by Kaylee Ryan
I allow myself to get lost in his kiss, the taste of him and the feel of him pulling me closer. I have no idea how much time passes and I don’t care. I want this moment with him.
The ringing of a cell phone causes Evan to pull away. He rests his forehead against mine. My eyes are closed, but I can feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest with each breath.
A loud beep causes him to pull away. “Kinley.” His voice is pained.
Looking into his eyes, filled with so many emotions—pain, desire, and maybe even regret—I place my index finger over his lips to stop him. “I’m here for you, Evan. Whatever you need. I don’t regret this, being here with you, but I am going to leave. I think you need some time to process your day. I’m going to Mike’s tonight. I’m meeting Olivia there, but if you need me, call me. I will be here if you want me.”
I place one final soft kiss against his lips before climbing off the couch and walking out the door. I fight the urge to look back, to see if he followed me. It takes me no time to make it back to the house. It’s quiet; Mom and Dad were going out to dinner with friends and it’s hard to tell where Aaron is. He might even show up at Mike’s. That’s where everyone usually ends up. Not much to do in this small town.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, I see I’ve only got a half hour before I’m supposed to meet Olivia. I’d spent more time at Evan’s than I thought. Running upstairs, I freshen up, spritz a little Victoria Secret body spray, and call it good.
I pull into Mike’s with two minutes to spare. As soon as I walk through the door, Olivia spots me.
“McKinley, get your ass over here, girl.”
She’s already well on her way to having her ass carried out of here. I’m sure Mike is thrilled.
“I didn’t think you’d ever get here,” she says when I reach her.
“I’m right on time.” I raise my arm and show her my watch.
“Hey, McKinley, what are you drinking?” Mike asks.
“Just water for now.” He raises his eyebrows, but I ignore him. Even though I’m in my hometown, I don’t like to drink alone, meaning I don’t have someone designated to make sure my ass gets home safely. It’s a rule my roommates and I made in college and I still live by it.
Mike slides a cold bottle of water toward me. I reach out to grab it, and he pulls it back. “You still owe me a dance.”
I smile and nod. I’ll give him his one dance, but that’s all he’s getting, regardless of how charming he thinks he is.
“Let’s dance,” Olivia says, pulling my behind out onto the dance floor. The band is a local cover band and they’re really good. Olivia and I dance for five or six songs straight, so many that I lose track. A slow one comes on and I mimic taking a drink. She nods her agreement and we make our way through the crowd back to the bar.
Mike sees us approaching and places a bottle of beer and a glass of water on the counter. I chug the water and hand it back to him to throw away. The slow song ends, but the band slips right into another. “You ready for that dance?” Mike asks me.
“Let’s do this,” I say in reply. I’m trying to keep our interactions as friendly as possible. I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.
Mike steps out from around the bar and reaches for my hand. I place mine in his and allow him to lead me to the dance floor. He stops at the edge and pulls me against him, resting his hands on my hips. I take a step back and rest my hands on his shoulders.
“So, how’s the studio coming along?”
“Great actually, thanks for asking. I’m staying busy.” I look around at all the people in the Tavern. “Looks like business is good,” I say, making small talk.
“Yeah, I really couldn’t be happier with the crowds. It took a while to get the word out, but once I started booking bands, that changed quickly.”
“People do love live music,” I say.
“Listen, McKinley—” he starts to say, but the song ends the lead singer starts talking to the crowd. I release a deep breath.
I once again mimic taking a drink, so we can leave the dance floor. I said one dance. When we reach the bar, Evan and Aaron are sitting there talking to Olivia.
“McKinley, thank you for the dance.” Mike pulls my hand to his lips and kisses it with a wink.
Chapter 15
Evan
Son of a bitch!
The first thing I see when we walk into Mike’s is him and Kinley dancing together. From her stance, it looks as though she’s keeping her distance and they’re talking. It doesn’t look the least bit romantic, but it still burns my ass that he has his hands on her.
