“How kids today absorb information is different from the way kids used to,” Meghan said. “If allowing them to speak their own language helps them to remember facts, then I don’t see why they shouldn’t be free to express themselves in that way. It might have seemed like a foreign language to you, but they get it.”
“I like rap as much as the next person. But what if they’re not learning as much as you think they are?” Leo queried. “Midterms are coming up, and if this department shows a decline in our students’ grades, that’s not going to look good, Meghan. Please, just stick to the tried-and-true method of having them write down their thoughts.” He glanced down at the sheet of paper in his hand, after which he raised his gaze back to hers. “I hope you’ll take my suggestion in the manner it was intended—to make sure our students get a sound education.”
Meghan rose. “Of course. That’s my goal, as well. Is there anything else?”
“No, that’s it,” Leo said.
“All right. Thank you for your advice.” She turned and left, silently closing the door behind her.
As she walked down the hallway, she felt a little stunned, but not angry. On the contrary, she was worried about Leo because he’d looked so serious, as if it pained him to have to give her a bad evaluation. In her opinion, although she and Leo had some things in common, like they were pet lovers, enjoyed running and long walks, were both quite organized and were close to their families, deep down their philosophies on life were extremely dissimilar. She knew they weren’t going to agree on everything. She was positive that when the results came in after the midterm tests, her methods would be proven worthwhile.
Leo sat in the chair behind his desk, wondering if he had been right to suggest Meghan teach her classes in a less modern manner. The proof, after all, was in the test results after the midterms. On one hand, he had faith in Meghan’s abilities; on the other, as her supervisor, it was his duty to offer suggestions on how she could improve those abilities if he saw something lacking in her performance. The question was, had he come to his conclusions because he was too set in his ways? Was his opinion based on his personal beliefs? And was he trying to mold Meghan in his image?
He needed to speak with Marjorie and ask her those questions. Maybe his working with Meghan wasn’t such a good idea, after all. He had to be unbiased as her supervisor. Yet he cared very much about her well-being, and the thought of her making a fool of herself when it got back to the other members of the faculty that she was allowing her students to rap for a grade rankled.
Also, on a personal front, he was tense because he’d gone to a heart specialist who’d put him on the treadmill for a stress test and had him get an echocardiogram, blood work and myriad other tests to determine what shape his heart was in, and he hadn’t gotten the results yet. He had an appointment with the doctor to get them this afternoon. Frankly, he was on pins and needles worrying about those results.
As for Meghan, she was a trouper. She was supportive and loving and everything he wanted in a mate. He loved her more with each passing day. However, he also grew more and more certain he was going to lose her because he still hadn’t told her about his sterility. The guilt was eating him alive. He was putting so much stock in those test results. If they came back in his favor, at least he would have one thing working for him. Then, perhaps, he could break the bad news to her. I’m sterile, sweetheart, but at least I’m not going to suddenly drop dead on you!
Later that day, Leo was able to catch up with Marjorie in the faculty lounge near the English department’s offices. The place was pretty busy, with the buzz of voices of other faculty members conducting lively conversations. Marjorie was at a table with her laptop open before her. She was sipping coffee when she looked up and saw Leo approaching.
She smiled and set her coffee down. She looked sharp today in black slacks and dark gold silk blouse with bold black onyx earrings in her lobes and black three-inch-heeled pumps. Her hair had grown, and now she wore it in a sophisticated, sleek pageboy.
“Ah, Leo, how did your meeting go with Meghan? I got your email. Though I haven’t had time to respond to it.”
Leo’s hand was on the other chair at her table. “May I?”
“Please do,” Marjorie said casually. She picked up her cup and took another sip, her keen eyes on his face.
Leo told her about his fears that he might be imposing his own feelings on Meghan’s teaching style, and he wanted to run it by Marjorie to make sure he wasn’t doing that.
“Of course you’re doing it,” Marjorie said. “We all impose our views on others. We’ve always done that. People feel comfortable around the familiar. However, Meghan’s style can only be judged on its value by how the students respond to it. Therefore, we should wait and see.” She smiled warmly. “I hope that answers your question.”
Leo sighed with relief. “I thought I was being hard on her.”
Marjorie laughed, “Meghan’s tougher than that. She probably feels bad for you.” She suddenly raised her brows as if a thought had just hit her. “Oh, I’m glad you sought me out. I wanted to tell you that I’m sending you and Meghan to a professors’ conference in San Francisco so you can mingle with teachers from all over the country and pick their brains and let them pick yours. Then you two can come back here refreshed and ready to rock our world with your ideas. In other words, you two can duke it out at the conference. Maybe you’re right and Meghan should tone down her style of teaching. On the other hand, maybe you’re a stick-in-the-mud who should try something new,” she laughed. “At any rate, I think we’ll all benefit. Are you game?”
Leo looked skeptical. “When is it?”
“In a couple of months,” Marjorie informed him. “The midterms will be over with by then, and school will be out for summer vacation.”
“Have you spoken with Meghan about this?”
“Nope,” Marjorie said happily. “You’re the supervisor. You talk to her. I’ll have my assistant email the information to you.”
