by Kaylee Ryan
It blocks us from the sun, and there’s a small warm breeze once we’re settled onto the wooden bench. Peeking down at Knox, he’s still snoozing away. I take a minute to just close my eyes and let the breeze blow through my hair. It’s so peaceful here.
I feel lips press against my forehead, causing my eyes to pop open.
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Ridge says softly.
I smile. “Hey, get everything taken care of?”
“Yeah, I’ve been back for about ten minutes or so.”
“Did you see my note?” I hope he wasn’t worried.
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, only to have the wind whip it right back out. “I’ve been watching you sleep.”
“Creeper.” I smile.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, bending to kiss me.
I blush. “What time is it?”
“After seven. Let’s get you two inside.” He stands and offers me his hand. Once he pulls me up, he grabs the diaper bag and we walk back to the house, arms wrapped around each other. “You made dinner,” he says, closing the door behind us.
“Well, not really. I put frozen lasagna in the Crock-Pot. It was slim-pickings and you had the base of the car seat, so I was kind of stuck.” Not that he would’ve wanted me driving around town with his son.
“We need to get you one,” he says casually.
“One what?”
“A base for his car seat.”
Okay then. I guess I got my answer. “I just need to put the garlic bread in the oven, and it’ll be ready in about ten minutes.”
“I got it. You want me to take him?”
“No, he probably needs changed, and he hasn’t eaten since the diner. I took a bottle with us down to the pond, but he never woke up to eat.”
“Where did you find that thing?” He points to my chest.
“In the bottom of his closet. I gave him a bath so you wouldn’t have to, and I was looking for the clothes hamper and just happened to find this.”
“Little man has all the luck.” He smiles.
“Oh, yeah, and what makes you say that?”
“He got to sleep on your chest all afternoon.”
Again, I feel the heat creep across my cheeks.
“Charmer.”
“I speak the truth.” He winks.
I manage to get Knox out of the wrap without harming either one of us. As soon as I do, he starts to fuss and I know he’s hungry. A quick diaper change and he’s having dinner.
“I can feed him,” Ridge says, looking over at me from the back of the couch.
“It’s fine, Ridge. I don’t mind helping. This little guy is easy to fall for.”
“Oh, yeah? And what about his daddy?”
“Jury’s still out,” I tease.
He laughs and kisses the top of my head. “It’s ready. I’ll bring plates in here. What do you want to drink?”
“Just water.”
I insist on Ridge eating before me while Knox finishes his bottle. The two of them play on the floor while I eat and watch them.
“I thought spending the day with you would help this craving I seem to have where you’re concerned.”
I just about choke on my garlic bread. I cough, chew, swallow and take a drink of water before asking, “And?”
“Not even close. I hate that you’re going home soon.”
“Hey, you’ll see me tomorrow though, right? Knox has his one-month appointment.”
“Yeah, it’s first thing. That way, I can just take him to Mom after then head to work.”
“Good plan. Then your parents are having their Memorial Day cookout this weekend. Reagan invited Dawn and me, but. . . .”
“I want you there, Kendall. Not as a friend of Reagan’s, but as my girlfriend. And that’s not until Saturday night. No way in hell am I going from spending the day with you today to a quick visit at your work and then not again until Saturday. No way. I need more time with you.”
“I’m home most days by five, unless I’m covering for one of the girls. You let me know when you have time.”
“Every night after five.” He laughs. “All the way through until . . . What time do you leave for work?”
“That’s a lot of time.” I smile at him.
“I don’t know if any amount of time with you will ever be enough.” He says it almost as if he’s talking to himself, all the while looking at Knox. Someone walking in on our conversation would think he was talking about his son, and he very well may be, but I also know those words are for me.
I stay long enough to help him clean up the kitchen, and then head home. He walks me to my car and gives me a good-bye kiss that I won’t soon forget, with a promise from me that I’ll let him know I make it home safe.