I know what it feels like to have her in my arms.
Olivia greets us with a smile and a drunken, “Hey y’all.” She pulls Aaron down to her level and kisses his cheek, only offering me a wave. Not that I care. Aaron can have her. She’s never hid the fact that she wants him. I have my eyes on forbidden fruit.
I focus my attention on Aaron and Olivia. They’re talking about Morning Star. “She pulled through. So far, the vet comes out weekly to check her and all is well,” Aaron explains.
From the corner of my eye, I see Kinley and Mike approaching us. I watch as he kisses the back of her hand, and I have the overwhelming urge to beat my fist against my chest and go all Tarzan on his ass. I’m about to do just that when he drops her hand and steps back behind the bar. I watch as Kinley wipes her hand on the back of her short-as-hell shorts. The same shorts she was wearing out at my house just a few hours ago.
I try to bite back my grin at her obvious annoyance with Mike, but it’s just not possible. “What’s got you all smiles?” Aaron asks.
“Nothing, man. Just nice to get out and clear my mind,” I tell him. It is. Misty’s appointment today really messed me up. I’m worried sick about my unborn daughter while she’s off doing God only knows what.
I tried again today to give her money, but she refused. I reminded her she’s carrying my baby, and her reply was, “You don’t need to keep reminding me, I know.” I hate how she’s not taking care of herself, and I despise it even more that I can’t do anything about it. Yes, she signed the papers, but there is no real proof she’s not eating. Just a suspicion I have, not to mention the doctors worry over her lack of weight gain.
The four of us stand at the bar and chat about nothing important while Mike continues to watch Kinley. He keeps offering her a beer, but she continues to refuse him. Finally, the band slows things down. Olivia pulls Aaron to the floor, leaving me alone with Kinley. She’s been acting like earlier didn’t happen, and I don’t know how I feel about that.
Leaning in close, so she can hear me over the music, I ask, “Will you dance with me?”
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she reaches for my hand, laces her fingers through mine, and pulls me to the dance floor. We don’t stop at the edge where she was dancing with Mike. She guides us through the crowd and stops on the opposite side where the lights are low. Placing her hands behind my neck, she gently runs her fingers through my hair.
With my hands on her hips, I pull her as close as I can get her and clasp my hands together on her lower back. I don’t want her slipping away easily. Kinley leans forward and rests her head against my chest, and that simple act has my heart hammering. I watched her with Mike, and this was not how they danced; she’d kept her distance.
She wants to be close to me.
I take what feels like my first breath since she walked out of my house earlier tonight. I was sure our friendship, or whatever it is you want to call what we have, was ruined. I tried hard to regret it, but I will never regret a single fucking second, I get to spend with her.
I rest my chin on the top of her head and pray the band drags this song out, or plays another slow one. Hell, they could slow it down for the rest of the night if it means I get to hold her like this. I know I shouldn’t. Aaron is out here on this same dance floor and he could see me---see us. I assume that’s why Kinley led us to the darkest part of the dance floor. I know I s
hould care, but with her in my arms like this, I can’t find any fucks to give.
The song comes to an end and Kinley raises her head. Instead of pulling away, she stands on her tiptoes and hugs me tight. Leaning down, I bury my face in her neck. “Please don’t go out with him,” I beg her.
Her lips touch my ear as she whispers, “I don’t want him.”
Relief.
All consuming relief washes through me. I’m still holding her and I know I have to let her go, but I don’t want to. I want her like this, with me like this always.
Kinley steps out of my embrace and our bodies are no longer touching. I study her face to see how she’s feeling, but she gives nothing away. Turning, she starts to walk back to the bar. It takes about two seconds for me to catch up to her. Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guide her. She may not be mine, but hopefully, all these drunk fucks won’t be able to figure that out and will keep their distance.
At the bar, Mike’s attitude has changed. He’s no longer offering Kinley drinks and he spends the majority of his time at the other end of the bar. That means he was watching us, witnessed me holding her. I can’t help but feel a little smug at the thought.