“All right,” Leo said, rising. “Thanks, Marjorie.”
“My pleasure,” Marjorie said. “You’re doing a good job as supervisor, Leo. We work as a team to make this department as effective as we possibly can. That means we have to exchange ideas. Meghan is a professional. She understands that.”
Leo was confident that what Marjorie said was true. He still didn’t know what kind of reception he was going to get from Meghan when he saw her next. After he’d had his say earlier, she’d walked out of his office without a backward glance, so he had not seen the expression in her eyes. That would have given him some clue as to how she felt about his evaluation.
“I’m sure you’re right,” he said and made himself scarce.
Chapter 14
“Can I have that in writing?” Leo asked, his heart, his healthy heart, beating excitedly.
His new cardiologist, Dr. Aaron Lindsey, had just told him he couldn’t find anything wrong with his heart. He told him even though he’d been diagnosed with a heart murmur when he was a child, children often grow out of them, and apparently, that was exactly what Leo had done. “The cardiac catheterization and echocardiogram, which I see from your medical records you’ve been getting done at least once a year, plus an excellent stress test, show me a normal, healthy heart, Dr. Wolfe.”
“Oh, please call me Leo.”
“Leo, I’m surprised no one has seen fit to put you through more extensive tests over the years. I’ve seen this happen many times before—a person lives with the fear of sudden death when, all along, they’re as healthy as the next person. I’m sorry you’ve had this experience.”
While Leo was supremely relieved nothing was wrong with his heart, he was naturally upset no other health professional had seen fit to look into the possibility that his condition might have changed. “Why do you think no one spotted this before you did?” he asked the doctor.
“Because medical professionals are not good at communicating,” the cardiologist told him. “I hope it’s getting better. I bet every time you had an echocardiogram, you were told your heart sounded normal and you interpreted that to mean your heart’s valves weren’t worsening. Therefore you were doing all right and you should continue eating right, exercising and not smoking. Am I right?”
Leo nodded. “Yes, I thought I was doing what was necessary to live longer.”
Dr. Lindsey laughed shortly, “And you were. You’re in great health. I wish all my patients were as healthy as you are. Oh, wait, then I’d be out of a job.”
They laughed. Leo shook the doctor’s hand. “Thank you. Now if I can find a good fertility specialist, I’ll be set.”
“Life gave you a double whammy, huh?” the cardiologist asked sympathetically. “I have a recommendation for you.” He opened his desk drawer and retrieved a notepad. He quickly scribbled a name on it and handed the slip of paper to Leo. “Dr. Angela Omoro is a very thorough physician with an investigative mind. A good doctor has to be a good detective, you know.”
Leo breathed a sigh of relief. He wished he’d run into one of those investigative physicians when he was younger. Maybe he wouldn’t have developed such a pessimistic view of life. There were years of negativity he had to purge from his system. Living with the possibility of sudden death had surely helped shape the man he was today.
He thanked Dr. Lindsey again and left, feeling much lighter and more optimistic about life than he’d felt in years. He couldn’t wait to share the news with Meghan.
However, by the time he’d gotten to his car, he’d decided that it would be a better idea to wait until he’d gone to the fertility specialist and gotten the results of what would probably be quite a few tests to determine if, indeed, he’d been born without the vas deferens, the main pipelines from the testicles, which made it possible to impregnate his partner.
He’d been lucky once. Maybe his luck would hold out and he’d be given more good news. Whatever the results were, he had made up his mind he was going to tell Meghan the truth as soon as he had the results of the fertility tests.
As he walked to the parking garage where he’d left his car, he pulled out his cell phone and asked Google to find the phone number for Dr. Angela Omoro. He wasn’t surprised to learn she was affiliated with Duke University Hospital, just as Dr. Lindsey was.
* * *
Meghan was barely home from work when her mother phoned her with a request. “I want you and Leo to come to brunch tomorrow. Your father and I think it’s about time we met him.”
“You’ve already met him,” Meghan said. “You met him at Mina’s wedding and your anniversary party.”
“You know what I mean,” Virginia said testily. “You two were not dating then. We want to meet the man who has the temerity to date our baby girl. I can’t make it plainer than that.”
Meghan winced. No, she certainly could not.
“First of all,” Meghan began, her brain trying to come up with an excuse not to go. “You’ve got to tone it down a bit. I won’t have you putting Leo through the third degree. Second, if we come, we’ll have to bring the dogs because it’s too late to find a puppy sitter. And you don’t like dogs.”
Virginia harrumphed. Then she laughed softly. “This time, I’m going to make an exception. Bring your pets. The backyard is fenced. They’ll be fine out there for a couple of hours. Remember to bring your little blue bags.”
Meghan tried not to laugh, but ended up doing so anyway. Her mother had her. “Fine. What time should we be there?”
“Eleven,” Virginia answered, a satisfied note to her voice. “Dress casually. We’re eating on the deck.”
“All right. Thank you for inviting us,” Meghan said.
“Thank you for agreeing to come,” Virginia said politely.