Ridge and I have been official for over a month now. I met his parents at their Memorial Day cookout, and he met mine when they showed up at my grandparents’ house to check out all the work. Ridge promised me that they didn’t say anything to embarrass me.
This is a short workweek, today being my last day since Saturday is the Fourth of July. My office is closed on Friday in observance of the holiday. Gotta love three-day weekends.
Ridge and I are going out tomorrow night, just the two of us; Reagan’s going to watch Knox at his place. I’m excited and nervous. We’ve spent every day together this past month, since each night after work, I stop by his place and we have dinner together. It’s just easier with Knox and all his stuff being there. It’s a lot to travel with a baby to anticipate what you might need.
Normally, I would feel guilty leaving Dawn at home so much by herself, except that’s not the case. She and Mark really hit it off and have been spending a lot of time together. I’m happy for her.
Me: Leaving work now. Have to stop by the house and change. You home yet?
Ridge: Yep. The boys and I took off early today.
Me: Lucky. See you soon.
Ridge: Be safe, babe.
I place my phone in the cup holder and pull out of the parking lot. I’m ready for this weekend, and excited for tomorrow night with Ridge. Dawn is staying at Mark’s, so we’ll have my place to ourselves, if that’s where the night leads. If our make-out sessions are any indication, or Ridge’s vow that I’m killing him, I would say the chances are good.
Chapter 35
I let the guys off early today. I’ve been ramped up on excitement, surprising Kendall with a night away. I’ve antagonized over leaving Knox, but Reagan will have him at my house. He’ll be in a familiar setting, and regardless of how she pouts when Kendall’s around, he loves his Aunt Reagan. He also loves my girl.
I’ve been taking things slow with her physically. I know my bet involving Stephanie worried her; I could see it in her eyes. I wanted to make sure she knew she’s what I want, not just what she can give me—not because she loves my kid, but because of who she is. I’ve found willpower I didn’t even know I had. She’s stayed over a few nights and it was hard as hell—literally and figuratively—to hold her next to me all night and not know what she feels like from the inside. Tonight, I plan to change that.
I need her. It’s way past want; I literally feel like I need her to breathe. I’m falling for her. Every day, something will happen that has me giving her another tiny piece of my heart. From the way she sends me messages out of the blue, just to say hello, to the way she seems to melt into me every time I touch her. She’s great with Knox and my parents, sister, and friends all adore her. They’re not the only ones. My son lights up when she walks into a room. I should be worried that he’s growing attached to her. Hell, he’s only two months old, but you can see it when he hears her voice. He loves her. I’m not worried though because, like my son, I’m well on my way.
Mark gave me Dawn’s number and she packed a bag for her. He brought it to me to work this morning. I waited for him or the guys to ride my ass about it, but surprisingly none of them said a word.
I’m just finished putting away the groceries Reagan requested when I he
ar Knox waking up from his nap over the baby monitor. I rush upstairs to get him. “Hey, little man. You have a good nap?”
He coos and flaps his little arms. “You remember what tonight is, right? Aunt Reagan is going to have a sleepover while Daddy and Kendall have one as well, just not here close to little ears.”
I change his diaper and grab his binky before heading downstairs. We settle on the floor under his baby gym, which he loves. That’s how Reagan and Tyler find us twenty minutes later.
“Hey, you two,” Reagan says, taking a seat on the couch. Tyler follows behind her.
“Hey, man,” I greet him. Not sure exactly what he’s doing here, because he knows I’m leaving with Kendall tonight.
“This one forgot to put oil in her car and it wouldn’t start.”
That explains it. “Sister, I told you to get your oil changed weeks ago.”
“I know, I know, I just forgot. Don’t worry, Mom and Dad said they would bring me one of theirs in case there’s an emergency.”
I panic slightly at the thought of there being an emergency involving my son while I’m away having what I hope to be a magical night with my girlfriend. Reagan must see it on my face.
