by Lorin Grace
twenty
Tessa woke up sometime during the night and found herself curled up on the couch, using Sean as a pillow. It took her a minute to realize the lights had come back on. Sean stretched and muttered something about Thomas Edison having impeccable timing before suggesting they go upstairs to bed. Separately. He repeated the word a couple times as he turned an awkward shade of red.
As predicted, the snow stopped by morning. By the time she got out of bed and was dressed, Sean had plowed most of the church’s sidewalks. The reverend added his church to the list of those not holding morning services.
Wanting to feel useful, Tessa made biscuits and gravy and scrambled some eggs. She didn’t quite prepare for Sean’s post–snow blowing appetite, but no one complained. After breakfast, Tessa accompanied Sean back into the white world to look for neighbors needing help and to uncover fire hydrants. She now saw the wisdom in all the snow they’d removed during the storm yesterday. More than one elderly woman invited them in for a hot drink and some other treat. Every single one talked about how excited they were for that evening’s concert and Christmas program.
Tessa found herself wondering if 7:00 p.m. would ever come.
Just as they were leaving the fourth house, her cell phone dinged. A text from her mother.
Power is out. We are at Grandma’s church as they have a generator. Please don’t come yet.
Tessa pictured the modern building her grandmother attended each Sunday.
— Are you safe and warm?
Yes, but I know they have the freeway open. I don’t want you to come yet.
— I was going to wait for tomorrow. The news said they were asking people to limit nonessential travel.
I knew I raised a smart daughter!
— Love you
At five o’clock she accompanied Sean to the church to “check on things,” as he told his grandfather. They were met by choir members from the various churches who had come to do a quick run-through of key parts of the night’s performance since they had been unable to practice in the church and keep the surprise. Several of the choir members were missing for various reasons, mostly power-outage related, but a few people had chosen to leave town to visit relatives ahead of the storm.
After the practice, Sean and the choir director discussed their disappointment as the effect was not as strong as they hoped.
Tessa bit her lip. She had an idea, but would they like it? “What if you turn the program into a sing-along?”
Both men turned toward her. Sean answered, “A what?”
“When I was twelve, I went with my grandmother to a sing-along Messiah. During the chorus, the director would turn to the audience and have them join in.”
The director rubbed his chin. “That would work, but where would we get enough copies of the music on time?”
Sean scrolled through his phone. “It’s on the internet. People with smartphones can look the music up.”
Tessa couldn’t hide the excitement in her voice. “There are more than a hundred copies in the second storeroom in the cata—I mean cellar.”
The choir director smiled. Sean looked surprised. Both men followed Tessa down the stairs, where she quickly located the box of sheet music. The director flipped through a copy. “These are perfect. A sing-along it is!”
Another surprise awaited Sean as he and Tessa returned to Granda’s to change. A car with Florida plates sat in the driveway. Sean opened the door to the house and blinked twice. Mom and Richard sat on the couch. They both stood as Sean approached.
“Mom, what are you doing here?”
“You think I would miss tonight’s service?” Mom pulled Sean into a hug.
Richard extended his hand. “I’d say she made me drive, but I wanted to come as badly as she did. The drive didn’t get bad until into New Jersey. I’d say New York is at the southern end of the storm. By the time we reached here, they’d opened enough major roads that with the help of our GPS, we found our way.”
Sean turned to Tessa. “I think you need to get whatever app my mom—Roberta—and her––– ”
“Husband.”
Sean’s head whipped back around at his mother’s announcement. His mom held up a hand, showing a beautiful diamond-and-ruby wedding set. “We got married on the cruise this summer. I wanted to tell you in person.”
“Wow.” Sean gave his mother and Richard a hug. He fluctuated between disbelief and the feeling it was about time. “Congratulations. I admit I wish I had been invited. But I am very happy for you.”
“It was kind of a last-minute thing. We were with Richard’s daughter getting her license, and the next thing we knew, we were getting one too.”
“Not like I hadn’t proposed to your mother a half dozen times over the last couple years.” Richard put his arm around Sean’s mom.
“You even asked my permission. I thought you’d chickened out.” Sean laughed.
Mom turned to Tessa. “Now, I believe you were about to introduce us.”
“This is Tessa. She repaired the Nativity window.”
Tessa shook both Richard’s and Mom’s hands.
“Granda was telling us about you. He is so pleased with your work.”
From the smile on his mom’s face, Sean had the distinct feeling Granda had told her much more. The hall clock chimed the half hour. “We really need to get ready. Where are you staying?”
Granda spoke up. “I put them in my old room since Tessa is in the sewing room. But you are right. We’d better hurry!”
The final notes of the Messiah faded away. From the smiling faces around her, it was evident Sean had more than accomplished his goal. Tessa smiled up at Sean. He was grinning ear to ear. No doubt the trumpet pipes had added to his smile. She couldn’t wait to talk to him.
