“Yes,” I heard myself answer. “I’ll meet you there.”
Chapter Nineteen
Oliver
For whatever reason, our celebratory drink-fest at The Study felt like a funeral. The more I thought about starting Harvard the next fall, the more I wanted to drink.
Josh and I slumped over the bar, the pitcher between us. “Did you call your parents yet?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Nah. I’ll wait until tomorrow.”
He threw me a side-eyed glance. “What’s your deal? You don’t seem happy.”
“I am, I think. Really.” I reached for the pitcher.
In all honesty, I didn’t know what my problem was. I’d wanted to go to Harvard Law all my life, until Taryn asked me why I wanted to be a lawyer and I couldn’t answer. Now the thought of three years of law school suddenly made me want to vomit.
When Rachel walked through the bar toward the stage and the band, I waved to her. “Hey,” I shouted.
She offered me and Josh hugs and pointed to the dance floor. “Sorority get together. Want to join?”
Josh peeked into the stage area, but I shook my head.
“Oh, Taryn’s with us too,” Rachel added. “Tipsy.”
I sat up straight, suddenly sober. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine. Come say hi!” Rachel grabbed my arm.
Josh grabbed the other one. “Don’t you dare, Oliver,” he said. “You make bad decisions when you’re drunk.”
Ignoring him, I jerked my arm back and grabbed my mug off the bar. This night was turning up.
“Damn it,” I heard Josh say behind me. “Wait up.”
I didn’t wait up, but I knew he’d follow as I weaved my way through the crowd.
* * *
Taryn
When my blurry eyes spotted Oliver walking toward me all adorable and preppy, I knew I had about ten seconds to make a very important decision. Being on my way to wasted, I had to get my wits about me.
Should I tell him about Violet?
The answer was yes. Of course I should have, without a second thought. Hell, maybe she’d already called him. But as he got closer, I made out the look in his eye. The same look he’d had hovering over me while we’d had sex all weekend. The serious, sexy, out of his mind but completely in control look that twanged every hormone in my body. I was certain he didn’t know about Vi.
In that moment, I made the bad choice. One more night. If I could have one more night with Oliver, then I’d be able to give him up forever.
And besides, who was I to ruin Violet’s surprise?
* * *
Oliver
I could tell she was tipsy by the way she smiled at me, like she didn’t care if the entire world figured out that we’d been together all weekend. Her jeans were tight. Her bootie shoes mocked me. Her hair begged for a hand in it. My body tightened at the sight of her, knowing what she offered and remembering the magic of the weekend.
Ignoring Rachel and her sorority sisters, I beelined for Taryn. Josh was bombarded by girls and fell behind.
I moved close to talk in her ear. “Need to be with you again. You get to be in control.”
With a sexy smirk, she took my hand and led me out the back door. We ran down Mill Street—me texting Josh, her texting Rachel—until we got to the general store and the alley.
As she climbed the rackety stairs to the apartment, I playfully smacked her ass. “Your jeans are too tight. I don’t like them.”
She turned and stomped down the two stairs to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Then take them off,” she countered. “So we’re allowing ourselves one more night?”
“Yes, please.” I loved this fantasy world we had created where we could be together without pressure. No law school, no Violet, no college, families, or responsibilities. Just us together, appreciating each other.
We ran up the stairs and she unlocked the door. Once we were inside, there was no slow go. No love making. Just hurried kissing, hands all over, tangled limbs, clothes flying, laughter. Taryn wanted a drunken romp and that’s what I gave her. She told me what to do, and I got to do it. Life was pretty damn good.
Although the best part came after, when her hair lay across my chest as she slept snuggled into my side. “I don’t want to let you go,” I whispered.
She didn’t answer, but whether she heard me or not didn’t matter. It was what it was.
* * *
Taryn
The sun snuck through the blinds and lit Oliver’s face as he lay next to me on Tuesday morning. Hungover, I rubbed my temples and pieced together the night before—the last night we’d spend together. All I could remember at the moment was that we’d had fun. I remembered laughing and talking. Ice cubes being trailed down my torso. I twisted next to him, wondering if I should wake him up for another round.
Then I stopped myself. Today didn’t belong to me and Ollie; it belonged to Vi and Ollie, even if he didn’t know it yet.
Maybe I should have told him that she was coming back and that she wanted him. Maybe he’d have wanted to talk about it, to make decisions, to freak out. But if I was being honest, my real fear was that I’d tell him and he wouldn’t do any of those things. He’d just say goodbye. That would be so much worse.
I didn’t think I could wake up to him without crying. He’d ask what was wrong, I’d tell him, and then we’d have to face the truth. Violet would be home by dinnertime. She wanted Ollie back. Until my interference, Ollie had wanted her too. Three would definitely be a crowd, and I wasn’t going to get in the way of their dysfunctional, happy world.
So I avoided him. Snuck out of bed, got dressed, and walked to campus. I texted him on the way.
Me: Thank you for last night. Had to get to class. Left the extra key on the counter for you to lock up.