“Chill, Daddy. He’ll be fine. It’s just better safe than sorry.”
“I’ll be around, man. Don’t stress. You’ve been looking forward to this,” Tyler says.
“Thanks. It’s just . . . I’ve never spent the night away from him.”
“And if it were for anyone other than Kendall I’d give you shit for it, but it’s her, man.” He says it as if just her name explains it all. I guess it does.
Reagan tries to take Knox from me, but I hold him tight. We sit around and talk for the next twenty minutes or so until I hear her pull up. “She doesn’t know,” I remind them. “Just play it cool.”
Tyler throws his head back and laughs. “Dude, it’s not us you need to worry about. You’re a wreck.”
“Hello,” Kendall’s sweet voice calls as she enters the house. “Hey, didn’t expect to see you two.” Leaning down, she hugs Reagan and kisses Tyler on the cheek. I glare at him, which causes him to laugh even harder. “What did I miss?”
“Nothing, just your man being jealous,” Reagan tells her.
“Hello, handsome,” she says, leaning toward me. Only her lips connect with Knox’s forehead.
“Kendall,” I growl. She knows I need those lips first thing.
She giggles and places a tender kiss on my lips. “I missed you,” she whispers.
Gone.
G.O.N.E for this girl.
“Missed you too, sweet girl,” I whisper back.
She takes the seat beside me. “Gimme.” She holds her hands out for Knox, and he smiles.
I hand him over, partly because I want them both in my arms and it’s easier if she’s holding him, and partly because I know she’s attached to my boy. As soon as I have Knox transferred to her arms, I reach behind her, grip her hips, and lift them onto my lap. She doesn’t even yelp in surprise anymore; she expects my caveman antics. It’s not something I can control, or have even tried to. I want them close, always.
“So, what are the two of you into?” she asks Tyler and my sister.
“I asked them to stop by,” I say, rubbing circles on her legs.
“You all want to do dinner?” she asks.
“Actually, babe, I have a surprise for you.”
She looks at me over her shoulder. “You do?”
“Yeah, Reagan is actually going to keep Knox, so I thought we could go away for the night.”
She looks down at Knox, and I can see that she’s also struggling with leaving him. She does at night, but it’s always with me. “We have a date, just us, tomorrow night,” she reminds me.
“I rented us a cabin, up at Thompson Lake.”
“Seriously?” she asks.
I think it’s finally starting to set it. “I don’t have any clothes. We have to stop by my house.” She looks at Reagan. “Are you sure you can keep him? We can take him with us.”
My sweet girl.
“It’s all good, Kendall,” Reagan assures her. “I’ve known for a couple of weeks.”
Kendall hugs Knox closer. “When do we leave?”
“As soon as you feel like you’ve had enough loving from the little man. I had Dawn pack you a bag. It’s already in the truck.”
“Hey, bud, you get to have a sleepover with Aunt Reagan,” Kendall continues to talk to my son. He may not understand her, but he hangs onto every word. His eyes follow her as she talks, never looking away.
“You be a good boy,” she tells Knox, and her voice breaks.
“You okay?” I whisper in her ear.
“Why am I upset? He’s not mine. I mean, it’s . . .” She stands against my attempt to keep her on my lap, hands Knox to me, and walks out of the room.
I stand to follow her and Reagan holds her hand up. “Ridge, stop. She loves him; this is a hard situation for her. Let her have a minute.
I take a step toward the hall and Tyler stands too. “She needs a minute, Ridge. Think about it. She’s been with you since he was, what, a week or so old? She’s here all the time.”
“She leaves him with you at night, but no one else. She wears her heart on her sleeve, that one,” Reagan adds.
I wait as long as I can stand it before I hand Knox to Reagan and go in search of her. I knock lightly on the bathroom door and she opens it slowly, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I know I have no right, and I’m trying to control it, I just . . . I’m sorry. I’m excited about going away, I am. I want time with you.”