Meghan hung up. Temerity her mother had said. Excessive boldness or audacity. What made her mother say such things?
As if Leo had to be brave to date her. As if her mother thought no one was good enough for her.
She just had to laugh at her mother’s behavior sometimes.
Right this minute, though, she needed to jump into the shower because it was Friday night, and Leo would be there in two hours. She wondered how he was going to behave after giving her a bad evaluation today. Would he be shy and hesitant to bring up the subject? She hoped not, because she had no hard feelings about the situation. It was her wish to keep business separate from their personal lives. Their workday was over, and now it was time to be a loving couple.
When she opened the door for him, he stood there with a beautiful bouquet of flowers that he thrust at her, a huge grin on his face and his beautiful brown eyes shining with joy.
Malcolm squeezed between his master’s leg and the doorway, barking hello to Meghan and running over to Chauncey, who affectionately nudged the side of his head with her nose.
Meghan accepted the flowers, stepped back to allow Leo entrance and, if truth be told, sniffed him as he came in for a kiss because she thought her Mr. Darcy might have been imbibing a little wine, he looked so happy. But no, he didn’t smell or taste like alcohol. They did an awkward dance there in the foyer with her arms full of flowers, his enthusiasm and the dogs attempting to trip them.
“Hello, beautiful,” he said, his normal greeting lately.
“Hello yourself.” She smiled as she walked past him and went to the kitchen to find a vase. Leo followed. “You look especially joyful tonight,” she said. “Did something unusual happen to you today?”
“I’m just happy to see you,” Leo said. “And happy that you don’t seem upset by my evaluation today.”
He sat on one of the island’s stools while she was reaching into the cabinet above the sink where she kept a couple of crystal vases. After grabbing one, she filled it with water and put the flowers in it.
“We need to keep work and our personal lives separate,” she said. She came and set the vase in the middle of the island. “I don’t care what you say to me as my supervisor, Leo. I’m not bringing that home.”
She walked around the large island and into the circle of his arms. Looking into his eyes, she said, “Thank you for the flowers. I love you unconditionally. That means I’m going to love you when we have disagreements and when everything is wonderful between us.”
* * *
Leo buried his nose in the side of her neck, inhaling the enticing scent of her skin. Honeysuckle tonight, with a hint of cinnamon. At that moment, he wanted to tell her everything so badly that he was trembling inside with the desire to do so. But he didn’t. He had a plan. When he finally told her, it was going to be in San Francisco at a luxury hotel, where the backdrop would be undeniably romantic. He would give her the good news first: no heart murmur. Then, if he was lucky, he would tell her that for years he had thought he was incapable of fathering children and the knowledge had made him severely depressed, but everything had changed since he met her. Then he planned to ask her to marry him.
Of course, if the news was bad concerning his infertility, he would still confess everything. It was the asking her to marry him part that might not get said. Because once she found out he couldn’t perform the one imperative every male on earth, animal or human, was obsessed with, that of propagating and spreading his seed, she would undoubtedly leave him standing on that balcony he envisioned in the dream scenario in his head.
“I love you, too, babe,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I love you so much, I’d do anything to keep you in my arms. Anything.”
Meghan beamed with pleasure. “That sounds good to me.”
They kissed again, and when they came up for air, Leo said, “Oh, I do have some news for you. Marjorie wants to send us to San Francisco this summer to attend a professors’ conference. What do you think of that?”
Meghan’s smile got broader. “I’v
e always wanted to go to one of those, but I never got the chance. Budget cuts and all that.”
“Well, I read the information Marjorie’s assistant emailed me, and it looks like the school will pay for everything—travel, registration fees and accommodations.”
“That sounds wonderful,” Meghan said. “I can’t wait!”
Leo squeezed her. “I’m glad you’re excited about it. And I want you to know that I’m going to take every opportunity to spoil you.”
“You already spoil me every day just by loving me,” Meghan said. She kissed him high on his cheek. “You don’t know how much your love means to me. I thought I would never find a man who could love me just as I am. I’m a peculiar woman, Leo. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I’m stubborn and opinionated.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Leo interrupted her. “Being stubborn can be a good quality when it makes you stick to your beliefs. You’ve got a lot of faith in mankind, Meghan. It’s one of your sweetest characteristics, your utter faith that we’re all deserving of kindness and happiness. You’re patient with those of us who’re more cynical about life. I have to admit, I’m more optimistic since I met you. You’re good for me.”
Meghan had tears in her eyes as she gazed up at him. “And you’re good for me,” she said softly. Putting her arms around his neck, she offered him her mouth. “Now, be good to me, Mr. Darcy, and make love to me.”
Leo bent his head and met her mouth in a passionate kiss filled with all the love inside of him, past, present and what was to come. Meghan was his everything. He didn’t know what he would do if he ever lost her.
Later, they lay wrapped in each other’s arms, smiling contentedly. “My mother wants us to come to brunch tomorrow. I’ve already accepted for us, but if you’d rather not, I’d understand. She can be intimidating, and if you’re not ready for the ‘meet the parents’ stage yet, we can put it off.”
Love in San Francisco ; Unconditionally Page 32
