob, I’m busy unlocking saucers, could you load up the saucers I need to take back, please?”
I said, “Sure. I’ll get right on it. Mine will be last, anyway.”
I loaded up the two she was taking back. The one we had to leave was one of hers. I was going to help Diego and Bill, but they had switched jobs, and were making much better progress. Diego had a lighter touch on the grav pallet controls. By the time I got back to the Evans, Dingus was helping Nikki load it up. I didn’t see any reason to interfere, so I let them finish. The Major came up, looking flustered. He said, “Bob, if you have any more bounties any time soon, take them to another base. I’m tapped.”
I said, “I didn’t mean to be a problem. I just wanted to get these folks headed back where they belonged. Sorry if we hurt your budget.”
Bill said, “No you’re not, but it’s nice of you to say it, anyway.”
I said, “Fly safe, Bill.”
“You too, Bob.”
We climbed into our ships and headed out. Nikki took us back out the same way we came in, with the transponder signals fading out this time. Then she had us jump back to the Gene. We landed, and all came down out of the ships. Scotti came up to me. “How did you come out, Boss?”
I replied, “Enough bounty money we could hear the Major’s budget screaming in pain all the way back, and we got to keep most of the saucers to fix up.”
Scotti replied, “Topper gave me the specs he’s been fixing them up to. Better than stock, but nowhere near our best. I’ll get some crews on that right away.”
“Good deal. Get with Max and see where he wants them. He might already have orders for them, I don’t know.”
Scotti said, “If you see Mrs. Sloan, could you please tell her the items she wanted me to make are ready to be picked up?”
“Do I dare ask?”
Scotti said, “She didn’t say anything about keeping it a secret, Boss. In fact, she seemed to think you would figure it out as soon as you found out she had stayed behind to work with Janet.”
I replied, “I have a pretty good idea, I think, but I’d like to have it confirmed.”