“Olivia’s tanked. I told Mike we would take her home,” Aaron explains.
Olivia is sitting on a barstool slumped over the bar. She was three sheets to the wind when we got here, so I’m not surprised this is the outcome. “Did you drive?” I ask Kinley.
“Yeah, I met her here.”
Digging in my pocket, I pull my keys out and hand them over to Aaron. “Take my truck. I’ll just have Kinley drop me off. I can get my truck tomorrow.”
Aaron looks over at Kinley and she nods in agreement. “Yeah, I’m thinking she’s going to need most of the bench seat in your truck. There’s no keeping her up.”
“Good luck, my man.” I clap Aaron on the shoulder. He grumbles a reply that I can’t make out, but I’m pretty sure he’s calling me a dick.
Aaron lifts Olivia off the stool, nods to Mike that he has her, and heads toward the door. Kinley and I follow, me with my hand on the small of her back. Mike will be able to see us; Aaron will not. It’s intimate, yet a gentlemanly gesture. I’m not doing anything wrong; at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
Kinley opens the truck door, allowing Aaron to place a passed out Olivia in the seat. He buckles her in and shuts the door. “See you at the house,” he says to Kinley. “I’ll bring your truck by tomorrow, man,” he says to me. It’s not lost on me that Aaron wanted to get a drink tonight, and he had only one. He stopped drinking as soon as he saw how wasted Olivia was getting.
We watch as Aaron pulls out of the lot before heading to Kinley’s Durango. She pulls the keys out of her pocket and hands them to me. “You can just drop me off and take my car. I have two sessions tomorrow in the studio, so I won’t need it anytime soon.” The last is said through her yawn.
I take the key from her hand and kiss the top of her head. “Let’s get you home, beautiful.” The words slip off my tongue as if it’s something I’ve said to her multiple times. My reward is a sleepy smile before she climbs into the passenger seat. I make sure she’s buckled in before closing her door.
When I pull up to her house, it’s dark. I know Aaron mentioned his parents going out tonight. I turn off the SUV and look over to find Kinley is sleeping soundly. Her body is angled toward mine, her soft breaths causing a gentle rise and fall of her chest. I turn so I’m facing her and rest my head against the seat. I memorize her in this moment. I don’t ever want to forget how peaceful she looks.
I wish things were different. I wish, instead of driving us here, I could take her home. I could carry her up to my room and curl my body around hers. I need to find a way to block these feelings she evokes in me. I know I do, but for tonight, when it’s just me watching her, I don’t want to.
Glancing at my phone for the time, I see I’ve been sitting here way longer than what I should have. I’ve gone into the creeper category. There is a physical ache in my chest because I know I have to wake her up. I have to end my time with her and that pisses me off.
Raising my hand to her cheek, I softly run my fingers along her jawline. “Kinley, you’re home.”
Her eyes flutter, but she doesn’t wake up. Leaning closer, my lips graze her ear. “Time to wake up, beautiful.” That’s the second time tonight the endearment has fallen from my lips, and I can only hope she’s too sleepy for it to register.
Finally, her eyes leisurely open. I pull my lips away from her ear, which brings my mouth closer to hers. “Hey.” Her voice is raspy and laced with sleep.
“Hey.” I tuck a loose hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry to wake you.” If she only knew how true that statement is.
“It’s fine. Sorry I fell asleep on you.”
I’m not. “You were tired.” I want to kiss her.
“Yeah, I guess I was. Thank you for driving.” She makes no effort to move from the car.
“Aaron will be back soon,” I say. I know he will be wondering what the hell I’ve been doing, sitting outside with her for so long. Reluctantly, I back away and remove her keys from the ignition. “Let’s get you inside.”
Kinley meets me at the front of her Durango and surprises me when she places her arm through mine and leans against me. She has no idea how hard she’s making it for me to leave her.