I step into the small half bath and close the door behind me. Hands on her hips, I lift her to sit on the counter. I pull a tissue out of the box on the back of the toilet and wipe her cheeks.
“You love him, Kendall. I get that. Hell, it causes all kinds of emotions to swirl inside me. He’s a part of me.”
“I do and he is, but he’s such a sweet baby, and I miss him when I’m not with you. I miss you when I’m not with you,” she says, looking down at her lap.
“Baby, look at me.” I wait for her sad blue eyes to meet mine. “We miss you too. Both of us. We love you.” Shit. This is not how I wanted to tell her. I had it all planned out for tonight—to tell her I’ve fallen in love with her, make love to her, candles, a bottle of wine, all that. I had it all planned and I blurt it out in my bathroom.
Real smooth, jackass.
I need to fix this. I cup her face in my hands so she can’t look away. She hasn’t said a word, and that scares the hell out of me. “I’m in love with you. All of me, every second, every hour, every day that I spend with you, that love grows, and I ache until I can see you again.” Her silent tears continue to fall, but she remains silent. “It gets me here,” I say, holding our combined hands over my heart. “Seeing you with my son. The way you love him.”
“I do,” she says, her voice soft. “I love both of you so much, and it’s been fast and perfect, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’m just scared that it’s going to go away. That the universe will fight against me, against us being this happy.”
Not gonna lie, I’m choked up. “You love me?” I ask her.
She laughs. “You caught that, did you?”
“I did.” I kiss her tear-covered lips then rest my forehead against hers. “This is real, Kendall. This is me and you and that little boy in there, living life. Who cares if it was fast or what others might think, even the universe? It’s ours, and that’s all that matters.”
Chapter 36
I am such a baby. I know he’s not mine, but God does it feel like he is. I love that little boy with everything inside me. If I lose Ridge, I lose Knox, and I think that’s what threw me over the edge. It hit me that those two have become my world in such a small amount of time.
I wouldn’t come back from losing them.
“I’m sure they think I’ve lost my marbles,” I say into Ridge’s
chest. He’s holding me close as I sit on the small counter in his bathroom.
He chuckles. “No, they don’t. They get it. They told me to give you time, but I couldn’t stand the thought of you hurting and me not being there to hold you through it.”
I slip my hands under his shirt and feel the defined planes of his back as he holds me. I told him I loved them, both of them, but it’s more than that. It’s as if I’m no longer me without them. Nothing makes sense in my life without seeing the two of them as a part of it. Part of me is fearful Ridge would think I am trying to take Melissa’s place. Don’t get me wrong, it would be an honor to have that little man call me Mom, but that choice will be up to Ridge. Maybe one day in the future.
I would never want to take her place. I like to think that she’s looking down on us, and she’s happy that Ridge found someone who loves them the way I do. I think about my parents’ and my childhood. If it were me looking down on those I loved, I know it would bring me peace.
“You love me?” I ask him, needing to hear it again.
He chuckles. “I more than love you, Kendall. I just don’t have the words to explain it. It’s all-consuming, fierce, and I promise you it’s forever.”
Pulling back, I look up at him, a slow smile spreading across my face. “Let’s go say good-bye to little man and head to the cabin.”
His lips touch mine. “Love you, sweet girl.” He steps back and lifts me from the counter.
I follow him downstairs, dreading seeing Tyler and Reagan after the way I acted, but I should’ve known better. Reagan has Knox, and as soon as she sees us she walks right past Ridge and stops in front of me.
“You okay?” she asks, her voice low. I nod and offer her a teary smile. She surprises me when she pulls me into a one-armed hug. “He loves you. They both do. Embrace it, Kendall.”
I want to tell her that he told me. That I just shared one of the best moments of my life in that little half bath, but I don’t have time before she’s pulling away and handing Knox to me.
“Hey, buddy,” I say, my voice cracking. He grins up at me, and I can literally feel that grin tugging on my heartstrings.