Outside, fall had hit hard and I was underdressed in a hoodie and my jeans. Even though I shivered, I stopped at the bench in front of the library where Ollie and I had made our deal—he’d help me with my paper, and I’d help him get Violet back. Felt like we were two different people back then. Maybe we were.
I sat and pulled my knees up to my chest. Then I rested my forehead on them and cried.
Just for a minute. Then I wiped my tears and popped off the bench, straightening my posture and lifting my chin. I repeated the words my mother used to tell me. You are Taryn Michelle Markos, and you are the world. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I headed for my communications seminar with determined steps.
This wasn’t me. I wasn’t the cry-on-a-bench-over-a-guy type of girl. I was a strong, independent woman who made big decisions, took on lovers, and never had a problem keeping sex in its compartment.
There were a million—no, a billion—other guys in the world. Vi could keep her nerdy lawyer, trapped in his precious city by a job he didn’t want. Fuck them both.
His text tone was like an alarm that brought me back to the real world. I pulled out my phone, opened his message, and then stopped dead in my tracks.
Ollie: I think I’m falling in love with you.
My first reaction was the warm and fuzzies, but I pushed it down and let my anger loose. I typed back, “Fuck you. Then be with me,” but erased it before sending. I read his words again. He thinks he loves me? Typing those words couldn’t have been easy for him.
I pressed my lips together and looked up at the sky. Without replying, I put the phone on silent and tossed it into my bag.
Chapter Twenty
Oliver
Taryn hadn’t responded to my text which made me twitchy. Maybe she was hungover? Busy? Something definitely felt off.
After she’d texted me earlier that morning, I’d loaded up on Advil and ransacked Violet’s room, looking for something to wear to class. Catching a glimpse of myself in Vi’s mirror, I froze, the fucked-upness of what I was doing hitting me hard. The photo of Vi and me at the prom stood there, a little dusty. I picked it up and blew on it, watching the dust fly off.
We’
d been so happy that night. Being at prom with Violet was one of my favorite memories.
Until this weekend.
I looked at the prom picture and it felt like the past. Like something wonderful that needed to be put on a shelf and remembered on special occasions. When I thought about Taryn, I focused on the future. Not a future of law school and townhouses in Manhattan. That was all material stuff. When I thought about a future with Taryn, I pictured myself happy. Maybe the problem with my plan with Violet was just that—it was a plan—while my fantasy about Taryn was a goddamn dream. After realizing that, I texted her that I was falling in love with her.
It didn’t escape me that she hadn’t yet replied.
I found an old pair of khakis, tossed on my NJU sweatshirt, took the extra key, and stepped out into the world, squinting from the sun’s brightness. I’d drank too much the night before, but at least I was in one piece.
With a proverbial pat on my back, I crossed Mill Street to the campus green. Thanksgiving was Thursday and students were wound up, scurrying around, coming and going. Violet would be home on Thursday too. I didn’t know how to feel about that.
I was one of the only people to show for my presidential powers seminar. After spending most of the time bullshitting with the professor, I went back to my apartment, had lunch with Josh, and took a shower.
By dinner time, I was a mess wondering why Taryn hadn’t texted me back. She’d also been ignoring my calls. Something was definitely up. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I grabbed her extra apartment key and headed back to Mill Street.
When I made it to the alley, I glanced at the spot where Taryn and I had kissed. With a smile, I climbed up the stairs to the apartment.
I banged on the door. “Tar?”
No answer. I could tell from the little the window over the door that the lights were on inside. “Tar?” I yelled again. “Talk to me.”
Relief swept through me when the door swung open. “Thank God, I’ve been—”
I almost fell over when Violet smiled and squealed, holding up her arms.
“Vi?” I asked, as if I was questioning her existence.
“Surprise!” she sang, waiting for me to embrace her.
My body felt like it weighed a ton as I took the step toward her.
She flung her arms around my waist. “I missed you so much.”
Like I was in some other universe, I returned her hug, unable to find words. She felt tiny in my arms after holding Taryn all weekend. Her hair smelled like strawberries, and my fingers got caught in the curls. I was getting used to the smooth feel of Taryn’s blond hair and the vanilla scent. Everything about Violet felt foreign for a long second.
She whispered in my ear. “Thank you for giving me the space I needed. I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m back now, okay? We can be together.”
With my chin resting on her hair, I squeezed my eyes shut. Soon, the feel of her, her words, settled me. I murmured the only thing I could at the moment. “Okay.”
She pulled away to look at me. “I have so much to tell you. What have you been up to?”
I stepped into the apartment and looked around for Taryn. If she was there, she was hiding in her room. The place was spotless, with no visible evidence of the past weekend, almost like my time with Taryn hadn’t happened in real life. “Just classes.”
She snuck up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “What did you need Taryn for?”
I stiffened in her grasp. “Me?”
“Yeah. When you knocked you said, ‘Tar, we need to talk,’ or something like that. You two aren’t fighting, are you?”
I shook my head. “Um, no. It’s…I was helping her with her paper.” I turned to face Vi. “Is she here?”
“You just missed her. She’s trying to catch a train, to start Thanksgiving weekend early. I only saw her about five minutes before she darted out.” Vi stood on her tiptoes and laced her hands behind my neck. “That means we’re all alone.”