We reach the door without her losing her grip on my arm, and I manage to get it unlocked. Looking down, I see she’s staring up at me. “Sweet dreams.” I kiss her forehead and step back. She releases her arm from mine and walks inside. “Lock up,” I say just as the door shuts, securing her safely behind it.
Locked away from me.
Chapter 16
McKinley
Looking at my watch, I see it’s after six; no wonder I’m starving. I’ve been in the studio since nine and have gone non-stop until just a few minutes ago. I had five sessions today and most of them ended up taking more time than they should have. Explosive diapers, tantrums, late clients—you name it, it happened. I need to set a firm line with being late, but it was three kids, ages: sixteen, nineteen, and twenty-one. Their mom is sick and they wanted to give her a picture of all three of them. It’s something she’s been begging them to agree to for years. These boys came in wearing their heart on their sleeves and I couldn’t turn them away.
Deciding I’ve had enough for the day, I pack up my camera and turn off the lights. Once in the house, I see my phone sitting on the kitchen table. I’ve been so busy today I didn’t even realize I’d left it. I grab a cold slice of pizza, left over from last night. Aaron, Evan, and I had ordered in. Mom and Dad are at a show in Tennessee, so it was just the three of us. After I pour myself a glass of tea, I balance my drink, my cold pizza, and my phone as I settle into the couch.
It feels good to finally sit.
I take a huge bite of pizza and swipe the screen of my phone. I see I’ve missed multiple calls from Aaron and Evan. I assume it’s just because they couldn’t get a hold of me, neither are too keen on the idea. I roll my eyes as I look at my missed text messages. Olivia was supposed to text me about going to the outlet malls this weekend.
I have a text from Mom, Olivia, Aaron, and Evan. I open Mom’s first; she’s just checking in. It’s like they forgotten I’ve lived on my own for four years while in college. I open Olivia’s next. She’s good to go with our shopping expedition on Saturday. I type a quick reply that I’ll be at her place at eight to pick her up. I open Aaron’s message next.
Aaron: Where are you?
Aaron: Call me as soon as you get this.
Aaron: MCKINLEY!
Something’s wrong. My hands are shaking as I try to tap the screen to read Evan’s texts.
Evan: Call me
Evan: Where are you? Call me as soon as you get this.
Evan: I need you.
Reading his last text slays me. With hands shaking even worse than before, I pull up my favorites list and hit Evan�
�s name. When I bring the phone to my ear, I feel the tears I was unaware were falling. The shrill ring of his phone and then the sound of his voicemail picking up—“This is Evan. Leave a message.”—causes a sob to break from my chest.
Hitting end, I tap Aaron’s name and hold my breath, waiting for him to answer.
“Kinley.” His voice is gruff.
“What’s wrong?”
“Where are you?” he asks.
“I’m at home. I left my phone in the house. I had a full day in the studio. What’s wrong?” My voice breaks on another sob as I ask the question again.
“I’m almost there. I was coming to look for you. We were worried.”
“Evan, where is he?”
“I’ll explain when I get there. Be ready to leave. I just pulled onto our road.”
I hang up, not caring if he has more to say. Cold pizza and hunger forgotten, I grab my purse, phone, and keys. Locking the door behind me, I walk out to the driveway and pace back and forth.
Waiting.
Wondering.
I hear Aaron’s diesel truck before I see him. He pulls up beside me and I wrench the door open and climb inside. “Talk!” I demand as I fight back another round of tears.
“Hey.” Aaron reaches over and grabs my hand. “Take a deep breath. What’s got you so upset?”
“Something’s wrong. The text messages…” My voice trails off as I bite down hard on my bottom lip to control the tears.
“Okay, but I need you to stay calm. Misty had an appointment today. During her exam, the doctor noticed the baby’s heartbeat was low. Too low.” He takes a minute to let that sink in. “Evan had to rush her to the hospital where they are monitoring her and the baby. If there is no improvement, they’re going to have to take the baby,” Aaron calmly explains.