Reverend Cavanagh stood. “Thank you for coming to the annual concert. It is tradition that we go out singing carols to those who could not join us tonight. For those of you who can join us, we’ll make our usual four groups. Those going north on Main, meet in the back left corner.” He pointed. “South on Main in the right. East on High Street up here, and West over there. As soon as you are assembled, my grandson will start us off with “Silent Night.” Remember to start singing as you file out.”
An organized chaos followed. Tessa joined Roberta and Richard near the pulpit, Sean played an introduction, and everyone started singing. The groups each left as they had for generations.
As they filed out, Sean finished playing the first verse and let the music fade. Then he turned off the organ and came down to join them.
His grandfather hugged him. Tears were in the older Cavanagh’s eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing back the Messiah?”
Roberta explained to Tessa, “About five years ago we couldn’t get enough choir members to join us, so we canceled the Messiah portion. Margo always manages to find enough children to be in the pageant and puts any extra children who come in angel costumes and shepherd robes. Since I read the Christmas story from the Bible, they don’t need more than one practice. Then we would carol.”
Sean and his grandfather broke apart. Tessa could see tears in Sean’s eyes as well. “I’d better go ring the bell. Do you want to come, Tessa? I brought an extra set of earplugs.”
Roberta gave Tessa a nudge. “I’ll go get the wassail ready.”
Once again, Tessa followed Sean up the winding staircase. Halfway up, Sean unwound a rope from a hook on the wall.
“That rope wasn’t there last time, was it?”
“No, I came and connected the bell on Friday. Even a few inches of snow make opening the trapdoor difficult. Besides, we don’t want to be up there when it rings.” He let the rope uncoil to floor level and motioned for Tessa to go back down.
When they reached the bottom, Sean checked h
is watch. “Only two minutes.”
“You ring the bell at ten?”
“Yes, all the other churches ring their bells at midnight. But they turn their bells off for the 10:00 p.m. chime on Christmas eve so the old church can be the first to ring in Christmas.”
“That’s a fun tradition.”
“Put in your earplugs and cover your ears.”
Sean pulled the rope.
Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. He smiled at Tessa as he finished the tenth pull.
Christmas was officially here.
twenty-one
Sean tugged Tessa’s hands from her ears and pulled out his own earplugs. She did the same. He wanted to pull her into a hug and kiss her soundly, but she exited the stairwell before he had a chance.
The exterior floodlight illuminated the Nativity window. As Sean and Tessa stopped to look at it, he put his arm around her. “You did an excellent job. Tonight wouldn’t have been right without it.”
“I think your music made tonight really special. I am so glad those pipes showed up.”
Sean started to turn for a kiss, but Tessa stepped away.
“I’m looking forward to your mother’s wassail.” She hurried across the sanctuary to the back door. He followed, wondering what was wrong.
Christmas tunes played from the old stereo. Mom stood in the kitchen, stirring a pot. Granda sat in his chair while Richard fixed the fire. Tessa went to help his mother, or to avoid being with him. He wasn’t sure, so he joined the men.
Richard sat on the couch next to him and nodded to the kitchen. “Do you think she will be with us next year, too?”
Sean blinked at the question. He had never had a relationship last more than a few weeks. Richard knew that.
Granda spoke up. “It would be nice if she was.”
The women laughed in the kitchen. Sean looked over, hoping they hadn’t heard. They came out carrying one tray laden with cups and another filled with goodies. Tessa sat in the other chair, and Mom joined Sean and Richard on the couch.
Granda picked up his cup. “Am I allowed to drink this?”
“I made yours special, so there is no extra sugar. But we will check your blood before you go to bed.” Mom’s years of nursing gave her the knowledge to deal with Granda.
Tessa’s phone rang. She excused herself to the kitchen.
She came back smiling. “My mom and grandma are back in Gran’s house.”
Tessa didn’t say what Sean already knew. She’d be leaving first thing in the morning.
The family continued to eat and talk until Granda fell asleep in his chair and Mom woke him. “I guess it’s time for us to go to bed.”
Granda yawned. “Good thing I don’t do a midnight service. Sean, will you go ring the bells at midnight?”
“You know I will. I can’t let the others ring without us. Night, Granda.”
Tessa started to clean up. Sean went into the kitchen to help, and she handed him a drying towel.
“So, you are leaving in the morning?”
“Yes, thank you for letting me stay. Tonight was incredible.”
“But you’ll be back.”
“Maybe someday. Everyone comes to New York eventually. But I don’t really plan to.”
“Don’t you need to check on the window?”
Tessa studied the soap suds. He couldn’t see her face. “I should, as I am worried about the cementing, but, Sean, I can’t come back.”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t do it again.” She kept her back to him.
“Do what?”
Tessa didn’t speak for a couple minutes, but when she did, she didn’t look at him. “I’m sorry, Sean. I shouldn’t have kissed you or let this become more than casual. I mean, this is more, isn’t it?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I can’t do another long-distance relationship.” Tears trailed down her cheeks.