There was no mistaking the look in her eye. She wanted to get naked. Fuck my life. I couldn’t be with Violet, not without talking to Taryn, maybe not ever again.
I cleared my throat and unwound her arms from my neck. Holding her hands, I looked her in the eye, reminding myself that I hadn’t betrayed her. “I need a little time.”
She yanked her hands away. “What?”
Swallowing hard, I thought of Taryn and kept my strength. “You broke up with me, and now all of a sudden, you want me back? That’s not fair.”
“I thought... I’m sorry.” She furrowed her brow, her brown eyes studying mine.
“I’m not a switch, Vi. You can’t turn me on and off at your whim. Five minutes ago, I was working on getting over you. Now you’re here in front of me.”
“I wanted to surprise you. Why are you being such a jerk?”
Was I being a jerk? I wasn’t sure. “Don’t get upset. I’m happy you’re back, and I did miss you.” That was the truth, for the most part. “I need time to readjust, okay?”
She pressed her lips together and shrugged. “Well, you have two hours because we’re having dinner with our parents in the city. They found out that you got into Harvard, and they, like me, wanted to surprise you.”
The last thing I wanted to do was dinner with the four parents. Ignoring the snark in her voice, I said, “I’m sorry, Violet. You’ve been gone for seven weeks without a word except for a couple of Instagram posts. I’m glad that you’re willing to give me another chance, but…”
“But what, Oliver? Is there someone else?”
I gulped but shook my head. “No.” I couldn’t tell her about Taryn yet. It could ruin their friendship and destroy all three of us. “But I’m trying to change myself for the better. I need…”
“Space,” she finished. “It’s the same thing I said to you a few months ago.”
Cringing, I couldn’t disagree. I didn’t know what I wanted with Violet. All I knew at the moment was that I needed to screw my head on straight and find Taryn, before she got on that train.
I kissed Violet’s head. “I have to run, but I’ll be back in an hour to go to the city. We’ll talk more later, okay?”
She grimaced. “Yep.”
Vi was definitely miffed, but I didn’t really care. My thoughts were logical. She couldn’t walk in and out of my life whenever she wanted and assume I’d still be there waiting. Without engaging her further, I turned and left, surprising myself. A few weeks ago, it would have never crossed my mind to tell her no.
Outside, I broke into a sprint to get to the train station.
* * *
Taryn
I hated trains. Especially during commuter time on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, one stop away from New York City. But here I was.
Holding my bag over my shoulder, I weaved in and out of the crowd until I found a spot where I felt safe enough to hide and avoid eye contact. The platform was packed, and I’d have to stay alert so that when the next train arrived and the doors slid open, I could dart on before they shut again. I already dreaded standing on the crowded train, as I was sure all of the seats would be taken.
I plugged in my earbuds and looked down at my phone, noticing the text.
Ollie: You should have told me Vi was back. We need to talk.
But I had nothing to say to him. His relationship with Violet was between them, and I had no place in the conversation. He’d have to sort out whatever, if anything, he was feeling for me. I wasn’t going to make it easy on him and beg him not to get back together with Violet. The time had come for Oliver to put on his big boy pants and take control of his own life.
More importantly though, I wasn’t going to let him leave her for me. If Oliver left Violet, it would be solely because of him.
The train pulled up with a roar. The subway creatures gathered on the platform got into position, angling toward the edge before the train even stopped. But the train was so crowded that when the doors opened, nobody could fit on. Then they closed again
, and the train took off.
Damn, this was going to be a long night. I debated getting an Uber, but the hour drive would cost a fortune. Maybe I’d spend the night at Rachel’s and try again first thing in the morning.
I texted her as I walked up the stairs, back to the street and the NJU campus. Her response was immediate.
Rachel: YES! Sleepover! Ordering pizza now…
I smiled at the phone, texted her a thumbs-up emoji, and hit send, just about the same time I walked into a body. “Sor—”
Oliver held my elbows and stared down at me.
People made a path around us as we stood there, taking each other in. I rolled my eyes, wiggled out of his grasp, and walked around him.
He followed. “Stop avoiding me.”
When we were back on campus away from the station crowd, I turned and sighed. “What do you want, Ollie?”
“Vi’s back early. I know you knew before last night. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“She wanted it to be a surprise.” It sounded dumb as soon as I said it. “And you should have told me that you got into law school. You knew that too.”
When Violet had told me, I’d almost thrown up. Not only because he hadn’t thought to confide in me about it but because Oliver getting into law school meant that he’d be in Massachusetts soon. It was all part of his plan—the plan that didn’t include me.
“I’m sorry.” He covered his eyes as he rubbed his face.
I resisted the urge to reach out to him. The resolve I’d had just minutes ago threatened to disappear. “I’m sorry too. I took advantage of you last night. I didn’t know how to handle Vi coming back.”
When he looked back at me, I could see the tiredness in his eyes. “Remember our honesty pact? Can we just talk?”
Breaking the Plan: Mill Street Series #1 Page 17