“Who broke your heart?”
She shook her head. “Does it matter? I wish . . .” Tessa blinked up at him, then ran up the stairs.
Sean rang the midnight bell alone. He sat in the church, staring at the window for what seemed like an eternity before shutting off the outside light and locking up.
The alarm went off at five. Tessa silenced her phone before the second beep, then quickly got dressed and made the bed.
She negotiated the staircase without turning on the light or dropping the suitcase. Light from the dying fire guided her as she set her two packages under the tree and contemplated where to leave the note for Sean.
“Are you really going to leave without saying goodbye?”
Tessa jumped at the sound of Sean’s voice.
“Did you sleep there?”
Sean stood up from the couch. “I was waiting for Santa.”
“Oh.”
“No, Tessa. I couldn’t let you go without saying goodbye.” He opened his arms for a hug.
Tessa hesitated only a second before stepping into his arms. She didn’t want to leave. For a minute, she didn’t care what she’d written in the note. Maybe they could work something out.
When Sean kissed the top of her head, she turned her face up to meet his, and their lips met. The tears she tasted had to be more than her own. She ended the kiss, set the note on the table, and picked up her suitcase.
“Here. Don’t forget your gift.” He handed her a wrapped box about the size of a book.
At the door, she waved. If she opened her mouth, she would start crying harder.
twenty-two
Gertie roared to life, and she was gone. Maybe he shouldn’t have purchased the battery after all.
He picked up the letter she’d left on the table. He didn’t want to read it. She had been going to tell him goodbye in a note. He had been right to vow never to fall in love. For a few crazy minutes, he’d thought long-term, as in the big M word.
The fire crackled and popped. Sean added another log to it and turned back to the couch to find his mother there.
“She is different, isn’t she.”
For a moment, he thought of denying it, but lying to one’s mother was never a good idea. “She was only here two weeks, but, yes, she is different, probably because she isn’t the type of girl I normally find.”
“You mean she wasn’t looking for a temporary man?”
“I don’t think she was looking at all. If it hadn’t been for the movie director, I don’t even know we would have gotten past friendship.”
“Movie director? Maybe you should tell me more.”
Sean found himself telling his mother things he’d never dreamed of sharing with her. Somehow he even told her about the vow he made after Dad had died.
“That explains a lot. Yes, I was a mess after 9/11, but it wasn’t just losing your dad. I was assigned to orthopedics that day, but since I have experience as a triage nurse, I was called down to the ER. I still . . .” Mom grew silent. “Thinking about 9/11 is hard. I knew the wives of so many other firefighters. We always knew the possibility existed of them not coming home from work one day. But we never imagined . . .” She paused again and blew her nose. “Richard has been so good for me. For a while, I think I dated any man who came along. I tried to keep them a secret from you, but I think you knew.”
Sean nodded.
“Anyway, once you went off to college, I realized I needed to change things. Cameron would not want me to live like I was dead. I love working at the retirement center in Florida. Most of the residents are active and don’t need me much. Many are widows who talk of their husbands and the fond memories they shared. Others are bitter about their lives and not very fun to be around. I didn’t want to be one of the latter. Richard showed me how to have fun again. He waited while I healed. He even asked me to go see a counselor.”
“Like we did after?”
“Not exactly. This wasn’t all about dealing with grief. This was about dealing with life. September is always going to be hard for me. But it is easier with Richard. I let those terrorists take more than my husband from me. It took me years to take my life back. I don’t want you to lose your life over that day too.”
“We found Dad’s drawings. I forgot so many fun things about him. Looking at them with Tessa, well, it was like it was okay for me to feel again. She didn’t say any of the stupid things people usually say.” Sean leaned back on the couch. “I think I want to frame a couple of them. But what I really want—” Sean left the sentence hanging. What he wanted was to see if Tessa matched him as well as he thought she did.
“Then find a way to go after her.”
Sean shifted to stand. “How? I don’t even know where she went.”
Mom pulled him into a hug. “You’ll find her. After all, how many Tessas in the world do stained-glass?”
My email is glassgirl@college . . .
Even with Grandma’s cinnamon rolls, Christmas had lost some of its luster. Tessa knew it was because she’d left part of her heart in Blue Pines. She rolled over, searching for a comfortable spot on the hide-a-bed. Had she done the wrong thing? An image of Gavin answering his door popped into her mind, his face fading into Sean’s. Drat her artistic imagination.
An alert chimed on her phone. Maybe it was Candace. She hadn’t dared bug her on Christmas.
An email from [email protected]
She bit her lip and opened it.
Tessa,
Thank you for the bell ornament. Granda loves his star and cross. I know you deliberately didn’t give me your contact information, but when we met, you told me your email. So I did come by this legitimately.
I don’t agree with your note, but I understand you have been hurt. Will you give me a chance to at least write you for a while?
